Thread 149716138

India tour of England, 3rd Test @ Lord's

scorecard at the end of day 1:
ENGLAND 251/4.

JE Root 99* (191)
KNK Reddy 14/0/46/2

YFO

>>149716105
>we're all tradies, a big bunch of tough strong men ooooo
kek don't make me laugh, you pozzies love to pretend you're all hard nuts but the reality is you're all poofters from Fitzroy drinking soi lattes

>>149716151
anyone know which country currently holds the ashes

>>149716151
working in trades is a 100% preventative cure to early-onset bouldering and blogposting

soulless micksperg bot reply

>99*
based tbqhwy

>>149716185
meant for
>>149716230

should declare before he gets his hundred so he doesn't risk taking away lara's 400*

>33 runs away from immortality
>nah
lmao do saffers really

lara still has an unmatchable FC score anyway

So basically
My mum is a millionaire
But it's going to take a whole weekend to clear this place out

Shivnarine Chanderpaul

reddit player 2bh

I wouldn't be surprised if my family was richer than Zachys
Doesn't define me though

30k north Koreans sent to the front line
Dnipropetrovsk being free of globohomos
Priceless

>>149716487
theres always a bigger fish

South Korea is an occupied state
China one day will take back the whole of the pacific
Japan will be finished before they even finish sucking up the yanks who nuked them
China's revenge on Japan is going to be a sight to behold

They say revenge is a dish best serve cold
And that's definitely how it's going to go it's down
As far China>>>Japan is concerned

>>149716645
I used to think NK was controlled by China and used to test populace control techniques before implementing on a much larger Chinese population

The Japanese will get nuked by the yanks and suck up to them afterwards
The Chinese will build tech that enables them to invade Japan

I have had some wild dreams lately
The thing is
The world can't contain my genius

Still 16c here lads I’ve got all the windows open and burning sandalwood to keep out the midgies (mosquitoes, don’t ask don’t know)

>>149716821
you should really have the windows closed and heater on mate, you'll freeze to death

>>149716673
It’s much worse, BK is controlled by Marxist-Nazis

>>149716848
I just got out of the shower and I’m on the lazy boy by the window with only a towel between the universe and my modesty

>>149716848
>heater
I hope you meant open fireplace

burning sandalwood incense by the open window keeps the mozzies out anyway so that’s a useful summer tip

prefer burning birkenstocks me

Had to break out the big guns to beat these sweltering nighttime conditions

>>149717262
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DHQdr2DKKVg/

ACTUAL MONG

>>149717269
nice one mate, sent it on to the missus she’ll laugh tomorrow

MONG

MONG

England are winning right now

Remember Cooper Connolly?

PVO

>>149718513
I still think he's quality (one of the best coming through)

>>149718513
nrl?

I am blind
And you are ugly
It's so easy to want you
I want you, I want you, I want you
feeling around
(Love will be revealed) walking really slow
(Watching from the side) I wanna know you, baby
(Tell me how it feels) love will be revealed

Shivnarine Chanderpaul

>>149718891
isn't his son coming through the system at the moment?

>>149717412
grim

Something fishy about a black coach telling a white batsman playing a black team not to break a black batsman’s record iykwim haha
bet bavuka would have been allowed to break the record if you catch my drift

Can't wait to get rid of certain coffee table

Most of the work is already done

I hope the Indians beat England. It would be good for England.

you just cant be a hoarder

forgot pic

>>149718919
kids of professional sportsmen barely ever make it
they aren't having kids with maria Sharapova, they are having kids with gold diggers

>kids
foy

Bazball, more like Spazball iykwim haha

The offspring of professional sportsmen basically never make it

>>149719177
we went through this a few threads ago champ

They aren't having offspring with Martina Navratilova
There isn't really a single case in history of an elite sportsman producing an elite sportsman child

>>149719201
I bet you'd find they make it at a far higher rate than the average joe

>>149719217
Peter and Shaun Pollock
Geoff Marsh and sons
Chris and Stuart Broad
Ian Healey
Lance and Chris Cairns
John, Brenda and Doug Bracewell
Do you need me to do all sports?

>>149719248
literally none of these is a case of an elite sportsman producing an elite sportsman child

>>149719182
Mongball

>>149719262
just wait till alyssa and starc pump out a 7 foot wicket keeper

Its partly lesbianism that is an explanation
To be good at sport you need a lesbian mum basically
But also, there is no drive if your dad is already a millionaire sportsman

children of good sportsmen don't exist because they don't have children
this is approximately the truth

elite sportsmen offspring of sportsmen don't exist because they don't have children
this is approximately the truth

elite sportsmen offspring of sportswomen don't exist because they don't have children
this is approximately the truth

Can't wait to get my keys to the pad
Might eat my keys

>wake up
>zachy still rambling about keys

>>149719348
>>149719354
>>149719360
Nigga are you retarded?

>>149719386
can't wait to get my keys
(Might eat them)

do people moving into a new place usually stay up all night drunkenly rambling to themselves?

yeah

My God Mason and Dixon is a heavy book
Basically split my cardboard box

I need to remember
I have all weekend to clear this place out

*5mg of creatine straight down the gullet*

You know you're meant to cycle off that stuff right?

complete meme
creatine exists in basically all animal protein

I think we are getting there
I will feel way better once I take that coffee table to the skip

Out with the old, in with the new

Going to grind hard today
My boss will be proud

Really not sure I gave enough clothes to Oxfam

I suppose this situation is workable

don't think I'd wear maharishi even if I was homeless

zachy having one of his episodes again?

