>Nunono
>Undescended testicles
>Literally sucking nuts
>"What are we some kinda if a tree falls down in the woods, when there's no one else around, does it really make a noise?"
>"Say that again"
I can tell youre not Spanish. I cant tell if youre an actual pervert or just thought it would be edgy to mention a kid jerking off.
>NomenNomenK
This comes off as having been written by a homeschooled child. I thought it was a comedy at first because the idea of an Armenian immigrant child with no dad, cancer, and ADHD who was constantly covered in mud and forced to eat flowers (this never happens btw) deciding to kill himself seemed absurd, but the end reminded me of the book I tried to write when I was 16. I was only homeschooled for one semester beeteedubya. I also voted for this before I actually read it, and I think youre depressed and need some time to think things over and adjust your sleep.
>No.24774948
I really liked the prose and structure. I could very well imagine the setting. The exposition isnt given in a way that I particularly like, and the "this character is having an emotional moment" stuff never appealed to me, but its really good otherwise. I hope you write for Novembers contest too. Stay giga.
>Gigawriter
Ohmyperfect. You really forshadowed your next installment of capeshit notBatman that youre going to shoehorn into the November contest too. Bravo.
>311z4b3th4n
Id guess you like to read Chinese literature but you probably just get it secondhand from manga. Neat concept and heckin' comfy story, but Jess is characterized like a cardboard cutout, and feels like a "normal innocent normal (shes normal btw)" character that was written by someone imagining her sexually. No normal person, let alone a woman, thinks or acts this way. No matter how pure. If you want to write a good female character, imagine a little girl (toddler) but more articulate and obsessive. Youre on the right track in my giga opinion.
>vampdaddy
I think its cheap you wrote about an actual thief, but if it were a year or two back I would have written it in the exact same way if I had decided to do that. I think you didnt include other characters in the story because youre uncomfortable with writing dialogue and struggle to imagine a plot beyond the experiences of one person. I also think youre sleep deprived.
>Red!ZU
You lack confidence which is why this is less than a page long and doesnt contain much anything beyond basic symbols. Decently written though.
1/2
