Day 1, 1st Test, Headingley

India 3/331,
new ball introduced late afternoon slow over rate crowd getting rowdy

England won the toss

>>149313713 (OP)

grimglish cucket

Where is Ollie Robinson??

They’re going to be 6 or 7 overs short today with the extra 30minutes

what we drinking tonight lads
>inb4 tee total general
nah just you mate

Not watching, did bongs curate a no bouncer for spazball?

I still don’t understand why there’s no northsex, nussex or whatever

>>149313925
It’s a bit flat but mostly bowling skill issues

ffs haven’t seen the score since about 2 o’clock. Absolute twat Stokes.

A tonk of disrespect to your slow rate and your pedestrian effort

>>149313760
Should have picked Little Chef and Dawson.

and not have sent the Bindians into bay on a road. All the commentators are too cowardly to call the shit decision shit.

>>149313896
ale

>>149313896
Why does spacky claim to be teetotal and then every Friday get drunk and make rambling posts here.

>>149313896
bouldering

you'd think Llandudno hotels would be cheaper than they are

should unironically be moving in two more weeks I reckon

>two more weeks
to flatten the curve

I deserve a fresh new pair of Maison Martin Margiela GATS

Sofa King We Todd Ed

https://youtu.be/_QcUIeAFG8I?si=ZDKWQxuoCUsEqA2L

>>149314109
JFC Colly looks ded.

ear buds are so fucking shit
making do tonight because I dropped my cans

Potts got absolutely demolished a couple of nights by a 17 year old that the Pears put out for a bit of banter
The guy's a fraud

Wonder what the national record for being approached by Mormons is
I am surely up there by now

Probably something ridiculous like 11
I'm around half that

A humble request for /cric/ to lend their support to the Pears this evening

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lssbmuMNS2g

just look like a lovely, approachable bloke
don't look like a lost soul at all, nope, definitely not

Isaac Mohammed
Kashif Ali
Two born and bred Worcestershire lads opening up

>>149314529
don't watch limited overs nonsense sorry dear bro

If You Could Save Yourself (You'd Save Us All)
@certain man

Isaac Mohammed is literally the best cricketer of all time
Screengrab this post for a multigenerational talent

screengrab deez nuts champ

Just got called a humble IT engineer on Bears TV

mental weather in North Yorkshire tomorrow
Basically sunny in the morning then really overcast later
Leeds doesn't necessarily follow the rules of North yorkshire
But still weird decision to bowl first imo
As it's clear today and really cloudy/on the verge of raining in yorkshire from about 3pm onwards
Pitch looks flat anyway, why bowl first here with that shit bowling
Don't get it

*as it's clear tomorrow
retarded decision to bowl first desu
the Indians were saying they would have to weren't they
dont get it

>we'll have a bowl, thanks

in other words
it's going to be really overcast, generally, all weekend in Yorkshire
today was the clear day, relatively speaking
absolutely retarded decision

Mohammed just been bowled by a shit full toss
Guy is useless

Libby out second ball falling over as he tried to cover drive
It's all over for the plucky Pears

For me
It's good honest, humble work, over a made-up Tarq ghost position
The harder you (((climb))), the harder you fall

>>149314931
>>149315018
Oh yeah?

/rug/ in 30 minutes bros don't forget to migrate

Kashif out with an absolutely absurd played on
This is a farce

someone at work found out I am a semi -tarq (because I told them)
what am i in for?
2nd time he probed
I just thought why not tell him, not like I want to sit next to him forever anyway, in that particular grey box

It really doesn't matter imo
Nothingburger

>>149315110
Are Wales playing?
Otherwise shall not be brawd

>>149315241
n-no but i'm drinking welsh beer >>149315275

I believe in metaphysical consolation
Any natural wealth I get is compensation for the pure efforts I go to every single day, and the routine I stick to, without getting fuck all back except in terms of the aforementioned

>>149315397
based
some good ales out there isn't there

Fuck's sake, that's another absurd wicket
Someone needs to just stay in for the Pears here

Bard, watch the rugby and order a steak

huge Iranian strikes hits Israel
xi is shipping in unlimited missiles let's be honest
that's why trump is thinking again
Doesn't want Ukraine 2.0

Imagine if you were bouldering in Sheffield
And nuclear war happened over Iran
And you just burned to death instantly
It would be a bit like Threads (1984) except more middle class

>>149315451
brains SA is always my go to in cardiff

imagine if the climbing works got nuked
I don't think I would get over that
Even if was dead
Lol

>>149315810
so get in my lad

1 welshman starting for the lions
depressing

3 ghost ships
And 2 tiny rebels as a homage to my father land for me

>>149316619
based which tiny rebs you on

the red one dear bro

one of my favourite albums this...

https://youtu.be/Me5rq_I4KP0?si=Yc4eURrufl8JRg-U

they released one album, went on tour, had a fight on stage and quit music...

