ENGLAND v "INDIA"

I don’t like cricket

>>149380984
then there'll be a maximum of 1.5 days left to bat

more of a Pakistan nation 2bh

Amazing how many Indians managed to get over to England for the cricket really, thought they were povvo

I just realised how much of an autist trumpetnonce is
Probably one of us tbqhwy

>>149381007
I'm here mate lol
any tune requests?

actual non-early new
>>149380997

gay

countystreamssperg is a bit of a weirdo with his obsession over making the new every time then seething when someone else does
maybe bowen was right about something for once

>>149381017
Ever ripped a fart into the mouthpiece?

>>149381025
This wasn't made by streams though, he actually puts the scores in the OP

>>149381007
>Wearing a trumpet bucket hat
Pushing the 'mick a bit hard me thinks

countystreamssperg RULES this poomunity

>>149381026
I ripped a fart into your mums mothpiece iykwim champ

>>149381039
GONE GOTTEM
TELL YOUR STORY WALKING CUNT

>>149381039
Based trumpetsperg

im gonna go tescos and get some beers

should i get anything else else? any food man in?

>cold grey blustery day
Wouldn't have it any other way tbqhwy England til I die

>>149381054
Flamin hot Doritos

>>149381054
heres a top shopping list fella >>149380899

>>149381054
farmers union and a meat pie

>>149381054
a new spinner

>>149381073
any man including cakes in a meal deal is a fat fucker

Can you cunts get another wicket already? This is getting ridiculous

>>149381038
nah, chadchy b ended him at the last meet. iykyk

>>149381090
Rly thought you were a god for a split sec

I can't believe a team would play without at least two slips tbqh.

thinking the next wicket will either be Rishabh Pant or KL Rahul

Pitch is looking a little chaotic, who won the toss?

>>149381076
>farmers union
wtf is that

>>149381086
that wouldn't be a meal deal would it? it would just be the sandwich, drink, and crisps. the cakes and chicken are full cost unless they've expanded it.
fat fuck either way. all that processed food.
it's not zachy because he takes the bus like a slave. dependent on a man who may decide to drive the bus 5mph slower that day.

>>149381108
gods own

>>149381102
Thinking Crawley

>>149381108
A brand of bland iced coffee that’s popular among the sorts of tradies whose tastebuds have been obliterated by cigarettes and ice, ice being methamphetamine.

>zachy
>chad

>zachy
>bulling anyone and not getting bullied himself

>zachy
>telling the truth

>zachy
>freethinker

farmer poonion

>>149381138
gottem
pozzies not recovering from this

you alright countysperg?

Can’t wait to see Bashir bowling in the Ashes.

>>149381138
best post ITT so far (unironically)

>>149381006
over 200 died m8 show some respect you chud

chance pant gets to 100 before rahul?

>>149381154
a mathematical certainty

Why do England play t20 powerplay type fields

mad how that plane had 53 Britain-born British Britons aboard travelling from india on an indian flight, i guess they were just there on holiday.

im not a betting man

but that is easy money

>>149381148
meant to post this in the last but it reached the bump

bard was planning on going bindia and easily could have been on that flight on the way back. scary stuff

>>149381173
god this must be an incredibly boring person. leave the western mathematics to the baseball.

the flight would never have taken off due him walking around the aisles regaling each co-passenger about his stationary career, house buying options, and local cricketing non-events

this shit retarded af ngl

I only pop into these threads during test matches and you're always chatting on about some lads called zachy and bard, can I get a quick rundown

not sure more turn = better desu
just a misc stat really. might be more difficult to play but what actually gets you out? - just use averages or strike rates

>>149381191
No.

>>149381191
they're current english cricketers zach crawley (zachy) and brydon carse (bard)

always makes me chuckle to think that ireland is part of the british isles

>>149381191
lurk moar

but they are just two cunts who have chased away everyone

>>149381187
>northern ireland
>it's clearly eastern ireland

>>149381168
only two real Brits and they were a pair of arsebandits
>>149381165
because stokes is legit a retard and so are his preferred bowlers

i remember six years ago we had a guy who was uncertain about turning up at his local cricket club because his fellow cricketsman father, known to the club, was convicted of something nasty. he just went along and everyone was normal.

irelands population is 5 million

Think Bashir may be playing for India

bard is irish

>>149381217
>south australia
>it's clearly central australia

Why is Isle of Man treated like shit in that pic?

>>149381232
my theory: its maintained as an overseas territory so no matter how much smaller the british empire gets, the isle of mann ensures the category of "overseas territory" has a reason to exist.
then if some island somewhere petitions for annexation (could happen, the commonwealth has non-empire states in it these days), the isle of mann template is rolled out.

>>149381223
All the curryniggers in india tops are cheering him. They know something we don't.

