Thread 149555880

2nd Test, Birmingham, July 02 - 06, 2025,
Bindia's tour of England
*bowls*

YFO

>test cricket
*appears*
>zachy rhys clive bowen
*disappears*

*impeccably observes the anthems*

Indian anthem would be better in English

Indian anthem would be better on mute

Looks a full days play clearing morning skies

shan't be watching trundlers hopelessly lofting the ball down until eventually they are gifted a wicket

>small boundary
>Girly game

>Wayne Larkins
No offense but literally who

Umpires have let Stokes know the cheque bounced

>bowl first
Why

>>149555944
To win

WICKET

I am here

GONE GOTTEM FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!

>>149555944
in bazball you have to always lean into the meme. if people get angry about it, you have to do it again and again. this is nu-punk, this is bob vylan, this is bazball

>>149555923
It's getting ridiculous now there's two manufactured boundaries

>>149555944
bazball is about playing like it's a one dayer
in one dayers you chase
no ifs, no buts.

HIS NAME IS CARSE HE BOWLS LIKE ARSE

>no wickets
yeah great decision lads

Currently watching the cricket (Pears vs Hampshire)

Need Jofra around the camp to assure him that Root has had the whip taken off him and he will be treated as a person and not a bowling machine

>I'm a real fan because I'm watching FC over test cricket and I wanted you all to know this
meanwhile when Eng vs NZ is on AKA reddit the series this neek can't look away

>lions losing
kek

me? watching the test so I don't have to remind myself of that other game (spoiler: doesn't look too good for us Hampshirebros)

>>149556012
Pears weren't playing at the same time as that particular fixture
Will watch the Test tomorrow, when the FC matches are done

>>149556017
Tipping Dawson and that Indian fella to save you the match by boring it out with humble 18.62 and 24.18 strike rates

Got the Test on the radio and Lancs on YouTube (muted)

more of that

sent my gf a funny cricket clip and we both laughed

got two packets of chocolate hobnobs, a homemade white chocolate chip and salted caramel brownie in the fridge, and unlimited plunger (french press) coffee

not watching cricket with no intentions to

CUT

>>149556043
Based IPL enjoyer

Watching my TV which has a depiction of cricket on it.

nice shot that drive and to answer yesterday's queries that becomes a front foot cut if he wrists it and let's it deflect rather than hitting

We'll have a review please m8

Fucking darkie umpire didn’t give it out my finger was up

Umpball

Steve Waugh used to play front foot cuts

About time all umpires were fed into a furnace to power a supercomputer to make all the decisions accurately

Bring back home umpires

Beat the first System Shock (not remake) recently, I reckon Shodan could be a good impartial umps.

wtf is that andrex commercial lmao

>>149556077
>Woman
Think about what you are saying

>commercial
FOY

no such thing as front-foot cuts to anyone who bats above number 10, sorry

>>149556084
The TriOptimum staff call Shodan a "he", don't reckon AIs have gender anyway.

Yesterday I was arguing with the missus about kitchen paper because we call it paper towel, she accuses me of being a victim of American imperialism and I remind her she speaks English as a first language

review that

>>149556001
england India not reddit enough for you
unlike england vs new Zealand aka reddit: the series

Umpires are too reliant on the review system now. Anything that isn't blindingly obvious they can just not give and let them review and have """"umpires call"""" save them

It's called kitchen roll.

ABSOLUTELY GOTTEM

GONE
>>149555783
Wrong on the overs and about there in the score

GONE GOTTEM FUCK OFF BACK TO YOUR NAN'S DOWN THE ROAD

>1.7 RR

jfc wake me up when bazball starts

>>149556124
Dammit linked wrong post
>>149555790

>>149556127
Should be shortly before tea

go Woakes
send blokes (back to the pavilion)

>>149556114
See >>149556022
Alcoholism has addled your feeble brain and now you're repeating yourself

alcoholicism has added to my strong brain

seething neek

>>149556149
only one is me you spastic

Personally I find it inspiring that some of you are following county cricket such that I feel like following the shield cricket later this year

Woakes looking very dangerous

worry about zachy's poor organs being abused by alcohol and creatine

THAT IS OUT

Find another way to win Bindia

"""""umpire's call"""""

Woakes seething

Imagine conditions on the emerald isle are highly favourable to 76mph swing bowlers who find a consistent line and length

Did you lads see Flintoff claimed to have been offered a three-year contract by WWE about 15 years back.
Mighty surreal if he accepted but he didn't want to raise his family in the US.

