prev >>149564392

FIRST FOR KITTIES
https://youtu.be/0X5emFHKxvo

>conroy's big splash is signing a guy the flyers didnt want

Name my band

keking at the idea of trb constantly reporting the posts making fun of him yet nothing happens to the bud1 boyz

>laffs

>>149576853
Linkin Park

>>149576853
stomping craig conroy

>>149576862
i didnt really consider this, but you know its true
he is reporting every single post
fortunately he is fucking off for the day if his blogging is to be believed
budwon

>open /hoc/
>see Samir still seething about TBG
>close /hoc/

>>149576897
bud1 and trb's done

>>149576921
another complete faggot gone for the day
this is gonna be a good thread

>>149576897
>fortunately he is fucking off for the day if his blogging is to be believed
>very next post is trb
kek tubby just can't stay away from hoc

>Samir mentioned. I'm in.

>>149576853
The Queen City Kids

>>149576951
thoughts on your loss to bud and mitch and then going to the doctor for a medical shot?

why come canada just don't tax they players?

>>149577017
carney should make drumpf pay extra for canadian-born players
simple stroke of a pen ends 1993

>>149577053
delete this now

we love gary here
[spoilers] gary is monitoring the thread [/spoiler]

>laffs

>>149577089

>Let's throw 'em a bone this year. I don't know, 4 nations or something? Just make sure Canada wins it. We can up the hotdog price to $24.99 to make up for it.

>soilers

>>149577089
Jeez Gary go easy on the Vicodin will ya can't even fit a pin through those pupils

Thank you Marner

>>149576813 (OP)
Finally a good thread

Topics include: trading Anderson
, trading for Byrum , trading for karlson

>>149577145
He looks weird he looks like he's a sperg

>>149577145
Thank you for two playoffs series win in almost a decade. Now go win a Cup in Vegas buddy

/hoc/ Comedy Highlights
Foodposting Shenanigans:

Anons debated dinner: "might make a wrap for dinner bros" vs "I was thinking chili dogs"

“Had a MASSIVE Marner today, haven’t been regular for a week”—yes, “Marner” is used as a euphemism for bodily functions.

“Just took a really stinky Marner”, “drops a Marner in the toilet”, “picks Marner up out of toilet”, “drops a toilet on the Marner” — bathroom humor at its finest.

Marnerposting Madness:

Anons relentlessly mock Mitch Marner:

“Marner is a crybaby bitch”

“Mitch made trb his bitch”

“The World Is Yours, Mitch” with a Scarface GIF

"My toilet won the Marner trade"

KWABs and Copes:

“trb got mitch’d” and “trb keeps getting raped” (ongoing meme mocking a user or player)

“late afternoon coffee and a Marner” — continues the bowel movement thread

“My Nuckies will be paying Oliver Ekman-Larsson until 2031” — financial pain as comedy

Pizza & Meat Lovers Club:

“I'm going to have a pidzer tonight :)”

“what toppings, bro?” “Meat lovers :)”

“meat lover pizza seems to be pretty popular here on /hoc/”

“It's bread, meat and cheese. What's not to love?” “Nothing, it’s bliss”

Dumb but Funny Comments:

“wing sauce on my shirt bro's kwab”

“Can’t believe the government took away sexy ice scrapers”

“Flush it down to Vegas” in reference to Marner

Classic /sp/ Shitposting:

“I'm a retard and I gave permission to /hoc/ to use the word as they please”

“Hope everybody is having a good evening” followed by immediate derailment into Crystal Castles abuse lore

“Don Cherry has never had any controversies... apart from loving his country” (ironic tone)

“Comfy is just a code word for boring desu fampai”

>>149577145
For what?

>>149577180

WELCOME TO THE GARY BELT

>>149577230
>caca sports
you can't make this shit up

>>149577247
Can’t read cursive, eh?

>caca sports
unbelievable

>>149577289
believe this
*marners*

>>149576841
I miss sweetness as the goal song

>>149577145
>>149577167

>>149577396
>If you’re scoring the most goals of any team in the NHL and you don’t win the cup maybe the problem isn’t your goal song? But hey if it’s not broke feel free to fix it.
Jimmy wasn't wrong, heh.