Garak would never bowl pies like this. He'd be ashamed of the way Bashir is going about it.

we are more of a croquet nation

>>149381033
Which is the correct and proper way to do it

>>149381054
get us a pack of custard creams plz mate ta

>>149381239
I don't really understand what you mean by rolling out the template

>>149381187
>british isles

>>149381261
https://allrumblestats.com/wrestler/tazz/
KWAB

>>149381279
Yeah. You're British fella

>>149381177
Probably will still go later this year desu
Not sure I trust Air India anymore thoughever

>>149381213
At least half of my blogposting is about cricket and I'm usually polite to people, particularly if they talk to me about cricket
I don't think I've chased anyone away desu

Can’t see England winning from here

I thought that ad with the ginger was two lesbians. Damn. She's hot tho.

>>149381261
IT’S TAZZ

>>149381289
India aren't declaring at 300 like you said though, why would they.

not been watching
is it a complete road / 99% draw?

>>149381315
other than one morning spell where indian wickets rained down like airplane debris yes its been a road

>>149381315
yh but england will manage to pollapse and lose

>>149381287
On what grounds?

>>149381283
Absolutely brutal appearance, he was crying running down to the ring. He got mogged by the Radicalz joining a month after joining and then kept getting hurt.

They might be closer to a 400 run lead by the close of play than 300.

>>149381313
They’ll be well past 300 at drinks this arvo. That’s when I’d declare, not that I’m a test captain or anything

>>149381323
he had started his transition to commentating so he probably accepted this comedy elimination just to stay on the company's good side. WCW was fast becoming uncertain in early 2001 (WWF poached Meng to zero fanfare just before the same PPV) so nowhere else to jump ship to.

>>149381320
Don't make me tap the sign

>>149381317
but the cracks

Tazz was never good in the ring but became an elite heel commentator so the perfect career move

business idea: going ringside at the next Royal Rumble and after each elimination yell out "GONE GOTTEM FUCK OFF"

is it Carse to Pant or Pant to Carse?

>>149381331
Yes, but why would they declare there tho? They might as well bat the final session and try and take it to 400. Stokes will try and chase it either way, but England can chase 300/350 in 4 sessions if they pitch doesn't crumble.

Archer just took a wicket for Sussex apparently

>>149381378
I don’t think about what they’d do based on how stupidly they’ve done things before. I think about what I’d do and if we don’t bat until tomorrow and it’s 400 I’m playing for the draw, I prefer that to having a chase against Bumrah and the pitch cracking open and possible showers which will help the bowlers.
You’re absolutely correct though, they will chase it and that’s fine too because I’ll back my bowlers to take ten

>>149381350
He was shit when I watched. He was on Smackdown with Cole.

Taz got mogged on commentary by Hayman.

Heyman is wasted on commentary. GOAT promos. Imagine him coming out as IDF's manager.

To clarify, if I’m England I want to play out a draw starting tomorrow sometime.
If I’m India I want to declare and force them to chase it from this afternoon.
England aren’t winning this unless there’s a collapse, could happen

absolutely no venom in bashir's bowling here

Based former Pear Santner acting as a double agent by getting out for a duck and then giving us 5 extra penalty runs by throwing a hissy fit after he was triggered

next 7 wickies for 60 runs when

>>149381453
never

just chuck it at the stumps

>>149381421
Should do Tribute to the Troops for the IDF and have Goldberg involved.

>>149381427
Was going to write a reply to this but just remembered it's due to rain in Leeds tomorrow anyway, so if anything leaving it until Tea to declare is too late for India.

so who replaces bashir for next test
has to be similarly brown

mfw going to bed

the cowardly dead bazball pitch
the muscular AusGOD concrete speedway

>>149381495
Moeen Ali?

>>149381495
Me

>>149381506
his participation is prohibited per the conditions of the 10 May ceasefire agreement

>>149381495
Fateh Singh is probably the best spinsman in the country right now

>>149381474
If that’s what happens they’ll lose morning session but can make up an hour later so they’ll lose about an hour hour and a half. It’s not too bad. India should move this along now have a slog

>>149381521
Maybe shave his beard, put a turban on him and call him Monjeet Singh

Rahul looks like a bowler.

300 by tea lads let’s go

how the fuck did south africa let someone from zimbabwe hit 300 against them in one game lmao

WHALLOP

Paul won't let the Poms get away with another ball change trick.

Fateh Singh is from a Sikh background, where hair is considered sacred and must not be cut, but he has alopecia and is as bald as the proverbial coot

Wonder if that creates any interesting or challenging dynamics from a theological perspective

Business idea; stop chucking pies

>>149381586
god did it so it's okay

WHY THE FUCK ARE THESE CAMERAMEN SO SHIT. WHY DO THEY KEEP LOSING THE BALL.
Fucks sake.

