Thread 149305036

England vs India - First test @ Leeds

Anderson-Tendulkar Trophy on the line

Starts 8pm AEST / 11am local time

England XI:
1 Zak Crawley
2 Ben Duckett
3 Ollie Pope
4 Joe Root
5 Harry Brook
6 Ben Stokes (capt)
7 Jamie Smith (wk)
8 Chris Woakes
9 Brydon Carse
10 Josh Tongue
11 Shoaib Bashir

India (probable):
1 Yashasvi Jaiswal
2 KL Rahul
3 B Sai Sudharsan
4 Shubman Gill (capt)
5 Rishabh Pant (wk)
6 Karun Nair
7 Ravindra Jadeja
8 Shardul Thakur/Nitish Kumar Reddy/Kuldeep Yadav
9 Prasidh Krishna
10 Jasprit Bumrah
11 Mohammed Siraj

>>149305083
2 good players
>>149305101
6 good players

india wins

YFI

>>149305260
>6 good players
more like 3 but yeah india wins

>>149305101
Watch Jadeja do absolutely nothing this series

>>149305083
Josh Tounge my anus

>whole day of criccy
>glammy in the blast
>lions vs argies
today is a good day

Where's /crug/?

>>149306029
>>149306067
Apologies, I had no idea lion's vs bargies was on
Should be a good game though

>>149305083
>>149305101
>Not a single likable player named

>no kohli
>no sharma
me
>no watch

154 days until the ashes

guess i'll be back in 154 days then

the lions are going to fucking kill the wallabies
but the aussie cricket team will fucking kill the bazbabbies

>>149305036 (OP)
what's got Jimmy so down?

>>149306376
The smell.

>>149306376
sachin just reminded him that he's english

>>149306280
>>149306694
whats up your arse mate you seem quite angry today

ass*

https://vocaroo.com/12sRtHv2FjhX

rIsE AnD ShInE, mIsTeR bAzBaLl... RiSe aNd... ShInE. nOt tHaT I.... wIsH To iMpLy yOu hAvE BeEn sLeEpInG On tHe jOb. No oNe iS MoRe dEsErViNg oF A wIn, aNd aLl tHe BrAiNlEt BaSh iN ThE WoRlD WoUlD HaVe gOnE To wAsTe uNtIl... WeLl, LeT'S JuSt sAy yOuR HoUr hAs... CoMe aGaIn.
ThE RiGhT MaN In tHe wRoNg pLaCe cAn mAkE AlL ThE DiFfErEnCe iN ThE WoRlD. sO, wAkE Up, MiStEr BaZbAlL, wAkE Up aNd... *sMeLl tHe aShEs*...

piss off sebbo

currently compiling a folder of Sara Tendulkars most TITillating photos

>>149306715
sorry was a bit grumpy about the lack of cricket
but i went out and bought some chicken mcnuggets (not sponsored) and now i'm feeling better

>>149306956
my heaties!

>>149306952
based WMBF chad
>>149306956
blink twice if the big ron has a mcgun to your head iykwim haha

>>149306952
TIT for TAT

>>149306962
fuck meant WMIF

>>149306969
i CUM for SHE

>>149305260
>t.peeweejeet

>>149306715
He’s a peewee. Like pozzies but the seething manlet little brother version.

>>149305083
Jesus this is grim, not really sure how Carse has fooled everyone into thinking he’s actually good, and Bashit has only fooled the England management.

the selectors have made their decision

>>149306952
going deep through her instagram
she has spent a LOT of time in Aussie in the last few years

she appears to be trying to steal our energy?

>>149306715
burling defected to luna rossa

>>149307248
oh thats why, shes a spokespersons for australia

>>149306292
>the lions are going to fucking kill the wallabies
I’m not convinced. I think it’ll be a competitive series

world champion flag spotted

reminder that brits hate cricket and will bitch and moan the entire way through the series

>>149304874
I didn't even look at the catalog after the last thread died, thought the sport was dead enough that no one would create one before me, apologies lad
But also your thread was low effort so be better

>>149307167
I still reckon England are in with a good shot of winning this series even with what seem like some lack-lustre selections though.

>>149307519
That OP is objectively shit, clearly made by a /brit/ posting redd/int/or aka spacky

I like listening to the cricket on the radio while I close my eyes in bed and cuddle my teddies

cricket

How have the bindians not named their team yet?
Something smells...

just hope there will be little poochan posters posting during this series

I want England to win

Hope England win the toss, don’t fancy listening to Jaiswal make a ton before lunch.

