Thread 149395365

Day 5 of Headingley Test:

scores at lunch:
ENGLAND 465. & 117/0.
v INDIA 471. & 364.

England need 254 runs to win, with rain perhaps looming.

That zooider post thing really struck home, going to try and turn things around and i'll start by quiting 4chins

>>149395383
See you tomorrow mate

Where did all the Indian flags go

Just tomorrow in toil then I’m off lads literally going to jizz myself

Hit loneliness for 6
Post in /cric/ daily
No replies?
Shit up /hoc/ with irrelevant posts

YFO

New thread being on time really threw me off but I can appreciate a change of pace
>>149395368
>>149395375
>>149395380
>>149395389
>>149395411
>>149395424

Hit HR ladies for 6

the female landlord's still btfoing you though

>covers coming on
drawchads we rise

>>149395457
Not really, she hasn't raised my rent in 5 years
She doesn't sort any of the maintenance issues, but I think that's a fair trade for not having the rent increases

>paying rent
What are you, poor? Buy a house

will shitdia ever take another wicket again?

>>149395493
haha

Hey lads just got in whats going on?

Uh oh there’s been a fine drizzle

>>149395483
Not sure it's in my financial interest to do so right away, as I'm paying £7.5k per year in rent and don't have to pay any extra in maintenance

If I got a mortgage, the interest repayments and maintenance costs would likely exceed £7.5k per year desu

That said, I'd like to buy one ASAP, just need to decide where to live, and whether I want to buy one in cash or max out my affordability for a comfier place

>>149395493
kek elite image

Decided I don't like Pant

>>149395483
Nah, it'll be too expensive a setback in my end goal to leave and go to a better country

all of that is a bunch of cope btw
the real reason is he's terrified of talking to an estate agent on the phone or irl and wants all interaction to be done by text or email only (fears he'll be badly outnegotiated and that will shatter his self-delusion that he's some brainful exeter educated tarq)
t. blog subscriber

>>149395520
skirts might be more your style

>>149395534
Did have to phone an estate agent recently to enquire about a property I was vaguely interested in
As expected, they kept phoning me up afterwards about other properties I had no interested in, and then started leaving me arsey voicemails when I ignored their calls
Slimey shithouses, the lot of them

both of these teams suck

business idea: a 40 over ball that isn't shiny.

>>149395534
Optimal solution is him and zeebee moving in together (obviously). I'd watch that... at the very least it's bound to be better than the two /cric/ produced dramas currently on screen.

There's finally a weirdly cheap and comfy looking property near Oxford which I could buy in cash

But I'm also finally feeling settled in rural Worcestershire and wondering if I should just buy a comfier home here and stay for good

Decisions decisions decisions

what's the point of buying when there's no Mrs. Bard

>>149395558
Reckon if I was a batsman I would go over to the conversation whenever India were requesting a change of ball.
Just drop a few comments in and keep everyone honest really.

>>149395576
I'm wondering if I should admit something to /cric/

there is probably something seriously wrong with a property worth only 220K or whatever the current status is around oxford

>>149395587
go on mate

Bard finally embracing her womanhood

Who’s winning

>>149395601
England

>>149395601
Paul Reiffel.

I think its time everyone here publicly admitted that Crawley is a good batsman

feeling a particularly henious, sloppy bad light coming on

>>149395591
Yeah I can't really figure out why it's so cheap, but there obviously must be a reason
Imagine it must need a lot of cash spent on it, but I can't see anything too wrong with it from the photos

>>149395596
I'll muse on it

>>149395619
Maybe he's actually good when he's not trying to go at a 120 SR

so bard either
1. got engaged
2. is divorced
3. has a bf or husband / has come out as gay
which is it?

>>149395651
Bard was killed in 2021 and we've been talking to the HR lady this whole time

reckon bard lost his testicles in a boarding school hazing accident

>>149395651
probably 2
he was raging against women every post at one point (proper incel level) - maybe that was when it happened

>>149395651
Not quite any of those

>>149395663
As if a humble (upper) lower middle class ethnic Irishman like me would have gone to boarding school

>>149395601
England currently getting closer to winning, but India will win if they get 10 wickets

why should i waste my time watching this? england will win easily

i dont pay attention to pakipaddle much these days. qrd on these new openers for englel?

