>>40929474
I'm sorry that you feel that way about yourself anon. I wish I could help you in the social regard, but I'm something of a recluse myself. Despite its reputation online, there's nothing wrong with joining a Discord for something you're passionate about to connect with people over similar interests (obscure forums or whatever also work).

Depression is a horrible affliction, and it takes a lot of time and effort to crawl out of. All I can say is that you can just take it one day at a time, take time to care for yourself and show yourself some love. Forgive yourself when you make a mistake or forget to do what you planned to. If you can forgive yourself and keep looking to the future, you'll make progress even if very slowly.

This is all I have left to say on the subject of your questioning. I really hope you can find yourself and be happy. Just know that the self you're seeking out has always been with you, and it isn't going anywhere. It'll patiently wait for the day when you can convey your feelings.