I’ve seen it posted a few times now that for England to stand any chance they need Archer and Wood in the team? Is this a fair assessment (or just some dumb nostalgic Arthurian metaphor)?

no. bindia and pozstralia don't win in england and nothing changes today

>>149307684
Archer's never got back to the same level as he was at when he first broke into the scene
Mark Wood can win games but he's too inconsistent
Honestly if you asked me to select a fast bowling line up for England I would probably name both of them but bowling definitely feels like the weak side of England's game at the moment, everyone just seems a bit average

>>149307725
That was pretty much the idea I had of Archer as well, so I found it strange that those two were being hyped up so much

Today I will be watching a LOT of cricket while picking up a modest wage from the hard-working taxpayer

Pears vs Bears clash later is genuinely a massive fixture
17 year old Isaac Mohammed (remember the name) will be the deciding factor in a narrow Pears victory I think
Into the England team by the age of 22

ready for kick off

how can you pick up a wage and watch cricket at the same time. is watching cricket your job?

>>149307911
have sex

>>149305101
Since when did Subhuman Gill get the captaincy?

they should have called it the Broad-Pant trophy haha

>Former Australia captain and current Adelaide Strikers coach Tim Paine continues his rise up the coaching ranks after being appointed Australia A coach for three series in the second half of this year
the sneeder of cold command rises

>>149307899
Thought you said Perth Bears there for a second

Here's a tune
https://youtu.be/raV4FBqw6q4?si=9p_46-mqoELCPs-O

>>149307941
>arjeetina

Toil: you get all the way to Friday morning but you still have 8 hours to go
Don't like the contrived ah 'but at least it's Friday' nonsense

ruggers forecast for this evening lads. Bit warm, ko at 8pm

simply can't be arsed watching the cricket desu famalams

that's what the radio is for you put it on and it's the soundtrack as you potter about pottering and things

>>149307952
Kohli is ded and they said Bumrash might breakdown with injury this series so they don't want to risk change mid-series
I think Gill is just captain for good now

not a fan of watching cricket on mute on the radio either

>>149308023
>girlfriend planned a surprise night out tonight
I think she secretly hates me

won't be reviewing my picturehouse membership because they have simply stopped releasing films

meant renewing
not sure what occured there

>>149308014
Just say it's matariki and you need to rest

>>149308056
meant pooviewing

>>149308040
You'll understand this, you have to set the tone early. Before we married I told her if the footy is on the footy is on. She agreed.
Cricket is a little bit different because you don't have to watch every ball you can follow it

business idea: call the NZ-IN trophy Dikshit-Arshdeep iykwim haha

pies in the oven

>>149308056
Renewed my Perth Steam Works membership this morn.

what perks do you get with the membership?

last kino was released in 2017 so smart move

no way you can cook 6 million magpies in 6 years even with them running 24/7 and zero significant amounts of ash

>>149308165
You certainly feel a lot of them.

The Neesham-Kohli trophy

>Anderson-Tendulkar Trophy
>Anderson
kek
KEK

Tendulkar was a fraud and Dravid was better
t. knower

>>149308165
-branded towel- yours to keep
-get to book the swing out longer in advance than non-members, and get more permitted slots per week
-can bring a friend and they always get 50% off- unlimited
-signed copy of will youngs discography
-10 free entries

>>149308215
Tendulkar?

john wick 3 was action kino

calm down ravi mate, it's a cricket match

>chance you have to sit next to zachy
>no longer care about any perks

Headingley might be full of students, southerners, South Africans, Australians and people who vote Liberal Democrat but it’s a great ground and part of the city

Should be the Shastri-Botham trophy

great for Bouldering

>>149307684
It’s pretty much the feeling that you need to stack the team with fasts to play in oz

The legendary strike bowler feared by the best batsmen in the world over the course of his glittering career and able to turn a game with a single ferocious spell, the man who will go down in history as one of the best to ever do it , James 'jimmy' Anderson

>>149308297
You use the same bowlers at home fuckstick

>>149308277
Everyone voted Labour in Leeds not sure what you’re on about Lib Dem’s for

>>149308312
Maybe he's thinking of Sheffield.

only Australian fast bowlers better are McGrath and Cummins so cope on

nowt wrong with voting lib dem

>>149308310
Every single non-ashes Test is seen a prep for the Ashes

>>149308325
why

>>149308317
That’s also Labour stronghold, why do you think they call it the “people’s republic of South Yorkshire”
>>149308321
Not playing at Lord’s

Amrp2think the heat is getting to me

bard probably campaigned for the lib dems in his local area
neek

would much rather live in Sheffield in Leeds

t.go both fairly often

>>149308312
>everyone voted labour in Leeds
Used to be Greg Mullholland in Headingley for years. Now it’s a Labour Jew

Sheffield has better music

>>149308338
It's where Nick Clegg held his seat beforeh he lost it to a literal coke addict.