>>149395670
In my defence, have you ever met a woman?
Case closed, your honour

Bard got turned into a skinsuit back when he got murdered in London a couple years back, disappeared for a while right after blogging about coming in

>>149395651
bard has a gf. I called this several months ago btw and it's basically confirmed here >>149395676 and will further confirm it by not acknowledging this post

this is why he's not as active on /cric/ as he was

>>149395687
You should watch for the thrilling anticipation of rain

One day someone will develop an AI that removes certain commentators in real time.
Wouldn't be too hard to train it to detect the different commentators since we can already split an audio track by instrument with AI.
Obviously too processing intensive right now for home PC's but one day.

I get it, like noise cancelling headphones but only for certain commentators voices

>>149395711
These kinds of things are being held back by the commentators union

Sibley fully sibbled
If Pears can just take a further 9 wickets without conceding 13 runs, then we might just pull off an unlikely victory

>>149395720
Yeah exactly. Would also be kino to just turn the commentators off completely so you just have ground and crowd noise

England is playing very well

So has Stokes been vindicated on bowling first?

>>149395688
>Duckett
Pretty solid in all formats. Never leaves, scores pretty quick. Englel's best opener since Cook/Strauss retired.
>Crawley
Pretty shit outside of a good innings on occasion. Convinced he has nudes of Rob Key or does sexual favors to keep being selected.

Lads if England wins this 5-0, what are we thinking for the Ashes?

>>149395752
I think so. It was obvious in hindsight they should’ve had a decent first innings lead if not for some retarded shot choices. Indian attack is one bloke and he’s getting tired and uninterested and they decided not to win yesterday when it might’ve rained today so they didn’t declare. England deserves the win

>>149395772
4-0 again in our favour.

tired of humanity
any alternatives

>>149395772
Australia 5-0

MIIIIIISSSSSTER CRAWLEY

WHAT GOES ON IN YOUR HEAD

Just tuning in. Lads are doing well.

>>149395772
5-0 home victory

5 centuries in 55 games is pretty bad lol

How many overs are we going to lose with the rain?

>>149395772
5-0 australia and an end to the farce called bazball

>>149395798
really can’t see how England could lose it front here

its looking pretty dark out there aye

England going to be cruelly denied by the rain here. So close as well, only 230 runs away.

Dangerous conditions these someone could get hurt in this light

brb

>tune in
>storm clouds moving in
oops

Zacky C half-ton up

>no first slip
retards.

That'll brighten Siraj up a bit for sure.

What did Siraj say to Ducky?

>>149395842
>are you really that short?

>>149395842
do not redeem boundary bloody benchod bastard

This might break them

>>149395842
>ohhh i will accuse you of racism saaar just like i did in australia saaaaaaaaaar

Bard is a cocksucker

>>149395842
>you are bloody goose, not a duck, sir

Why doesn't the greatest bowler in the world simply take a wicket?

>>149395859
>I learned to hate them

>will further confirm it by not acknowledging this post
dear oh dear got him cooked here lmao

only 200 runs left. umm jeetbros??

>>149395859
DO NOT REDEEM FINGER

>>149395864
because warnie's dead you insensitive cunt

>>149395842
saar please do the needful and reverting back to you.

>>149395880
only we can redeem finger in this country

that was a sexy sweep shot

>>149395884
not an excuse, lose to win

went to gym at lunch and glad to see these two still in
love a solid open

did Ben Duckett expose the leave as a cowardly '''''''shot'''''' that's been completely unnecessary for over a century?

Duckett adores that reverse sweep lol

>they're going to get it
BASED
A
S
E
D

In hindsight India are probably feeling a bit silly poolapsing in back to back innings on a complete road

>>149395896
England better prepare for a few of these this summer

like imagine in football if the goalkeeper was just like nah bro I'm going to play the leave
lmao it really did need bazball to wake these boomers up

>crr: 4.34
uhhh based and kino department

>>149395915
David Seaman played the leave against lobbed shots.

>>149395902
He just left one.