GOTTEM

i really hope islam doesn't take over because i can't grow a beard

>devil's number
>gets out
spooky

If i was pant i would simply not get out to the worst full time spinner in test cricket

>>149381495
Nobody, he's still getting picked
Actually convinced him & Crawley have Rob Key's nudes, or are doing sexual favors to keep getting selected or something

bashit can only get wickets when batsmen are going after him

Went off for a shit and missed two wickets: Bashit and Critchley getting a wicket and making the breakthough

ffs i was toiling (sent an email) and missed the wicket
when will the government do SOMETHING about toil

>>149381620
you would if it means bashits career lasts till the ashes.
should be on your knees thanking pant tbqh.

playing for a draw at this point. we have one fucking bowler, no way we restrict anyone to less than 450 on this pitch.

i dont care about this series

i went to see the lads when they came over last time with dhoni and virat

why isnt the child prodigy in the team??

https://youtu.be/9fQeY59Ahnw?si=Y_YcX9v19zbyxPq4
https://youtu.be/9fQeY59Ahnw?si=Y_YcX9v19zbyxPq4

was already over caffeinated then grabbed another americano with a friend.
who is winning the cricket

>>149381775
Too early, he average like 10 in fc games. More of a T20 specialist at the moment. Sarfaraz's omission is far more glaring.

>>149381790
Australia

>>149381793
he should be here the indian wayne rooney

good non review

Can somebody help me plan a 5-week Indian travel itinerary taking in Golden Triangle, Nepal trekking, Mumbai -> Goa -> Kerala, and Sri Lanka for under £2k (including flights and all expenses) pls

Taking in one local cricket match somewhere along the route, obviously

I will yeah

Either declare or start slogging

>>149381970
>grimdia
go west indies instead. nicer looking and of course much cleaner
>>149381990 can give you some tips

I think I swallowed a toothpick.

>>149382026
>dude islands lmao

Dull and insipid scenery
Awful cuisine
No culture
It's a no from me!

>>149382026
The nice parts of India are probably better than the nice parts of the Caribbean desu. Income inequality isn't as bad over here (yet)

don't know about the others but
>Dull and insipid scenery
nah just because you're desensitised from having seen it on a postcards doesn't mean it's not still kino irl

>>149382027
had your ribs removed did ya?

>>149382075
Yes, got them to do it when I had my gallbladder out due to all the stones it was producing.

good to see day 5 test criccy ,could be very memey day tomorrow. Right now is the dire skip slop time

ITS OVER WE FCKIN LOST

>>149382070
Beaches do very little for me desu
Get very bored on them, there's only so much time you can wile away reading a book, paddling on the shore, or drinking Bahama Mamas
For me? It's mountains

its grim up north

tv commentators trying to hype up this game

england could make 450 runs tomorrow

any bitter man in?

bazball is finished

>>149381169
im not a betting man but this is free money

any bongo takers in?

carse's haircut is an absolute shocker

its grim up north

>>149381970
Visit McLeod Ganj

>>149382435
Looks comfy but isn't that where it's all kicking off with the terrorists etc?

Licked.

>>149382514
That's Kashmir

India is really beautiful once you’re not hanging out in the city slum areas. Pretty much the same here

remember when pacemen wouldn’t try to kill each other?

based tongue killing the poos

it's like kashmir all over again down at headingley

WHAT A BALL

Worcestershire's Josh Tongue stat-padding again by cleaning up the tail

Nottinghamshire's Josh Tongue looked very ordinary bowling against India's top order desu

Jadeja batting masterclass incoming

griggid :DDDDDDDDDDDDD

these cowards are 9 down and not declaring
brutal story loss

Pears fought back well with the ball but still finding a way to lose by an innings ffs

They may as well declare now they’re just wasting good bowling time

Don't see the point of pissing away all your wickets without upping the run rate and then just blocking for the rest of the evening

India aiming for a draw?

Josh Tongue is a born and bred Worcestershirian, so sad to see bard stab him in the back just because he had to put food on the table

Is this the famous 'poolapse' ive been hearing the aussies talk about
ive never seen it in the flesh before

Don't see the point of cricket in 2020 + 5

>>149382864
Not a full one. I’ll let you know when it happens. This is time wasting to deny the viewing public anything interesting for the rest of the afternoon, nobody gets excited by tailenders tonking so-called test bowlers about the place

>>149382888
this but women

>1/100
>1/90
Generational performance from Bashir

India very much losing the story

taken like a true fighting pear

>>149382902
2/90 sweatie

>>149382859
Not convinced Redditch is Worcestershire tbqhwy
Pseudo Birmingham shithole

>>149382926
go bck to redditch

>>149382902
APOLOGISE
P
O
L
O
I
S
E

>>149382936
Rarely been there desu
Try not to head north of Droitwich if I can help it

Don't think England are chasing this desu
Rain tomorrow aswell
Predicting some embarrassing collapse as they try and go for it but fail spectacularly and make Bumrah look like a god

Ended up missing everything since tea, they fucking finally managed to bowl them.

eating cherries

Always enjoy fruit more than anticipated. These are Spanish cherries they’re quite tasty

didn't ask

don’t care, sorry if you can’t get fresh fruit in England these days very insensitive of me no wonder you all have horrid skin

not him and I didn't ask either
you trying to be more boring than bard or something? it's not possible

touché

>>149383019
>>149383035
I've also been eating deluxe king cherries this week, a rare and unusual treat for me after Lidl switched the usual free vegetable voucher (which I've typically been exchanging for 8kg of potatoes) with a free fruit voucher (which I decided to exchange for the most expensive fruit item I could find)

I've been enjoying them, quite tasty with banana in yoghurt

another banana + yoghurt + cricket enjoyer? what are the odds

for me it’s banana, yoghurt, a dash of cinnamon and a drizzle of honey

>>149383224
The staple of my weekday desserts, mostly because a big pot of yoghurt is £0.35-55

Why isnt Crawley out yet?

