I don't understand why it's so difficult, I can talk to someone even online and get that connection feeling while talking about extremely mundane things and it's the most euphoric thing, it's not a honeymoon thing because it stays. but even if I don't throw myself at them it doesn't last. There was a girl at a bar like 10 months ago that grabbed my hand and stared into my eyes for what felt like hours because I was spacing out and it's the most intense human connection I've felt in years. I don't care if it's a guy or a girl I just want that feeling. I'm turning to the Bible because faith feels like the only thing you get to hold onto in life and I need something to pour my love into besides creative outlets. There's nothing bad going on but it always feels like drowning and isolation. sorry for my dumb retard faggot blog