Irish people have athletic genes (see: Pat Cummins, bard etc)
welshie weaklings could never

Absolutely despise the fruity little Vitality dog that they have in the ad breaks on Sky cricket coverage.

The Irishman is born with the ability to play forceful front-foot cuts
It is a gift from God, who smiles upon His Catholic children

Get Josh “Niggers” Tongue off. He’s hopeless. Should have played Atkinson instead.

>>149556229
It managed to, in the first test, confuse my 66yo dad who thought the TV was telling him a wicket was a golden duck when it wasn't.

Should of played Archer actually

>>149556239
don't think that's his real nickname haha and we don't use that word here mate

>>149556241
That caught me out a couple times too when I wasn't looking. He's a cute dog though, interesting breed

Should never have retired Anderson, he'd have 3 by now

oldmanderson shill wanting his 56yo bf in the team again I see

>>149556239
Worcestershire's Josh Tongue doesn't really waste his efforts against top-order batsmen, he prefers rabbit pie

I've decided that I am a fan of Broad commentary. He's quite a pleasant fellow

>>149556194
20mm max hangs adds the years back and more

>>149556249
Nothing wrong with that word. My grandfather’s dog was named nigger.

Corporations like using animals in adverts because then they don't need to worry about depicting a Star Trek balance of multiracial human beings and Indians in any and all settings.

>>149556283
I know a few blokes who have been nicknamed nigger. Still see some of them around today.

josh tongue my anus

bard tier shoes

A brutal knock from Nightcliff Cricket Club's Sophia Di Venuto, daughter of Tassie legend, Michael

>>149556356
What exactly are Bard tier shoes? I don't think I've ever posted anything here about the types of shoe I wear

>>149556368
Means nothing, he just has BDS.

don't need to

How would you react if you found out your daughter has her liquor licence?

really neeky ones obv

Wondering if I should buy a 4-bed townhouse and live in it alone

Only downside is the council tax implications

>>149556391
single occupant discount

>>149556399
Yeah but I'm getting that on a Band B property at the moment and for the 4-bed place I think it'd be Band D or E

Could turn a couple of rooms into an annex and AirBnB it tax free through the rent a room scheme I suppose, would probably make back the mortgage costs if I did that

>>149556380
what about is she was a massive slag that wanted to get her tits out all the time

That's me painting lads.

India should be three down if they weren’t getting umpballed

An explanatory note on the types of shoe I typically wear: Cheap ones masquerading as ok ones (Current trainers of choice? Puma Suedes, Adidas Grand Court Base 2.0)

>>149556406
i forgot pozzies celebrate christmas this time of year because it's currently winter there
fascinating culture & people

>>149556406
Phwoar

>>149556406
Matthew Hayden, his wife and his sister.

>>149556380
Liquor? I hardly know her!

>>149556433
Tongue would

>>149556404
Only negative thing about having more rooms is you end up buying more things as you don't like seeing a room you have going unused

if I had more rooms I simply wouldn't go in them

>>149556465
Only rooms you really need are kitchen, lounge room, bathroom, dunny, study, office, bedroom, smoking room, garage, wine cellar, spare bedroom, attic, rumpus room, sun room, and laundry. The rest are superfluous.

you have to use the spare rooms because otherwise nature reclaims them

houses are for neeks

why the fuck did the discontinue the best coco di mama sandwich at sainsburies?
the prosciutto and cheese one
absolute madness

right when does the sarcastic, heavily accented variations of "we'll have a bowl mate" start

>>149556477
I’ve always been disgusted by houses that put the throne and shower/bath in a single room.

>>149556508
Tory prick

>>149556511
I was going to post this or words to this effect

*bowls a wide pie*

>>149556511
why's that mate

We've let them.get away. India winning this by a considerable margin

>>149556541
Clouds dispersed and the bowling change backfired, I'd bring on a spinner now

>>149556541
Same as last week?

Yep, reckon it's a good time for a bit of spin before lunch. Get the over rate up and break the rhythm of the batspersons

dinner is served

Fuck off, Karen.