now I'm curious who cuts their hair

https://youtu.be/RDp61U9zTj0?si=sG8lBnzxyFTq00_g

Banger

zachy falling for the industry plant son of a (((Harvard)) professor I see
can read that toothpick armed tarq like a book

Anyone watching the highlights

Stokes is a bit retarded

kinda timely
https://youtu.be/dseLaYjKGzk

>>149317461
>>149317652
corrr you figured out who cut their hair using a link to another /cric/ approved band
based

>lions getting dicked
>>149317856

Wonder what the 20mm max hang equivalent of my grandfathers wealth is

>>149315587
I'm a humble vegetarian and not tarqy enough to enjoy ruggers

If you aren't consuming creatine as a vegetarian you are genuinely retarded

>i'm a humble vegetarian
if you don't eat at least one sausage roll a week you are gay

'jabi thali was delish ngl
english lions??....moar liek englel PUSSIES aAAAAammmoirite¿ ya?? haaa...alri...'chabin bla x

Glad to see based China has prevented another war by shipping Iran unlimited missiles
>Do something, still win anyway

god piss off sebbo you fucking idiot

God I wish I was Chinese

>>149318041
>humble vegetarian
BBBBBBAASED
soime fella
had a Punjabi thali today for lunch ngl x

I'm incredibly depressed
Possibly the most depressed person in human history

>>149315617
YYYYUUUGEE if true ngl
got any proofs fella¿

>>149319021
i feel you mate
posting this picture for you

>>149319172
Because its happening
They have literally unlimited ammo from China
Israel are stupid

>>149317905
i'd dick the lionesses iykwim haha

>>149319021
unferrously¿ grab a digging bar, go outside and dig a few holes. then plant some trees fella
would do you and the world some good ngl x

>huge Iranian strikes hit Israel
>huge Iranian strikes hit Israel
>huge Iranian strikes hit Israel

>>149318298
but enough about America and the Iran-Contra Scandal

>>149317561
finna boutta

If only he was alive to see it

>>149320129

>curate dead wicket for spazball
>hope the other team fucks up batting
>if they don't play for a draw
top kek

I've only just seen the score
seriously, why the FUCK did we bowl first? why do they keep pushing this meme? is it some bazball ego thing again? ffs

>>149320156
don't need unathletic welsh genetics in any sport thank you, not least cricket
the mighty robert croft and the great geriant jones wow thanks for your contribution to the England (and Wales) Cricket Team lads. fucking useless

>>149320616
geraint jones is papua new Guinian mate

>we’ll have a bowl thanks
>we’ll lose a warmup test against a minnow at home please
Absolute state of British sports

Bloody good finish in the Pears vs Bears game desu
Would have snatched an undeserved win if Taylor's throw for the run out was just a couple of inches closer
Such is life

Genuinely can't think of one famous Welsh climber they simply must just not exist

so sad to see a man of bard's intellect lower himself to t20 shite
been going on for 2-3 years now as well so it's not some little phase

>a man of bards intellect
lol
That fat neek is not an intellectual

>>149320798
Longer than that desu
You must have missed by ecstasy in 2018 and agony in 2019
Support the Pears in every format - always have, always will, simple as

millennials are turning 40 lads
it's joever

Bard is a neek
His intrusive, and intrinsic fibre unironically supports the (((8 hour working day)))
When I am in charge, I won't hang that neek on the spot, but I will be close to doing it

>>149320581
jeets will chase down 900 on this road

Is there a good fire stick app I can use to get streams please?

zachy for PM desu
imagine the bouldering talent once he makes it mandatory in schools

This is what Stephen Fry had to say to the victims of sexual abuse:

“It’s a great shame and we’re all very sorry that your uncle touched you in that nasty place – you get some of my sympathy – but your self pity gets none of my sympathy,” he continued. “Self pity is the ugliest emotion in humanity. Get rid of it, because no one’s going to like you if you feel sorry for yourself. The irony is we’ll feel sorry for you, if you stop feeling sorry for yourself. Just grow up.”

I feel like admitting something to /cric/ which I've been keeping hidden from you but I probably won't

China are supplying unlimited missiles to Iran to make the yank war machine think again

>>149321022
Why don't you just chuck a hdmi cable from your laptop or pc to the telly g unit

>>149319675
>>149317561
just finished
>dat Josh Tongue on-field running
keKkkkk
it's pure entertainment ngl

The chinese have infinite ammo
You will never stand up to this

>>149321223
>no proofs.webm.tar.bz2.ace.arj.zip.7z

king kongstas beat this team single handedly

kid got spunk, I'll give him that
talent¿ it's 404 on that front fella

>ynr downloading le trou lad
>ynr peeweebackpacklad
>yrn peeweehaterlad
>ynr dollcunt
>ynr poosh

...yh

never been a cricketer called Josh who passed the eye test

>tfw no anglo-swiss tarq mum to bail me out after being stuck in a bedsit on my laptop thumbing civil servant job
mad how life is all decided based on when and where you're born