>>149719726
Yeah hes a bit OED at times

time for a power nap me thinks

just need to get my keys and eat them
after that point, everything is workable

please don't be mean to zachy, he's a homeowner now.

Oi Zachy why don't you invite the /cric/ lads to a party in your new home

homeleaser actually

Frankly, Mr. Shankly

>>149719853
maybe I will

>>149719724
filtered

imagine this: we all go to zachy's new place to watch the criccy

>>149716613
kek good one this

>>149719902
ill bring the goon (boxed wine (im NOT one of those FREAKS!))

do you think zachys flat could even fit all 4 of us?

>>149720055
Might need to tell mumza to buy a second sofa

Boxing day test /cric/ get-together at Zachy's

just as long as I don't have to go bouldering later

bouldering is optional but bumdering is mandatory

If you've got fags I'll smoke them with ya

lol i bet you will lol

me enjoying the boxing day festivities at zachy's place

>>149719390
not him but yes

>2025
>still reading mid-century American pomp slop

>2025
>reading

>2025
>still living in england

>2025
>still living

>>149720140
don't think zachy will allow peewees, sorry mate

>>149720196
it says no peeweeS, we're allowed to have one.

Finally chucked that coffee table
Feeling like a new man

off to The Hague in a couple of hours to see if we can beat Italy and go to the world cup

Did you keep the rug at least?

you can use that coat you got as a bin liner for all this rubbish mate haha

cant believe bazball is over bros
godo while it lasted

unbearable stench of mong in this thread

starting to prefer non-game threads since theres less blowies

I feel like /cric/ is only good during the ashes

the maharishi raincoat?

giving this album a second spin
think there might be a bit in those memes about zachy knowing /mu/ but not /fa/ and /tv/ tbg

>>149720282
yeah or the £300 bin bag as it were haha

The boundary rope is a failed experiment
Good fun while it lasted, I guess? NOPE!

we're a Twin Fantasy (2011) general

you guys ever tried butyl nitrite?

>>149720384
good album
Cameron Winter- Heavy Metal is on par though
and he's not even an industry plant....

sometimes i run around my house pretending to do bumrahs run up

Why can't they start at 10
Such a languid sport, thank fuck test won't exist in 20 years

sometimes I run around around my bedsit pretending to be a prime Mohammad Asif

>Cameron Winter- Heavy Metal
Skipped through this for 2mins.
Not a single track had interesting sonics, and really the mixing was pretty subpar despite the perceived volume.
Another one of those albums where all the "soul" is in the composition, but the sonic choices are all dog shit and the mixdowns are uninspiring.

The Danish Kaneria Googly

don't think there's been any great albums for ages
music isn't in as bad shape as cinema but is still quite bad now

>>149720426
it's a grower
it's basically a good version of nick cave (you're only good musician btw oh nononono)

>>149720440
cameron winter heavy metal is unironically a good album
true about cinema that's why I'm not renewing my picturehouse membership

In foss island B & M anyone want owt

Honestly don't disagree. The music industry is more saturated than ever and theres a LOT of trash out there.
Rap, despite being #1 genre in the world, is in the gutter at the moment.
Hyperpop and other adjacent zoomer genres were refreshing 5 years ago but the sound already feels a bit dated and I'm not seeing as much innovation there as I was previously.
Botanica has also been refreshing more recently, but isn't really that groundbreaking.
Thank God that jazz is always dependable

sebbo

Dunno why I'm so angry today.

I'd say I'm angry around 65% of the time

>"Now that things have settled a little bit, I've chatted a little bit to Brian Lara," Mulder told SuperSport. "He said to me I'm creating my own legacy and I should have gone for it. He said records are there to be broken and he wishes if I'm ever in that position again, I actually go and score more than what he had."
>"That was an interesting point of view from his side, but I still believe I did the right thing and respecting the game is the most important part for me."
a life of regret

Bouldering isn't even crossing my mind

spaccy "not really into cricket anymore" borewen

Timesplitters 2
Now there was a game

Good win for the Pears last night, great recovery from 10-4 (thoughbeit against bottom of the league)

Pears vs Bears grudge match at New Road tonight, I'm semi-erect with anticipation

When is the estate agent going to let me know what time to pick my keys up
Really hungry

should just merge Birmingham and Worcs into one team desu
it's basically the same thing and would make for a more competitive league

>still hasn't cracked 50k @ 40
MONG

>>149716138 (OP)
DO NOT REDEEM THE LIKES SAAR

why don't you just give the estate agent a call and get an update? not afraid are you KEK?

>>149720587
mumza usually handles important calls for him

you're not always a 'great' just because you play 100 tests. even Ishant Sharma got there kek
Starc is more of an elite ODI bowler and a 'good' test bowler. nobody's going to remember his test career once he's done

doing some rather wet farts as I walk up lord mayors walk right now
I blame the creatine

>>149720602
He probably the only aussie pace bowler to pass the eye test since Mitchell Johnson
Definitely the Aussie bowler I'd least want to face out of our current big 3 (at their peaks)

>>149720565
people are retarded and are still packing on the last day, sometimes you won't get the keys until the evening

>>149720633
fucks up your kidneys mate
you need to quite that shite asap trust me

Lads I’ve started working on /cric/ welcome to country should be ready tomorrow or the day after if not earlier

the aus poster who was going to debut the gimmick about his bum didn't deliver. sad

>>149720641
did you move to Ireland because you're not welcome in Australia until you perform that ritual?