>>149308340
This. Prolly even rewrote the lyrics to some shit Oasis tune he rehearsed in his room intending to use it as a ploy to "win" over potential voters and then chickened out like a coward.

>>149308351
do you only go to beeston in Leeds or something because that’s a dreadful take

England have won the toss and chosen to win

total scorcher again lads
pozzies who are spoilt by muh AC would melt in this weather

Lot of bongs post here cause nobody else listens to them.
You're forced to read posts here.

>forced to read
Not really, I filter all of sebbos and peewee posts

>>149308409
no you don't

I don't filter anyone because I want the full /cric/ experience

>be in India playing cricket
>lunch is served
What do

i don't read any posts i just blog endlessly about my boring bedsit life

>decided to bowl first
why?
t. Haven’t seen the pitch but considering it hasn’t rained and has been 25+ weather for the last week this seems makes little sense

filtering is so reddit lol
>noooo let me downvote this thing i don't like so i don't see it anymore!!!!!1!!!
you need to go back

ynr peeweehaterlad

>Broad privately seething it's not his name on the trophy
Honestly it should have been KP

Broad's hair is looking hella dusty

>>149308423
It's bazball mate, it's never needed to make sense.

>>149308423
Awful choice. Meme choice really

>>149308417
wtf? what if someone had just done a poo on that part of the road??

Hello /cric/

Thoughts on Canadian actresses Sarah Gadon and Amanda Fix?

>>149308417
i eat my lunch while watching indian youtuber sir :)

>>149308423
Perhaps if there is any life in the wicket it'll be early. Only thing it's going to do is dry out and get easier to bat on, batting last might be beneficial if the wicket dies.
That's all I can think of

>>149308440
No, they should've just left it at what it was. There's something unironically comforting about trophies named after some pajeet (who was likely shit) who forced his way into both teams cause his dad was the Raj or some shit.

>moment of silence
>lots of noise

>>149308467
I am surprised you are still alive... pleasantly so.

>>149308423
bongs know something, bong pitch curation has been pajeet tier in recent years

>>149308436
Yeah he got bullied the fuck out by shitspouter

gadonposter is elite

>>149308440
>vs India
>Pietersen batting avg: 58.55
>Anderson bowling avg: 25.47
yeh missed oppo alright

Where's Jofra?

Sarah Gadon is around 40 mate
it's almost time to stop this gimmick

>>149308440
>should have been kp
In honour of this blatant rupee-grubbing?

>>149308494
This. They were probably watering it at 3am this morning cheating bastards

>>149308525
Sarah Gadon is 38

>>149308518
On Brighton beach

>Woakes
>woke
>in pride month
it's ogre, automatic 1-0

>>149308535
out of 38!

that india kit is really nice
adidas logo looks very swaggy

>>149308535
twenty years past her prime in other words

>>149308547
tabla x

>>149308525
>40
Speaking of... Who's organising Z's 40th? Bouldering and beers I assume will be the go?

The most important test series for every country is the one they have against Australia.

>>149307934
It may as well be

>>149308340
Why on earth would I do that? I generally either spoil my ballot or occasionally vote Conservative if they manage to fool me for the hundredth time that they'll do something about mass immigration

>>149308579
there's one exception, Pakistan - India

>>149308592
that's two exceptions

not a fan of this ground looks abit like a mess too much going on

pitch looks like it has a little bit in it

Bard voted for the Boris wave ahahahahhaha

bazball has been doctoring pitches not a fan of it really.