>>149577492
they changed the song, never scored the most regular season goals again since then won 2 cups
it fixed something

>>149576813 (OP)
faggot OP

faggot thread

Yep. Just give us the goal already

>>149577819
hopefully makar plays 40 minutes and the transhumanist people fix carey price's knee

>>149577856
winnington looked great at 4nash

>>149576853

> The New York Islanders have signed forward Maxim Shabanov to a one-year, entry-level contract on Wednesday. The 24-year-old was one of the most sought-after undrafted free agents coming out of the Kontinental Hockey League this summer.

>“There were a lot of options,” Shabanov’s agent, Alexander Chernykh, told RG in an exclusive interview. “Utah really wanted him. So did Philadelphia, Vegas, Boston, the Rangers. So many teams. Some clubs even lost patience because the decision took a while. We were getting five or six calls a day.”

>>149577819

* loses to Denmark *

>>149578007
>Utah really wanted him
Too bad nobody wants to live in Utah

>>149578024
still won 2 of the last 5
what is team usa's record for that tourney over the past 64 years?

>>149578036
what's the usa's record against denmark

is it true that you get bullied in quebec if you dont speak french?

>>149578007

>>149577145
Sad

>>149578072
rarely. some boomers in small towns.
happened to me once. i didn't care. it's not my home, it's his.

>>149578007
Apparently some blogger retard(s) for the flyers had the fans convinced it was a sure thing he was going to philthy. They’re pretty salty

>>149578087
>DUDE HIGHLIGHT REEL GOALS LOL
Now what does he look like in regular gameplay?

>>149578136
Probably just another decent bottom 6 guy like Tsyplakov.

>>149578087
Fug he used the heel on top of the puck for that initial drag

>>149578153
Twelve million dollars for Byram is ludicrous and I like the kid.

>>149578087
The KHL sucks and you should kill yourself if you consume that slop

>>149578087
>all those shitty cuts to obfuscate the fact he didn't score
Jej

kek poor suzuki, love that lil nigga

I truly wonder how many Ruzztards are posting here with American VPNs. It made me trust American posters less and look at each post as cynically as possible. That's what Ruzztards do, place division where there previously were none

>>149578182
Philly's jersey aren't even close to mid, what the fuck are these people smoking
The jerseys are literally the only good part of Philadelphia

>>149578182
>jerseys
>fliers
they have the second best jersey behind the blues tho

>>149578136
He looks damn good for a 1x1 deal

THE HOME OF CHAMPIONSHIP HOCKEY

>>149578242
everyone always talks about the alligators
no one talks about the crocodiles :(

Oilers' goal song should be this:

https://youtu.be/lvZ6vbquerI

>laffs

>Tsn posting predictions for canadian Olympic roster
Why the actual fuck?

>>149578251
arent the crocodiles getting 65million meals or something?

>>149578227
>>149578237
no it's pretty mid it's right

>>149578226
Jen there’s a word for you Marnering yourself about Russians
>The term "Rysskräck" (fear of the Russians) is a well-known concept in Sweden, reflecting the deep-seated historical unease about Russia

>>149578251
They don't do as well in the cold so most stay in the tropics.

>raped retard still here

>>149578279
Because there's nothing happening in free agency and the experts have to be paid to do something.
>>149578301
It's exactly the same concept as your fear of communism before 1991, except that fear was completely unjustified, unlike the "fear" of the Nordic countries that Russia can attack.

>>149578182
>middest
fucking hate zoomers so much

>>149578389
ong?

OFFICIAL MILK POWER RANKINGS:
1. whole
2. chocolate
3. 2%
4. 1%
...
999999. skim
9999999999. almond, oat, etc.

>>149578381
He’s a penul shot savant
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xhK5zjIr9_0

>>149578413
1. bagged
2-rest. who cares

>>149578413
Oat and almond milk are the only acceptable milk substitute thoughever

>>149578433
So someone who would actually help them because they suck ass in the shootout

>>149578389
zoomer sport, zoomer website, zoomer timeline

>>149578450
Yes. Barzal used to have some scoring flair but that disappeared very quickly

>>149578301
ryssä häs posted

>>149578413
lactose free milk tastes better than regular milk

>>149578497
vitun ryssä*

>Dmitri Orlov got 6.5M from the Shorks

>>149578515
found the filipino

>>149578515
Eh it’s too sweet like someone added Splenda to it. Sorry for your lactose intolerance

>>149578524
Gotta reach that cap floor somehow

>>149578519
>>149578497
Sorry frens, you’re not impartial and your speculation is unbecoming
>Finland was part of Sweden for almost 700 years.
>Sweden lost Finland to Russia in 1809, and Finland became an autonomous part of the Russian Empire

>>149578524
I don't hate it. They need to hit the cap floor and I've always liked Orlov. It's a two year term for a team that is going to be shit for five, s'cool.