>>149556583
Nice meal Frankenstein

GOTTEM

>>149556568
Correct, India will go on to famously win this match just as they did the headingley test.

Disregard that wicket, it won't matter

>>149556583
spooky fingers mate haha

>>149556594
Lel

>>149556448
Yeah that's a good point desu

Do have some surplus shit for them, but I'd inevitably end up buying more

>>149556391
town house as in an old georgian sort of place or one of those modern "townhouses" which are just those horrific 3 floor terraces?

Who is the most overrated cricketer for England?

>>149556635
Botham

>>149556635
Bashir

>>149556647
he's a bowlsman

>>149556653
Are they not cricketers?

>>149556635
The 2005 Ashes side

Lancs actually going to win, whole afternoon to get 2 wickets

carse? more like arse. lol

>>149556635
Flintoff

>>149556709
Off yourself

>>149556678
this except for KP

>>149556635
James Anderson and Joe Root are equally overrated

>>149556635
stokes

>>149552885
reckon you only got two holes fella

lancashire going to end derby's unbeaten run after lunch

>>149556635
Stokes
>t. saw Jimmy Anderson put him in his "Mount Rushmore" of all time cricketers

>>149556635
David Gower

zachy, do your hands set off a dyson airblade?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QafT9FgO7rw
175 pence coin innit

Bit of a long lunch this

>>149556635
Ashley Giles

>>149556929
should just be two 20min breaks

Ashley Giles on TMS saying that having mental health and talking about it means you're a stronger person
But I think it makes you a weak, boring person

>>149556643
>>149556647
>>149556678
>>149556709
>>149556722
>>149556791
>>149556823
>>149556938
Now tell me why and how

>>149556950
no

>>149556950
Botham was good but touted as an elite world class all time goat level player made him overrated. You notice he rarely gets mentioned nowadays

It's unfair that Australia can't have Paul Reiffel doing umpiring on our games. We have shit cunts instead.

>>149556969
People are always talking about Beefy

Always fucking hated Billy Bowden

>>149556973
The best system was what they had where one umpire is neutral and the other umpire is at home, specifically from the county/state/province/club which is hosting so he has the advantage of knowing the local conditions be that the pitch or the weather and light levels etc also things like the windows causing glare should’ve been sorted by the umpire before the players came out

Cricket booked for August, can’t wait lads woo

Cricket is on now lad

I'm here now. You may begin the test.

>>149557029
Question 1 (40%)
Outline why the LBW rule still has a place in the modern game in no more than 20 words and no fewer than 18

>>149557029
What did you do for Canada Day?

>>149557002
yeah but you know who had a sook about that

>>149557029
What are your thoughts if any with regards to the boundary rope?

>>149557054
I went for a big early morning run/calisthenics. Then was downtown for the morning/early afternoon because I was a volunteer for the parade/downtown events. I got absolutely cooked in the heat so I just went home and did nothing after lol It was a good time though, lots of people out and about. A lot more busy compared to the last few Canada days, which is good.

>>149557083
I remember a bunch of no balls getting called at a WACA test by an Australian umpire. The change was after that but not sure if that was explicitly why

>>149557101
Oot and aboot

Bailey gets Tickner, Lancs only need 1

>>149556368
not him I saw your (dire) kicks in that South American pic where you plante- oh I'm sorry - just '''''''happened''''''' to find a Worcs flag

>>149557087
A simple solution to an elegant problem.

>>149557052
It preserves fairness by penalizing defensive padding, encourages batsmen to play shots, and ensures bowlers are rewarded for accuracy.

>>149557141
Worcestermen are quite intrepid I’m not in the least surprised that Bard wasn’t the first one to tread upon that particular foothill

>>149557115
Just so

imagine being zachy '£300 bingbag jacket' bowen and having the nerve to comment on other people's /fa/ at all, especially regarding shoes. don't think I've forgotten about those ladies lacostes you bought mate lmao (have noted that you've not posted about them since because you probably got a refund realising they were for women)

England will be wanting to take some wickets soon

odd thread

certain man has decent takes on /mu/ related topics but certain man has terrible takes on /biz/, /tv/, /fa/ related topics
simple as

>>149557170
Good answer,. someone else can give you question 2

poolapse looms

>>149556619
Victorian property, I believe, in a very comfy location (not actually in town at all, really)