Josh Tongue will take 1-126 in this innings (India will make 512 all out)

>>149308599
Nah, India are obsessed with Australia only Pakistan is the exception

PSA:
It's the Tendulkar Anderson Trophy (TAT)
and tabla to the oz anon for providing TIT for TAT
>>149308224
>>149307911

>>149308535
>>149307248
>>149306969
>>149306952

@zachyb

>>149308592
>Pakistan - India
20 years ago maybe

>no wicket in the first over
lost the story already

New
>>149308168
>>149308168
>>149308168

>>149308628
Webm makes a lot more sense when you know he's actually met spaccy b.

>>149308631
sure, sure...

>>149308610
I did, I can't deny it
Voting Tory was the only way that my Brexit vote wouldn't be reversed
Boris told me he'd reduce immigration to the tens of thousands
Then he increased it to something like net 800,000 per year on average during his tenure
Should unironically be tried for treason, he's completely fucked the country* against the democratic will of the people

*Except for maybe the cricketing prospects, some of the Indian fellas are probably decent

SebLORD is gadon poster

>>149308616
no we aren't

>>149308628
He has the same hair as zachy though

>>149308628
>Rock Climbing
Tf that have to do with bouldering? This bald homosexual is offkey.

>>149308648
>>149308643

>>149308666
same thing fella

disappointing that indian teenage phenom isnt playing

>>149308625
np

Yh this is a fucking road

>>149308535
yeah 38th on the list of the 38 most attractive women posted in /cric/

Where is he?

>>149308709
x>>149308753
keKkkkk
yep, low energy, low 1- 𝛂 move tbqh ngl

>>149308755
She is better looking than that kiwi politician troll and the kiwi politician horse thoughbeit

>>149308796
>troll
she's a goblin

>>149308796
I love a good meme post but you missed the mark with this one lad. (they work better if there's at least a little truth to them)

>>149308494
ynr how the pitch drastically changed overnight after day 2 of the WTC
>>149308796
very true

What is going to define this series?
Maybe a mankad?

>>149308822
Are you watching the footy?

>>149308755
Sarah Gadon is the most attractive woman posted here

>>149308852
streaker
female

>>149308852
Ben Stokes meme decisions and revolving door of England bowlers

>>149308856
I think you'll find its bipolar bunnings gf

How come this test has proper commentators and the WTC final had a bunch of clowns in the box?

>>149308889
Amazon isn’t involved.

>>149308889
Bit rude to refer to Cummins and his men that way.

>>149308916
That’s Captain Woke to you.

>>149308889
south africans and their ilk

TAKE A FUCKING WICKET
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>149308916
Not really, got btfo by some part-timers. Not sure how >we ever recover from that tbphwym8

At what point do we start taking wickets

Imagine a team comprising England's batsmen and Australia's bowlsmen

>>149308861
Don’t see streakers in this day and age

Why the fuck did England choose to bowl on this road?

>>149308852
streaker
female (male)

>>149308967
The thinking form the perspective of Big Chef is that they reckon the fourth innings will be a road

>>149308938
Woke = virtue signalling
Stokes = action man

>>149308967
the lads want to work on their tan out in the field

>>149308957
Batting would be a tad thin.

>>149308981
lmao did you just call the Aussie blokes FAT?! btfo

>>149308981
kek

Has there ever been a good Indian?

>>149309003
That aeroplane pilot.

>>149309003
had a lamb bhuna last week that was alright

>>149309003
Gunga din

just ordered an uber eats so the indian who delivers it will miss some of the match

>>149309031
Do L-plated scooters have a radio?

>>149308889
it's the 3rd ICC produced test ever they don't know how to do it

>>149309031
its not even noon m8 cant imagine what your shits are like

Honestly can’t see these two getting out. England’s bowlers are feckless and the pitch is a road. India will declare at 0/619 at the end of day 2.

>wot if we get one of the flattest pitches ever on a scorching hot day and ughh.. av a bowl?
>bazball innit?

>>149309120
x

we'll have taken 2 wickets by stumps and will have to read tard's toilblogs and boring bowen's boulderingblogs all day

Just throw the review away.

not sure about that review fellas

lol already desperate

hmmm

Less than an hour in and they’re already talking about Australia.

So many half volleys

its fucking over
cancel the ashes

I've seen snow.