What the fuck happens when we have 4 more teams adn even higher cap?

>>149578413
I have never drank whole milk in my entire life and I haven't had 2% in well over a decade
I only really use skim for cereal because as watered down as it is using literal water just feels gross

Wasnt the kalmar union just danish irredentism? Ehlers to my Islanders btw

>>149578597
what capspace and what roster spot?

>>149578574
He looked absolutely cooked against the Panthers. But as you said, it doesn't matter since the Sharks will continue to stink during that contract anyway.
>>149578515
I'm going to drink a big glass of normal milk now

>>149578559
Google translate isn't working for you Yevren Yevrenov

>>149578587
Zamboni driver goalies get long term contracts

>>149578651
>more zambo goalies
oh boy

>>149578651
oh no no no don't let toronto hear about this

did we ever get that update from that anon who calls his coworker trb?

>>149578691
Shorks!

>>149578587
Bigger gap between contenders and shit teams. Even longer rebuilds aka more teams who're missing the playoffs for 10+ straight years, more point totals due to a watered down league = better paid contracts for shit players

>playing for the shorks on purpose

Who's watching hockey right now?
My habbies are scrimming prospects and junior invitees.

>>149578747
He got his cup already and is in his mid 30s. Now's the best time to milk the cash cow.

>>149578811
theres no hockey today! not even the meme leagues are playing

>>149578815
life ain't nothin but bitches and money

kadri to the >laffs rumours but the >laffs dont have anything to trade. I dont get it.

I also dont get how you could believe that Jesus The Son is somehow coequal to The Father but here we are.

they aren't equal. they are one

>>149578834
Gary you need to read Daniel and Isaiah

>>149578811
>Two 25-minute periods, played 4-on-4 with non-stop time
Why?

>>149578811
got any online stream i could watch?

>>149578874
It's on youtube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekEXyGjSoPY

when i went to college i played intramural floor hockey, turns out the varsity hockey team (d3) also had a team. why was that allowed? im still mad about that.

>>149578857
Better than nothing, really. Also to get an idea of what skills they currently have.

>>149578884
god bless your heart, anon thank you

>>149578895
Seems dumb to me. Better to play real hockey. Also they never provide rosters for these prospect scrimmages which is annoying. Some lazy fuck can take the time to type up who's playing the red or the white team

Can this retard make up his mind do my penguins can traded Bryan rust and retard rakell?

>>149578931
Reporter Chris said yesterday that Ehlers was going to decide what team to sign with yesterday. And now it's today.

snowy cup bro's it's almost time

>>149578691
General Orlov will make Sharks great again.

with bated breath we await the destination of a middling danish winger

>we ran out of time!
The Yzerplan ladies and gents

>>149578931
I hope the Penguins keep the two so gary doesn't gift shitsburgh mckenna

>>149579024
based Yz taking a nap with based Lou

>>149578056
they have lost at least once to denmark
https://stats.iihf.com/Hydra/230/IHM230D09_74_4_0.pdf

>>149579024
How do you fail at getting even Noah Dobson? Could've just let go of Kasper, a few picks and some for a RHD

>no hockey
>cwhl on my channel

ok

dang thought my cunty islanders might sign him

>>149579086
based Maritime Hockey follower

>>149579024
Retard

>>149579052
>eliminated from groups after losing to the danes
pathetic

>>149579037
Thoughts on your victory over tbg?

>>149579133
Meds.

>>149579138
>defending the raped bitch
yes, consider taking yours

>>149579153
If I spent my days obsessing over a single poster to the point of having conversations with myself to shit on them, I would consider taking medication too

Tbg won fuck canada

would josh allen be a good hockey player? i think the sabres need to start thinking outside the box

>lost to stephen
>lost to the burrito
kwarb

>>149579109
this is the year!

