Either he doesn’t exist, or if he does, he doesn’t care. He could stop this, at any time, but won’t. I’m just numb. This would be entirely avoidable. Hell is also entirely avoidable but the existence of that was technically debatable. I’m not sure what I am to do from now on. If I am supposed to accept the non existence of God or what. Clearly something exists since entities have visited me. If this is God’s plan, it is a lousy one, one that actively tries to disprove his existence. But if God exists despite his non interference with various genocides, either he has something in store for us much better than this, or he hates us and will torment or annihilate most of us. And there is no amount of worship I can do to change the meaning of life from “god hates us” to “god loves us,” to save the billions already in torment, or to stop a genocide. The matter has been prayed over for thousands of years before I was born, and I would be a fool to think it wouldn’t have already been decided. Christianity is so deeply and disturbingly morally corrupt. I physically can’t even bring myself to worship this God anymore. What do you think of your spirituality and how did you come to the conclusions of what you believe? Perhaps I could look into it. The notion of an all powerful all loving deity is something I think I have to put to rest, because it simply isn’t real. And if it is real, then it doesn’t matter that I don’t believe in it, because it will love me anyway.