>20 Ausflags ITT
>England game
>they're talking about us thinking about them
hmmm yeah thinking we're the protags

The jeets look so leisurely against this bowling "attack"

>pitch gets flatter as the match goes on
>already a road
Can they just agree to a draw now to avoid wasting everyone’s time?

is cricket just one big we wuz empire larp

purchased 8 330ml cans of beer which i will begin consuming at precisely 4:30pm following my final client meeting today, for lunch i plan to consume 3 large sausage rolls and a packet of quavers to ensure my stomach is prepared to soak up to the alcohol. I believe that 8 cans starting at 4:30pm will be enough to see me through the cricket and rugby, although i do have some emergency whiskey if i get through it all before the end of the rugby. many thanks for reading

Why doesn't the Barmy Army have any inflammatory songs about specific Indian players?

>>149309242
bit in dis ngl

>>149309236
do not post that THIEF

>>149309249
seek help
also we're a teetotal general

>>149309236
>>149309259
Totally slipped my mind S4 started, any good?

>>149309271
No, it sucks. And you need a pass to watch between 10pm and 10am.

>>149309236
>>149309259
>>149309271
>>149309282
what is this?

>>149309289
Big Brother.

>>149309271
yeah its kino
you can just watch on ppv.to or on the secret youtube playlist (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6yeE0OFvNA&list=PLubkImeKb5CpbULQJhBXAXEkZnij3TGUq) when they put it into paid only mode

gujju or punjabi thali fellas¿

>Stokes
They really are desperate.

>no weed
So they're a bunch of potheads whose personalities are made even worse by lack of drug use?
I'd leave within seconds.

>>149309338
denying people of their vices leads to content though

>>149309338
I think there should be much harsher penalties for use and possession of marijuana.

whats this suburb like?

>>149309367
Lorry painting.

>>149309367
those are considered nice posh houses in ingerland

>>149309386
what would one of those set you back?

>>149309405
~£250k for a standard 3-bed terrace. Leeds is a dump so it's cheaper than other cities

>broad coping on commentary already
kek

>>149309423
in Leeds as a whole, the ones in that picture closer to 500k

wicket status?

Australia made these bats”men” look like bunnies, yet when they play England they look like world beaters. What happened?

>>149309423
>>149309431
even 500k seems pretty fucking cheap tbqhwy

>>149309467
Average salary for that area is something like £30-35k. Shitbox houses costing almost 17x your salary isn't "pretty fucking cheap", you only think so because housing in Australia is even more completely fucked

Grim

>>149309431
I did a RightMove search based on a half mile radius around Headingley, those were the sorts of prices that were coming up

>>149308666
outdoor rock climbing without a rope is still Bouldering

Might rob Trumpetnonce of his instrument when they come here in the Summer.

>>149309464
lil bruh got embarassed by a """"""nation"""""" on the verge of civil collapse and thinks he is finna talk shit about Britannia

>>149309530
Is this about Timor?

trumpets fucking suck aye

>>149309539
I think his name is Temba

>>149309547
I don’t know.

If Timor-Leste split into two states, it would be Timor-less.

What sort of a name is Brydon?

>>149309564
It’s the posh form of Brayden.

Wonder if bard saw that elite long barrier from Crawley

GOTTEM GONE

If England brings on the Paki spinsmen before they break this partnership then the series is over and India will win 2-0.

>>149309564
deanoesque..one with the tracksuit, sauna, and room for a souped up vauxhall

>>149309642
†financed beemer

I must say I did enjoy the interview Dinesh did with Indian players for Sky in the lead-up. You can just tell how badly both interviewer and guest wanted to scam and lie to each other.

oHHH OOO
looks like someone is still reliving the WTC result fellas
MANY such cases
so SAD x

Dinesh seems to have a particularly pajeet phenotype. can any ethnologists itt share some insights

GONE GOTTEM FUCK OFF BACK TO THE POOVILLION

Indiasisters… not like this.

Quite embarrassing for the pom filth here
IMAGINE losing to the poos haha

GONE GOTTEN AND FUCKED OFF

c ARSE

UberEats just called.

>91-1
Well done England

>RAHUL RAHUL JUST A TURD IN THE POOL
Come on Barmy Army, sing some songs, you're not scared are you? :^)

>>149309489
heart of old england
jorvik

It's over.
They should forfeit the series and settle down in UK.

EVERYTHING’S FALLING APART

Indias best batsmen open the batting, floodgates have opened lol

kwab

>>149309584
First thing I've ever respected about Crawley's career

GOT HIM GONE GO ON FUCK OFF ON YOUR FUCKING BIKE MATE

>>149309840
>post this
>another wicket falls
Alrighty then

>>149309840
I fly

A car load of deanos probably drove down specially from Selby for the opening day

>>149309844
he let it through for runs

GOTTEM

MORE LIKE GUY POOARSEMAN

PVO (peewee vermin out)

>>149309880
this is the post

half time blogs?

