>you called in sick to work once when you were actually hungover from the night before
>you have thirty seconds to twist your ankles off or you burn alive

I'd like to play a game, Anon.
For years, you've indulged in your degeneracy, hiding behind a screen, but never facing the consequences of your desires. Today, that changes.
You find yourself 5 inches inside An-94, while Ak-15 is 10 inches inside you. Neither path offers comfort, and both demand a price. Do you continue forwards, or backwards?
You have 60 seconds to decide your fate. If you do not choose by the end of the timer, you will be sentenced to 15 years in the Family chamber, and you do not want to know what goes on in the Family chamber. The clock is ticking.