I unironically trust the Chinese to not start retarded yank wars for Israel
World peace looms

Xi JIPING should have taken back Taiwan already
The Peoples Liberation Army is about to move in

>>149313896
>just you mate
except it's not
drinking became reddit around 2020 and there's lots of teetotal chads on here

>imm not the only neek I swear
literally nobody cares you fat neek

dumb alchy

Isreal is getting fucked up by big strong Iran

Threw up all over myself in an Irish bar in Prague last weekend and had to be sent back to the hotel in a taxi

Iran weren't lying
Holy fucking shit
Absolute balls

my drink was spiked last night, I passed out and woke up with boulderers jaw

The Persian lion raws in the face of Dick real

>>149322168
>>149322007
>>149321958
>>149321790
>>149321734
>>149321327
>>149321223
>>149320909
>>149319425
>>149318480

settle petal x

where are you following this zachy?

[2]

>we'll have a baz mate
Stokes' Nasser moment.

Women are genuinely awful
Sexual mediators that led us to this hell we know earth
Unable to find anything attractive unless Hollywood told them to

>>149321796
this but to be fair my qualm is more with social drinking than anti-social drinking
if you're drinking yourself to sleep then whatever do what you need to, but social drinking is very uncool
lot of normies haven't caught on yet but gen z has and gen alpha will drink even less

Iran have some balls

>>149322543
Yeah but they’re nice to look at and they smell nice and they’re not always awful

Not pretty what is happening in tel aviv right now
Imagine siding with yanks

they aren't nice to look at
the earth is going to shit because of their dire sexual selection skills

>Virat Kohli is understood to enjoy the relative anonymity he has in London, where he can ride on the tube
poobros he abandoned our shithole

>>149322848
>still does everything possible to be noticed
God, go spend some time with your wife and kids Virat

>haha oh yess,,,, they are believing things that are not true,,,,, they deserve to be krushed by boot,, mmmm buttered naan

the maddest thing about this is you’re seeing a literal rogue nuclear state attacking another state for allegedly building nukes whilst committing a genocide whilst calling any criticism directed against it as tantamount to genocide whilst claiming to be this bastion of western liberal values and democracy whilst being a literal pariah apartheid state, not that Iran are the good guys either but they’re better than ISIS

>>149322848
Honestly I wouldn’t recognise him at the shops

>>149323000
the shops usually has someone looking like him behind the counter.

>>149323015
Not by me they don’t. We’ve got an Indian takeaway down the road and there’s a good Pakistani restaurant not far and that’s it the only other subcontinentals I’ve ever seen are some of the delivery guys and one pretty lady who has come by twice in the past couple months trying to sell me gas or electricity, I told her we don’t need any of that stuff

I think they’ve mostly either come over here from England or Scotland to do the restaurant stuff, at least in the beginning then some cousins come and so on, or else students who’ve stayed. Weirdly there’s some kind of Hindu garden down in Wicklow but it’s not like there’s any significant minority population there or anything, it could’ve even been some Irish people becoming Hindus idk

>muh isis

>england vs india
No more brother wars

>>149323462
ISIS have never attacked Israel
quite the coincidence really

>>149323462
Hmmm

>math
FOY

>Iran says still open to diplomacy, Israel vows continued attacks
no way

>just give up power bro
>we need the globohomo regime in place bro
>everything will be ok then bro

dont care about politics or news unless it's something funny that makes me go haha

what are they cooking over there in maharashtra?

maharashtra rain coats iykwim haha

maharishi raincoat weather in Yorkshire from 3pm onwards

tacky

>jeet jacket

>tacky
*Tips fedora*

>>149329149
this but maharishi sunak rainboat weather at 10 downing iykwim haha

Going redcar
Anything to escape this Wendys loving city on a Saturday

VGH

why are all the poms up so early

I don't sleep that well at the weekend generally
Too much zest for life

>>149329361
friday boozing and hot sticky nights is a not a recipe for a sleep in

>>149329382
>>149329425
booze is not good for sleep. not good for life!

it's not but
I stick to a rigorous routine during the week
Nobody really knows what sleep does anyway, all a bit of a mystery

Reckon it generally serves more psychological benefits than anything purely physical-dreams are a sort of unclogging
But physical wounds actually heal faster while you are awake than asleep, which is quite contrary to commonly hold conceptions
Being sleep deprived over a long course of time isn't good obviously

reckon it's just the longer days and body's not coping well
moment the sun creeps through the blinds i'm wide awake

>>149329554
you get up too early david goggins

for me it's because I'm on the verge of dying of heat exhaustion, high up in this HMO that I am sure I will finally be moving out of in a mere
>Two more weeks

>>149329574
applied for a portable AC yet mate

Genuinely might look into it
I'm buying a ground floor flat though so it shouldn't be as bad as this
Heat travels up and that

>Heat travels up and that
is this even true
Might be a factoid desu

Conquer "Thigh Guy Summer" With the Paul Mescal Guide to Wearing Short Shorts

toasting up some crumpets

don't take any of zachy's political opinions seriously after he came out as a Sunak bummer