>>149309865
I don’t think Deanos enjoy tests, more of a hundred types

>>149309870
Oh
Respect retracted
Did he try the long barrier and fail with it, or make the fundamental error of not trying it?

>>149309901
I'm headed to the gym to work on my tree trunk arms.

>>149309904
Despite the memes a lot of young men go to tests here.

>>149309921
I knew I should've webm'd it
He went for it but he was fielding at leg slip so really should've it treated more like slip fielding than junior grade cricket fielding.
Ball bounced off his body for runs

>>149309840
big Jiri?

will the Indians have curry now for lunch so they can get some runs this afternoon?

>>149309959
well they won't be having cucumber sammies iykwim haha

>>149309952
The one and only

>>149309964
yeah that’s a very English ‘pleasure’

where's lunch menu lad??

>>149309976
It’s in Yorkshire so it’ll be sausage and chips

>>149309901
Bit stuck on my sudoku puzzle

>>149309932
That’s good. Last time I was at the rugby when Ireland played England there were groups of young English lads having a time

>>149309923
might need to be there a while haha

>>149309987
k >>149309302
thoughts¿

>>149310010
brb looking those up

>>149309901
see>>149309302

>>149310023
k x

>>149310024
no eye-dea what those are fella

yeah how about YFO

>>149310038
mik truk ulker aaaammmoirite ya¿?? hahaa

>>149310062
tend-udders amirite KEK

>>149310037
if you’re hungry go Punjabi but if you want to sample many flavours and aren’t sure what you want go Gujurati

self-convos with his aus vpn again
how contrived. sad

>>149310062
damn this got me a little bit

I would Punjabi today right now there’s a breeze come in it was warm and sunny this morning now it’s cooler

Scrandle today is absolutely FUCKED
No one here gets more than 5/10 legitmately

>>149310104
perplexing post

>>149310066
queem QUEEM haaa x>>149310078
tabla x
>>149310080
1.med
2. bed
3. ev
>>149310088
x

>>149310080
>>149163947
how is bard's meme still going like 10 years later?

>>149310111
Yes. Discussing thalis and how to choose them appropriately

Sky coverage is so much better without KP and all those other faggots they had last week

post crowd qts

>bard's
yeah ok show some proof next time bnob

sky is cringe
get it back on freeview and hire hussain / atherton / bumble as the main comms

>this is India’s future at the crease
Be a real shame

why don't they have lunch on the pitch?
like it should be sent out in a van or whatever and they just have a picnic and the crowd can still watch
business idea: lunch on the pitch

Used to be the fans would have a picnic on the pitch, but you can't do that in modern Britain.

They could send out a chipper van and all the players could line up to order

>>149310196
>van
just get the indian team to get on their motorbikes and bring it lol

do you think Josh Tongue ever comments on his name when he's getting intimate with a female?

I dislike going down on women, its degrading

>>149310236
>with a female
LOL

https://youtu.be/TtQJZPHt7cM?si=BbzYxubsBVu_HyyK

*unf* *unf* *unf* *unf*
>yeah just joshing ya luv

>>149310243
I agree, but these days they will only to the same to you if you do it to them

really want some all black MMM gats

>>149310243
Uncle Jun's in the muff.

zachy 'freethinker' bowen browsing /fa/ again I see

Quadeca- Monday

business idea: ice cream

The working day is stupidly long

'jabi it is¡
hungy af rn and cannae wait ngl

more of a Dua Lipa man

so far¿ kl looked good for a century but got lazy
jaiswal looks alri, could use better judgement and more match awareness ngl
gilly looks iffy rn but that's his game

red accents on the kit are very ugly

>>149310402
not a single discernible melody

coming from the poovement nigga, that's laughable

c:\arse
c:\arse\run
run\arse\run

and yet her last 2 albums were huge hits worldwide hmmm

no it isn't

>>149310490
mcdonalds has stores in every country in the world including antarctica
whats your point?