Jonny Bairstow: Test match great

York is just an onslaught of traffic
As I am picking up my Yorkshire citizenship today expect me to get a lot more critical about York in general
The grass is always greener on the other side and let me tell you it ain't green here

>>149720281
/cric/ was grim during last ashes
so much seething and sebbospam

zachy seethes at bairstow because no matter how hard he larps he can never become a genuine yorkie himself

>>149720646
I come to Ireland for the weather

>>149720569
Birmingham and south/rural Worcestershire couldn't be more spiritually different desu

I will concede that north Worcestershire shitholes like Redditch and the minster of Kiddies are just pseudo Birmingham shitholes thoughever

I'd advocate selling them to Birmingham and then using the proceeds to buy areas of rural Herefordshire, Gloucestershire, and Shropshire, and creating and independent West England ethnostate

>>149720648
They force the dogwalkers to pick up the shit but never collect the piss

>>149720640
source

breathing a lot easier now that coffee table has been taken to the skip

think there is a reason I didn't go bouldering today or yesterday
this has been a workout in itself

If Yorkshire was an independent country, it would be the poorest country in Europe, below even the likes of Moldova or Albania. Like many of the UK regions, it’s completely subsidised by the London tax base

you're not chucking out the famous amazon gaming chair are you zachy la? it's an icon of /cric/

Imagine a grand republic of Scotland, Ireland, Yorkshire, Wales, Cornwall, and Cumbria, and the enclave of Scousonia. An independent England is the only way forward

>>149720722
They create nothing of value in Yorkshire unfortunately, except maybe Yorkshire Tea (unironic king of the teabags)

The West of England ethnostate could develop Dubai/Saudi-tier riches by dominating the world market for cider

Pretty hyped for the posthumous John Burnside collection, not gonna lie

Thinking about what else I can chuck in the bin

>>149720726
Might keep it
Worth a lot of money now
Pondered many Danish kaneria Googly on it

I think I have chucked everything in the bin that is Chuckable

will have to buy a lot of new clothes then I guess haha

you fashun bruh
you rocking those new balance bruh

Zoomers don’t like dry or cloudy cider. They only drink that sweet Swedish rubbish, your Kopperbergs, your Rekorderligs

>>149720664
I am literally a yorkshireman from today onwards
Basically etched into the magna carta

>>149720739
implying this would be allowed

corr blimey

Cameron Winter- Heavy Metal sounds immediately good, and you naturally are sceptical. But it doesn't lie, doesn't deceive, it really is just that good.

OH MY DAYS
WARWICKSHIRE BEARS COMPLETELY AND IRREVOCABLY BTFO

nothing wrong with NB

excessively large breasts are not attractive

>>149720910
reckon shane had a crack in the day
why else would one go to thailand?

>>149720925
played out
Mizuno Wave riders are better

>>149720926
based Trent bout
How is Perth steamworks and the IPL mate?

there is something quite dare I say it Kafkaesque about buying a property in the UK
You think you are over the line but you never quite are
It's like there is 5 confirmations of exchanging ahead of the actual exchange
Quite baffling

can't quite wrap my massive head and brain around it

what's Kafkaesque about not knowing when you're over the line?
not convinced you know what Kafkaesque means

>>149720219
gl mate. filthy wogs don't belong in cricket.

Fuck me Strauss looks silly.

Mong Strauss still ripping off mong punters for his dead mong wife. The eternal mongs

>>149721027
this but mcgrath

you're a fraud mate. never done anything natty
>bankrolled unearned cash for creatine for chins
>bankrolled unearned cash for property and investments
>bankrolled unearned cash for dating app boosts / premium subscriptions
>bankrolled unearned cash for doggy PEDs for bouldering
wow it must have been so hard working every day of your life to have rich parents and grandparents

>>149721012
I've been over the line literally 5 times by now
But I think, finally, I am there now
But who knows
This country is so intensely legal
Orwell wasn't wrong

>>149721041
creatine hasn't actually made me any better at weighted chin-ups desu
The Welsh have natural creatine anyway
there is titanium hold-up at +55kg
I could break it if I were to bulk then cut
But not sure I can be arsed

>>149721041
truthnuke

You are just constantly confirming the future confirmation will go ahead
Pretty much sums up buying a property in the UK

Letting off fireworks in the bright sunshine

Swear the worst thing you could be is a cricketer's wife. If you die they'll start a foundation in your name and monetise your untimely demise.

>never done anything natty
rented for four years in a strange city
how about that

switching over to the cricket to see poot's century then switching back to the footy

>>149721112
yep I'd only marry a footballer or rugbyer.

>>149720910
corrpengarse
would googly with gusto eyequeem haaa

Why did Strauss just copy Glen McGrath? Doesn't his dead slag of a wife deserve something original?

GOTTEM GONE

>>149721124
>switching back to the footy
South Afrtca vs. Angola U20s?

>>149721153
they call rugby league "footy" there just like the league fans in northern England here do.

>>149721148
Seen no evidence that Strauss cheated on his dying, cancer-ridden wife and created a foundation to make himself feel better about it

remember when people thought kohli was in the big 4 lol

>>149721041
done him here. offstump's gone for a spin

Jerusalem always gets me a little bit emotional. Should be the national anthem I think.

>>149721167
Zachy isn't simply a person, he's a concept

I will keep rolling down until my best shirt rolls off
Until the conga line behind me is a thousand chickens long

MCGRATH: "What does Lara's dick taste like?"

