I might just be having a tough day so don't take me too seriously. It might just be me being weak to pressure (the pressure to run a marathon as opposed to a sprint: a few pages per day, continuously). But right now I feel like I've forgotten why I enjoyed making manga 5 years ago, and as a kid when I made nonstop Pokemon nuzlocke comics and didn't think about quality and writing techniques (it's not like I do nowadays nonstop, but more than I did as a kid at least). Maybe the only reason I'm doing manga rn is because I don't want to work a normal 9 to 5 job. But maybe in reality all I want to be is a reader and viewer and gamer, and not a writer and not an artist. The big thing is I feel like I have no story I desperately need to tell. And I don't have enough of an ego (I purposely sort of trained myself to tone down my narcissism) to want to bare myself to an audience like I've seen with some creators (not you guys) who just treat manga or other narrative or art forms as ME ME ME ME ME (more common in the west). I guess TLOU2 is an okayish example? "We don't use fun to describe games" etc. there's better examples though like this one Westerner made a shoujo manga which is legit just the MC being a fucking whiny schizo bitch who is super pretty and hates when the world doesn't bend over for her and dates hot guys and the writer acts the same way IRL.

This is apropos to nothing I just have nowhere to post this. I plan on continuing my habits but it's just a bit sobering to realize I currently, (won't speak for future me) don't have an innate story I have a burning desire to tell. I am kind of egotistical though, I think that's because I have a higher bar for what is meaningful than perhaps some others might, and I just can accept that I don't have a meaningful story currently.