Thread 42523771

Previous thread:>>42424515

Welcome to the Thread! Kinderquestria/Anon in pone prison focuses on the world and adventures of naive child like ponies and the misadventures and shenanigans of Anon that results in him going to prison! To get a good handle on how things are done around here I implore you to check out our new and improved one stop shop of kinder greens and prompts here >> https://ponepaste.org/7630

Fall is falling upon us

>>42523942
indeed

>>42523942
>>42523957
How does Vomitvomiting draw every pony with the most seductive fuck-me eyes ever seen on Earth?

>>42524052
the power of horny compels him, but on a more serious note it's because he tends to give them bedroom eyes and or eye shadow.

>>42524076
God imagine being trapped in a chaste kinderquestria where that's just the default expression. Mares, stallions, griffons, doesn't matter.

>>42524090
a fate worse than hell for horny people.

>>42524340
High speed headpats can easily become smacks. Be careful.

>>42524458
How Anon ended up in pone prison

>>42524695
This picture always makes me laugh

>>42525181
Everypony get down, he's got a pony butt and he's not afraid to use it

Dang it, Derpy

>>42525663
Derpy would never be that careless with a muffin

>>42526232
would pet this pony

pre bed bwubs

>>42526409
cute!

>>42526904
Thought that said winter melon

>>42527568
somepony save her, for the love of god

>>42527613
Save her? She's having the time of her life!

>>42527568
I love when my wife's ears twitch

>>42527735
I also love when your wife's ears twitch

>SCP-003
>Containment Class: Null

>Special Containment Protocols:
>SCP-003 cannot be contained in entirety nor perpetuity. It is omnipresent for half of each day.
>Isolated areas can exclude SCP-003's influence by means magical or architectural (see tactical assessment of: Roof)
>Testfriends must be monitored for dissent, particularly during peak ice cream season.
>Any avowed winter enjoyers are to be kept off of SCP-003 containment committees, due to increased risk of disproportionate action.
>Nightmare Moon was not 'the right call.'

>Description:
>SCP-003 is the apparent relationship between direct sunlight and hot.
>Times of extreme SCP-003 influence are responsible for countless cases of sweaty wingpits, thirsty ponies, and total [redacted] of ice cream cones.
>For the last time, we need the sun, somepony just figure out how Anon's wagon makes cold air!

>>42528480
Keep rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin' (Come on)
Keep rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin' (What?)
Keep rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin' (Yeah)
Keep rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin'

>Mask of the Mother
>Zweinoodle
>Muffincrest Shield
>Ring of Flavor and Perfection
All you could ever need

It's had not having hands

>>42528766
What was she trying to do!?

>>42529758
A unanimous decision

>>42528207
Very nice.

Filly replaced Equestria's water supply with baja blast Celestia was going to do code red

>>42531461
how dastardly

This one is gonna need more headpats

>>42532074
plot twist: it's not a threat, it's a warning about her sharp horn

>>42531461
Brawndo
It's got what ponies crave.

>>42532587
>'Anon, whaddaya mean 'water?'
>'Water goes in water parks, not on plants!'

>>42532702
> Cut to anon working with Twilight to fix the kinderquestria education system.

pre bed moona

Punishment for her evil ways

>>42533316
For the last time, you aren't being punished, you just can't be trusted not to gnaw your rump raw every time a flea bites you.

>>42533316
Pet.

>>42534329
Will

>>42535157
Tragedy. The driest mare you know is about to be moistened.

>>42535157
> Cut to a bunch of ponies cooking marshmallows using Daybreaker.

>>42523771 (OP)
Cute

>>42535248
Tragedy: they can't bring the chocolate close enough, it melts in the wrapper

>>42536048
What a silly filly

>>42536358
The silly filly will fall upon ball. The prophecy is true.

>>42536950
>Fort Equals Three
What could it mean?

>>42536980
I've heard a myth that =3 is supposed to be a cats face but i just don't see it

>>42537178
Oh, smug cat face is :3
People who use equals signs for emoji eyes are demons.

Pre-bed would

>>42532074
Its starting to work

pre errand boop

>>42538843
Derpy somehow secretly being the least innocent is kinda hilarious.