>>149395915
yeah but it only works on these dead bong home series wickets
still, enjoying watching pajeets suffer

>>149395864
Chuck us a tinnie there cunt.

Not sure the Sir Alistair Cook test cricket algebraic equation would allow one to win this game

NICE CATCHING RETARD

Siraj deserves an apology from Jaiswal.

classic poolapse. you love to see it.

how many catches has jaiswal dropped this match lmao
it must be like 4 or 5 now

>>149395944
Qrd?

JUST DROPPED THE ANDERSON TENDULKAR TROPHY MATE

the humble double hit

God this is pakistan tier fielding

Rumour has it that Duckett was never taught numbers, so he is unaware when he is in the 90s. He is apparently surprised when the crowd loudly cheers on occasion.

>a very simple straightforward chance
lmao, absolutely buried.

I love how quickly third worlders turn to shit once the slightest bit of adversity pops up.

>>149395934
nigga looks like the half life logo

JUST DROPPED THE TREMLETT MONGIA PENTANGULAR

Business Idea: Bilateral trophies are named based on the current holder.
E.g. all of Australia's bilateral series trophies would start with the Australian players name since we currently hold all bilateral series trophies.

>more byes
holy kek pant sucks

Currently reading Babel, or the Necessity of Violence (2022)

>hundred with a reverse sweep
just not cricket
shouldn't count

*be's going to the top of the world test championship table*

>>149395972
stig esque lore
>>149395981
malnurition

>>149395987
All trophies are named after the most brutal European colonizers, as a lesson that cricket is all fun and games.

>>149395997
disgraceful really.

COVERS COMING ON LOOMS

based hobbit

Cowardly Joe Root-esque performance from Zachy C here

I'm happy for the squishy faced midget. onya oompa

>>149396002
>stig esque lore
kek

>>149395998
*deducts 90% of your points*
heh nothin personnel

It’s Zimbabwe’s turn this cycle. Once every southern hemisphere side has won it you can have one.

Rain might save India here I reckon

Based hobbit

England aren't even halfway yet. Chill out.

India definitely will start exaggeratedly drying the ball now and making noises about going off.

Ton up for Ducky

Looking good for a double ton partnership

They were saying about Crawley not doing well in second innings in tests but in county this season it became a joke that he’d only turn up in second innings for Kent

Seethraj still giving runs as his zakat

>>149396029
>0 wickets lost
do the maths ausbro

>>149396037
GOTTEM GONE

>inside jokes about county cricket
Pussy repellent

seethraj

>>149396029
>0 wickets
>179 to go
Bogans struggling with basic maths again

>>149396041
He's smiling

kek siraj trying to be intimidating lol

Why does jeetraj run his mouth so much. He's a Ganges tier bowler

going lidl
not taking any requests / orders sorry

Siraj always looks like he's crying

Draw still hovering around 3/1. If they go off they could be off for a while.

Nice draw, lads. See you when the next test starts.

shitraj giving eyes like he's steyn lmao

>>149396050
>bowls
>gets hit for boundaries
>call the batsmen a bechod
>bowls again harder
>gets hit for boundaries
>calls the batsmen a bechod
Like fucking clockwork

whats the weather forecast?

>>149396057
oi bro get us a butter chicken and a vindaloo i'll rate ya 5 stars if ya do

the reason the correct way is runs / wickets is because the / is a division and you can easily calculate the average parntership
not surprised aus posters struggle with this concept as they grew up being brainlets who randomly decided to reverse the order

>>149396057
Cornetto.

Cowardly Indians doing a rain dance

>>149396073
depressing

>>149396073
I’m about 3 miles away from Headingley and not raining here so shouldn’t last long

I like Siraj ngl
he's the classic heel role and he knows it. everyone loves to hate him and that leads to kino moments

>>149396077
So Stokes took 66-4 in the first innings? Only one off a for-five.

>>149396090
:(
>>149396093
:)

>>149396057
farmers union and a sausage roll

>>149396095
Yes England have been loving him dish out boundaries. Was at the game Sunday and Brooks 6 into the crowd was kino

>>149396077
you use stone to measure weight

>umbrella status: up
this is not looking good

>>149396077
anyone know which country currently holds the ashes

>>149396124
Headingley is high up in Leeds but should pass soon

>>149396077
>I need an arbitrary symbol to remember that I can divide

>>149396122
So do Australians over 50.