On at £500k though so might need a slight dip in price first

Advantage of being a nobody within /cric/ is that if a bad take is exposed you can just melt away and it never gets brought up again
I for example have many shit takes about many things but you'd never know

>>149557141
Not him but also the only other person on /cric/ to refer to shoes as "kicks"

>>149557172
So true

It’s never about who is right it’s always about what is right

you're a fraud mate. never done anything natty
>bankrolled unearned cash for creatine for chins
>bankrolled unearned cash for property and investments
>bankrolled unearned cash for dating app boosts / premium subscriptions
>bankrolled unearned cash for doggy PEDs for bouldering
wow it must have been so hard working every day of your life to have rich parents and grandparents

why do people seethe at z-dawg every time he posts? are all these replies from countysperg and bard?

Bailey got Morley, Madsen left stranded on 95
Derbyshire's unbeaten streak over, Lancashire have their first win of the season

>England rubbing the ball on scratchy jumper
Isn't that illegal?

>>149557236
Fortunately I've managed to avoid that problem by never having had a bad take about anything, but I can see why it would be a problem for others (certain man in particular)

I initially thought it was an error but I think these lads actually call their FC team that now lmao how soulless. Hampshire win the story

Brydon Carse just doesn't sound like an English Cricketman's name

>>149557267
yes it's all the same guy

""""umpire's call""""

/cric/ is a shit take general

>celebrappeals
why is this shit not punished with fines

>>149557253
I'm generally over all the zachy and bard posts but this one is kind of a truthnuke desu

>>149557334
love mushrooms me

>>149557338
if you had ever played cricket you'd know that it just happens, most of the time you don't notice it or care for it because it IS out - you just notice when it it isn't given

Changed my WiFi name to JustNotCricket haha

Being an umpire is the easiest job in the world, just stand watching cricket and shake your head when they yell at you

Business idea: an arm brace for Bumrah

>>149557253
kek btfo

>>149556069
uniroincally why aren't there robotic umpires yet? at least for lbw with hawkeye - it just seems so pointless having humans do the job and not utilise the tech when you know it'll be more accurate

speed of play mate, hawkeye isn't instant

They don't get the overs in anyway, may as well use the time productively

jaiswal goat
easily the best <30yo batter in cricket rn

>>149557469
*be's 25 years ahead of his time*

problem with robot umpires is the wheel tracks they'll leave on the pitch after each over

>>149557469
bindia took about 5 years letting DRS in mate, they'll still need all their IT support to check how robots can be rigged before allowing them to umpire

Good crowd in

>bowl first in sunny conditions on a flat track
ah yes, the genius of bazball at it again

the only problem with having a bowl today was Woakes being denied at least two possibly three wickets. 4/140 looks a lot better at this stage

I thought a spinner is meant to turn the ball

wtf was that bullshit stat

Don't understand why Worcestershire haven't yet taken 7 wickets today

Need some umpball from former Pear Jack Shantry

What kind of bullshit is this comparing 37 tests against 7 and 8. Absolute disgrace

That was four if he’d brought that man in

>>149557652
it's got you talking about cricket - bazball has done its job

finally

OVER

179-6 coming

>87
>gone
spooky
imagine getting out to a guy who bowls slower than steve waugh and wider than a stuart macgill long hop

bit of a nothing play at that too think he got bored into it by the spin

GOLDEN ARM
O
L
D
E
N

A
R
M

>>149557686
What on earth are you talking about you silly little man?

>>149557854
it was almost off the pitch lol he thought "yeah this bloke chucks pies I can smash him" and lost his mental

>>149557869
I would keep Bashir at one end here and rotate the quicks at the other

Stokes needs to be fuller

He’d be a good bowler if he had more talent

Thought something had been off about this Test coverage on TMS.
No Phil Tufnell

>>149557968
marston's is the biggest brewery near there, not fuller's!!!

That 2nd ball better. Get it up a touch more there’s trouble

I'm at work

>>149557866
I'm 6"1 you friggin cretin!

>>149557968
Fuller's pretty shit desu, got a golden duck in the first innings vs the Pears

>>149558088
that's little in current year
manlet cut off is now 6 ft 3

thought pakis don't eat pig, why's this guy bowling pies?

