>>939514174
Well part of what I mentioned is that I believe something in my childhood happened to make me feel this way. Yours seems more antisocial or lacking of emotions in general, no offense. What you described sounds like some serious trauma and as a result your brain shut down the capacity to feel strong emotions one way or another as a defense mechanism.
For me, my dad did stuff to me that I can remember almost like it was all in a dream, but it pops up too often for me to believe it was a dream. Just how my child brain remembers it happening. I also remember finding some very...specific type of websites on our home computer that my dad used to visit, back in the early 2000s when the internet was more wild west. Like nonude model websites on the clearnet that nobody batted an eye at, or 4chan threads that was blatant cheese pizza.
I think as a result I formed a very early opinion on porn and sex, at an age when I was probably too young to know right or wrong, and it numbed me to the worse things you'd see. I formed an attraction for lolis at a young age, very young when they were MY age. I thought that attraction was no big deal until one day I'm 18 and the girls I like looking at are half that age.
Thanks Dad. Crazy thing is you'd never expect it. I'm a well brought up productive member of society. I wouldn't call myself handsome, but I get laid easily enough. Good job, decent enough income, would never harm another soul or act on my thoughts. My dad is in a higher tax bracket than most people, very successful, nobody would believe me if I said he used to touch me as a kid. Shit happens I guess.