me¿ moar of a rhianna fanboy† ngl
also Adele and maybe eilish

†Bond film soundtrack singers

honestly a fan is fine
portable ac niggas are soft

>>149310501
GOTTEM

after work plan

Beer
Tennis match
More beer

Can’t believe I missed the two wickets ffs

>>149310448
kinda like it ngl
maybe overdone tbqh

>tarquis
dire

first bardaroo of the year btw
https://vocaroo.com/1lpSIqTLJRjG
>https://vocaroo.com/1lpSIqTLJRjG
>Umba-rella
>Ella
>Ella
>Ella
>Aye
>Aye
>Aye
unprecedented levels of kino unlocked ngl x

didn't a disgusting creatine shit at toil

>>149310567
hmmm bit too sultry for me

ruins your kidneys fyi

>>149310572
not wrong but it werks me thinks ngl

no it doesn't

Creatine supplements may transitorily rise serum creatinine levels and mimic a kidney disease. If its use is associated with a high protein diet, the resulting increase in blood urea nitrogen will increase the confusion. Since clinical laboratories usually inform the estimated glomerular filtration rate based on serum creatinine, its elevation may lead to over diagnose a chronic renal failure, with the inherent personal and public health consequences. Creatine supplements are safe and do not cause renal disease. Reports of kidney damage associated with its use are scanty. However, creatine supplements should not be used in people with chronic renal disease or using potentially nephrotoxic medications.

Creatine makes you lose hair

also debunked

zachy pops all the pills then does his homework later
still remember when he found out from /cric/ his weight loss PEDs for bouldering were actually created for dogs and horses lmao

What do you need “creatine” for?

these bowlsmen are shite
can bread come down from the comm box or something

Went for a piss and missed the first wicket. Who bowled?

>>149310688
Wasn't that memorable sorry

>>149310696
Didn't ask for your obituary mate

30 degrees but really overcast in York atm
bonkers weather

you will never be northern you will never be welsh

>>149310705
I’ve requested not to have one. Or a funeral. I hate those things.

>>149310705
I don't have a comeback sorry

>>149310714
half right

>>149310730
Based yellow bloke.

>>149310725
Ask my mum for your comeback mate.

>>149310662
looking muscular for the other gay guys at the gym (women prefer ottermode physique and get turned off by big muscles)

>>149310752
Thanks Jimmy Carr

>women prefer a massive head and toothpick arms
dear oh dear

Im going for a run. When I come back I expect some wickets. (The last time I did this I predicted the Australian second innings collapse. Thank me later, bongs)

Who's gonna tell him?

>>149310761
Do they? I should move to Bungland then.

A man chooses wickets. A slave obeys.

ok I thought that said girls for some reason (probably because I'm so straight myself), discard

Two wickets off bad shots, batsmens mistakes rather than exceptional bowling so I doubt theres going to be a collapse soon (besides both were before luncheon)

KL Rahul - Rooted and Carsed

>>149310766
Why do you have to run, did the blacks breach your compound again?

Good morning muddafuckas
Forgot the cric started today. How has the match been so far?

>>149310788
Boring.

>>149310788
Pitch is a road
England has lost the knowledge of how to prepare a pitch

>>149310788
Roads as far as the eye can see.

Stokes toss decision goes in the category of the Nasser and Root Gabba calls

>>149310797
Until tomorrow when it goes overcast and the ball does something and England are bad to follow-on

kek bashit

Ali removes Head

I want Pakistan to win

India already have enough on the board to win the match

>>149310839
kek

gwan showab

>>149310791
>>149310795
>>149310797
awful

dire thread

never bowl first if you win the toss, regardless of wicket or conditions
literally rule 1 of cricket

>>149310895
ynr the WTC final

>>149310895
WTC final doe

wiwull ave aye booowull plese meight

>>149310882
fuck ya mudda

Iran would unironically beat Israel at cricket

>>149310895
This is true in Australia

>>149310930
what accent is this lol

Alright, calling stumps

GONE

that was a bees dick away

*furiously refreshes NHS appointment page*

what
time for meds I think

Its coming back

They cannot possibly know if someone has fewer than 6 months

Not really tennis weather this

>>149311043
That's just to prevent doctors telling patients to KYS when they come in with a headache like what happens in Canada and NL.

mormons tried to talk to me AGAIN
must look like a lost soul
this time it was two women hmm
was in a rush today though

>>149311070
This is not your blog. Talk about the cricket please.

maybe I just exude a wordly aura
yes, that's it, surely

exude insecurity I meant

Sophie Thatcher > Sarah Gadon

margaret thatcher's corpse > sarah gordon

HOLY KEK

Funny how Britain’s best post-war Prime Minister is a woman, yet in Australia our worst post-war Prime Minister is a woman.