Pies can contain any type of meat, or indeed no meat at all
Poor quality post

What does Bashir do?

pork pies are very niche, anon needs to up his pie game

got the pie enthusiasts on a string

would still have that s.oylent chugger leach over bashit tbqh

off bouldering then gonna go knock Ian off the top of the singles ladder at tennis

Bashir is doing alright, there’s hardly any turn and he’s going 3.56. Tongue is having a bad day

not having facts get in the way of my pakibashing

reminder bard and zachy had to wear a rainbow lanyard all of last month so yeah he's 6'1 in the heels he's given for his little civil servant toil lol

like it or not this is a world class transplant

>>149558246
not transplanted at all, not a bit of kiwi in him

crickets back on lads
3rd sesh. decent innings so far by subhuman

>more ball replacement nonsense
seriously this shit is getting tiresome.

part of bazball mate. we'll do it every few overs during our series win in Aus too so cope on

why is the boundary rope womens sized?
disgrace

>>149558600
boundaries are good for the game

>>149558600
Women are playing

>>149558224
Why would I have to do that? I worked at home every day in June

>>149558612
There’d be more fours with larger gaps between fieldsmen if the boundary was of a more appropriate diameter and there’d be more chance of exciting 3s and 4s all run

>>149558600
woke nonsense

England had the rope pulled in because they want to really baz when they get in to bat.
Of course this means everyone will be out for 12 or less but hey at least 4s are entertaining

more like woakes nonsense if iykwim

>all run
fukin cringe glad when the 'dred starts and you test babies fuck off

Stupid shot. He’s tempting to kill his wicket

if the bowlers get to change the ball the batters should get to change the pitch or at least do a heavy roller

what's the boundary meme for those of us not watching? any pics? is it like t20 tier to promote bazball, doesn't seem to be helping the bindian run rate much

>hits a six over the extremely brought in boundary rope
boring
>places it deep between two fieldsmen and they’re coming back for four all run as the throw comes in this’ll be close
not boring

>>149558716
It’s the bad kind of autism
>the boundary must be symmetrical (for no reason)
The best course is no boundary rope but since we must evidently have them for wh&s then they should not be less than 2m and not more than 3m from the natural boundary

Personally I don't think it should be a six unless you hit it over the fence. The ropes should only exist as a means of preventing injury to fielders, and a ball that goes over the ropes but stays on the ground should only be a four.

>>149558716
On TMS they said this morning that it is nearly as far in as they bring it for the women's game. Only reason is that England can choose where it is so it must be part of their gameplan

If you’re injuring yourself on the fence which is 2m away from the rope that’s a natural selection issue imho

GOTTEM

-200IQ dismissal

GONE FUCK OFF

what a car crash of a shot

Objectively hitting the ball out the stadium should be 6 and out, think of the damage done to the ball landing in the car park

PANTS DOWN

six should also be a dismissal like in back garden cricket

caught in the crowd should be out, gets everyone interested in the game a lot more

>>149558788
We had a rule, into the pool on the full was out. Onto any roof or over any fence was also out and in all these scenarios the batskid had to retrieve the ball himself

>>149558801
only if it's a mum or a kid

>>149558801
I came up with this business idea on here years ago

GOTTEM GONE FUCK OFF
USE YOUR BAT NEXT TIME YA DOPEY CUNT

If an English kid hit it into the pool we had to hold him down and put the floaties on him then throw him into the deep end, a fat English kid would take 3 or 4 of us to pick him up

He did not beLEAVE that would hit the stumps

its fucking bullshit that some pornstars dont do anal

>kid
FOY

ABSOLUTE POETRY

more like not reddy to use his bat lmao

i aint watchin the cricket

more like SHITish lmao

>>149558858
don't think anything will be as silly as a "porn"star who makes millions on OF despite having zero nudes. simps baka (shaking my head).

business idea: annie knight v bonnie blue in the OF ashes

the gashes (my OC)

every bowler but Tongue has done well today
Worcestershire have contributed as many good cricketers to the national team as Wales

any of you lads ever texted bbc sport about the cric and got on the live feed

>>149558906
yeah I wrote about bazball not being real cricket but 90% of the thumbs were downwards

>>149558612
you're wrong

>>149558906
Me
t. steve from southampton

>>149558905
Vikram Solanki, Ian Botham, Steve Rhodes, the list of Worcestershire players who were also elite for England is literally (not literally) endless

too much cricket talk

>>149558924
Me
t. Greasy Tony

i paid for a few girls onlyfans and its been a waste of money each time. keep in mind my money is not hard earned so i dont care about wasting it.

