>failure to procreate as last member of royal dynasty
>losing family fortune in single night of gambling
>losing parents, spouse and children in a single day
>failing tribal rite of passage into manhood
>universally beloved work of satire turns you, your life's work and your entire lineage into an absolute joke
>worshipped as a god by tribe of savages
>sexually attracted to arthropods
>becoming a ghost
>castrato singer
>bullfighter
>gladiator
>food taster
>most expensive working prostitute in the world
>male with most times jacked off to completion in a lifetime
>eaten alive by beloved pet
>forced to swallow molten gold
>accidental first-degree incest