i am depressed and think about suicide all the time but never self-harm. I mean, i wanna kms because life is difficult and the bad outweighs the good. Why would I add even more bad? Even more suffering and troubles?

>>82304928
So its his fault you started smoking? Why even bother with him if he's not your second half. Either go meet up with him and beg for a second chance, or block him and delete him from your life. Sorry for overreactiing, but I read your daily timetable last thread and somehow it was even worse than mine during my worst depression... you need to do SOMETHING with your life to not go insane. Not even necessarily productive, even just taking a walk through a forest will do.