>Vaughan 'staggered' by England's bowl-first decision as India dominate at Headingley
>Stokes said after winning the toss that his side would "look to use the early conditions", and England's bowling consultant Tim Southee said at the close that they had seen enough in the pitch - "a little bit of moisture" - to think that the new ball would move around
getting a bit tired of all these peewee inside men sabotaging the team desu

only way to win is to not participate

didn't vote obviously but sunak honestly destroyed keir in the debate they had
just seemed about twenty IQ points higher or so
keir is just toothless, ultimate example of a flaccid talking head nowadays, used to be semi interesting when he was at uni perhaps but has completely sold out now

and sunak didn't sell out to the wef sure champ

where did I say he didn't
Australian IQ on display chaps

Wonder if there will be somewhere to watch the cricket in Redcar
Doesn't strike me as particularly crickety place
But where is in Yorkshire nowadays

/cric/ is an early riser general

8 hours at toil is slightly excessive , I thinks
School was like 75% of that and even that seemed long

mad how toil looms

British Ashes holding skill on display ch-ACK!

crusaders vs chiefs looms

>Australian IQ
>Australian culture
>Australian snow
none of those exist

only 3 days of toil for me next week lads
will be drunkposting wednesday, thursday, friday and saturday

Will England sack up and compete today?

Josh Tongue of Reddit, Worcestershire

bard is literally from a place called Redditch lmao

>one of our worst natural disasters was caused due to snow
>t-there's no snow in australia
british iq on display mates
btw anyone know which country currently holds the ashes

>Chris woakes opening the ''''''''bowling'''''' as a strike bowler
Lol

didn't know the Australian island was formed by an avalanche

That has to be one the worst bowling line-ups england have ever fielded

>one of
l2read
british iq on display mates

Know enough about York on a Saturday
To not be there on Saturday

Cricket looms

pretty sure I have purchased some fake mmm gats off depop
these Chinese fakes look and feel identical nowadays

chippy lunch on the cards

north east parmo for me
maybe a pint too

>>149331171
wtf is a mm gat
sounds like a hansen song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKadFe0E8tU

https://www.nzherald.co.nz/world/australian-sailor-with-genital-herpes-removes-condom-during-sex/LVYMRED75ZEWJNCFVTLZ5CDNMA/

Went to look at a house today. Absolutely beautiful 4 bed setup, big backyard for the kids and all nicely renovated. Unfortunately there is a disgusting drug dealing meth house next door that ruins the immediate area nearby

>>149331876
suck shit cunt

>>149331876
buy it for cheap and then collect evidence of their wrongdoing until you can submit it to the police
wala
clean neighbourhood and immediate capital gains

went to look at a house today

>bed in the corner of the room

>>149331941
based

>>149331941
safer since you don't have multiple directions masked assailants could approach you from

>>149331941
why would you not have a corner bed in your sleeping room?
or are you implying you live so far below the poverty line that you can't afford a house with seperate rooms for sleeping and sex-having?
that's grim mate, I hope things get better for you

i havent had sex in 8 years

>>149331979
I feel like you're divorced and that bedroom is to impress your son when you have him on the weekends.

>having children in this modern age of society
would rather do literally anything else. even bouldering

just watched Gladiator 2 and to say i am disappointed is an understatement

Imagine being proud of being a genetic dead end in 2025 of all years

imagine not being proud of that

uh scoops bros?

>0/66 21.0 overs

And they're praising the paki for it, me thinks england is cooked as a nation.

Alright I have logged on

LETS FUCKING GO

The Cricket has commenced

Siraj looks like Jey Uso with his new haircut, but instead of saying YEET he says JEET.

>we'll have a bowl thanks

what grounds can we expect a result at? seeing as this test is now officially drawn

Why is there a rainbow on the bottom of the stumps?

where are all the british flags?

Nothings happening tbf other than india quitely scoring, they are going to bat two whole days.

Don’t mind Carse now tbf, used to think he was rubbish but was getting quite a bit of swing yesterday.

Stokes would play a full Durham seam attack if he could: Himself, Wood, Carse and Potts.

Stokes is a brainlet captain

>>149332469
Pic related >>149314011

chris woakes should never be seen in an england shirt after this game.

>>149332484
Figures aren’t good but he hasn’t bowled the badly this innings

>365/3
Umm England bros, what exactly went wrong here?

>>149332492
pointless dibbly dobbler that doesn't get results unless conditions are with him (i.e. when any decent bowler would run through a side)
i'm sorry that i'm right, but i am. meme runs don't elevate him to a test quality player

where's mark wood?
where's nigger archer?

we don't use that word here mate

if stokes had any integrity, he would resign the captaincy
if maccullum had any integrity (lol - PVO), he would resign as coach

absolutely HATE the rose outlines on the lights at headingley
seriously tacky shit. the sort of thing you'd expect of arabs or poos, not the english (esp not the north)

>A Stokes who is held together with tape and WD-40 is the main wicket taker
England must, must, must win this series with the bat. There's no other way.