>>149558960
did you know them personally

i wont do it again though i promise

>>149558960
Don't really understand the logic of this when porn exists

>Solanki
terrible player
>Botham
not a Worcs product
>Rhodes
literally WHO (looked him up and averages 20)

rest my case

>>149558960
mental

Don't really understand the logic of porn when women exist

>>149558981
i have a problem

>>149558975
good man. Find something more useful to waste your money on

>>149558960
>t. simpstralian from simpney, new simp wales, simpstralia

>>149558978
I'll rest (swing) my (suit) case on your friggin head if you don't take that back

>>149559007
haha excellent wordplay

par score?

>>149559016
As an ethnic new south welshman I do not agree with this sentiment

Day 1 nofap

it's not golf mate

>>149559025
325 I reckon.

>>149559025
360

>>149559035
wish it was iykwim

>>149559025
yes?

why can't they say chinaman anymore?

would paying for porn make sense if you could pay for requests rather than just whatever latest video she's made shoving a battered dildo between her pink sheets once again

there seems to be a disproportionate amount of sex workers in Aus given their population. not sure what's wrong with the females there

>>149559025
820

>>149559069
same reason they don’t say irish swing

>Gill is one of the Indian batters
/cric/ more like /fish/ haha

saw reeves crying at pmqs earlier
pathetic

I'm both a tarq and a neek. they call me the neerq

>>149559098
My estimation of Rachel Reeves, as a woman, just fucking plummeted

"neerq" sounds like the name of whatever brown man he's decided not to be racist against because he averages 35 with the ball for worstershit

the beauty of bazball is that there is no par score
100 runs could be enough
or 450 runs could be not enough
so exciting

who still watches pmqs lmao

>>149559145
there's a thing called "the news" mate sometimes it reports on PMQs if something different happened in one

bazball solved the 'leave' (specifically Ben Duckett. what a pointless waste of everyone's time)
bazball has also solved the 'who's winning' question - nobody is ever winning in cricket as was long suspected
wonder what they'll solve next

I get most of my news from this website. If there's a really big world event someone will post a 'is [story] a sport?'
don't need to know about some literal who lass having a cry tyvm

When i play cricket again im gonna baz it

>>149559192
based konstas

>>149559163
You’re wrong, someone is always winning if _____ happens and someone is always winning if that thing doesn’t happen.
Right now if England is winning

>James Cameron calls Christopher Nolan’s Oppenheimer a ‘moral cop-out’
uh oh open rift between spaccy b's top two favourite film directors

reckon more sports should introduce bazball

ynr economic bazball and how it was meant to save the UK

if I were the winviz I would adjudge (or judge) the current probability of a 98% chance of a draw

>>149559211
Why are you so obsessed with Zacharias?

Nolan has had one all time kino (Interstellar) but Cameron has has two (T2, Titanic)
if he says it's a moral cop-out I believe him

t2 is inferior to t
arniebot best as the bulldozing villain

>>149559192
based mcsweeney

>>149559255
chadchy b bullied countysperg so badly at the last online meet that he's been seeing him in his nightmares ever since. so sad

I've never watched a James Cameron movie

>t2 is inferior to t
t for terrible take lol

reeves makes me cry every time she steals my money
only fitting she be humbled

"terrible take" is 2 t's or t2, so yes i agree!

only zoomers think T2 is better.

I've seen most of James Cameron's movies but cannot remember a single one

>>149559283
based zoomer

T3 is honestly quite underrated but yes T2 is better than the original and is still the greatest action kino ever made (mad that given how old it is)

two terrible takes, or t3, in that poost

>>149559269
Is this true?

>British colonists committed genocide against Australia's Indigenous population in Victoria, a landmark Aboriginal-led inquiry has found.
corr another feather in our cap

T2 was shit, trainspotting didn't need a sequel

feels like the abos are very late to the minority sympathy game
pic related, some abos

>>149559385
give a NSFL warning on that pic will ya

Boland in Fraudlewood out

Just realised if I moved to Aus I could pass as an aboriginal

>>149559418
no chance

uhm un uburujunaal

>>149559457
keep trying you'll do a good one eventually lad

>Brains and me and Baz are not really three things that you put together
- Ben Stokes

here's your sport in 2025 bro!