>>149383079
>he doesn’t get fresh fruit and veg from the local greengrocer or local farms
Picked 3kg of strawberries for jam and 1kg of raspberries for eating. Honestly not eating fresh fruit is NGMI material

>>149382973
>t. Amit Patel

>>149382902
>Bashir being inconsistent AF
You can take the man out of Pakistan but can’t take the Pakistan out of the man

>>149383377
I’ve a punnet each of blueberries and blackberries to have tomorrow, might do some pancakes. That apple a day thing is no bullshit

This may help
https://youtu.be/Xe00uJH4GJQ?si=QW0vW5MlvBrAaMXS

>>149383064
>>149383101

should have asked the internet how to make a .gif properly lol

>>149383708

>>149383708

anyone fancy pub on thursday

>>149383943
yes mate

hmm thinking probably a self-reply that
teetotal general etc.

>>149384011 (You)
LMAO you absolutely bodylined him bruv!

Michael Vaughan talks so much bullshit.

GOTTEMbros... if Michael Vaughan still batted imagine the fun we could have had by posting Michael GONE every time he got out hahahahaha

if phil hughes still played, whenever he gets out you could say "phil GRAVE" lmao!!

if he got out for a diamond duck at lords he'd be Shane Gone GOTTEM FUCK OFF BACK TO AUS CUNT iykwim haha

gotta go to work I'll be back later

>>149384985

*be's incredibly talented at /cric/ posting*

based meza

new to cricket
how big of an upset will this be if england can pull it off

>>149387590
Like South Africa beating New Zealand in a rugby union World Cup final

>>149387590
not really an upset, pitch is finna gonna be a minefield apparently

>>149380989
oh no

>>149387982
makes it a more impressive win

>>149388588
...yh

*i goofed

either way CRICKET SHALL BE WINNING
innit

It’s a very attractive thing a final day chase by an aggressive batting lineup on a cracking pitch against *ahem* the possibly best paceman in the world right now

soOOO TRUE !

>>149384359
keKkk you are a cheeky bugger ngl fella

>>149384608
umm ..that doesn't work fella
stop please x

>>149383242
YUMMO

>>149382849
T R I N I L A L
R
I
N
I
L
A
L

I'm pretty gutted. I went to bed when Pant was on 110
Missed the poolapse

based

might let the thread die this afternoon so I can bake a better thread for the final day (do not reply to this message)

Are England finna go bazball mode today?

>>149392217
yeah it should be the best day of cricket so far
either going to lose early wickets from bazzing too hard and play for the draw or baz for the entire day and get close to winning

spent $250 on some salomon trail running shoes that I'll use to walk to the shops and back

>>149393600
there's worse ways to spend $250
I bet they're hella comfy

Is it going to rain de lads?

Good morning lads, I'd just like to say I have no faith in the boys and this will be over before tea

>>149393835
will the fellas play for the draw if things get dire early on or are they just going to throw the game bazzing?

>overcast conditions
we're fucked here lads

>>149393886
They start quick, lose wickets and try to get quicker to compensate, lose some more and start playing for the draw far too late

England paying 3.30, that seems really good if it doesnt rain.
>>149393886
If they draw this game without losing more than 30 overs to rain bazball is OVER

>We'll have a bowl mate
Right up there with
>We'll have a day 1 declaration mate

>>149387834
really? england are favourites? i thought india was THE cricket nation

It's over.

>>149393966
just remembered how much i hate England, the country

Get what they deserve for having a Test Match in June

Draw still available at 3.6. Don't mind if I do.

>>149393936
>t. peeweejeet

>>149394020
peeweebro has certainly not been a fan of england so far this series
think its because you guys keep taking the title of most reddit nation from them

>>149393936
>>149394020
>took peeweejeet 8 hours of rugby study to reply

>>149394020
>>149394027
>>149394034
gm sirs

I’m going with INDIA COWARDLY REFUSE TO DECLARE DESPITE EXPECTED RAIN

Do India already hold the Tendulkar Anderson?
Why are they playing for a drawn series?

I reckon we will get a bit of play today, but nowhere near enough for either side.

