>denied raise this week
>big conference call powwow today
>drink a huge glass of orange juice for breakfast
>slip part of a soft, porous bath sponge between my ass cheeks while dressing (aka a "silencer")
>eat half a party size bag of Cape Cod salt & vinegar potato chips right before leaving
>get into office, already feeling the rumble
>conference call circlejerk beg8nning right away
>quickly chug a Pepsi from the vending machine as the ignition, go into conference room
>five minutes in, silently let out a long, smooth, continuous gas discharge
>entire room suddenly fills with the smell of acidic broccoli
>dude from shipping logistics slams his pen down in disgust
>the fat bitch from development about gags, gets up and rushes out of the room
>everyone in general is disgusted & upset
>head office people on other end of the vidcall keep having to pause in dispensing their bullshit
>one of the bigwigs asks if we're all on board here
>our manager apologizing as I dispense another discharge
>"Sieg Zeon you motherfuckers" I think to myself as I act as disgusted as everyone else and fire some hard glances at the bitch who denied my raise a few seats away from me
Call went on like this for over a fucking hour. I "ran out of ammo" toward the end. Boss was upset after the call was over but couldn't direct it toward anyone in particular, though he and a few others did give the bitch some accusatory looks after I began. Now, the weekend, and then back to the cage on Monday, but holy shit I enjoyed this.