>>149396124
trip on JFK iykwim haha

>>149396141
No they dont

>>149396077
based truthie

Division is for the cowardly. I only respect multiplication.

>>149396142
hi

>>149396142
kek appreciated this post lad :)

I can't wait for Konstats to smash your lil dibbly dobbly bowlers around the MCG

>>149396144
They do.

Addition is the only maths required in life everything else is affectation

>>149396151
Makes sense Canucks would
>if we import 500,000 Indians in 5 years how much will this multiply the prices of housing in Ontario?

>>149396142
micksperg getting dangerously close to his first ever funny post here. honestly tempted to give him this desu as I don't want to be waiting until 2034

>>149396157
They dont

micksperg can be surprisingly quick and clever sometimes, which is surprising given his general character

why do you need to learn maths when everyone has a calculator on their phone and AI will do the theoretical stuff in the future
literally no point lmao

>>149396168
What if I told you that wasn't micksperg

>>149396182
I need to calculate the perfect multi that will lose by one leg causing me to inform the missus we won't be eating meat this week

>Umpires' umbrellas down, covers coming off
poobros? what is this bhenchod weather? they can't redeem the cricket like this

>>149396156
Pedo tash

>>149396156
He's never been tested against a decent bowler
Yes he can do it against Bumrah, but will he be able to do it against Tongue and Woakes?
I'm not so sure

>Day 5
>0/180
What sort of road is this?

Rain during cricket happened because we as a species turned our backs on animist deities. Praying to nature actually connects us spiritually to issues that actually matter such as the weather, not dumb shit like oh can I have this type of sex or not.

>>149396195
Sunday was the funniest the India batsmen just walking off as Bashir is about to bowl. Absolutely hilarious watching them piss themselves the second a drop of rain hits them.

>>149396204
Kohlis revenge for being forced out the side

>>149396204
Unacceptable, that's what it is. Daniel is turning in his grave rn frfr.

>>149396200
It's actually an attempt to look older to avoid being preyed on by the senior players

>>149396204
The Dual Carriageway Authority should hire these groundskeepers haw haw

Absolutely no chance there is enough dry play to get 190 more. India aren't getting 10 wickets however

>>149396187
spacky seethes a fair bit at mick’, maybe it’s due to this narcissistic attention seeking ego getting hurt that someone else is getting flack.

>>149396230
i wasn't talking about wbbl

>>149396247
who the fuck is spacky

What's his problem?

>>149396136
You were right.

>>149396207
t.william anjin
based shinto enjoyer

not zachy. think you're just obsessing over him tbqhwy

>who the fuck is spacky
based cazzie

Gill is the captain?

Reckon Crawley needs to up his strike rate a bit aye
Probably not the innings to statpad, but I could be wrong

smacky > spacky iykwim haha

/cric/ is at best 5 people

start bazzing the cunt now y/n?

Not surprised a blowie doesn't know who zachy is. His personality doesn't take off anywhere else. That's why his attempt to transition to r/bouldering failed, he wasn't getting any upboats.

Thank fuck there is no kiwi faggot posters here right now, they get on my nerves those poofs

>>149396278
based

>>149396276
Schizo misdirection selfpost?

They’re going to have to memeslog that was always the plan whatever, it was a false-flag so they would have to.
>gone
CREEEEEPPPPYYY FUCK

India swapped the ball during the break.

Halfway has been completed

Creepy Crawley

GOTTEM GOWN

collapse

zack is a complete and utter retard but this general is his, he is the defining character of this community.

>ball moves slightly
>zacky c is nicks it to slip
same old story

Pope will go on about 8

COLLAPSE OF THE CENTURY HOW WILL ENGLEL EVER RECOVER

Crawley shouldn't be anywhere near a cricket pitch

England going to bat for a cowardly draw.

GONE
GOTTEM
FUCK OFF BACK TO GREGGS CUNT

>>149396292
Jesus, it swung a bit

le get his average up then get out man

OH NO INDIA BROS WE GOT TO COCKY

poolapse incoming

We should put a nightwatchman in imo.

