>>82304315
hmmm...
I've been staying up late at night again when I should be sleeping. I spend most of the time visiting all the scenic views where I live, and I imagine what it would be like to have a lover by my side while I lurk. I'm still discontent with who I am, and I still feel frustration. I seem to feel it more than most. There's this role I want to fulfill, a role of being a man among men. I keep it as a goal, and most days I feel so far away from it that I feel foolish to keep it. However, in this goal, I see my salvation. I don't know what it will look like, but it will be there, at the peak of the mountain. Despite having a path, I still lament about the haves and have nots. I see others having what they seek without seeming to have worked as hard as I endeavor to. It's discouraging at times. It makes me question my goals. I don't know who I am. I don't exactly know what I want to be. I don't know if I'm right or wrong. All of these garbled, entangled, and desperate thoughts, all because of tfw no gf. I wish I could surgically remove that caustic sadness. Thanks for reading.