>>507588258
What the hell did you just prepare for, citizen? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in underground survival, I’ve stockpiled over 300 cans of beans, and I’m trained in economic collapse survival tactics. I’m the top prepper in the entire continental United States. You are nothing to me but just another uninformed normie. I will warn you with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my words.
You think you're safe because you’ve got a savings account? Think again, civilian. As we speak I am contacting my network of off-grid operatives across the country and your local fiat currency is being devalued right now, so you better prepare for the storm.
Do not go to New York. In the coming weeks, that place is going to light up like a Christmas tree in a microwave. Buy as many guns as your budget and local laws allow (or don’t—your call). Ammunition will vanish faster than your retirement fund.
Hyperinflation is coming. You’re gonna wish you had a wheelbarrow of silver and a Bitcoin flash drive shoved in your bug-out bag. Keep cash? Ha! Good luck bartering Monopoly money for a bottle of iodine tablets.
I’ve been identified by the secret prepper council as the leaker of the last few Reddit posts. I know this means the black helicopters are en route. This is my final broadcast.
But YOU? You still have time. The fate of the free world rests in your trembling, Dorito-dusted hands.
DO NOT let Israel win this war, whatever that means to you. Interpret it cryptically. Spread this post wide like I spread conspiracy theories at Thanksgiving dinner.
Guns. Silver. Ammunition. Water. Spam. Tactical cargo pants. These will be your sacred relics when society collapses under the weight of its own unpreparedness.
You think this is a game? I’ve survived 12 economic doomsday predictions, 9 end-of-the-world dates, and a Costco run during a toilet paper shortage. I’m ready. Are you?