>>149394048
>tendulkar Anderson
>t. Ausjeet

why don't they just play cricket in raincoats

>>149394053
we already solved this issue years ago

>>149394055
no that's dumb. the glory of cricket is that there's no limit on alttitude. one day a fielder could be 40,000 feet in the air

Should just excavate massive caves underground and host the sport there.
May just be trading rain issues for light issues though

Antarctica has enormous underground caves that are warm enough that you can walk around in a t-shirt
(You will now ponder why all the elites go to Antarctica so much)

>>149394055
It’s not exactly perfect though they had to make up a rule if it hits the roof

the entire pitch is a disc that flips on its axis to reveal nice dry grass underneath

>>149394072
BUILD.
IT.
BIGGER.

Cricket still too far away, might kill myself

sky fielders should unironically be a thing
surely they have jetpacks on drones or whatever they can use
imagine that, 3D cricket

>>149364150
>>149379725
/COUTNY/: REPORTS & HIGHLIGHTS POST for day 1 of round 9.

>Division One

Durham 249/5.
v Sussex 361.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/articles/cvg6x221mlno
https://youtu.be/FJ1yFUZ5n1M

Essex 296.
v Hampshire 293/4.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/articles/c1e0lwex49no
https://youtu.be/w_1EsrRAKuQ

Nottinghamshire 487.
v Yorkshire 154/3.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/articles/cddz61d92q0o
https://youtu.be/YsjtUIIQbds

Warwickshire 158/1.
v Somerset 498.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/articles/cx2378qwggqo
https://youtu.be/yIssAiLlybs

Worcestershire 214. & 69/4.
v Surrey 291.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/articles/c4gkznvdn7do
https://youtu.be/8eQtW7Izu8o

>Division Two

Gloucestershire 187. & 62/1.
v Derbyshire 398.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/articles/c8e4wep4zl2o
https://youtu.be/fs1m6q8hb4A

Lancashire 120/1.
v Kent 374.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/articles/c8d6qd9v6d8o
https://youtu.be/3XJoKXOKPro

Leicestershire 389/3.
v Glamorgan 353.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/articles/c4g82g0gnpno
https://youtu.be/ipNDhrTfBgU

Northamptonshire 308/5.
v Middlesex413.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/articles/c3vdrv90lpxo
https://youtu.be/nwyRCXDCtYo

rain delays are kino and you'd miss them if they were gone

>>149394206
Have the pitch be suspended in the centre of a big hollow sphere, 22 fielders, 11 flying above and 11 flying below.

>>149394215
what would we call the shots that go straight up or down?

business idea: blitzball

Business Idea:
Boreball where you aim to keep the runrate below 1 at all times and make every match end in a draw

nothing boring about a classical forward defence

>>149394206
>3D cricket
interesting

>>149394215
In zero gravity I assume? Just little thrusters for directional control, rather than hovering?
https://voca.ro/187fTWb4y5VH

truthnuke: england v india series are always boring - the styles of both teams doesn't mesh well. we're more entertaining against every other side and so are the jeets

>the styles of both teams doesn't mesh well
you'll need to expand on this

>>149394276
I shall not be doing that.

>>149394278
shan't consider your point then

Will England?

Live in Leeds our man is outside the ground looking at the weather
https://www.youtube.com/live/gwhDLt7BRCY?si=QEh2gOVQ5tHK7fQe

>>149394312
no, ball will start moving like crazy given the conditions now

everyone still angry in here?

Spots of rain in the camera. Get the covers back on, can't be juicing the pitch up for India.

/COUNTY/ Championship, round 9, day 3:
BBC have live text and radio feeds, also streams on the ECB website

>Division One

Durham v Sussex
https://youtu.be/6TQCcJvObQI

Essex v Hampshire
https://youtu.be/6LmpPZV2Czc

Nottinghamshire v Yorkshire
not up? fuck em

Warwickshire v Somerset
https://youtu.be/05z_ZpGiL90

Worcestershire v Surrey
https://youtu.be/Jwll7jB9p7w

>Division Two

Gloucestershire v Derbyshire
https://youtu.be/oxASub7dS58

Lancashire v Kent
https://youtu.be/jbtXYcMT-_8

Leicestershire v Glamorgan
https://youtu.be/p6lUi6chXpw

Northamptonshire v Middlesex
https://youtu.be/sQ1UWVIhi9c

he types all that out for free btw

>>149394398
>still hasn't learnt of ctrl+c and ctrl+v

looks like we're starting on time
any knowers know exactly how many overs we'll get today?

>>149394434
I'd say at least 1

Why don't they play test matches?

why do they wait until 11 fucking am to start? surely 10am is a better time?

>>149394459
Tradition and something to do with morning dew evaporating by 11am

GWAN BUMMY

The cricket.

LETS FUCKING GO 4 ALREADY

my instinct is hoping england lose, but then bumrah jogs in like a 12 year old then chucks it and I switch.

My cat tried to watch the 'ket yesterday but fell fast asleep.

England aren't losing and if >we pollapse the rain will save >us

good ball that

>>149394479
same here for the first part but then I think about how the Indians cheer for England against us and they never apologised to Roy and how funny they are when they lose it’s very conflicting. I’m rather enjoying the Bumrah and if he is chucking that’s a problem for the admin I’ll happily suspend my disbelief and watch the Poms cry

>>149394483
Is that a Mexican lime?