>>149332511
The pickaninny is injured again. Likely won’t be back in time for the Ashes.

>>149332532
>english
>arabs
>poos
One and the same these days, mate

>>149332484
Chris Woakes is that guy with the TOO economic bowling technique
Reckon you need to be straining some shit if you want to be the best (or chuck it)

England's batters have bazball, but what do the bowlers have? I think they're a bit lost

>>149332580
bazbowl

congratulations on another century, woakes
hope you enjoy your last test match haha

>>149323462
Not surprising at all. Muslims hate each other more than they hate jews, and Israel has been fighting muslims for decades so Isis knows they have no chance there.

rishabh pant has quite an oestrogenised body type
interesting.

>>149332511
No racism pls

>>149332606
more like rishabh panties iykwim haha

Not sure why Potts wasn’t selected for this test

>>149332580
Going for over 4 an over.

>>149332606
turmeric overload, soft bones and stunted muscle development

Going to cum deep in my Thai gf tonight
Going to enjoy it

stuart broad is unfortunately taking english commentary in the direction of channel 9 commentary circa 2014/15
sad for you pommy bros. sky has always been kino

>>149332653
>Thai
>Gf

Think Little Chef needs to be picked ahead of Carse next test.

>>149332507
You mean like how he ran through Australia? You are right about the conditions though, the problem with selecting Woakes is that he’s been selected as a stock bowler rather than what he is “ bowl a few 5 over spells and make a bit happen all-rounder” similar to Stokes.

>>149332675
the australian team of the last 7 years has been an abject disgrace and it is an indictment on modern cricket that they haven't been heemed in every series
cricket is a dead sport. it is sad, but true.

>yeah m8 we'll have a bowl

hmm, is Headingly always like this or did sneaky ECB want a 5 day game at any cost for the viewership?

shohib bashir is a disgrace
can't believe england fans put up with this shite
boo the paki off the field

Going to be pretty embarrassing if England don't score some runs lol

>>149332701
Headingly normally has something for the bowlers as well, just that the ones playing for England are useless.

>tune in
>india slogging it all over the place
>pooftah shit
yeah see you later lads

kek, this paki was apparently one of the "positives" on the first day according to English pundits.

Wait Bashir doesn't get selected for his county team?
How does he get selected lol

>>149332710
There's actually a lot of pressure on them now because they may just have the most stacked batting attack in the Test format and they're at home. They're not allowed to fail with this setup.

if stokes got a proper haircut he might not play and captain like such a poof all the time
wait til he overbowls himself and fucks his knee again

Think I've seen enough of the post-Anderson/Broad era England.

will anything actually change as a result of this abject performance?
or will the english cowards continue letting the peewee vermin ruin their cricket team (& heritage) like this?

GONE
GOTTEM
FUCK OFF

reckon the silent majority in the ground hate trumpetcunt

>>149332756
rude poo

>We'll have a bowl please mate
Just what was he thinking

>>149332761
TRVKE

feel like pure shit just want it to be 2005 again

>>149332761
trumpetnonce is a total cuck
https://youtu.be/3qATgoTNxJI?si=IyOE7ClEWmMolBrx&t=224
>Some people got murdered by foreigners, I'll play a tune, there we go, I am a hecking good chungus

>>149332775
i'd prefer 1995 tbqh

>>149332789
fuck what a cunt
i'd love to crack his maggot skull open
is he coming down this summer? reckon i could get him

starting to think that england might need some wickets here

>>149332813
overrated
more important they keep the vibes up
golf day on wed

If we have to have a token spinner in the team why can't they just pick someone with better stats

>Mark Wood commentating
Wtf? Is he retired?

>>149332848
Injured atm.

at some point you just need to forgo wickets and hope your opponents tire themselves attempting to set a really high total

THIS NIGGA JUST FLIPPED

I've never really understood Bazball

time to drop another one of my patented Legend's Trvkies(tm)
>Test cricket has been dead for over a decade. All we have been watching is a sad Frankenstein-esque charade of a corpse being re-enlivened through a series of electro-shocks

fuck me that was a good flip. didn't think the tubby shit had it in him.

I was looking forward to this series as a neutral and sophisticated observer of the game
Trust England to fuck it all up
Disgraceful.

>englel

>>149332899
The SCG test in 2006 was clearly the series finale of cricket and we should have stopped at that point.

Behold
The legendary Redcar parmo
Vgh
They are certainly not talking Italian in here at all
All slavic
Either polish or Ukrainian not sure

GONE GOTTEM finally :(

GONE GOTTEM
WICKETS TUMBLING NOW

>India prolonging the career of the Paki Piethrower
thank you based poos. please let them bring him to australia

GONE GOT HIM GO ON FUCK OFF MATE ON YOUR FUCKING BIKE

>>149332708
heh.. my boy bashir just needed a little more time

>>149332958
kek

Let Karun cash in too, he deserves to get a hundred.

