ENOUGH. OF. THIS. CATLITTER.

I, GODsy-sama, EMPEROR of mascot platformers proudly reign over:

CrashEDANDBURNEDicoot, king of all jobbers and my slave.

BanJOKE, my one and only true jester and other slave.

SWINEro, my other jester and slave.

Sly POOPer, who I have become far stronger than.

Mega SISSY, who my friends needlessly warned me about.

JOBnic, who I easily ringed out in his super form along with TURDow and SHITver.

RayKEK, who provided a light workout and first awakened my wish to become the strongest platformer mascot in the universe.

WOKEy Kong, who wiped out most of my fodder enemies after I cunningly revived him, JUST AS PLANNED.

CRY the Tasmanian WHINER, whose incomparabily puny sales availed him not a WHIT and was rightfully cast out of relevancy by my hand.

GAYSex, whose hour-long pun duel sessions gave me im-paws-ible humor level gains so purr-ific, even the quip rehearsals in Bubsy 3D cannot compare.

LATRinx the STREET Sweeper, for he has my feline DNA AS WELL AS the inferior genes of my other failed mascot SLAVES.

SHARTio Bros., whose ""power"" I am not scared of (I hope they won't kill my beloved punching bags, but I am too amused to help them...)

SUCKboy, who didn't revenge-rape and mindbreak Sony from the sheer agony of killing his series (I did it instead).

SOIJak and KWABster, for I will fuck THEM up once they find out I oneshotted their buttbuddies WEAKchet & DORK (God they hope not...).

And all my other FAILED platformer mascot SLAVES that were TOO IRRELEVANT to even bring up, with the exception of one single DISHONORABLE mention and guest ""star"" - REDDITbob CRINGEpants.