Zac "Bowen" Crawley

>>149396311
>implying that a public school tarq like that has ever gone to greggs unironically

reckon nepalbro needs to start turning up for the real games of cricket instead of just his minnowbash games

kek they took the bait of getting the worst batsperson out
just means we can bazz to the target sooner now

I heard that people in India look down on people with disabilities because they believe they must have done something terrible in a past life to be afflicted with them. Pretty weird how belief systems can be used to dehumanise people like that.

>>149396333
and dutchbro and trinibro and turkbro

>>149396327
JFs blur our class system into one incongruent stereotype.

Is there a required amount of overs to be bowled today or can India stall for time if it ends up getting close?

could never call a discount butanese my ***bro***

>>149396344
There were 66 more overs to be bowled after lunch.
You're going to see some shit later today when they realise the rain won't save them

>>149396344
53

I will always say batsman not batter. I dont feel comfortable saying batter.

>>149396359
>>149396360
What happens if they really slow it down to run 1+ hour over time so bad light stops play?

>>149396341
I don't think turkbros appearances correlate at all with live games of cricket, he just shows up at times

>>149395859
rats

>>149396371
I battered you mum last night champ iykwim

I punch nazis and people who don't use "batsperson".

JFC how has Zack "Bowen" Crawley played 54 tests!?

memes of this test have been phenomenal already
>prasidh gets wickets because batters mistime or mishit the ball due to excitment of scoring runs from him

>>149396377
same thing

>>149396377
t. Ben “Gay-basher basher” Stokes

turkbros a faggot

>>149396341
Is he actually Turkish or from some other background?

>>149396391
He died, it’s just the cat posting now

>>149396391
Are you insinuating you had sex with him?

turkbro is a white australian I believe

>>149396394
He's a hidden Armenian.

Fucking called it >>149396307

>>149396376
but england didn't lose last night iykwim haha

GOTTEM GONE GET FUCKED

>>149396307
god

OH NO POMS IT'S A COLLAPSE

>>149396406
fucking hell lol

>>149396307
no fuckin way

engbros.... not like this

Yeah, it's starting to look a bit dark out there now lads. Probably best come off for everyone's safety.

The popes gone

GONE

FUCK OFF

POPE HAS BEEN DISMISSED

Close enough to go for a meme slog to win it. Come on, pommie bastards.

>>149396408
To make it clearer: I deposited my baby-batter into her, iykwim champ

OLLIE POOP
OLLIE POOP
OLLIE POOP

>>149396307
Well played anon

>>149396385
Stuart Macgill got 90% of his wickets when he delivered rank full tosses or wide long hops.

England coaching staff: “Lets lose a few wickets to Prasidh to they have to play him next match”

Crawley and Pope swapped skins to throw the visitors off.

>>149396402
meant for
>>149396426

>>149396372
The umpires start awarding penalty runs to the opposition but you could potentially still get away with the win if you had enough runs to play with as theres no explicit clause saying the umpires can just award the game to the opposition. Not sure how frequently the umpires can award penalty runs.
The ICC would fuck you though. Slow over rates can be punished with match fee fines for the players and there's also a "spirit of cricket" clause which lets them discipline further if they believe you did it to prevent a result.

They’re going to collapses aren’t they.

speaking of run chases do NOT look up the Worcestershire score

>>149396433
Baited and outsmarted.

>>149396449
>going to

>>149396307
based /cric/stradamus

>>149396451
not the mighty pears :(

>>149396447
Impressed you know about spirit of cricket.

Sheffield United supporter with the trumpet

How has Root's form been recently?

>>149396466
Yeah, I think this is... not good.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87m2d6cV4F0

>>149396480
>pyjama cricket
No soul let alone spirit in it.

Think I'll have daal for dinner

>>149396451
>>149396463
Think the plucky Pears bid to stay in Div 1 might be over
Usually we only last one year in the top division, so we were already on borrowed time

>>149396480
p e r f i d i o u s

White Aussie here not Indian

>>149396495
>le soul
>le spirit
>le heavenly father

>>149396499
are you going for India?