Going to redcar and not getting a parmo
Like going to Colombia and not going to Theatron, Bogota

>>149332708
You’re right

Outstanding figures of 1-93

>going to Redcar
Code for the getting bummed by steelworkers?

he gets his meat from a dodgy butcher iykwim

can't rotate a pic poster is the worst grimmick

>stokes getting slogged

This actually tastes pretty good
I have had way worse meals put it that way

Perhaps approaching most notably: at five guys

How we reckon Bard is getting on?

Don’t envy him playing in this weather.

Stokes is literally Botham tier when it comes to field placings

the fuck you doing you brown cunt

Smith should have stumped him there. Shithouse cunt, this is why you pick Foakes.

The recent revelation that English pitches are roads doesn't reflect well on Bard's batting average

McNair clan are descendants of Indian immigrants.
Karun Nair belongs to that family.

sleepy rishabh was my favourite

Be so dogshit that the batters mens lose all respect for you and try to slog you every ball. Either fluke yourself into a wicket or feed sixes.

Interesting strategy from the paki.

Caused absolute chaos in the Stockton redcar earlier
Wanted to turn the horse racing off on one particular screen and put the cricket on
Absolute chaos ensued, mostly in my own head, can barely even explain

foakesy would have whipped those bails off in his sleep

How many days does a single match last?

All cricket matches in every universe, ever, last longer than 1 day
Btw, why do you brown nose rugby but not cricket?

>>149333082
5 days but this will be over in 3

Are there any similar players to Stokes where they began their career as a good batsman and poor bowler then ended it as a good bowler and bad batsman

should put the cunt away for another 7 years

Armandos, I have to hand it to you, you have a good parmo there
Rude as hell service though
I am literally giving you my parsiq coins, you are not doing me a favour

Top 6 with 3 hundreds and 3 ducks is an outright first in the history of cricket

>>149333105
Shahid Afridi

>>149333114
Cheers

Nowt wrong with redcar
Just neglected by the government is all

can't believe a single (not return) for normies from York to redcar is over 40 quid
That is mad

Yeah we'll have a pooview thanks

Dense fog in Yorkshire from 3pm onwards
No idea why >we bowled first

best wk batsman in the world and it's not even close

Nice poolapse here, seen enough of the jeets, keen to see how England bats.

>>149333225
he's a terrible keeper though?

>>149333237
Not really, easily top 3 amongst the current lot

if you don't have a licence to drive and a car paid for with cash i'm sorry but you are a slave dependent on the will of others

I can't watch this series free but Micronesia can. FUCK THE ECB AND FUCK SKY

Rest of the world

ICC.tv will also be streaming matches as part of their ECB Summer Content in the following territories:

American Samoa, Åland Islands, Albania, Andorra, Antarctica, Argentina, Armenia, Ascension Islands, Austria, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Belgium, Belize, Bolivia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Brazil, Bulgaria, Cambodia, Chile, China, Christmas Islands, Cocos Islands, Colombia, Cook Islands, Costa Rica, Croatia, Cyprus, Czech Republic (Czechia), Denmark, East Timor, Ecuador, El Salvador, Estonia, Falkland Islands, Faroe Islands, Fiji, Finland, France, French Polynesia, French Southern & Antarctic Lands, Gaza Strip, Germany, Greece, Guam, Guatemala, Guernsey, Honduras, Hungary, Iceland, Indonesia, Israel, Italy, Japan, Jersey, Kazakhstan, Kiribati Islands, Kosovo, Kyrgystan, Laos, Latvia, Liechtenstein, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Macau, Macedonia, Malta, Marshall Islands, Mexico, Micronesia, Moldova, Monaco, Mongolia, Montenegro, Myanmar, Nauru, Netherlands, New Caledonia, Nicaragua, Niue, Norfolk Islands, North Korea, North Macedonia, North Mariana Islands, Norway, Palau, Panama, Papua New Guinea, Paraguay, Peru, Philippines, Pitcairn Islands, Poland, Portugal, Puerto Rico, Romania, Samoa, San Marino, Serbia, Slovakia, Slovenia, Soloman Islands, South Georgia & South Sandwich Islands, South Korea, Spain, Svalbard and Jan Mayen, Sweden, Switzerland, Tahiti, Taiwan, Tajikistan, Thailand, Tokelau, Tonga, Turkmenistan, Tuvalu, Ukraine, Uruguay, Uzbekistan, Vanuatu, Vatican City, Venezuela, Vietnam, Wallis & Futuna.

GONE GOTTEM

Tongue IN Pant OUT iykwim haha

pants off, tongue in IYKWIM

is 95/4 a good morning session?