>>42537178
>>42537379
Ever since watching Brendaniel read "Denko (´･ω･`)":
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gw-ID3eMcEw&list=PLpNAl5zLZSMUcMfsUrHFGR_avA6Jql2bl
I can't help but read any variation resembling :3 as "Stupid Fuckin' Hamster Face"

>>42540324
That is a neighbor, and she is in the hood. Carry on.

>>42539771
Based Brendaniel watcher. Give Sonic High School a watch if you haven't, it's my favorite series on youtube.

Boop.

>>42541158
This is why hands are a superpower

pre bed

>>42523771 (OP)
i love me poners

>>42541777
Damn, trips confirm she is in tendie heaven

>>42543547
Celestia you're going to get ticks from that

I like the idea of Blueblood being a dick to Rarity because he was already married and offended she didn't know

>>42545332
Oh no, she's posting lewd fanfics about original character Blainbow Blash

>>42545770
*uncle ruckus voice*
>"no relation to daring do"

>>42547216
>>42546797
10/10 would pet

>>42547956
That isn't a carrot, that's a wand of mind control, now she'll do whatever he wants!

>>42547956
pov you changed it to a mango

Pinkie Poppins

>>42548284
Do not underestimate the call of the froot

>>42549596
Bats don't get cutie marks, they get frootie marks

>>42550388
comfy

>>42550629
Then get outta the tub?

>>42551831
>>42551530
Total cookie domination

>>42551530
TWIGGY NOMS

>>42552466
Twiggy's moms!

>>42554396
Would you call her a clanker?

>>42554543
Absolutely not. Self aware constructs deserve love, the hard R is only for LLMs and phone directories.

>>42554543
If she was a robot yeah with the hard R all day everyday. at least if she was ok with it, wouldn't want to make her cry. crying ponies make me sad enough to want to literally die.

>>42555392
>Princesses swimming inside a princess

>>42556411
The milk mangler has been foiled

Begone foul demon!

>>42555928
What the heck is she drinking?

>>42557459
Another crisp scandinanonfilly

>>42557463
yerba mate traditional south american drink

The mlem has been mlultiplied

>>42557466
Hell yeah brother

>>42557765
Would hug.

pre bed lun

>>42559100
And yet she works from bed, so pre-bed lun is also morning lun from a certain point of view.

Oh no

posting in a thread made by a underaged kid that is also just a dead general with imagebumps

>>42559747
I'm almost 30

>>42559747
I'm post 30

>>42559747
I'm 30,

Anon horse.

>>42560996
>"She was just in my yard, eating grass- MENACINGLY!"

>>42561003
Regular horses VS Equestria.

>>42561639
Kek

>>42562325
cute

pre bed boop

>>42562786
Hooves are hard and sharp, that probably hurts

>>42562796
OTOH, Dash can plow into the ground at mach 1 and dig a furrow 50 feet long and come out with just a minor green fracture to a wing.

What is she planning to do with those bits?
There's no way the green menace has an innocent use for them.

>>42562820
>Comparing a playground scrape to aggravated booping
Not even the same ballpark. In fact I don't see a ballpark anywhere!
>>42563651
>Eating naked on the couch
Eugh, what if popcorn dust gets in his chest hair?
>>42563429
I would advise against that. Humans have no laws against long pointy sticks.
>>42563651
She's gonna pay taxes... with her coltfriend

>>42563429
Successful hunt (Lyra not pictured due to being stuck in a petting zoo)

>>42564488
Don't be mean to Rainbow, she doesn't know any better...

>>42565069
karot

>>42566696
NOI

>>42566696
NOI

>>42567342
How mares be looking at you

>>42524192
I'll bite. What do (you) want?

>>42568401
Happy fillies

>>42569145
Oh no, she's caught the bug-eye disease. I'm afraid the only cure is petting

>>42569299
you made her even more happy

>>42569384
Oh no. Situation deteriorating- get the powered hang-glider, now!

