Thread 149672716

You meet him in 2012, what advice do you give him?

i tell him braca is a good team son one of the best don't fuck that up by going to psg

>>149672750
>bro just sit down and listen to messi and call him jefe and pretend he is superior to you until you retire

>>149672716 (OP)
Tell him to stay in Santos.

>>149672716 (OP)
go to bayern

>>149672716 (OP)
sopa de macaco. uma delicia.

>>149672716 (OP)
I beat the shit out of him and promise to come back if he keeps fucking trannies

>>149672716 (OP)
i'd tell him to lay off the incest gooning session like fr bruh :pray:

>>149672880
Could have been kino but wouldn't have worked desu. Too cold, too much work ethic expected and stuff

>>149672716 (OP)
sell him on the idea of playing in serie a

>>149673033
pep was going to set the team around him

I tell him to get vaxxed so he can catch autism and maybe have a chance to get Ronaldo's work ethic

>>149672716 (OP)
2012 he was still at santos, i'd tell him to pick halal instead because farca is poison. they wanted him too iirc

2013 - Orb
2014 - California Chrome
2015 - American Pharoah

Tickers: $NVDA, $SHOP, $TPL

>>149672808
If Santos wasn't good enough then he should really have joined another Brazilian club

>>149673240
City couldn't really do much better than they did

>>149672716 (OP)
Stay with Barça for as long as possible, and never become le playmaker Messi copy, stay as a winger, score first, pass second.

>>149672716 (OP)
dont go to the carnaval every year

>>149672716 (OP)
>Brazil's all time top scorer
>hundreds of millions
>famous worldwide
He had a career 99% of footballers dream of and did all of that while not taking it seriously.
>>149673072
Neymar at Juventus could have been interesting. Instead, they bought a washed up Ronaldo who ruined the club.

>>149672716 (OP)
Go to Chelsea and play alongside prime Hazard

This is your friend

>>149674318
>washed up Ronaldo
>literally their better player by a mile
>have barely won anything since he left
Ronaldo derangement syndrome

>>149672716 (OP)
I'd tell him that he will always be Messi's bitch

>>149672716 (OP)
Do NOT let Kylian Mbappé join PSG, he will ruin your career.

Dont let Diogo get on that ferrari

>>149672716 (OP)
Publicly endorse Hillary Clinton.

>>149672716 (OP)
for christ sake
can you go one year without having to go brazil for your sisters birthday/incest sesh

>>149672716 (OP)

>Dont let Gabigol fuck your sister, she is yours only

>>149672716 (OP)
Hey don’t be so gay it will ruin your image

>>149672716 (OP)
Hello dawg Neymar,
Do not go to psg go to arsenal bro
Best regards,
Homeless guy

Stop it with all the flopping and fuckboy stuff.

No clue honestly. Not leaving Barca seems like the obvious one but the club would have still went to shit due to mismanagement. Though I guess if he stuck around after the shitshow he'd be the leader of the current Barca squad which is pretty good and that would be a nice legacy. Going to Man City or Bayern also looks good but I think La Liga was the perfect fit for him. For some reason Brazilians change when they go to the Prem or Bundesliga. And if he joined Madrid instead of Barcelona he'd have to compete with Ronaldo and Bale so if anything there would be a bigger danger of him being overshadowed in Madrid than in Barcelona

Hard to say. Best answer is stay in Barcelona and focus on your career imstead of partying else you're gonna flop hard. And I don't think Messi would have minded if Neymar eventually became the media's favorite instead

>>149672716 (OP)
I'd tell him to get away from his father, not that any other agent he could have gotten instead would be much better.

>>149674960
>ronaldo was literally expected to win the champions league with a midfield consisting of rabiot and matuidi with pirlo as his manager

>>149676882
>For some reason Brazilians change when they go to the Prem or Bundesliga
Macacos can't handle moderate weather.

>>149672776
O TWAIN

>>149672716 (OP)
PASS THE FUCKING BALL

Stay away from.this nigga
You can have a great family life or a top 5 career, your choice

>>149677256
He's 3rd alltime international assist leader? He was ahead of messi before the ACL

>>149677664
I don't give a fuck, he would have double the number of assists if he passed the ball more often

>>149672716 (OP)
>You meet him in 2012, what advice do you give him?
You know you have enough money to fuck someone other than your sister, right?

>>149677828
But I want to see him nutmeg and double sombreo, go watch kdb for that boring shit

>>149677964
and this is why he got so many injuries

>>149672880
Too ruthless, they wouldn't put up with his macaco antics

>>149672716 (OP)
you NEED to win against corinthians at copalib you fucking retarded

>>149672716 (OP)
Trust me mano, you'll achieve greatness if you join Leeds United.

>>149675219
Explain.

>>149674960
Barely won anythign while he was there
>his 1st year he ended their 4 year Coppa Italia winning streak
>his 2nd year was the first time in 8 years Juve ended the season with just 1 trophy
>his 3rd year he ended their 9 year league title streak

>>149679281
mbappé derangement syndrome

>>149672716 (OP)
Stop having sex with your sister, bro

>>149672716 (OP)
join Real, win 10 UCLs. Skip the Columbia game

>>149672716 (OP)
Go to the least physically demanding top league you can find.

>>149672716 (OP)
Invest in NTF

>>149672716 (OP)
just marry your sister and stay in Barça

>>149672716 (OP)
Tell him everything he wants to hear. Become his bro and live a lixury lifestyle without working

>>149672716 (OP)

use your influence to get a real manager for the Brazil team instead of those bus drivers and a washed up Scolari

>>149680870
Do friends of famous people just get money from them through bank account transfers? Probably not right?

Move to EPL
Stay away from PSG
Don’t play vs Columbia in the 14’ WC
Warn him of the 7-1 huelocaust

>>149672716 (OP)
"buy all the Katowice 2014 stickers"

>>149672716 (OP)
Buy bitcoins and fire your father

>>149681953
based cs investor

>>149674066
kek

>>149672716 (OP)
Probably go to Dortmund, they were one world class player away from building a dynasty both in Germany and Europe.

Stop fucking your sister

buy bitcoin
go to barcelona and stay for 10 years at least. yes, the money might be tempting, but do not leave. the money will come. there's a country called saudi arabia that will give you 8 billion dollars once you've solidified yourself as the goat.

>>149679409
let's check on the goat see how he did

>>149672716 (OP)
I wouldn't say a single word to him. I would listen to what he has to say and that's what no one did.

>>149672716 (OP)
start learning english

>>149672716 (OP)
>what advice do you give him?
Kys

>>149672716 (OP)
Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, you have to pump a few babies into that sister of yours. Do it for all of us.

>>149672880
reminder that Pep actually wanted him at Bayern but they made him go for "German Messi" Mario Götze instead