I denounce racism

>no tongue to arsedeep
>no tongue to Bumrah
pswbros r u k

>>149559568
†UK flags, r u k

just won 4-0 4-0 at tennis
barely missed

>>149559129
kirdblt (kek it really do be like that)

Only circumstance in which I'll welcome them to my green and pleasant land

300+ and it's moral victory for India
no, I don't think India will be able to take a single wicket. sadly

brb

and we were having such a nice yank free thread

nooooo the screens are too bright

Just returned from some exercise. Appears I missed a few wickets.

Why are britpakis so much better at getting into the England cricket team compared to brindians?

business idea: start the fucking game an hour earlier

business idea: if you can't take strike get off the fucking field

>>149559646
good question!

>>149559646
Poverty, brindians usually focus on getting gainful employment such as doctors or dentists. Britpakis focus on sports, fail and end up either as takeaway workers or uber drivers

>>149559585
how did you start the second set without finishing the first?

>>149559788
GOTTEM
O
T
H
E
E
M
E
D

More wickets

really strong smell of poo in this thread

>>149559817
>t. smeller and dealer of it

guys this new ball looks out of shape, they should replace it

If the batswielders don't want the ball replaced all the time they shouldn't hit it so hard

>>149559788
short set format

ausgaylians clearly still thinking about the last ashes test too much. feeling guilty because they know they got away with one thanks to the rain

Why would anyone play girly sets when they themselves are not a man
Doesn't add up

>short format "sport"
incredibly grim, dire even.

Poms don’t like rain because none of them can swim

That reminds me, during the last test Bard teased an information reveal about himself (likely that he is either married, divorced, gay or all 3)
Did anything come of that or is he an utter utter coward on the level of the coward Joe Root

Bard is a priest. Father Bard

can't get hard anymore

woakes looks 60

>>149559970
he brought it up again recently
he has a secret gf. didn't (You) the post that claimed this and he normally (You)s everything so pretty solid proof

>>149559953
nobody wants to play 3 full sets after work in some casual ladder league

kek did bowen get exposed at tennis AGAIN? can't do anything about those unathletic welsh genes I guess

do noodly arms help in tennis? i don't play summer activities aimed at casuals

>>149560057
no I won without dropping a game
better at tennis than bouldering desu

>>149560068
no

you're not at all good at bouldering mate, stop deluding yourself already

vastly better than you thoughever

he's very good at bewildering

>>149560142
even that's probably not true. you'll only be slightly better due to doing it for years

I’m thinking it’s a bit of a road and England have done alright to take 5, India will be satisfied but also gave away a couple of wickets being retards although on the other hand Woakes should’ve at least one more. Nice day of cricket

basically any decent sporty person could master v3 after 2-3 days training so you basically start at v3 and then you're at around zachy level who's maybe v3.3 or so

is true, FN

this irish fella really loves woakes

>you
>decent sporty person
lel

Tennis is a funny sport you really do have to know what you’re doing more than being athletic but you still need some athleticism if your opponent has some. I only played it a bit but my Grandmother was a club member and we used to watch it together her favourite player was McEnroe.
Zachy would easily beat any of you plebs who’ve never even walked on a grass court and wouldn’t even lose a point I’d wager

it's not a very accessible sport tbf
really hard to pick up as sports go

>>149560206
He showed a bit of passion, shame he also ran out of puff and gave up on it

>>149560208
ok I realise it's a touchy subject so won't carry on
v4 soon mate, before 2030 for sure

thats why the yanks had to invent pickleball for the fat neeks
basically an easier version

zachy's not tall enough to be that good at tennis
don't think there's ever been a quality 5'10" men's tenniser

pickleball is shit it’s the sort of rubbish should be kept for toddlers to have a bit of fun before they’re old enough to not injure themselves like tee ball or french cricket. It’s literally what we accuse them of having done by turning rounders into baseball.
If adults want to play lazy tennis they can play half court

zachy only plays first to 4 in tennis because 4 (v4) is also his limit in bouldering

and he's known locally for his fourhead

>>149560285
Michael Chang, just ottomh

I'm 5' 11''

alcaraz is about 5' 6''

rod laver was 5’8 (I had to look it up to check)

zachy is tall enough technically speaking but the issue is at least 1 foot of that height is his ungainly forehead so he doesn't really get the same advantages

need a /cric/ intervention / brainstorming sesh
toothpick arms and welsh genetics - what sports can such a person have some success in?

