>>82303202
Numb, and I'm fine with whatever happens next.
>siblings intentionally skip texting me happy birthday and but say happy birthday to our mom who made me eat my own feces as a kid and locked me in the basement
>have no internal motivation so i can only give as much as i get
>only person i talk to is my psychiatrist once a month
The only thing I care about is academics since it was the only thing that gave me structure and purpose, so I'm going for a PhD. I apply in November, but I also want to get my law degree so I'm taking my LSAT in October. I've only studied once in the past 4 months because I can't make myself care. Can't imagine doing anything else, so if I can't get in to my schools I'm gonna blow my head off in front of my campus or something.