FUCKING GOTTEM, Harmo with his first of the day

>>149394510
No it's a cat mate.

must be agonizing having to listen to indians talking when you're trying to bat

>>149394521
sorry, my mistake I haven’t finished this third coffee yet

All this wanking off of Bumrash is a bit annoying tbf, its very hyperbolic.

>>149394523
just put on an Indian accent and chat with them about your pet elephant Blinky, he has a red saddle and a pink bridle

lads I think this guy is throwing the ball

>>149394529
baz knows another series loss means hes in the hotseat, so hes told the commentators to hype up india like crazy so when he loses again it doesnt look so bad to the casuals and he can live to slog another day

whatever happened to that indian with a british flag who would say bharat unironically and other diaspora cringe posts

Oh so when it's England who want a ball change they get it instantly, but India doesn't.

>that wind
>that cloud cover

This has "draw because of rain" written all over it.

Further thoughts on the hype around Bumrah: Noticed that the pozzies itt are in particular going on about Bumrah. It might be just gentle trolling of "pommies" but having a look at this test averages:
>versus Aus: 64 wickets @ 17.2
>versus Eng: 65 @ 21.9
>all wickets against Aus were played in Aus
>in England: 42 @ 25.4

that was zachy but the gimmick was killed by a certain post by a certain civil servant
I won't carry on because it makes zachy very angry haha

Australians, being the custodians of pace bowling, are naturally the experts on pace bowler evaluation

>>149394551
Not kidding when I say he was mentally ill. That behaviour is evidence of an identity crisis, which in adulthood can be fatal. Lots of second generation immigrants believe their parents fucked up by moving from a shithole to the west, which doesn't compute, hence the identity crisis.
See also: Zachy claiming to Welsh, working class, etc.
They are dissatisfied with life and hope that by overacting an identity they'll find a solution.

>>149394565
Also the experts in getting out to them.

>>149394568
especially when theyre not popular/attractive to girls or seen as chads here. they think they would have been a chad in their own country etc. but they got born here and are comparatively a manlet or something so they are bitter

yeah >we aren't going for the win are we

>>149394565
I had a lovely theory that Australians put the wicket total first on scoreboards because they value bowling more than batting but turned out someone got confused when assembling the first physical scoreboard there.

>>149394585
If you knew more you’d know that Australian pitches are more conducive to pace bowling, hence a good paceman does better in Australia

>>149394590
probably want to see the chucker off first before slogging it about

>replay showing the umpire laughing at the guy who got lbw'd
fucking kek

grimket

>>149394593
I’ve heard that stout was invented when the brewer forgot about his malt and nearly burnt it but made it up anyway. Wickets are more valuable than runs regardless of the nature of the discovery

wickets/runs is the best format for the same reason that day/month/year is the best format.

>>149394594
>Australias baked pitches suit fast bowling
No you don’t say wow thats really mind blowing

Cricket is won by taking wickets, runs are the secondary score the tiebreaker if you will

>>149394609
Yeah it’s obvious that’s why I didn’t bother saying it in the first reply, but here we are

I am giving Crawley permission here to be his usual self and get out cheaply
Need someone else batsmanning now

Batting total is more important though.
Let's say a team is 9 wickets down. Sounds pretty bad, but actually they are leading by 450 runs. So 450/9 makes the wicket total unimportant. 9/450 would be an unhelpful order.
A high score is always important, but a high wicket count always depends on context.

remember when Bairstow walked out of his crease and got run out? what a laugh that was

>>149394605
Nah, the early Porters (from which Stout is derived) from the 18th century were produced using brown malt. Black patent malt (aka malt that has been roasted) was developed until 1816. That being said a lot of 18th century brown malt would have had a toastier taste than modern brown malt, but porter developed due to brewers taking beer made from brown malt, heavily hopped and then aged for long periods. The long aging would have dissipated any roasted taste.

>>149394616
>doesn’t realise obvious sarcasm
but it still doesn’t explain why Australians are therefore so bad at facing fasts if Australian conditions suit the development of fast bowlers, you’d think your batters would be used to them, yet they’re shit scared of Jofra “crock” Archer.

Australia were traditionally good against 'pace' but struggled against swing and seam - hence didn't find batting in England easy. Since Hughes died a lot more of their batsmen have become scared of bouncers like Smith

phil GRAVE

>>149394641
Australians say that you’ve got to be afraid to be brave. It means that if you’re not scared you’re a fool, bravery is understanding the threat and facing the fear. It’s why we make the best soldiers and openers

that's the most poowardly thing I've seen an Australian say

just gotta hold ingerland

surely all the batters have prescriptions for stimulants right?

did he hit that? that looked like it was going onto the stumps imo

>WE WILL HAVE A POOVIEW PLS SAAAAR
NOT OUT

pooview lol

jeez that looked dead on until that final ball tracking.

>give up 835 runs
>still win

we're bazzin

risharnt byes

I don't think we are winning. I think there are many runs to be accrued before this is a possibility.

