>>18190390
>be me
>going to the library to get a couple of books
>some sweaty smelly fat half naked bum crashes through the bookshelf
>dies right there on the spot
>shits, pisses, and throws up all over the books
>it's all like 20% blood
>another yardtard runs over and says "Don't worry, I'm a paramedic!"
>I wasn't worried
>he starts doing mouth to mouth in this blue bloated corpse
>he starts doing chest compressions
>shit and blood is squirt out with every push
>the fat rotting dead guy somehow gets back up
>a bunch of fat 5ft tall pink haired freaks in wrestling shirts who smell like they just shit themselves (because they did) waddle over
>they start chanting 'BOTH THESE GUYS! BOTH THESE GUYS!'
>now these guys keep fake fighting on the floor
>rolling around in all the shit, piss, and blood
>the dead guy does his finisher where he fakes putting his dick up the other guys asshole for a german suplex
>the munchkins go wild
>'FIGHT FOREVER! FIGHT FOREVER!'
>aubrey edwards sprints in from the parking lot to do 5 minutes of interpretive dance
>busts open three of the munchkins dramatically counting to three
>go home
>get a blood test
>I have every kind of hepatitis and 2 kinds of herpes
>didn't get any books