Real life is gritty, boring, dull. It eats away at you, slowly piece by piece, till you are an empty shell of your former self. There is no dramatics, just a slow descent into the void. My life is colorless, lifeless, weeks blend together, life feels like a aimless wander on an infinite road with an overcast sky, I have nothing, I will live a meaningless life and then die, turn into nothing.

I wish this world of ours was different, I wish I could enjoy life.

>6'1
>Six pack
>Toned
>White
>Ugly face

Its the one thing I can't change, and yet its the most important feature. I was so close to perfection, but with this goblin face I have, it doesn't matter. None of these qualities matter when I look like an orc

Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I went to college, instead of to trades school filled with mostly men & a couple women nowhere near my age. Then going working that blue collar trade job filled with just older men.

I haven't talked to a woman my age in about 6 years, a man my age for 3. I'm not unattractive, I just wasn't ever a social person. Yet if I was in college filled with people my age, I could have found someone like me to relate to. Maybe I could have even found love.

But now I just spend my days alone, no friends, no nothing. but hey at least I got a job & the guys at work are funny and relaxed. Its not all so bad, though I think about suicide daily.