Honestly think both are playing for a draw and waiting for the rain which should be falling now according to the forecast

>>149394719
you're only 1/3rd of the way to halfway to the total. but as long as you don't lose enough wickets that you're into the bowlers there's a chance.
rain will probably wreck the game anyway desu.

heem pajeet pls englel

nobody asked for any of your opinions
just because someone made a /cric/ thread doesn't mean you should use it to post your 'takes' about the match situation when you've probably never taken any wickets or scored any runs yourself beyond club level

btw the football stand is a rugby league football stand (not soccer), just so you know if you didn’t

>>149394740
I played three first class games for south australia in the early 2000's.

>you're only 1/3rd of the way to halfway to the total

ah yes, bouldering, now that's a real sport!

is there a north, east, and west australia?

>>149394760
i autistically breakdown chases into similar segments tbf, big fan of number of 4's required.

>>149394760
the numbers don't lie and they spell disaster for you at leeds

>>149394775
based steiner

>>149394773
Northern Territory (would probably become North Australia if it ever became a state)
West Australia.. already exists.
East Australia is just what people call the Brisbane/Sydney/Melbourne corridor.

If Steiner wasn't buried by Triple H (many such cases, sad!), we'd have never got that segment

>watching wrestling post 2004

either zoomers or manchildren

>>149394779
Is NT destined to be maintained as a non-state for good reason?
>>149394795
I only watch pre-2002. Good content to have on during cardio.

>>149394795
Or they could have down syndrome
Wrestling is like crack for them

>zak crawley
more like
>bats poorly

His best bit all time was in TNA when he wore those Bobby Lashley’s wife’s face printed undies

you have to admit, the attitude era was some of the most kino TV ever made

>>149394795
people are allowed to like different things

>india 47% winviz
not with this field

They're going at over 3 an over this innings thats only "slow" compared to bazball memesmash cricket

>>149394809
The agreed insult is
>Cack Poorly

Not very Bazball this you have to question England's desire

You'll never win hearts and minds batting for a draw

>>149394800
It's because it's population is only about 250,000. That population also narrowly rejected becoming a state back in 1998 due to some peripheral issues involving the changes made to the laws that would have taken place if it became a state.
Tasmania probably shouldn't be a state either but it got grandfathered in because of being a colony in 1901.

>>149394824
Wrong

zachy c's dad is richer than zachy b's grandad
it's not even close desu

Ben Duckett is too short to be opening for England, should be in some sort of exhibit somewhere

Think there's a bit of rain on the way

>>149394866
he could find work as a child height gatekeeper at theme parks

>>149394853
Reckon if Victoria annexed Tasmania there’d be a rebellion

>>149394853
quite a few countries have this phenomenon where some of its territory is not "full status", its interesting when the inhabitants themselves decline it.
its probably all due to taxes kek.

>>149394893
You have it in England you’re directly ruled from Westminster and nobody wants or cares for a devolved English parliament

is there any limit on how many times you can request a ball check from the umps?
they're taking the piss

this attack is zimbo tier minus the chucker

Would be in favour of the Pears learning how to bat at some point

I mean sort of. Anyway regarding the NT they have some representation in the federal house of representatives and the senate and they don’t see the need for state government as they have local government as it is. If they become a state they’ll simply be adding another layer of government in between the two they have

Right, you've got your 50 goblin man, time to blast out a quick 20 and get out so a real batswielder can come in

Ben Duckett is the most Irish looking nigga imaginable

Reckon it’s baz time after lunch

the lads

Reckon Crawley's locked in his Ashes spot here

>>149394912
Aussies and Poms like to say this about the other, but South Asians are genuinely notorious cheats and way worse than either of us

If you ever play against a team full of them then they'll go up for almost everything and put the umpire under as much pressure as possible

noticed bard's turned his attention away from women to seethe about browns recently
seems a bit odd given his upcoming trip to bindia. he'll probably be going after the disabled once he's done with that

7 more runs for the story victory

>>149394950
wouldn't matter if he got ducks in every innings of this series, he'd still play in the Ashes.

>>149394961
Women, though generally feeble-brained, are essential for the proper functioning of society

Browns and disableds? I think not

Slow and steady

Actually, working in a summer camp for disableds was probably the most rewarding toil experience of my life desu, even though I had to mop up their shit and piss from the bathroom floor because they didn't know how to aim properly

>give up on Bazball
>play actual proper Test cricket with a more measured approach to risk
>win comfortably

Now who woulda thunk it

>>149394996
Games going to be a draw

>>149394961
>he'll probably be going after the disabled once he's done with that

he's already been going after zachy for years lmao

ton partnership up

>>149395006
bodied that freak

>>149395006
>he's already been going after zachy for years
GONE GOTTEM

>>149395006
lmao gottem

>>149395006
pulverised that runt

>>149394999
>t. jeet

>>149395009
Waugh was a great captain

>>149395006
game
set
match

That’s way too many (yous) for that, very strange

>>149395014
>>149395016
>>149395017
>>149395023
>>149395026
samefag

We're is koli?

they're too close for it to be samefagging, even using different devices. Keep seething spacky.