>>149333243
>best korea
kek

>floral hedgehogs
This is absolutely waved
For some reason the japs just understand fashion in a way westerners never will

>>149333243
Not free in test nations

>>149333241
Not really true - Inglis, Carey, Mitch Hay, Jamie Smith & Foakes are all better keepers and those are just the first three countries I thought about

>>149333094
>will be over in 3
It’s still the first innings going into the 5th session, even if both of Englands innings together last 4 sessions - which they won’t, they’ll last longer - that means a fourth day guaranteed.

airing it for free in north korea, vatican city, and svalbard is how you grow the game

Who would win in a test match between South Korea and Best Korea unironically?
Surely the south? So many expats

odds on india having to bat twice?

>>149333311
1/3

>>149333311
having to, or choosing to?

Sara Tendulkar

>calls it 'Best'
>still says they're worse

Iran would beat Israel though, through something akin to the pathan Spirit, and there isn't really enough expats in Israel to compensate
And China would probably defeat taiwan purely through sheer numbers

>>149333311
>t. Seething peewee
why are you in this thread, your lot aren’t welcome

>>149333335
Literally nothing special. 7/10 by jeeta standards only.

>>149333315

>>149333344
One good bowler, like a Warne, could take out over a hundred blokes in the nets in a single morning

>>149333347
was just asking a question lad not sure if that warranted such a harsh response

Iran literally has at least 1000 undiscovered warnes
let's be honest

hope all 1000 of them suffocate under a collapsed bunker x

>>149333360
She mogged Grace Hayden

>one good bowler, take over a hundred blokes
rookie numbers

hearing a lot of buzz about a fourth of july strike, also the conspiracy """theory""" that the USS Nimitz, due to be decommissioned will get gulf of tonkin'd

>>149333387
Poms will baz it up this arvo get a couple hundred then collapse tomorrow morning might get 350. Depends if India cut loose or not now whether they get 500 or 550

>>149333406
>mogged
Not really, even in that pic where she looks like a demented coke whore. They’re about even.

>>149333406
beside the horn, buttons on steering wheels was a grave mistake

>>149333335
>>149333406
damn she's actually hot
by far the best looking woman ever posted in /cric/

>>149333423
You're not prepared to have an honest discussion

Currently playing: 'half a person' by the smiths somewhere in redcar, north Yorkshire on a jukebox

>>149333423
if you look at that image, and say "mogged, not really" you have fucking atrocious taste in women.

How many runs could he have made here?

>>149333462
30

>>149333435
good cricket, for a change
cos the bowlers we have
could make a good man go bad
so please please please
for once in /crics/ life
let us beat a decent team
lords knows itll be the first time

>>149333423
>even in that pic where she looks like a demented coke whore
thats what grace hayden just generally looks like mate

>>149333440
>>149333434
She ain’t going to show you her bobs and vegana, so stop Shilling her

>>149333335
NEED TO COLONIZE RISING

>colonize

>>149333406
Her south Indian features take some points off.

just fell asleep

>>149333509
see caption

>>149333548
oh, i thought she was half white
maybe shes had skin lightening aka literally got bleached

Yeah why not

>>149333566
>mgmt

>>149333565
Her grandmother is white

I won't move to redcar
But stranger things have happened

/brit/ song for /brit/ test

>>149333525
whered you find this pic of bard?

I'm convinced England have a hidden quota system like SA, no way this cunts your country's best spinner

He is alright
Just needs to do some more 20mm max hangs to get that spinning finger proper strong

oh no no the wheels are coming off here for india!

Pitch definitely looks like it's getting easier to bat on
Good call bowling first

GOTTEM

How much is a 1 bedroom flat in redcar?
Probably 90k
I could buy two

GONE FUCK OFF

>>149333645
kek

>>149333429
meant grace hayden btw

where was this bowling assault yesterday?

Nothing to fear in Redcar
The spirit of Neath flows through my veins

bore off you fat foreheaded freak

ok, im boring off now, bye

nothing wrong with a massive forehead

the stripes on indias pants look bad, shouldn't be allowed

>>149333715
blocks ppl's view at the cinema

>>149333716
it's meant to signify the trickle of poo running down their legs at all times

GONE GOTTEM LICKED BY TONGUE

>>149333628
can't be that because Ahmed is unironically a better spinner and this guy gets picked ahead (not at all to do with having been a surrey

well luckily for them I won't be going to the cinema anymore
as they have decided to stop releasing films

Don't bother looking at the pitch in England
Just bat or bowl based on the weather

>this sperg micro-blog thread
lol I know it's neo-4chin but jfc this is bad

>>149333742
rule 1: bat first
rule 2: decide to bowl, think about it and then bat first

england will be all out for 150

>>149333758
I all out 150ml of cum into your mum pal

>>149333753
welcome to bard
every thread for years has been like this

Thats it
You heard it here first
Z has lost patience with Armenian post- divorce finding myself flick
not renewing my cinema membership

TONGUED FUCK OFF
(waiting 35 seconds...)

Now FOCK OFF!

poolapse almighty

What a fucking poollapse
7/41 off 11.2 overs

Ollie Robinson is objectively superior to Josh Tongue

>>149333808
At cheating on his wife maybe.