>>149579179
you're extremely obsessed over the poster named anon
get on your meds

>>149579198
they should probably go with a winner like mahomes

>>149579124
>we're signing Ekblad!
>oh, ok, maybe not
>but we're singing Gavrikov
>oh, ok, not him either
>well at least we have Chiarot and Holl

>>149579226

>>149579024
hes mad because he wanted to give ekblad a 7x$10 contract

Wings are trading for andersson

>>149579241
It's okay they brought in Glass Bones Gibson

>>149579241
no one wants to play in detoilet besides geriatrics looking for a paycheck

most american thing i've ever seen in my life
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cERI57zshVk

>>149577230

>>149579306
is Joey Goatnut coming back?

>>149579335
*flushes*

>>149579340
Yes

>>149579354
powerful amounts of based

I never get to watch the hot dog eating contest because it’s usually over by the time I wake up.

>>149579335
>it's real

>>149579340
yup
76 dogs in 10 minutes is his record
pretty kino number for july 4

It's possible.

>>149579052
Not so different after all, you and I.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDtoMBI7rl0

>>149579411
>TSN Report: Literally everyone is coming to the laffs, trust the plan, two more seasons

>>149579411
Maybe on planet retard

>>149579401
based Joey Kino doing it for the land

>>149579024
>what did you want us to do? we HAD to wait till July 1st to do anything
What did stevie mean by this?

>Sounds like today is the day. I'm told Nikolaj Ehlers is expected to make his decision today, and his new team plans on making the announcement. Stay tuned, I guess.
>Carolina, Washington and Utah are believed to be 3 teams in the mix as of this morning. Others have poked around. Could it be one of those 3, or a mystery club? We shall see.

>>149579306
is the GOAT gonna be there?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2sBFkfcB8WA

Why didn’t the flames sign any free agents

>>149579530
The flames suck

>>149579530
convoy builds through the draft (won it)

>>149579446
except when you count the number of gold medals of course

>>149579530
They saw the tagaki faggot and realized they didn’t want to play for a team who has a pedophile photoshopping them

Johnny hockey died while sucking his brothers dick
>>149579530
They signed Nathaniel Pawłowski

>>149579572
He died because of a drunk driver :(

>>149579542
Calgaryf Lamers

>>149579566
thoughts on your victory over trb?

>>149579591
if johnny had his mouth free he could have avoided collision

Flames fans are some of the best fans in the nhl.

>>149579591
Yes, driver was drunk while Johnny was sucking him off. Him and his brother were hungry for the driver cock. Also Johnny was keep saying "i can't look at my wife..... She's so fucking ugly"

>>149579613
source?

>>149579633
It came to me in a dream

>>149579566
Who hurt you?

>>149579512
>signs 13x7 with Utah
>the Mammoths upwards trajectory completely flattens out
>spends the next decade being 9th to 7th in the Western Conference
>starts a rebuild in 2035

>>149579621
how much vodka have you had today pole bro

>>149579641
more like a nightmare

>>149579621
This is quality posting that scares off r*dditors and jannies alike.

>>149579647

>>149579679
Cody is the American Nightmare

>>149579671
Same ammount as Johnny hockey when he was blowing off that driver......none

AND CLAIM MY KINGDOM

Frank Seravalli says some executives in the Leafs organization believe Vegas' tampering of Mitch Marner has gone back almost a year when the player/camp was no longer willing to negotiate with the team.

viva las morning marner!

>>149579799
>some leafs execs believe this all started ages ago when it was pretty fucking clear it had started
thanks frank.

>>149579815

>>149579633
>>149579613
Nathaniel Pawłowski and Marzena Pawlowski. Local prostitutes

>>149579799
gary won't do anything about this

finna tamper with your Marner anon

Poland needs to take his meds

>>149579799
if he wasn't willing to negotiate then he already decided to leave and this temper tantrum they're throwing just gets sadder and sadder, they should really just be glad they caught vegass and were able to blackmail them into giving anything at all instead of getting assfucked in free agency

>>149579799
Retards

>>149579799
No fucking shit.

>>149579876
Best meds in Calgary - cave of abdullah, street church Calgary gang. Artur Pawlowski and Dawid Pawlowski
Best MDMA, PCP, LSD and crack cocaine! Go to city hall on sunday on 11 am for more info

>>149579883
how do you know vegas isnt the reason he refused to negotiate?