The science of the game

>>149396499
>dear Vishnu please give us more rain so the Britishers do not redeem the test

>>149396500
Shame. Have they still been having flooding at their home ground?

How is Prasidh suddenly decent out of nowhere?

test cricket: *appears*
zachary christopher rhys bowen: *disappears*

>>149396529
It was flooded in the winter but we had a very mild spring and haven't had any matches called off this year because of it

Pitches were quite tricky bowler's tracks in the first few games, but it's the same for both teams

Still think this apparent need to move grounds is a crock of shite desu

Do you reckon Duckett’s pads are kids size?

I hate when you have a funny concept for a joke but just can't find the wording for it
Just gave up on a rip snorter

>>149396549
entire market for his size for adults in 90% of the global population who play this sport

I should do that more often myself although it’s sometimes good to throw the ideas out there see if anyone else can work with it

How many trumpetnonces are there?

Uh oh, not looking good for England

GONE

>rain
Fucking shit weather

>>149396580
Anyone who takes a musical instrument to a sporting event is desperate for attention it's amazingly sad

>>149396561
I see what you mean

>>149396606
Why are English people that bit taller than Yanks? We both have pretty poor diets I'd say

Can you imagine being picked for the XI out of 1.3b+ cricket obsessed people and you can't even take regulation catches, causing your team to consistently lose from winning positions?

>>149396614
Murricans are mutts spawned from loads of manlet countries.

Reckon Siraj needs to reassert himself on this match with a withering glare.

>>149396614
they're wider

>>149396480
Won them a world cup. Worth it really.

>>149396580
>>149396596
>noo you can’t have fun in the crowds
Boring fucks the pair of you

>>149396614
This >>149396622 and also you’ll note that the early settlers in America were religious fanatics, they’re often quite small. Also don’t think their diet is good, they don’t know what five a day is

GONE GOT HIM
STUMPS EVERYWHERE
WHAT A DELIVERY

>>149396643
Yeah mate this guy is definitely the life of the party

>>149396647
five meals a day

>>149396643
Have fun watching the sport and chatting with your friends not wearing a massive hat that says "look at me, everyone must look at me, not the game, look at me"

>>149396652
>seething because some lad brought his trumpet to a game to have some fun while watching the cricket

fucks sake Elgar gone

>>149396663
Its as bad as the retarded drumming that the subcontinent fans do
Just noise pollution

>>149396669
edward elgar? I thought he died like 100 years ago.

>>149396671
The only thing people should be allowed to bring is a newspaper, an improving book, and pleasant conversation.

Duckett is absolutely on fire

>>149396596
not seeing it

>>149396684
10 pack of boddingtons or nothing

>>149396684
Take only memories, leave only footprints

>>149396671
>Musical instruments, singing, chatting about things other than cricket
>CRICKET HAS FALLEN, MILLIONS MUST FIELD

>>149396707
no but April May

Most overrated things:
>fireworks
>nightclubs and loud bars
>tattoos
>musical instruments at cricket grounds

having been to a lot of different sporting events I've long been able to discern whether someone follows sport but has never, ever been to a game in person more than a novelty handful of times if at all.

>AHHHHH WHY ARE PEOPLE HAVING FUN AT A LIVE SPORTING EVENT??????!!!
why is /cric/ like this?

wallop

Reverse sweeps for six on day FIVE of a test match. Game's gone.

>>149396729
It’s full of autists who never attend games so it’s essentially cuck rage watching others have all the fun

>>149396729
maybe T20 might be more your speed fella

How tf are you meant to counter that reverse sweep??

>>149396740
What days are appropriate for this then?

if i were asked to use one word to describe ben duckett i would use the word 'nuggety'

>>149396720
Add to this
Music with bass
>Alcohol
>Marijuana
>Loud engines
>Motorcycles

>>149396748
Fielding and bowling, typically.

>>149396721
I’ll tell you what I don’t like, loud music prior to kickoff at any kind of rugby. Actually any music even soft it’s shit, that’s the prematch time to settle in say hello to your neighbours look at the team lists in the programme and chat about what to expect, and decide if you need an ice cream or a wee or anything before kickoff

>>149396751
>>149396720
alri shut-ins

>>149396748
Have you tried not bowling like shit?