>>149395049
Ran like a coward

>>149395036

Got them on a string lads

Skiddy pies

Internet has gone down at work, so now I have an excuse for sitting here doing nothing

>>149395062
this hits a bit too close

What happened to india?

>>149395081
got independence

Alright who’s gonna win

>>149395081
What do you mean? They are winning

>>149395062
gay
>>149395084
gay
>>149395088
straight

Gross

If the ball got lodged between the batteryman's visor and helmet, could he run over the boundary for a six or would that dismiss himself?

Probably get called a dead ball

i am the biggest lover of israel in this thread

Even bumrash can’t take a wicket

>>149395127
he'd be out obstructing the fielder unless he tried to take it off then he'd be out for handling the ball

DROPPED THE TENDULKAR-ANDERSON

>>149395129
What's their average?

>>149395139
No me.

DROPPED THE KUMBLE-GOUGH

Steve getting absolutely rinsed on bbc for this

I've had a couple of balls lodged in my helmet while crossing the boundary iykwim haha

>>149395156
i wouldn't mind being rinsed by BBC haha

England are well on target now and the met office were clearly obfuscating the truth

The people have rejected Steve from Southampton and have voted for Bazball

are you out for handling the ball if your willy accidentally wraps itself around the ball in a knot

>>149395173
The people don't know what they want

>>149394829
>>149394996
ah yes the traditional test innings run rate of between 4 (3.9 rounded up ) and 5

Fuck siraj is a wanker

top tier shithousery

a bloke asked me about bazball once because he saw my england test shirt and was surprised when i verbally laid a big poo on it. i said it was a cover for mentally weak batting.

>>149395156
lol

>>149395156
they hated him because he told the truth

siraj getting a bit uppity lads. he should focus his energy into not being shit, might get him some more wickets

Siraj always looks indignant
Idk what the word means exactly it just feels right

who's winning

Why don't the other Indian bowlers just chuck it like Bumrah does surely they'd get more wickets that way?

Big Zachy and not-so-big Benny both going to get Hundreds then England will lose

drawchads... where is this much promised rain?

gonna go get a meal deal and a calippo anyone want owt?

>>149395221
Monster energy "The Doctor" flavour, bag of hula hoops and a wispa please lad

honestly not sure about investing in my pension at this rate
with all this euthanasia positivity movement I reckon they'll be giving me a lethal injection before I can take it out

>>149395226
Just never give anyone your power of attorney then they need your consent to kill you

>>149395231
in 40 years it'll probably have gone down the rabbit hole
we will all be on the conveyor belt and stripped for parts

>>149395197
He was prolly just trying to feign interest in something you like and you definitely have autism.
>>149395226
One (1) can only hope.

why wouldn't you embrace a painless, quiet, and somewhat dignified death? genuinely confused, fuck I'll take yours if you don't want

how you feeling after the first session bongbros

>>149395237
LOL YEA it'll be like Futurama where you can just walk into a suicide booth and pay 25p

>>149394866
>>149394876
Imagine Duckett & James Taylor

>>149395242
People against the assisted dying bill have never known anyone with a life changing chronic condition and believe that it will give doctors free reign to kill anyone they think is taking up a bed for too long.

>>149395204
kek

Mad how hard wispas mog Cadbury's flagship chocolate bar, the dairy milk.

mad how bueno mogs them both

Wispa is peak but I do like an Aero

>>149395281
for me its minstrels

having a grire lunch. why do people enjoy eating rocket? it's so bitter

no such thing as a dignified death, only going to heaven (dying when he wills it) or hell (letting your family talk you into killing yourself for the inheritance)

Can't go wrong with a bit of Lindt. Especially Lindt balls. Mmm yummy choccy balls.

>>149394961
>women
he was mad at them because he trie to play some office politics but got outsmarted
he probably still tries to play politics but is slowly realising he's not that good at it

Looking good mate

>>149395332
>b*rd v HR lady
I remember these episodes

what year did Aussies start putting GOD at the end of people or team names they like
cumGOD
BroncGODS
tipGOD

>>149395186
when I wrote that post it was just over 3, they saw the first hour out and then started to make hay.

sending abusive texts to my ex

>>149395356
Tell her that her new boots dont suit her

>>149395365
>>149395365
>>149395365

>>149395363
>her

>>149395367
wow how very punctual of you anon

>>149395368
Tell him that haircut makes him look like a girl with bad boots

>>149395380
This

>>149395237
It’ll be like Logan’s Run you’ll volunteer for expiration as part of your 30th birthday celebrations

>>149395321
https://youtu.be/sjrdanK4LSY?si=KVZjPSm--F6GU5-m

>>149395332
>>149395350
I won that battle desu, my grievance was upheld and now I can get promoted without having to give up my comfy wfh contract

>>149395438
I do not care for this ending. Plx rewrite and >we will film it again k thx bye.