I only read the > part of your post
As a 36 year old failure who believes he has reached his "midlife crisis", I believe that the thousands of hours and hundreds of hours I have spent grinding and escaping in escapism Wow, osrs, lineage 2, that god damned ventrillo server and it splinters that haunt my dreams, it was all a waste of time because it is all an ephemeral waste of time that I used to escape from reality. If my father had told me to fuck off instead of just giving me a shrug and going "oh... i thought you played an instrument. Damn." I could have turned out better? You are ignoring reality. I seriously hope you are still a wee little zoomer who thinks that his suffering means anything? I hope so... Youth ends at 25, you will reach a hurtful break eventually. Please break free and seek salvation. The future is terrifying. Most people expect to live a minimum of 70 years.