Potts and Cook are better than both.

>>149333808
josh tongued ur mum last night m8

rather a Root than a Tongue if I had to pick

>Potts and Cook
Lol
Neither are fit to wipe Mohammad Asif shoes
Absolute shitters

martin bashir is hopeless

>>149333838
I AM THE CROPGOD

>100/1
Future of the game

actually not a fan at all of the Indian tracksuit

>>149333847
go woakes go broakes

RAINING NOW
Told you

>>149333859
the 3 stripes need to go all the way down
the colours are nice, blue on white but somehow it doesnt work

>still shilling 40 year old pakis
putting the zzzz... in zzzz...**hy the boring cunt

Reckon they should be chuffed keeping them under five hundy

>>149333875
It doesn’t look like cricket whites though, that’s the issue. I’m also not a fan of the names and numbers on the back either for that matter

How fucking dumb is Stokes
>day 1 is beautiful clear, hot day with a batting wicket
>day 2 is due to maybe rain in the afternoon
>>hummmm... I guess i let bindian score 500 then get bowled out

>>149333894
has there ever been a smart ginger sportsman

>>149333916
me

>Isa had two ten-inchers for lunch

>>149333753
looks like an alien's face after ya mum sat on it

>>149333916
Why are gingers like this?

>>149333937
celtic dna

>>149333937
relentless bullying
girls not liking them
pretty much the perfect 'birth of a supervillain' concoction

>>149333916
scholes

14:36 to Darlington gets me home and safe to York

>>149333937
uhh, because of the supreme grace of muhammad PBUH you fucking spastic.

>>149333242

Will it be elite?

Why do I need a car
Not like I have kids to take to tae-kwon-do lessons
Gillygate traffic is as bad as it is
Why would I contribute to something so foul

>>149334034
looks like the vein on my thick engorged cock

>>149333894
he's a deano from New Zealand
Hardly Gary Kasparov

Rain delays play right into the hands of baz

lads is there an app which you can set to just give notifications when play starts. I don't want wickets or anything just like "rain delay ended" or "lunch finished" kind of shit

Why do I need a car

>>149334091
I don’t know but you’re not supposed to do anything during a rain delay it’s a time to ponder upon things not work

Personally I don't need a car
Trains are the past, the present, and the future

>>149334090
How so?

>>149334111
Fewer total overs

https://youtu.be/3GhN7v5SoGs?si=95hxvehB8A-McxTo

It riles cricmongs something proper that football runs through their little sport in an inseparable way

>>149334193
Do you mean soccer and if so how so?

>>149334193
Do you mean real football or rugby?

DARLING
DONT YOU GIVE UP ON A MONDAY

Reckon England will be eyeing up stealing Vettori from Australia

https://youtu.be/DHQRZXM-4xI?si=mIP9jePSrS33swUl

Just passed a New Zealand into the toilet.

>>149334328
Shitting this close to bed is unhealthy

>only just getting back at it
timed that perfectly, was on the phone for half an hour

For the avoidance of any doubt he was saying that New Zealand was shit.

recharge your phone if needed bc work willl be calling soon

GONE GOTTEM

>>149334000
>anyone but India aussie is a jihadi
No surprises there

oh for fucks sake

And just like that, the chucking complaints are warming up.

INBRED CUNTS FVCK OFF

>>149334453
You’re unironically posting ten year old breitbart bullshit you won’t be surprised by much

literally just sticking your bat out and hoping

>>149334372
It was a kidney stone.

>>149334476
Found a ginger

Reminder this game will be over within 3 days

>>149334499
better twist your mind to suit reality rather than twisting reality to suit your mind

At the test tomorrow lads, digits for what I should do if I’m on camera

>>149334552
flash your tits

>>149334552
>>149334555
got to do it now lad

>>149334552
>>149334555
GET YOUR TITS OUT FOR THE LADS

WELL WELL WELL
>fair delivery
no he's a chucker

That looked plum I would’ve given it

Zacky C is so shit

Simply don't count any wickets taken by chucker

slow and steady lads

Bumrash will get 10 wickets every innings purely because the rest of the bowlers suck ass.

>9.5 rpo

>shitraj

I SAID SLOW AND STEADY YOU STUPID CUNTS

>>149332532
I really like them. Very nice touch tbqhwyl

They are terrified

>>149334700
Islamophobia is not cool

Muhammad married a 6 year old

if he played for any other country this chucker would've been seen off by the icc by now

KEK

bloody hell this is a bit tense for this hot weather, can these lads just bat reasonably

>Zak Crawley has been dismissed inside the first 10 overs in 45 of his 99 Test innings

Whoever bakes, put some effort in

>>149334804
KWAB

>>149334811
no
>>149334823
>>149334823
>>149334823

>>149334804
Posh cunt gets 7000 bites of the cherry
Kell supreez

>>149333937
muhammed was described to have fiery hair people interpret this as he was a ginger
the admixture of people in levant was ethnically different to what it is now.