>>149579854
>punishes teams when vegas doesn't understand contracts they're trading for
>turns a blind eye when they actively negotiate with players under contract
Its getting a bit blatant Gary

we've progressed as a species without the need for poland

You people are literal mindless drones
>when bad unfair thing happens to teams :(
>when bad unfair thing happens to leafs :)

>>149580005
arr rook same

>>149580005
the kid that won the calder

>>149579994
pic rel league

>>149580003
Fuck Poland

>>149580011
A player not wanting to waste his career in Toronto isn’t unfair

>>149580036
this

>>149580011
yes
fuck the leafs

>>149580047
retard

>>149579994
Retards will continue acting like Vegas doesn't get preferential treatment despite this.

>>149580011
They were happy when the coyotes were taken to the pound

Did people always go this nuts when someone was leaving on free agency before?

>>149580080
Dear John Tavares,

just got a new keyboard lads

>>149580083
Nobody was openly shitting Tavares the entire time he played on LI like Laffs fans did to Marner
>"grrr marner shit we hate you"
>"Okay im going to Vegas"
>"WTF YOU'RE JUDAS"

>>149580064
That’s you

>>149580079
a slap on the wrist for being allowed to exist

>>149580083
Tavares has every right to leave Long Island it’s shitty living there.

>>149580129
True there are weebs pushing people on subway tracks there. Not a place I'd want to live in.

>>149580153
he bullied a hamster too

>>149580113
>nou
retard

>>149580153
People bring their dolls around and pretend like theyre real

would it be unethical to have a beer during a zoom college class? this stuff is almost as boring as watching the islanders

>>149580206
Yes as long as your camera is off. I had beers to help get rid of presentation anxiety.

>>149580200
cope they had a nice day together

*cracks open a michelob ultra*

>>149579993
Laffs were dogshit before Marnerjeet's grandfather was born.

>>149580393
The beer to numales

>>149580398
>its ok for vegas to ignore the rules since it involves the laffs

>>149580410
it was a sign and trade

>>149580436
and?

>>149580443
https://streamable.com/m8tayl

>>149580410
>It's ok for laffs to be dogshit they've been that way for 70 years.

>>149580443
within the rules nerd

>>149580460
no argument?
tyfyc

>>149580462
where is it against the rules to be dogshit?

with all this beer talk i'm going to buy a 6 pack tomorrow for 6 eurobucks and get drunk

>>149580479
Nowhere otherwise my Islanders would have some hefty fines to pay

>>149580463
source?

>>149580479
Laffs dogshit pile encroaches on opposing teams and is a health and safety hazard.

>dogshit for 70 years
>still hold the second most cups
is the rest of the league even trying?

>>149580497
Talmud

Uh oh Samir got triggered by people calling the >laffs dogshit and is bringing up Cups won before the industrial revolution again

ynr when Ray Shero had five first round picks between 2009-2012, and he used four of them on left-handed defensemen.
ynr that he had three second round picks during that span, two of which he used on left-handed defensemen.

samir and getting worked
samir and getting btfo
who do you bring to the prom?

>>149580515
Yes, the chronicles hazily claim laffs were good once, but archaeologists dispute this.

>>149580552
Sad that he’s dead ):

Threw my back out loading a moving van boys. I'm going to be uping my hit posting volume while I'm on LTIR.

>>149580533
baited for this exact response

> Samir mentioned. I am always in.

>>149580576
never post again cringe merchant

>>149580576
raped bitch

Hating the leafs isn’t a personality.

cringe is based

Samir is seething and VPNing hard now.

>trb bringing up samir to make me look bad

>>149580626
raped bitch is attempting to gaslight /hoc/

>>149580514
yes, this explain why detoilet is so bad

Frank Seravalli stimulated quite the discussion

Seething, samefagging, VPNing. That's our Samir alright.

>laffs

>>149580656
since it involves the laffs, the outcome is always the same
shitflinging

> I'm here for you, Samir. Just wrapping up another sterling offseason.

Leafs regularly make the second round and hall are so pissed hour it.

>>149580626
>>149580669
>nearly identical posts
>2 different flags
trb on his mission to gaslight /hoc/

>>149580669

>Samir mentioned again!

>>149580576
ok I don't usually save AIslop but this one's pretty good

>>149580559
>defending the raped bitch

Samir is a falseflag he isn’t real you fucking morons.