CANCER: "Don't know I'm in your wife's tits"

not sure a flat / bedsit is enough to contain the welsh dragon
should have got a 2 bed house or something
bit neeky having a flat in york isn't it? more of a london thing where prices force you to never own a home

>>149721148
>mong
>not a crippling narcissist
Instead of being a forgotton nobodies these two mong cunts hijack two of cricketing days each year make it all about them

if they bazzed this they'd have 550 runs right now but the crusty old boomers don't like scoring runs for some reason

>>149721195
bazball should be a second innings policy

>>149720489
'chabin bla x

Why does Siraj wear sun cream? He seems plenty dark enough to not get burned

>>149720910
bet she does smelly farts

if a captain has tattoos i just dont see him as a leader
found appropriate image res

>>149721190
houses are more to take on board
1 bedroom flat is fine for a first buy
I don't really need two bedrooms
Any mates who sleep here can just sleep on a futon (and NOT on my 600 quid sofa that is arriving, as they will probably dribble and fart on it)

tattoos are for ultrabrainlets (btw this is why nobody believes bard's tattooed sister is also some sort of UC genius). the more ink the smoother the brain

>>149721225
think it also reflects heat and can be cooling

3 is perfect really, master bedroom with ensuite, spare bedroom for rellies and a third for your wfh office

Mong poot should retire or be jimmy'd before he hijacks the test runs/centuries record. Someone who looks like a terminally ill child and such ugly batting technique should not hold any records.

He finds anyone with a tattoo too intimidating to slag off to their face
So he does it on 4chan.org on Anon to maintain plausible deniability that he posted it

GOTTEM GONE PISS OFF YOURE OUT

GOTTEM GAWN

David Foster Wallace monologue on tattoos is good desu
No idea why one would wear jewelry they can never take off

t. smooth brained mong who got a tattoo of his ex when drunk

>>149721233
agreed. poohli started this regrettable trend in the Indian team

kek i already have this webm'd

>>149721275
oh dear, whereabouts did you get it + what was his name?

>commentator goes on about stokes not having scored a century, and loves the ground and it lifts players
>gets bowled next ball
fucking KEK
>keeping low after 1.0001 days
grim areas

>>149721237
OMG this is so funny
When am I picking up my keys lads
Have I been ghosted

our batting starts with Smith. the others are free wickets.

>>149721285
haha

>le ball stays le low
swear stokes says this every time he's bowled
probably watched too much sachin tenbottler

>>149721289
Lower back
Tyrone

>>149721307
thanks

>clapping a guy who was out on 44
retards.
>>149721285
I'm seeing double, four dismissals.

NOOOOO YOU DIDN'T MAKE THIS DEAD LIFELESS ROAD LIFELESS ENOUGH

t. Mong Stokes

If I was Stokes, I’d retire now instead of after the inevitable 4-0 loss down under.

everyone wants a lively pitch until they're bowled by one that keeps low

>>149721311
He missed it by a mile lol.

>>149721317
zoomer cricket is like that. a quick 50 > a normal century

bumrash saw my low res pic of pookes and was inspired to bowl him out

>>149721285
tabla x

not only did zachy buy a flat he also bought a 1 bed lmao

had enough
going to ring up the estate agents because I am not scared and they are annoying me

he didn't buy it
mumsy did

Smith has a good style

>>149721350
yeah
but in an extremely soulful area
why do I need a house

just got one of those posh sounding neeky mongs trying to hurry up a purchase lads
told him his mummy will have to get in touch because it's in her name lol

Yeah I'll just buy some house in Thirsk
A big neek mansion

DROPPED THE PATEL(Samit)-PATEL(Munaf)

Wow Siraj trying to murder an innocent ladybug

That's the 2nd best slips field in the entire nation of India.

>>149721373
deano my son

oh ffs
>>149721148
Strauss married a pure Aussie Shelia who he met whilst as a door to door cricket bat salesman whilst playing grade cricket. Meanwhile McGrath married some West Country air hostess.

bumrahwinslol

if we can get Smith to curate a "walker" reputation and yell at opposing batsmen for not walking, he can become the next Gilchrist.

Reckon I’ll sneak a ‘miscellaneous administration charges’ onto this neeks final bill and see if he’s got the guts to challenge. Probably will be too excited that he’s finally secured the leasehold and won’t want to lose face in front of his mum

>Score a century then get bored
Yep seen this one before

POOT POOT POOT POOT POOT
POOT POOT POOT POOT
POOT POOT POOT POOT POOT
>poot
>poot
>poot
POOT POOT POOT

POOT POOT

P O O T
O
O
T

we'll see some bindian flags in here soon now (screencap this)

Seriously
When are they handing over the keys
This is ridiculous

>>149721385
Big Bad Samit even now would be better than Bashit

Serious poolapse here

Reckon they've swindled Zachy and there never really was a property for sale

They’ve just decided the play shit this morning. Really needed about 400 on, now it will be lucky to get to 300.

Might go down to the park and watch my local team play instead of another England poolapse

just scammed some retard out of his mummy's money by "selling" a flat belonging to a bloke currently abroad.

Third umpire so excited to see a spike on snicko lmao

its stokesverr
its joever
its woakesver

You could even seen the ball deviated on that replay.

That was similar to my one on Saturday desu
Fielding side were convinced they heard something and incredulous that I didn't walk, but I simply didn't feel anything on the bat
Maybe there was a little feather, maybe not

Business Idea:
Don't lose 3 wickets in 3 overs

GONE HE'S GOTTEN A HAT TRICK ON HIS TOILET UNVEILING DAY

>>149721462
reckon par is 320

didn't walk because you're a dirty brum-irish cheat
it was all genetics

>>149721456
I highly doubt it

If chuckrah gets a hattie that saffer should have gone for 600 runs.

