/erg/, I need your help. You specifically, all anecdotal accounts.

I keep starting new characters in Elden Ring and basically doing all of Limgrave before I think stupid shit like, "Hmm, what if I build a mage that ACTUALLY doesn't pump any str or dex, I'll have so many stats for INT! I'll just use the rapier!"
But right now I have 3 characters that I keep switching between.
1.) Bloodhound fang/twinblade/guardian spear fellow: gonna be STR 20 and DEX 60+, maybe faith
2.) Greataxe man: Hero, no dex at all, no greatsword (needs dex), big STR, using executioner's axe
3.) Monster Lancer: greatshields and counter-guards, using the lance

But since I keep bouncing between characters, I'll never beat the game so I want to know how you guys follow through with a character.
I want to beat this damn game but I want to interface with magic.
I also have a magic dude that's all the way through Liurnia but it's been well over a year since I played him.

In short, if I start over how do you build magic characters? I know how to use calculators and look up builds but when do you put points into certain stats? I keep putting VIG at 40 and calling it done until endgame when I'll pump it to 60, then if it's a heavy armor character I get END to 25 because that's "done" and then it's time to pump damage stats. but by now I'm level 55 and it feels slow to have like 20 str and start pumping faith or int. 10... 11... 12... woohoo 17!
Guess I'm not touching STR until it's at like 40!

tl;dr For those of you who beat the game multiple times how do you level melee + magic? one and one? Where do you stop for VIG and END? When do you continue?
Help me stop being an indecisive faggot.