>>149580744
trb has an active imagination

>Oh shit they're piling on me. Quick! Time to samefag!
Good old Samir

>>149580779
a baseless accusation

>>149580744
So true!

> Samir is onlyfag and xhe's all mine!

funny how samir was never mentioned while trb was "fishing"

sometimes i drink tuboug even though its a shitty beer just because of that one simpsons episode

muh samir boogeyman

3 more months of this shit.

>>149580850
off season rules

Mike Futa

Brandon Bussi

Mike Hawk tuah

>>149580129
t.lives in fucking Canada

thinking of buying a cat. how badly to they fuck up furniture? pic rel my dog lil nigga destroyed a dining room chair now they don’t match anymore.

>>149580963
they scratch tf out of it

>>149580963
My damage depositsies :(

Stars traded down to get Wyatt Johnston at #23. Turned out to be arguably the best player from the 2021 draft so far.

>>149580919
the Long Island arena is surrounded by a shanty town straight out of Liberia

grrrrr I just hate canadians so much grrrrrrrr

>>149581195
https://www.newbelmont.com/
because they tore down the old belmont park right by the place for a new one. how hard is google for this general?

can ehlers hurry the frig up?

>>149581428
did no one think that through?

>>149581428

>>149581217
Correlation does not equal causation.

>>149581488
I bet it does on planet retard though

could my sharkies realistically finish near .500 this season? Lots of prospects and good D-line signings

this cute girl I know said she got bullied in France because she learned her french in Quebec

>>149581457

[good news] Bowen Byram trade talks heating up. Calgary one of many teams interested.

>>149581588
hoob is heating up too! hoob for byram who says no

>>149581588
Rachel doerrie says bowen byram is only getting so much attention because of the canadian deep state

pp unit 1
cutefield - suzuki-san - demigod
dobson - hotson
good friggin luck, atlantic division

He won offseason

ehlers to the whalers

>>149581693
Retard

it's up https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LWw8dYLigk

>>149581793
Didn’t ask

>#1 D prospect
>a 2nd
>conditional 1st (2 years worth)
>8 years x $7,500,000.00
>for K'Antskate Miller

>>149581795
https://streamable.com/m8tayl

>>149581811
Wrestlefag
>>>/out/

>>149581488
Guess canadians cannot read

it's wrestlechad actually

>>149581806
I don't know which is worse, offer sheeting Kotkaniemi or this.

>>149581855
extending a manlet to a 8x6

>>149581806
tulsky is a genius bro bro tulsky knows data bro bro you dont get it bro tulksy is like really smart bro he has patents bro patents on like stuff

I EAT COCK

>>149581806
>>149581855
>>149581865
BUT MUH ANALYTICS

MY INCEL LOOKING GM SAID IT WAS PEAK VALUE

>Carolina gives Ehlers a fucking 8.5M contract
>When they could've just had Rantanen instead
Rod Brinda'mour will flip his shit when Ehlers doesn't shoot the puck 200 times a game

>>149581915
The trade wasn't so bad, the contract is something I fail to understand

Yes,Yes well done Carolina, well done Carolina, however..

>>149581941
cope we're trading for Tage when bufflel goes all in on McKenna

>>149581941
1C
4C
3C
4C

I see only one problem.

Weaponized that cap space by egregiously overpaying middle 6/middle pairing players.

>>149581965
tage thompson is a RW not a centericeman.

>>149581931
thoughts on your victory over trb?

>Josh Norris
>Tage Thompson
>Jack Quinn
>Rasmus Dahlin
what will buffalose get back when they blow it up in 11 months?

>>149582063
More beans

>>149582063
rebuilt again award

ufa was fake and gay and all of these contracts will age worse than 2016

Three way trade in June 2026:
>VAN receives: Rasmus Dahlin
>NJD receives: Quinn Hughes
>BUF receives: Nemec, NJD's 2026 1st Rounder, NJD's 2027 1st Rounder

>>149582136
What a fucking retarded trade for the Devils

>>149582152
y

largest contracts handed out in the entire league this week:

>Miller - 8Y/$60M
>Ehlers - 6Y/$51M

>>149579799
>look, just get your wife pregnant what can frank say to that

>>149582136
>>149582152
>>149582165
even if they bought out/cap dumped Hamilton and Dillon, this leaves NJD with a ridiculous imbalance on LD/RD. Replace Nemec with Silayev and add a 2nd Rounder.