Root batting far too slowly, Duckett needs to run him out

>>149396749
Day 2. Before lunch on day 3 absolute MAX.

>>149396755
stadiums shouldn't be using generic music* at any point, especially not after points have been accrued. let the crowd noise ring out naturally.
(* if a team has a regular tune they come to at home games, it's ok. my football team uses a Mike Oldfield song.)

>>149396720
>>149396751
Very good

>forcing shartul to pick up the ball of the floor rather than just passing it to him
funny umpires

>>149396746
>might
well yeah it is, I'm not some 50yo bore lmao

Every sporting event should be preceded by Abide with Me like the FA Cup, then polite silence for the duration

You now remember Kruger van Wyk

>>149396669
He died almost a century ago, let it go mate
Big fan of Pomp and Circumstance though

If I were england I would simply hit every ball for 6 and the game would be done in 4 overs

>>149396774
Yes of course that’s fine that’d be entrance music letting the crowd know it’s about to be on

>>149396774
100% agree.
It's tantamount psychological manipulation to try to make people enjoy themselves. It serves very little benefit for any attendees besides the drunkards who want to sing "Sweet Caroline" or some other terrible karaoke song.

>>149396669
>>149396785
Oh sorry somebody beat me to the punch of this hilarious joke already >>149396676
, sorry

Any alcoholics in?

each cricketsman should come out to the pitch individually with WWE-style entrances
apart from Australia who come out as a stable using this tune:
https://youtu.be/rVPZQ9BMg-M?si=79bavj82XHawVO9h

>>149396755
I agree completely. Its like organizers have a dream of removing any and all society from an event.

Also, I would ban music from supermarkets, malls, gyms, and other public spaces.

Don't wanna go to work tomorrow. I want to be a NEET again

>>149396796
Are we supposed to come out together when we are batting too?

>>149396797
I understand exactly where you’re coming from and although I don’t necessarily completely agree with you I don’t disagree either

>>149396807
Yes, you have to walk out to a duet

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRWEDrYiC6w

>>149396807
yes, the other eight are the heel managers who distract the umps

>>149396793
if a joke is good enough to tell once, it's good enough to tell twice.

I dont sing or dance, I will never sing or dance

>>149396811
I think we should, as a society, try it for a month. Just to see how it is.

>>149396794
fear it could be me

>>149396817
iykwim haha

>>149396794
My weekend alcohol consumption has doubled ever since I medicated away my acid reflux.

>>149396828
haha ikwym haha iykwim haha

The Assassination of Bazball by the Coward Joe Root

It’s over. Just hand India the Anderson-Broad Trophy.

DEAD GONE
HES KICKED THE DUCKETT

GOTTEM

COLLAPSE INCOMING

GOTTEM

poolapse

149 is just as imperious as a 99.

GONE
O
N
E

GONE HE’S GOT HIM YES

He's gone

Lads its on Kayo, you don't need to watch a delayed free stream

FUCKEDETT

GONE GOT HIM
FIRST BALL
WHAT A DELIVERY

can't help but notice a lot of cuckstamp flags have suddenly appeared

Legit question. Does Duckett have any genetic issues? His face is a bit odd, so dwarfism? Foetal alcohol syndrome?

WHAT THE FUCK ENGLAND IS BOTTLING THIS.

FUCK SAKE >STREAM

BROKE
BROKE
BROKE
BROKE
BROKE

any rain about haha

HE'S ON A HATTIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

brainlet mong

MARRY ME SHARDUL

poolaspe is ON

Very very dark out there now lads. Worried about all of the players' safety.

Said this morning I had no faith in the lads. This was always a loss. Especially as Root will continue to bat like an old woman

few dark clouds overhead

99 and a golden duck incredible

>India lost 7/16
>Then lost 6/16 the next innings
>Still going to win
Tip top keks. Stick to white ball cricket, bazbros.