>>42570063
oh god she's just like her sister

>>42570063
Read the filename in the same voice and cadence as CARRIER HAS ARRIVED

>>42570063
How does she have so much luggage? She never wears clothes

>>42570822
The answer, obviously, is "something something CUTIE MARK!"

>>42564126
the idea that AJ is an impossibly shit cook for anything not apple-related amuses me.

>>42570886
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Sweetie Bellehop, YAY

>>42572320
Would pet and redeem

>>42572590
would pet the fuck out of

>>42572353
$1.75 redemption value

comfypone

>>42572867
I wish I could attain that level of comfy

uh oh

>>42573368
Purple synchronicity imminent. Scramble MTFs.

>>42573904
I can't eat or play vidya if I do that, though

>Anon showed a 'deep fried' funny picture
>tfw he doesn't laugh when you deep fry his laptop

>>42574596
Smartest pony behavior:

Holy shit she has heelys

>>42575115
Shiet she gonna go fast

>>42575873
Why is Appletini in a pencil holder?

>>42555392
im giga high and i really like this inage for some reason. it makes me nostalgic.

>Splash!
>Anon, the local human, sits in the ever familiar wooden lawn chair beneath the merciful shade of his backyard parasol umbrella. The glass of lemonade in his hand lifts off of the accumulated ring of condensed water and rises towards his lips, a warm smile already worn.
>Splash!
>The glass pauses, then retreats away from the lips that are now smiling wide. He laughs.
"Careful, Lu!" Anon calls out to the inflatable troublemaker as it sloshes around on the grass dangerously. "You too, Tia! Don't make me put tennis balls on your horns!"
>The two "prinseses" respond in the only way they know how.
>They give each other a look.
>Then a smile.
>Then a nod.
>Splash!
>A tidal wave strong enough to capsize a small boat roars over the sides of the under-qualified inflatable pool.
>The laughter that follows is nothing short of infectious, between Celestia's shrieking and Luna's howling, it's difficult for Anon to keep the stern frown on his face, even if he too is now soaking wet. Despite not being in the pool. Ten feet away.
"Fucking ponies, man..."

Pre-bed

What are they watching?

>>42576947
POPCORN SPOTTED!

>>42577149
New pone who dis?

>>42577579
Ponk is love, ponk is life

>>42577220
Popcorn the unicorn.

>>42578148
The proposed dad tax hike would not go unchallenged by the nightmare night celebrators

NOI!

>>42578670
N O I DETECTED

>>42578848
Derpy is a lvl 80 Pegasus Pomfer, she's qualified to hunt balloons

The cone of repentance
Equestria's greatest punishment

>>42579920
We all need to pet more Trixie

>>42579642
Biscuits!

>>42580129
Fatality

>>42579920
This reminds me of this: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/399244/i-thought-scritches-were-special
I've yet to actually read it, but it's on my too read list. Along with a bunch of other fan fictions.

>>42580769
Sweetie Belle has been scarred for life.

>>42579349
Slander. The cone is to stop her from biting the rash and becoming a villain after it inevitably gets worse.

>>42580769
I'd look the same way if twist ran up to me and licked me too.

>>42581228
>Twist's tongue turns you into Sweetie Belle

>>42581730
Twilight how many times do we have to go through this? I can't eat hay. I only stole a bite of the bread.

>>42581938
>Princess Luna survives brutal attempt on her life

>>42583082
Put her in a jar and call her Snapplejack

And here's Snapple Bloom

>>42583152
>>42583435
It's cause they are sweet apples

>>42583961
The ponk honks to increase the stonks

>>42583961
thats some quality animation there

>>42582496
>>42582833
Y'all ever wonder why Pipsqueak and Featherweight look so different from other ponies?

>>42584269
Maybe one or both of their parents were earth horses on an isekai adventure

>>42584390
Twilight you should get out more. Read about grass once in a while.