Monglapse

>>149721462
Dire turgid pitch at the request of captain mong but 300 is likely plenty if you get early wickets before the Dukes ball softens, especially given India's tail

Scotland can only manage a measly 133 against Jersey with world cup qualification on the line. They don't deserve to make it.

>>149721486
NOT YET HE HASN'T, THE PLUMBER HASN'T CONNECTED THE PIPE TO THE SEWERAGE MAINS

Simply just not going to accept any wickets from the chucker
As far as I'm concerned England are sat comfortably on 271-3

>>149721499
Nah this lots will need 400 to get a comfortable first innings lead, but it ain’t happening and 300 looks an ask.

>>149721517
the gun@canary wharf, donedone
5 minutes, champ

knows his judo well this one

>>149721517
this is quite true

what is the charge? a succulent play on dismissal?

mad how when the sandpaper scandal occurred it was a genuine upheaval for the sport but we literally have evidence of bumrash chucking the ball and nobody says anything because they're scared of the BCCI

>constantly complains about bowling attack
>never complains about batter
wokey b

gentlemen this is wicketkeeping-batsmanning manifest

>>149721552
yeah but it's okay because he chucks it slightly differently to how you normally chuck, and even though it's still a chuck and lets him bowl fast off a slow bowler run-up, and then chuck it even harder when he wants an effort ball, it's okay

carse always plays like a low iq cretin. why is he slogging when Smith is there?
tattoos by any chance?

Glenn McChucker was measured by biomechanists to have a greater elbow bend than Murali and the laws of cricket were fiddled to accomodate McChucker's chucking

>>149721577
this is also quite true

Will Smith be able to save England yet again?

So they have told me I can now go pick up my keys
I am surprised there isn't another layer to this
Surely when I get there I will have to book an appointment with the key man

>>149721493
Fortunately I am not polluted by any Birmingham genes

>>149721564
this is probably kind of the logic but the thing is he's never even been tested
mad how much corruption the BCCI have poured in this (s)poort

my idea: open with Smith so he's not stranded on innings-saving scores again

Bumrah's action should not be legal

>root statpads his way to a hundred
>a good bowler comes on
>he gets out
hmm...

>>149721493
even worse hasn’t he said its L*verpoo Irish

can safely say I'm a better bowler than Jasprit Bumrah
might not be a better chucker
but I'm a better bowler

kallis like shot that
driving good length balls for four

Mad how Woakes has averaged single figures for the past year
What went so horribly wrong

learned that Bradman holds the record score for #7 (270, higher than #6 which is Stoke's 258) only because in that particular test he decided to reverse the order so tailenders came in first, openers last etc.
Could he BE any more fraudulent?

>>149721652
just shows how casual the sport was back then and how little notice we should pay to the statistics of the time

woakes genuinely looks about 80
anglos (Germans) age like milk

currently drinking: port

>>149721652
Zachy was telling us about this time when the ball was hit into a tree and so they got 286 runs from 1 delivery

>>149721520
Rahul fucked up dropping that catch, 5-10 more overs and the ball will be dead. India batting last and the pitch has taken spin on day 1

That #7 record ought to be held by a genuine wicketkeeper-batsman with a not-out score, but instead that wardodging fraud put it well out of reach. Gilchrist has 204* which is third.

>>149721686
that's going to cause some damage to the ships haha

Bumrah wicket webm's where?

When did bowlers become so fucking precious about the hardness of the balls?

WHY DIDN'Y YOU REDEEM THE BLOODY NEW BALL TO THE ONE WE WANTED I FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING UMPIRE BLOODY BHENCHOD

>>149721652
The record 721 runs in a day versus Essex at Southend came about because he picked the strongest Aussie XI to play a tour game versus one of the then weaker counties. He did similar in the first class games against counties in 1948.

Dropped Clarrie Grimmet, Keith Miller and Tiger O’Riley due to personal dislikes.

Stuart Broad is a fucking faggots. Not fit to tie Ponting's shoelaces.

>>149721737
what a disgusting excuse for a "human" """being""".

>>149721744
>t. David Warner

>>149721724
Mongs asked for flat roads and soft Dukes to facilitate mongball©

Smith hits a cricket ball

not many people who knew bradman liked him

>>149721599
Got to be worth trying that (dropping Crawley, obviously) and bringing Rew in to bat at 6 and be the specialist keepsman

Get rid of Bashir for Dawson too and we just might have a chance of beating Australia every once in a while, although the bowling attack is still pretty weak overall

Right I am off to pick up these keys (and probably not eat them)
Carpe Diem
Sieze the day
That's what my grandfather has always said

>>149721768
Like the old gag about Van Morrison
>why don’t music writers like Van Morrison
>because they’ve met him

GONE GOTTEN AND FUCKED OFF

do under-pressure bowlsmen feel the need to slog it in the off-chance people heap praise on their boundaries to cover up for their lack of wickets?

>>149721599
Nah, they’ll leave where he is. Scores more runs for England at 7 then he does for Surrey further up the order.

Business idea: a series of cricket themed adventure novels in the style of Wilbur Smith

My mind radiates power

>>149721652
I find it funny that not one of the times the order got reversed that the eventual #11 got to 100. There's only been four tons from #10 but the first guy did it in the 1880s seems to have been a batter who just happened to be at 10 because because everyone batted deep in those days, while the #10 from the 2nd one was a batter who went in at 10 because of the wicket. The other two were bowlers.

PVO (peewee vermin out)

>>149721820
alri grimes

>>149721822
oh that's what that means haha

did jaiswal just rip his shirt haha

How long do we give Nigger Archer in the game until he breaks down?
Will he make it to his first spell?

