I posted this in another thread, but cobes had a strength in himself that we can all aspire to. He really, truly lived his life how he wanted, despite having everything stacked against him. It was tragedy after pain, circumstance after circumstance, and he never lost sight of who he was. Never gave a single concession to life's hurdles and lived his life doing what he wanted, fuck everything else. I wouldn't have been able to persist in his shoes. RIP you gothic madman wand wizard, I'm getting drunk tonight in your honor.

>>512426364
I was smoking between $400 and $800 worth of dabs (butane hash oil) every month. Wake up? Dab. Couple hours later? Dab. Lunch? Dab. Afternoon? Dab. Evening? Dab. 11PM? Dab. 3 AM? Dab. Girlfriend would wake up in the middle of the night (because she was also using it heavily), dab time. Bought a really fancy piece of glassware, Evan Shore quartz bangers, fancy blowtorch, carb cap custom made by a guy, etc.

As a result I don't remember the period between 18 and 23 years old. It's all just a blur with some sort of slideshow memories of parties and sitting at my computer, and my desk at work during the time. I quit and my girlfriend left me because "I changed". Relapsed, ended up with an even more disgusting whore, quit again, same thing all over again. I found it made me extremely anxious and uncomfortable, like a prisoner in my own body.

Now I exclusively drink alcohol and I'm downing 6-10 7% IPAs a night. Ballooned up to 180lbs all in my gut, I sweat constantly, can't go a single day without drinking. I've gone from the flower jew to the liquid jew. It's not worth it brothers. I love the clarity and peace alcohol gives me, but I can actively feel myself dying.