Boop

>"Psst! Anon! What did you get for question 4?"
>You look down at your paper.
>All you have filled out is 'AN N'.
>Next to what you're pretty sure is 'Name:' in Ponish.
>...
>Not your fault Ponish looks like it was written by a epileptic using their mouth.
>Quickly turning back to Applebloom you whisper back,
"C?"
>When it doubt just C it through.
>"'Seeuh?'"
>FUCK.
>And they're all called something else too.
"The uh, third one?"
>"Ugh, no! Question Four!"
>"Applebloom!"
>Quickly twisting forward you snap back to your paper.
>Shiiit, sorry yellow apple. You tried.
>Cheerilee will probably let her slide.
>Probably.
>You've got your own problems to worry about.
>Like what you're going to do if you fail this placement test.
>Life was all sunshine and rainbows until you tried to find a job.
>You have ZERO Equestrian education which wouldn't be quite as big a deal breaker if you had an ass-tattoo.
>But you don't and with not even having officially done your A-B-Cs and 1-2-3s you aren't getting hired for SHIT.
>And another problem,
>Which one of these fuckin' squiggles is an 'o'...
>...Sometime after the test you were called in to see Cheerilee.
>"Anonymous, I think you know what I'm about to tell you."
"Oh thank f-"
>She raises her eyebrow.
>Oh yeah, swearing isn't cool.
>You'll get fined n' shit.
>Which you'll need a JOB to afford.
>What a wicked world you now live in.
"friends. You realize I don't really need to be here, right? I'm perfectly capable to go out into the world and-"
>"You got every single question wrong."
>"Normally, as an educator, I would equate this to you *trying* to fail so as to, say, stay in the same grade as your friends."
>She taps all the red marks on what you think is your paper before tapping the very top...
>"But seeing as how you spelt your name 'ADED' on the date line, I think it's necessary you stay and receive a basic education..."
>yfw

>>42585082
literally me, I can't learn language for shit. failed to learn Italian several times. it took me fucking months to get hiragana/kanakata.

>>42585082
Plot twist: Ponish is exactly the same as English but the alphabet is all cursive

>>42585082
oh god i would fucking kill myself

>>42585261
You'd be resurrected and put in pone prison for traumatizing the class

>>42585266
time to abuse my position as kinder kenny then.

>>42585274
Who can stop this monster?

>>42585503
>Royal Army Egghead Division
>Proposal for new armor project

>Repeated interviews with Anons as well as study of captured materials has provided a possible solution to the Booping problem:
>Descriptions of a moonar landing, laughable as they are, have been too consistent and detailed to be mere horseplay.
>This is also true for descriptions of equipment and vehicles. Researchers remained baffled by the bulky equipment, as all theoretical models of outer space favor rubber jumpsuits and bubble helmets
>This final conundrum was solved by Kerbanon's description of The Kraken, a chaos demon that lives in space and boops large vehicles to pieces
>With this puzzle finally complete, the lazy nerds were convinced to start building a prototype:

>Fishbowl helmet provides immunity to booping
>Pressurized suit provides full body tickle resistance
>Textured hoofboots work in all terrain, finally our guards can stop slipping on the palace floors
>Armored kneecaps prevent scrapes
>Big flashlight
>Knife levitator allows cake cutting in even the worst conditions

>Preliminary testing has shown Anons are less prone to riot when the cake knife is present. Possible specieswide dependency on cake leads to desperation? More testing necessary.

>>42585577
I enjoy the implication that anons behave themselves because they think they are gonna get stabbed.

>>42586079
Cute honse

>>42584315
Based.

>>42586079
Filler filler filler

>>42586336
buckminster fillerine

>>42586679
Cadance is merciful, maybe he's only staring down a 5 minute timeout. Luna would make it 20 minute minimum.

pre bed fil

>>42587180
Pre-bed mare fills your bed, pre-bed fil fills your heart

>>42585082
Schoolfilly Anon. I'm sure he'll have fun in kinderschool.

>>42587802
>>42587922
Brutal

>>42587600
>>42588173
Punishing Rainbow Dash by telling her to refill the birdbath with the special birdbath bucket

>>42585274
>>42585503

>>42588610
>Combat petting
Think of the implications. No really, think of them because I'm too stupid.

>>42588774
>kinderquestria has better public transport than the us

>>42588952
tbf a medieval Slovakian village has better public transport than the US

>>42589360
>Booped so hard you picked her nose
pretty sure that counts as rape