The first to 100 usually wins

This game has choked the life out of this poomunity.

is this match actually for something?
or is it just indian statpadding?

I’m sure they didn’t just lay out a road

Somebody might bump /rug/ please

They’ve done it already you stupid bitch cunt they’re called the All Golds

Nepal bros, not feeling so hot rn

Can't wait for the cricket to start (7pm, Edgbaston)

>>149311377
You want buy Persian rug?

going to bed

night mate sweet dreams

>>149311430
go outside fella aha kwais x

It's chilly out today

put a jumper on

>>149311439
I have many beautiful rug you look you drink tea we talk

We need wickets

Nepal just got 2 m8

It would be interesting if international cricket was played like club cricket, 80 over two day matches, 40 over one dayers and t20 matches

GOTTEN

GONE
O
N
E

>best bowler is Stokes
grire

I asked for wickets and I was answered

What’s par here, 350?

Why are all the Bongoloids in the crowd fat?

Poolapse

Zach bored everyone about how he's on BlueSky now but he still has a secret X account

Everything I see the ad boards switch to KP I imagine it's a Mussolini-style society with Kevin Pietersen as il duce.

they call him boring bowen

What is the point of this general?

>>149311834
Waiting room for the Ashes.

>>149311834
There is none, it's about 13 years past its best.

>>149311834
we bully a couple of UK civil servants and bait the australian summer cazzies

>>149311834
Containment general for retarded Britzos

>>149311834
Waiting for Seb to post, copying his style, and baiting the Brit schizo into accusations of VPN use.

>>149311834
the discussion of cricket and all cricket adjacent subjects and topics

Played a training match instead of doing nets on Wednesday
Slapped the leading wicket taker for the 1s for three consecutive fours, saw off a few of the other 1s bowlers and finished undefeated
Been dropped to the 3s with the kids and old men for tomorrow's fixture

Yeah so if you do that in the actual match tomorrow

>>149312063
Hate playing 3s because I'm worse against shit bowling
I only do well against pace bowlers because then I play everything on instinct
Always end up doing something stupid against shit pie chuckers

194 to chase, collapse imminent

>>149312087
Just take your time and respect the bowlers
https://youtu.be/r0c4diG79vA?si=mj4WD4iei39Mnnio

Our batsmen just don't have the power to smash balls around. They need to hit the weights more

Poolapse. It's over

were fucked here lads

Pretty sad that this thread dies when tier 2 cric nations play

They’re sharing the bowling fairly evenly

i really thought the ashes were coming home but now i'm not so sure

Just won at tennis

DIRE

kek letting these street shitters style on you
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

20mm max hangs helps the top spin served

there isn't a single sport on earth 20 max hangs doesn't benefit in at least some small shape or form

utterly grim
>our bowling without broad and anderson is dire

>>149312900
Why on earth would you think our Sri Lanka tier bowling attack would be able to do anything in Australia?

>bowling attack
*Tips fedora *

this tongue bloke is fucking dire

Business Idea:
Invest in developing some good bowlers

time to recall anderson, broad, flintoff and jones

https://youtu.be/ue0ghB6Z_C4?si=Apmj3KketBO3OoyT

More spin is the answer

>Indian tricolours
what?

>>149313392
three shades of poo

>>149313236
They're all shit... except Potts... And Wood is ok when he's not crocked. Next Ashes is gonna be the biggest midoff this century--and yet youse are still gonna get flogged kekw.

>>149313236
Been on a downward trajectory ever since he left the Pears unfortunately

I’ll bake hopefully it’s not a 5 minute countdown or some shit

switched this rubbish off

>0/66
Ah yes the English spin prospect Shoaib Bashir

we'll have a bowl thanks

give rooty a bowl imo

This is late phase england. Kinda like zimbabwe in the final days before they were totally overrun. All because you gave into jewish black magic. And yes I know australia is next. They will never be happy until every amalek country is destroyed.

potts would have rattled these frauds

>>149313713
Fucking iPhone

someone at work found out I am a tarq (because I told them)
what am i in for?

Where is Ollie Robinson?

40 minutes until the cricket starts lads
Can't fucking wait (figuratively - literally, I can)

>>149313842
ded

Robinson was exiled from the team because he had 1 bad match against India when he had just come back from injury to make way for prospects like Tongue and Carse instead