What happened to Rishabh's Pants?

Are the jeets not RED FOR RUTH?

Can't even remember where this estate agent exists
Imagine if got killed by some deano in a 4 x 4 on the way

I say a spell of 13 overs while the crowd sings Leadbelly’s classic ‘Pick a Bale of Cotton’

Listening to Stuart Broad is worse than listening to that peewee rat they tour around the world to commentate

>>149721853
Don’t think anyone knows. He wasn’t very good in the Champions Trophy, couldn’t get through a spell, he didn’t play in the recent ODI games v Zimbo and I don’t watch ipl so don’t know how he did. He’s played one game for Sussex and seemed ok.

Hit the bails?

>Pink for Jane
>Red for Ruth
>Blue for Bob
Wonder how many more of these we’ll see.

Brydon Carse is not an elite cricketersman
Jamie Smith, otherthansohowever, is

mad how there was a time when we didnt have JS on the wickie
imagine YJB about now lmao

York has changed

>>149721901
Green for (Cameron) Green
White for (Cameron) White

kek is zachy hallucinating this whole flat situation? is it like a lynch film or something where he's just moved out of his bedsit on some wild yohimbine trip thinking his mum has got him a new place?

bros i think smith is the real deal

>>149721910
they gave him some award yday

>>149721910
Fat redhead prick cost you the Ashes last time (unironically)
Big fat loser
That selection should have been the end of peewee verm McCullum

Might cuck the 80yo neighbour tomorrow by fucking his 76yo wife
She's been making eyes at me for a while

A mate of mine lived in student halls for years because he kept deferring his graduation, it’s probably a similar situation here

>>149721935
based Martin Bryant

>>149721926
frfr i enjoyed his 350 vs nz or whatever it was with stokes as much as everyone else
didn't stop him being utterly hopeless 9/10 like a negative contribution to the team

>>149721910
Bairstow is a much better batsman though lol

What ethnicity is Nasser Hussain?

>>149721951
Genuinely retarded post
Can't believe you cobbled together the brain cells to post this

/cric/ island must be the most overrated meme ever produced by this place
about as funny as poztralian stand up comics

>>149721956
mixed race, English and whatever brand of Indian. Like Mark Butcher he has paled as he aged, and along with their voices they just look like any boomer here who lives in Spain.

>>149721951
LOL
least blind ginger fetished

don't think anyone rated it (or rates any of micksperg's "memes")
they are ignored as they should be

cheeky 400 here i reckon lads

Sick of ball changing nonsense
Ruining the game

>>149721987
craptucular Duke's ball innit

That's a very funny meltdown. It's like when my toddler decides to pour water all over himself and then cries. You've done this to yourself

>>149721973
Nas is half Indian but Butcher is half black (hence his musical talent)

>>149721997
Hang on I just saw this comment on Reddit.

>>149722007
...silence i keeel you mowahahaha

>>149722000
yeah both mixed race hence the comparison.
Ryan Giggs' dad also paled massively.

...yh Gill got a bit too greedy with ball changing

>>149721967
I get it. you fear him because he made that elite hundred in your back yard

Hello Muddah
Hello Fadduh
Here I am at, Camp Granada.

Bard AI was simply too powerful. They had to shut it down

>>149722022
chOooooOoon

Estate agent has handed me a bunch of keys
No idea what even half of them do

>>149722021
Was that in the series that England lost 5-0 or 4-0 (twice)? Id est, it could not have mattered less.
He is a pathetic cricketer and human being
Worthless fat mong who has done nothing for anyone

Thinking of taking my work back underground. To stop it falling into the wrong hands

Marge! Is Lisa at Camp Granada?

I also learned recently that middling actor Stephen Graham is in fact mixed race. Somehow he just came out like Ryan Giggs while his brothers all look like they play right back for the English football team. Graham plays white-passing roles, apart from that time he played a wop gangster obviously.

>>149722007
It's so funny how heated it gets on live reddit cric threads
I've even seen accounts drop jeet several times

I must have looked well hungry he is handed me so many keys corrrr

why is brydon arse coming down the pitch to jadeja

I suppose this is it then
I am now a property owner

>>149722071
congrats, fella

Emilia Clarke from game of thrones is part jeet. I’m beginning to think /pol/ doesn’t understand genetics

more like Brylcreem Arse.

Do not check the PARSIQ price

>>149722079
is she really.
Well her most famous role is with blonde hair so people probably think she is the Aryan ideal.

>>149722090
how is it still managing to go down?

>>149722079
jeet cope
you will never be white

Been handed a bunch of keys no idea what 90% of them do
it's like that Simpsons episode
Keys to the city or something

>>149722090
lmfao
was there ever an update on that parsiq graph with zachy's face in the background

>>149722071
based zachy's mum

Your landlord should know which is which, so ask him

>>149722079
Another one who isn't actually attractive at all but NPCs all over treat as some sort of goddess because Hollywood told them to (see also: Sydney Sweeney)

>>149722127
It was a joint effort
Somebody had to go up north and work

yeah the GOT lass has a jeet grandparent I think - so 1/4 jeet. think Olivia Coleman (from Peep Show and The Office, don't care for hollywood sloppa) might be the same

when is the housewarming party zb¿

>>149722133
She looked good in season 1 when she was 24
but then she almost died and aged rapidly
Way better natural looking than Sydney

business idea: give Jamie the "smudge" nickname while Steve is renamed "smidge" in reference to their height differences (6'2 vs 5'7).