HAT TRICK

That's a big oof

GONE GOT HIM
OH YES HE'S GOT THE HATTRICK
WHAT A DELIVERY FROM THAKUR

Get that workphone off silent britbros

GOTTEM GONE, HE'S GONE YES HE'S GONE, IT'S A HATTRICK ON HIS BIRTHDAY
NOT YET HE HASN'T

HE HASN'T TAKEN A HATTRICK ON PETER SIDDLE'S BIRTHDAY

oh no non o bros i dont like this

work just homing pigeoned

Ok Ben just keep up that 300 strike rate

GOT HIM GONE
WHAT A TERRIBLE SHOT
OH DEAR ENGLAND ARE IN TROUBLE NOW

Funny old game, cricket

bindia just unleashed the 4th innings specialist, we've got this

Fuck sake...

That was out. Smith will need to bat well.

HAHA WTF

REVIEW TIMER HAS STOPPED
REVIEW TIMER HAS STOPPED
REVIEW TIMER HAS STOPPED
REVIEW TIMER HAS STOPPED

Stokes faking a hand injury to try and induce a pooview.

Notice the thread has got a lot smellier

>DRS timer stops to give them more time to discuss
KEK

Really REALLY don't like the Toyota logo on the top of the back of the English vests

GONE
GOT HIM OH HE'S GONE HE'S OUT
WHAT A RIP SNORTER OF A DELIVERY
THIS GAME HAS BEEN TURNED ON ITS HEAD

>>149396959
>>149396967
They were quicker than the DRS timer.

>>149396966
Sorry about that. Had a big dinner.

>>149396981
Well yeah, it stopped counting down

>sporting
why not just say sport

Pant is a horrendous keeper lmao.

fuuuckin ell

What are England trying to accomplish here?

"Sport" has been ruined by people who don't realise its the plural form also well as singular.

Reminder that the entire coaching staff and the captain are peewees, the same nation that beat India 3-0 at home in 2024.

As with every match England play in any Sport, they will win this in spite of their players not because of them

>>149397006
Saving test cricket. They saved it in 2005 with the Ashes, now they're doing it again with the curries.

cricketing is one of the best sporting activities

>>149397017
>forgetting who defeated India in the inaugural wtcf

>>149397012
Do you mean like sheep?

business idea: Australia adopts New Zealand naming conventions, so Tasmania is renamed South Island and the bigger island is North Island.

>>149397044
meant for
>>149397017

>>149397049
but we have more than two islands.

>>149397057
so does New Zealand.

>>149397049
We just call it the mainland.

>>149397049
Australia isn't an island, its a continent fella
You will never have this status LOL

>>149397070
more like an incontinent loool

>>149397012
Singular for noun, plural for adjective. Then you've going the verb form and it all gets complicated.

>>149397078
landlet

>>149397070
Nah, the continental plate includes some of Indonesia. New Zealand has stolen our thunder by being a continent, but there are a couple of islands from their continent near us, so we can claim them as well if needed.

been a while since i seen a quick stumping in test cricket. why is this

>>149397103
geometry is for nerds

>poms saved by rain
it's all so tiresome

No way this game ends, could be so much closer to winning but Joe Root thinks it's Day 1

>>149397108
keepers can't keep any more.

>>149397117
so true

>Groundsmen just casually stroll the covers on
What happened to sprinting like the Aussie groundsmen do?

>>149397117
Players gonna play

Duckett has kinda carried the English team for the last 12 months

Ben NOT HAPPY about the homophobia itt

FUN FACT ALERT: Harry Brook is the first batter to be dismissed for 99 in the first innings and a golden duck in the second innings.

Was trying to find that mainland cheese ad where he goes ef new zillund is made ap ef islands, esn’t Australia the mainland?

Leeds lad, how's the rain by you?

>>149396881
>Genetic issues
He has Irish genes, does that count?

>>149397157
Makes him likeable

>covers come on
>thread dies
huh

>Stands completely empty
Was the jokes about England being full of Indians just a meme? Would expect them to be packing the stands.

>>149397206
I’m catching up on global geopolitics

Im tucked into bed

>>149397208
Work called everyone

>>149397213
tldr america dindu nuffin

>>149397216
tuck off then haha

>>149397213
Give us your analysis, I am bit behind these days.

>>149397216
same haha

>>149397213
biggest global story of the day

Someone tell this red-vested official to get his hand out of his bum.

don't worry lad we got this

>>149397253
>>149397253
early cunt edition for rained off game and dead thread