>>42585503
>Royal Army Egghead Division
>Proposal for new armor project

>Repeated interviews with Anons as well as study of captured materials has provided a possible solution to the Booping problem:
>Descriptions of a moonar landing, laughable as they are, have been too consistent and detailed to be mere horseplay.
>This is also true for descriptions of equipment and vehicles. Researchers remained baffled by the bulky equipment, as all theoretical models of outer space favor rubber jumpsuits and bubble helmets
>This final conundrum was solved by Kerbanon's description of The Kraken, a chaos demon that lives in space and boops large vehicles to pieces
>With this puzzle finally complete, the lazy nerds were convinced to start building a prototype:

>Fishbowl helmet provides immunity to booping
>Pressurized suit provides full body tickle resistance
>Textured hoofboots work in all terrain, finally our guards can stop slipping on the palace floors
>Armored kneecaps prevent scrapes
>Big flashlight
>Knife levitator allows cake cutting in even the worst conditions

>Preliminary testing has shown Anons are less prone to riot when the cake knife is present. Possible specieswide dependency on cake leads to desperation? More testing necessary.