>exclusively self-insert in RPGs
>make character that looks like me and has similar skills to me
>act in game exactly how I would act
>always play blind, if I die it means I'm a failure that wouldn't survive in the game's universe
>only deaths that I "allow" are in the early game, caused by me not understanding game mechanics yet, since these would have been prevented irl
>cannot play any other way

Am I autistic? And if I die and reload, it feels like i am cheating.