>>149582177
what were they researching

>>149582177
marner?
bouchard?

>>149582212
how to eat cock

>>149582218
jeetner isn't a person

>>149582218
>bouchard?
Bouchard's contract was only $42m.

canes don't have much space left for mcdavid

>>149582278
concede that marner then

Your teams have all fucked themselves so hard and my team is patiently waiting to heem them.

Rumour is dumba for rasmus andersson 1 for 1

>>149581905
dang

jihadri to the randycanes is next

Kek I can't believe the >laffs wasted a 2nd round pick on Scott Laughton

>>149582417
at least they got rid of marner

>We heard about Ehlers and bought season tickets.

>>149582417
you won't believe me, but it was actually a first round pick

i have over 20000 updoots on hfboards so you know you can trust my opinion

>>149582502
>that expression
they could not help themselves

>>149582540
Something about the canes does that to you

>>149577180
abhorrent post we don't call them that anymore

remember when the sharks traded for karlsson and signed him to a huge contract and he withered away into obscurity kwab

>>149582856
He won a norris trophy

the norris trophy was a mistake

>>149582856
>Plays like shit for the Shorks
>"We are willing to move Erik Karlsson"
>All of a sudden pulls out a Norris season out of his ass
Couldn't have happened to a better guy.

bobby orr is the only defenseman i give a shit about

>>149582884
This

They should make it the chuck norris trophy for best fighter

>>149583015
now we're talking

business idea: kevin nash trophy for biggest kwab of the season

>>149583061
why kevin nash? did something happen to him?

>>149583071
'd 'o

>>149583061
conglaturations your winner

>>149583086
oh dear. the rumours are true?

>>149583108
thanks, man

>>149582911
too bad about his wife

>>149583123
they R indeed

guys when is buffalo moving to atlanta

>>149583259
The interns are working on it right now

he looks so happy :)

>>149583420
Poop jersey lol

>>149583420
he looks like he lost his nose in world war 1 and now he's wearing a fake one

nah thats it. It's a whole new laffs era

Brantford won the draft

>>149583478
Wtf

>>149583478
horse DNA = Cups

>>149583478
why did they let hayley wickenheiser cook...

>>149583487
Why dont they put him in net

>>149583466
He already got sunburnt

No D to laffs. It's so over.

>>149583420
BORN TO SIGN
LAFFS IS A FUCK
Marner Em All '93
I am poo man
11,000,000 dollar signing bonus

>>149583559
Who needs D when you have goal tending depth?

>>149583535
150cm 140KG would be a better build for that start

>>149583574
And a horse

>>149583641
Kek

>>149583478
whats up white women and animals jesus

>>149583487
Bust

Your team sucks and Flames rule. Oh it’s true, it’s damn true!

>>149583478
They should have brought a Shetland pony instead to take inspiration from it.

But then it would be animal cruelty to compare that to the laffs.

>>149583706
Retarr

What type of horse is JTRHNBR?

the horse from Schenectady?

the horse has no name

>>149583750
Jen

>>149583478
>>149583750
>I've been through a cupless desert on a horse with no name

>>149583721
Sybau boii

>>149583478
>you have to break. the. buck.
geeze, hayley...

>>149583795
Someone will hire her to be GM even though all she did with the Leafs while she was there for five years was give the prospects a horse

>>149583795
The Americans had our flag on the floor in their dressing room and now I want to know if they want us to sign it

>>149583795
you guys think she has a fake penis that she uses to rape the males around her to assert her dominance over them just like female hyenas do?

>>149583883
Sad

Why does he still have a job

>>149583958
ayo my boy ken is into grampas!

>>149583876
Seems familiar...

>>149583958
>this is the guy Samir sucks off
Grim...

>>149583958
KWAB

>>149584041
>w*man xeet
shan't be reading it

>>149584051
based we don't read women voices here

>>149584051
she's cool

>>149584051
>>149584059
Chuds

>>149584051
post pic of biceps

>retiring 16 is a no no
wow, what other riveting opinions does she have?

>>149584204

>>149584215
Seethe lol

rachel is OBSESSED
omg

i'm thinking about doing a valley girl gimmick for /hoc/
>as if

>>149584163
cope rachel

>>149584204
Are you saying there are zero retards high up in the Leafs organization?