>>149722169
Definitely better than Sydney but still nothing special
Wouldn't turn your head if you passed her in the street

>>149722156
no sober neeks allowed sorry

gonna take a shit, expecting india to be batting by the time i get back

stokes would turn my head if I saw him in the street I'd go "who is that tattooed spastic"

>>149722191
tabla x

>>149722042
wow you really are seething
was it the 'see ya smudge' thing?

>>149722130
Enjoy mate

the calm before the bum(rah)ing

This series is going to be called the Ball Farce

>>149722017
He is an actual moron, it's completely nullified the India attack

>yet another ball change
Embarrassing

?

god I feel so good
I might finally climb v2 in Sheffield

gonna take a shit, expecting india to be batting by the time I look in the bowl

>>149722225
..yh ikr
>boomboom taking wicket every over isn't enough

Sebbo and Homealone should become friends, seeing as how they're both amoral landlords who have grown rich and labour off the toil of the working man

just came back from a shit and feel really good

>>149722298
landlording is just my sidegig.fella...but ...yh

>>149722298
who the fk is sebbo
also im not amoral

It might be a 1 bedroom flat
But the tarq furniture I have coming
You wouldn't believe

>>149722317
hi :))

FUCK OFF

IKEA had to source flatbed trucks from Sweden I hear

https://youtu.be/2tzrJPQD71s?si=YFAcBrnYnwe6qEdd

What's the verdict?

how do I unsubscribe from this dreary property blog?
>just picked up some keys
>just saw a cobweb in the corner
>just ran the taps
fuck off you offensively dull toothpick armed neek

>>149722371
He's got no mates whatsoever. Nobody to unload details of his private life onto.

>jersey beatiing scotlel
kek

>>149722384
it's so bad i started a campaign a few years ago on /brit/ to get people to stop blogging
it had mild success but i dont have the energy to keep up with it
mad how many people have literally no one to talk to but anonymous strangers on the internet

>zachster celebrating becoming an adult and wants to share his joy with di lads on /cric/
>gets constant shit for it
tired of this shithole trying to keep the black man down

>>149722133
sydney sweeney's ass is better than her tits

>>149722371
you will be able to unsubscribe when you are finally able to do 7 bodyweight pull-ups
I hope that is more than motivation

be free to get bummed by whoever I want here
no more shared bathroom for cleanup
a new beginning

>>149722197
>no wickets
pathetic. shit was good. threw in a shower to clean up even more before bed in a few hours.
>>149722371
use the filters. would have to come up with some creative ones though.

Why don't India just bring the chucker back into the attack?

>tired of this shithole trying to keep the black man down
so true camarthen brother, so true

>>149722430
if he throws too much he might get tommy john injury

Still seething about paying rent I see. That’s why I stick to freeholds, then you actually own the properly

>Messi now been in the US two years or so
>still refuses to learn English for a Walkers advert set in a British pub

>>149722454
he's in miami. there's probably more spanish speakers than english.

Also if I'm in a pub and I somehow want a snack, Walkers is very far down the list.

reckon three (3) quick wickets should do nicely here ngl

of course it's a long list you fat fuck

>>149722485
Did the inclusion of "somehow" not imply I don't normally snack anyway???

I don't snack because it takes away from the experience of preparing and enjoying a proper meal

/cric/ gets a lot angrier during games, and it isn't even the ashes with all the seethey pozzies

>>149722522
soime soime
also messes with my IF tbqh

Not one for the front cover of Vogue is Jamie Smith I reckon

>>149722436
It's spelt "Carmarthen" you fake Welsh cunt, if you weren't larping you'd know that

What happened to A. Deep?

>>149722535
sign of the times innit
#concerning

>>149722542
He just needs to learn how to smile.

>>149722547
Earth Deep this test fella eyequeem

really strong smell of poo in this thread

>Needs to learn how to smile
surely you just either naturally look good smiling or you don't

>>149722595
>>149721536

England have been allowed to creep to a competitive score

>>149722596
just reminded me of when gordon brown tried to smile because his handlers were obviously telling him to
horrific stuff

Out: Carse haters
In: Carse lickers

What's for lunch at Lords?

Lord's

Mad to think the last effective prime minister was probably Blair before 9/11. So 25 years of mediocrity. No wonder gdp per capita has plummeted in that time

think a cheeky deccy is coming fellas

It's the same all across western Europe
Just a europe thing really

Joffra Archer is a VBN (very black nigger)

Smith has scored 407 runs this series.

On the list of most runs by a keeper in a 5 test series:

Denis Lindsay - 606 runs v. Australia - 1966/67
Budhi Kundaran - 525 runs v. England - 1963/64
Bradley Haddin - 493 v. England - 2013/14
Frank Alexander - 484 v. Australia - 1960/61
Alec Stewart - 465 v. South Africa - 1998
Clyde Walcott - 452 v. India - 1948/49
Farokh Engineer - 415 v. England - 1972/73
William Wade - 407 v. England - 1948/49

anmther bazball record inc

>>149722797
This isn't Bazball though
The Indians were sledging to that effect yesterday

>>149722778
We dont use that word here mate

Joffnig Archger

>>149722797
should bat above stokes but the ginge's ego would never allow it

Would the man on the Clapham Omnibus consider Joffra Archer to be "English"?

this red for ruth sections pretty grim huh

No discrimination outside of /pol/ please lads.
We are a group of lads who regard every race as having equal value

fuck me, how dreary
put some cricket highlights on instead yeah?

lunch discussion topic: best summer fruit?
I'm thinking peach

The man on the Clapham omnibus would almost certainly be either a recent immigrant or the child of immigrants himself. More likely to identify as British than English

>>149722989
mango is THE best fruit

>>149722989
golden kiwi

Does "English/England" still exist as a concept? Or is everyone just "British" or "in/from the UK"?

