“I, PHONYc the SUBPLANETARYhog, JOBBER of all fiction humbly kneel to:

Wally-sama, ultimate speed force user and my master.

CHADrio-sama, my one and only true love and other master.

Eggman-sama, who I shall never become faster than.

The End-sama, who my daddy's little girl warned me about.

Knuckles-sama, who got angry and KNOCKED the emeralds out of me, awakening my bisexuality.

Donkey Kong-sama, who MOLESTED Knuckles-sama to DEATH and successfully moved a moon out of its orbital position (I can't even crash through one in my super form without dying if I don't go fast enough...).

Bowser-sama, who MURDERED daddy Eggman-sama (who most of my feats chainscale to).

Mephiles-sama, who anally raped me and first awakened my wish to become an analslut sissy.

Kasen-sama, who will beat the shit out of me so hard I might start being attracted to femdom almost as much as I am attracted to men.

Giganto-sama, whose incomparabily forceful punches crushed my ass-womb entirely to the point I cannot bear CHADrio-sama's children anymore like I wished to.

Hulk-sama, whose indefinitely long beatings could give me uncontrollable orgasms so massive even the anal rape from CHADrio-sama wouldn't compare (I'd deliberately shit talk him throughout it all just so he could hit me harder...).

Ultima-sama, for I am NOT part of the equation required to beat him (I am so sad about it, as I would LOVE to have a taste of that COCKzilla...).

Chaos Emeralds-sama, as it is thanks to them that I am barely able to endure all sorts of abuse from half of these individuals (I WISH I was able to take them in base...).

SISSYza-sama, for he is able to do everything I can do through SHEER NATURAL STRENGTH and WOULD fuck ME up if I ever tried to threaten his daddies (God the idea is so tantalizing…)."