>>149560307
padel is shit as well

>>149560569
there is unironically zero sports you are better than me at

cricket

I am better than all of you

310/5 isn't that great for the batsmanning team on this road desu. it's about 50-50 right now

there are sports yet to be introduced to mankind that i could heem everyone in this poomunity at

mental how it would now cost over a grand a month to rent the flat I have bought
york rental market is dire

binning shit
prepping to move
old with the old in with the new I say

start with your personality x

>old with the old
university of loife

obvious typo of sorts you fat neek

ynr that Karun Nair has a test 300

nah you normally delete and repost you toothpick armed neek
you thought that was the phrase. bet you unironically think it's a doggy dog world as well lol

mfw mummy buys me a flat in old rorke town

please get off your laptop and do some exercise for once in your life ol bingo wings you sweaty fat fuck

>>149562701
zachy's a very lucky boy
don't want to hear any complaints about his life on /cric/ ever again. not even in the top 10 most oppressed posters here (neither is the other civil servant btw)

Why does this general get all the pooftahs?

the answer to all your questions is in the 2nd reply ITT

just had a dire on board sesh

Make me

>>149562253
all caused by landlords like your tarq granddad, you can hardly complain about it

CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO ME HOW THIS ABSOLUTE FRAUD IS STILL IN THE TEAM!!

Money talks, Crawley walks (to the pavilion)
for those of you who don't know zaky c's dad is far richer than zachy b's grandpa

what sort of pajeet tier curating you got planned for this pitch bongs
thinking knee roll bounce day 3 to ankle bounce day 4

The average MLB player would demolish cricket

>>149563755
poofs cant even catch a ball without a comically oversized glove lmao

baseball's '''''''rep''''''' in the comparison was ruined years ago. also YFO you fat fuck

Big fan of Reeves for blubbering and crashing the pound just as I send a couple of clients a couple of invoices on dollars, more money for me

>Bungledesh
Match fixing or are they just THAT shite?

>>149564741
7/5 is not unprecedented. Match fixing is very difficult and moreso the more people involved in it

Mad how the only win Essex have had all season is the one they had to cheat for against the Pears. By rights, they should be bottom of the league

the name pears is very neeky

pears are one of the best fruits
but it also makes you think of bard's nemesis - women

...yh rate pears but also mangoes, jackfruits, blueberries, pomegranates etc etc

>>149565731
he has one of his own now
posted this earlier >>149556038

>>149556038
noice. what's she like fella¿

>>149565925
†eyequeem

last night was quite boring watching
need some bazball tonight pls

>>149566027
it's an AI
only way to get someone to laugh at his jokes

makes sense he was banging on about ai being the future an awful lot

/Cric/ would be so much better if someone just gave Mrs Bowen a wire coat hanger to use back in 1988

bouldering later

pebbling earlier

big sexy tits

>>149570627
Real cricket starts at midnight fella

fill my void /cric/

India will still be batting at tea
Stokes has fucked this one
Strip his captaincy and hang Root for good measure

hello cricket fans

>>149572272
Hey Dan

>>149572182
pop down to perth steam works mate they'll fix your void

checked the score. india appear to be winning

thanks for the update (unironically, im not watching the game (too busy listening to black sabbath))

it's not about winning or losing
it's about having fun

Australia should forfeit the match on ethical grounds if shamar is selected

checked the score. india appear to be having more fun

the best boulderer is the one that has the most fun

>>149572328
what he do to you

nothing can come between my coco di mama sandwich and coffee breakfast sitting in front of the art museum (location subject to change as won't be as convenient when I move)

>>149572359
so true

can someone explain to me the relationship between bouldering and boulders

newwy
>>149572390
>>149572390
>>149572390

>>149572384
Zero, boulders are large rocks usually found outside
Bouldering is done inside on plastic walls while attached to safety lines so you don't fall 3 feet and graze your knee