>>719132754
>"This summer, James Sunderland finds himself in a resort town..."
>sound of toilet flushing as James walks out of the restroom from the start of the game, toilet paper stuck to his shoe
>"...but he's not on vacation!"
>James: Is this the way to Silent Hill? I'm looking for my one true love.
>Maria: Aren't we all, tiger~
>"Get ready for an unforgettable trip to a special place!"
>James rolls down his car window to blow out smoke, looks down at his vape with a confused look as fog surrounds him
>"And make some friends along the way!"
>Shot of Eddy throwing up in the toilet
>Eddy: I shouldn't have had so much pizza...
>Laura runs away, giggling
>James: Get back here you little brat!
>Cut to Pyramid Head standing in the background
>James: He's right behind me, isn't he?
>Slapstick compilation, includes Laura kicking James in the balls, James making a silly face as a monster sprays acid on him, Laura pulling Eddy's hat over his eyes, Maria getting stabbed by Pyramid Head, Eddy shooting James in the shoulder
>"And maybe even find love?"
>James sticks his arm in the toilet to get an ammo box
>Maria: Ok we are *not* holding hands after this!
>James and Maria embracing each other at the strip club
>James: I got a letter from my late wife... but I think I found someone better.
>"Welcome to Silent Hill, coming to a theater near you!"
>Final boss Mary shrieks and hovers over James
>Mary: YOU KILLED ME JAAAAAAMES!!!!
>James: You know, I kinda thought you'd be out of my life once you died.