>>149584264
did you see like Dustin Wolf like literally was the like best rookie goalie

>>149584279
ugh, not even

>>149584292
ugh you're so jelly

White Power White Girl Breakfast Club bro's we're doing brunch again

>>149584328
omg I'm THERE

>>149584341
did you see what Lauren was wearing when her man busted the cup omg

>already getting alerts on my phone for stories about the 2026 free agent class
Grim

reminder

>>149584423
>dark mode

>>149584423
you should watch him though

>>149584328
jen

we DO love Doob here

>>149583478
>no one will be getting on the horse
is the horse getting on them then?

>>149584399
checked
interns are panicking

>>149583478
still using the ukrainian flag in 2025 holy grim scatman

>>149584423
How about dem soilers thinking bout signing carter hart? This board trying to bring the flamiac down but we gotta stay strong

you cant spell oilers without I'm a gay shitty basketball court bust

>>149584423
Have the good ol boys beaten the kangaroo court yet?

My stomach just twisted around, but I can't take a Marner because I still have 3/4 of my dinner left and I don't want it to get cold.

>>149577180
Chili dogs were pretty good. Chopped up some onions and jalepenos for toppings.

>>149584268
Where’s Tavares?

which flames player would you pick to play Wonderful Tonight for?
you cant pick Wolfie I already did

oh wow, randy

Marner's 35 when that contract ends? I bet he comes back to Toronto

>>149584215
How hilarious would it be if (when?) he inevitably pops off in vegas and gets further than the >laffs ever did?

>>149584613
push through, sven

Today a zoomer wore a 4 nations hat at the gym :)

it’s up
https://youtu.be/Mva31J6qpqM?feature=shared

>>149584659
Didn’t ask (:

You know what I like about hockey? Not being a weird contract obsessed freak. Not being a trade and draft obsessed soiboy.

Just watching the fucking games and banging on the glass. That's what hockey is about.

>>149584659
was he bussin?

>>149584671
Didn’t ask

>>149584671

>>149584215
Inside everyone there are two Marners

>>149584640
they started with a top line winger/center custom made for their speedy system at 3 million aav and turned it into 2 middle six forwards and a bottom pairing defenseman all for the low, low price of 22 million dollars annually
bravo tulsky you've done it again

>>149584671
It's impossible to ignore contracts and salary in a hard cap era. When you Swedes send soft players who demand massive contracts and then instantly stop giving a shit, it makes it harder to cheer for your team and have hope for a successful season.

>>149584671
I like looking at bad contracts. It’s the same feeling I get when I see a stock hellcat peeling out of the local red crab juicy seafood.

>>149584673
He seemed cool. I wish I had frens to work out with and exchange fitness advice

>>149584659
>4 nations hat

>>149584773
Hey pal on this block we don’t make posts about Mister Micky Mouse like that.

>>149584763
strike up a convo with him
tell him the gym music is mid

>>149584550
We gonna hold strong pekka

>>149584727
Did someone mention swedes that stop playing?

>>149584884
Marner always shows up in those big games

> Update On The Oilers' Goalie Search: "We think we're fucked totally but this Hart story we made up seems to have legs and we think we can kike our way through this."

>>149584727
>Soft Swedes
>Americans banned bodychecks
KWAB

>>149584742
Ayo Tyrone! Was good man?

>>149584884
They should have crowded mcdavid like the kitties did.
If the ZOGs had a coach like Maurice I don't think things would have ended the same

>>149584819
I’ll try that with the other 20-30 something males who are forced to live in their hometowns because of high rent

>>149576813 (OP)
why the fuck is this nobody the OP?

>>149584969
the playoffs are over so every thread is flames themed

>>149584969
Our flames just signed a new contract with him!!!

>>149584982
grim
Not like being a non-playoff team stopped the retards

can the next thread be flames themed, pls and thank you

>>149584994
is he good?

>>149585014
agreed

>>149585016
Not really lmao

>>149585014
Retard

>>149584727
I bet this piece of shit says he comes from Northern Sweden.

>>149585031
damn

NEW
>>149585072
>>149585072
>>149585072

>>149585075

>>149585077
>>149585078

>>149585077
shan't
>>149585078
shall

>>149585077
we'll just use this one then as it was first posted

Shall be thread splitting

>>149580963
Adopt instead!