normal people do not have the mental capacity to even think about these things. they are goycattle just living unconsciously. if you are here on this website communicating your thoughts you obviously have some measure of intelligence. so you've got that going for you.

when I was in my deepest darkest depressions I was just living off a credit card and jerking my dick all day. I didn't do anything important. eventually I found an outlet through my songwriting and made an album of music for myself. there was no point in it. nobody ever cared about it. but it gave me something to focus on and kept me alive. I suggest you find something in life that really lights you up; something you can truly get excited over. pursue it relentlessly.

stop watching porn. go outside. do something you don't usually do. wanna know what I used to do when I was just rotting in my apartment all day? I'd get in my car and drive to a diner 40 minutes away. I wasn't meeting anyone there. I just wanted to remove myself from my surroundings. try it and see how it feels.

you're gonna be alright, man. just keep going.