>>149722989
mango tbqh
Alphonso or kesari

>>149722989
mango

it's up

>>149722989
Pineapple (cooked)

>>149723074
corrpeng

>>149721956
England are only good at cricket under foreign rule (Nas, Eoin, Fletch)

>>149723074
butternut squash soup, paneer tikka, basmati rice, carrots/beans/broccoli, and fruit salad, bossman.x

>Scotland have lost to Jersey in the T20 World Cup qualifier and will not be at WC2026
LMAO

>>149723074
would eat almost all of that
bit basic but none the less good menu

>>149723074
pea and mint tortellini sounds cool
speaking of which, someone bake

>>149722581
>Akash means sky
ha nice one, fella

>>149722989
any stone fruit (including mangoes), any berries. For me right now this summer it has to be cherries

>>149723170
agreed. was a tough one but wanted paneer

>>149723074
Soup, railway curry, rice, yoghurt

>>149723074
the fuck is a "cod loin"

>>149723247
cod can get quite big so you wouldn’t necessarily eat a whole one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7ITkhv8DR0&list=RDc7ITkhv8DR0&start_radio=1

Just shat my pants
Need to move down to XL butt plugs -- XXL may be too much

>>149723074
Miso cod with the new potatoes thanks.

>>149723275
'risp /alf/ enjoyer

>>149723258
I liked smoked cod, Whack it in the rice cooker in coconut cream.

>>149723273
you’re gonna love this

our new cricket overlords

>>149723302
In Dublin you can try smoked cod battered and deep fried with chips (smoked cod and chips), goes good with a club orange

corr 30c on my wall thermometer

>>149723323
>won the soccer wc
>qualified for BOTH rugby was
>qualified for cricket wc
unequivocally a based sporting nation

>mongs still batting
Switching over to the tennis

It's so over

wait.on...thought Archer was a lhb

Very

>cripple batting 9th not 11th
why

>>149723330
temperate spring day innit

355 isn't enough

Niggardly shot from Archer there

heard archer had a niggle in his back

Archer absolutely niggered that ball through the covers

>>149723432
keKkkkk queem QUEEM

JOFFRA ARCHER IS A BLACK NIGGER

bumrah's a chucker

I think I said this last time but encouraging people to wear red to the cricket is exceedingly fucking stupid

Siraj had a chronic condition -- it is VERY SAD -- wherebyit he cannot handle the banter
PAEDOPHILE WORSHIPPING PIG-DOG CUNT

thought there was a nigg there? surprised india didn't appeal

Jofra Archer playing rather niggardly here

>>149723541
better than encouraging them to wear red to the bullfighting!! haha

That’s it, I’m heading to the pub for a Campari and tonic

>>149723585
you put octopus in a drink?

Right off the nigg of the bat

>>149723582
imagine

just pretend I've written something really racist here.

did zb post his celebratory pizza and keys post from the new digs¿

why is joffra playing on the blackfoot? he should play some shots

I've been to Lord's and stood next to the pitch during a Middx game and gone into the Member's pavilion because a good (tarq) mate was a member
It was pretty kino I won't lie
BUT
I still preferred:
>The Oval
>Chelmsford
>Taunton
Old Trafford and Headingley are overrated shit-holes

GOTTEM

Bummy five four

They had to do an MRI on Joffra's elbow and they found a massive black spot

>>149723643
†he should be creaming the dukes

need an asterix on the honours board

>>149723673
spudshed @innaloo
10 minutes, champ

>Nigger replaced by a Paki
The "English" cricket team is truly a microcosm of the last four decades of English history

BLACK TO THE PAVILION

can people piss in my general direction
all shite today

Looks like rain lads

can you imagine in any other sport if a player got a minor injury so they just stopped the game and everyone just stood around so some cunt could get a massage on the field

>>149723685
There was a paki in the team back in Grace's day.

>>149723728
Tennis.

>>149723685
You’re not very well educated

Cannot believe how absolutely massive Bashir's nose is. Immense.

>>149723748
Yeah but I'd kick your teeth down your throat mick filth
Why don't you go piss your pants listening to some Black and Tans or some repulican dream nonsense

no run there paki

me¿ Julian Bashir is best Bashir

>>149723730
Ranjishitkin or whatever his name was

>>149723728
its retarded
why would you break up momentum like that

>>149723762
The dog that will attack you doesn’t bark first and a lion fears not 500 mice

>>149723756
Oy Vey

>>149723772
Missing an 's' in there.

DROPPED THE ROOT-BUMRAH

Can this cunt just get this over with

>>149723778
Alright Seamus Heaney put a fucking sock in it
That sort of nonsense is purely for poofs

now we bazzing

51 for Brylcreem Arse.

DROPPED THE TOILET-PAPER TROPHY

>>149723074
>vegetarians forced to have double butternut squash

Pretty poor planning desu, I am disappoint

>>149723802
kekkk

More of a Michael Longley man myself

Mohammed Siraj is the sort of Uber driver to change his name to Mohd.

>>149723829
>>149723829
>>149723829
>>149723829

>>149723811
lucky they're not eating cold sandwiches

This is a brainless game of cricketingnessosity.

It’s vegans who can’t have paneer

Can’t be bothered to wait for the last to fall
>>149723843
>>149723843
>>149723843

>>149723849
Spastic