I do actually, but mostly only on 4chan can't be assed to go use another website.

Look upon its glory. The Mask. The UNSPEAKABLE lay just behind it; a cultural and physical manifestation of the power behind the Supreme Ruler. With it, you'd have the power to defeat the Esaal. But you reject it. There's a lot of reasons for it, but ultimately... you just decide it isn't worth it. Maybe it's an insult to the heritage of your office, but this isn't the first time you've broken tradition.

“Oh well.” The bureaucrat said. “It is a shame we will not see another Unspeakable in my lifetime, but ultimately, your decision is the right one.” He packs up the mask, carefully closing each latch one a time as to make sure it is absolutely secure, and then he leaves and you never see him again.

Without the power of the Deathmask, you realize that you and your nation may simply not have the power to fight the Esaal head on. You still want to get revenge on them some day for what they've done, or perhaps your successor should one day humble them the same way the Aristocrats and Consortium were humbled; to truly prove the Hegemony's strength.

But how? For both the Consortium and the Aristocrats, you defeated them through your military strength and skill. Through heroism. But now you know the Esaal has their own heroes too; even if there is nothing good or noble about them. They are still “heroic”; even greater then your own. You know that in the HVS, there were many Hazaar who were part of the puppet government who had great combat skill and the best equipment, the best training. Not idiotic warrior-caste obsessed with rape; but actual smart, focused, tactical professionals. Shocktroopers, or maybe Cocktroopers. The HVS's spec ops. While most were registered and easily disarmed and put into the extermination camps; some were wise to it, engaging in guerilla warfare and special operations. To the Hazaar, these guys were scary. Not a single Redstripe Commando was ever killed by one of them. That was the difference between your martial cultures. That difference can't be the same as between yours and the Esaal, but it's something to consider.

In the meantime, you need to see the Doctor about your condition and get some answers.