You know what. I think that's it for me. They finally, after all this time, all these fuckups... Have finally broken me. I don't care anymore. Halo is dead. It has been zombified, castrated, beaten, raped, hung by it's entrails and it's corpse paraded through the city. But today it died. 
A "from the ground up complete remake" of Halo and they're such fucking retarded hacks that they can't even make the game feel like Halo without borrowing code from 25 fucking years ago, from people with more talent in their pinkies than they do an entire studio. It's not just pathetic it's fucking sad. And it tells me everything I need to know: The captain is asleep at the wheel and not a single fucking person on the bridge even knows how the ship works.
I'm going to hook up my original Xbox to a CRT this weekend, and play Halo CE. Maybe I'll go on and play Halo 2. I'm going to drink a little, smoke a little, and firmly cement in my mind that these are things of the past that belong there. My memories of these games are memories of my childhood, and as we all know you can never go back... You can only visit. 
Fuck you 343, one final time. Burn in hell for what you've done.