kwab
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India tour of England, 3rd Test @ Lord's
scorecard at the end of day 1:
ENGLAND 251/4.
JE Root 99* (191)
KNK Reddy 14/0/46/2
>>149716105>we're all tradies, a big bunch of tough strong men oooookek don't make me laugh, you pozzies love to pretend you're all hard nuts but the reality is you're all poofters from Fitzroy drinking soi lattes
>>149716151anyone know which country currently holds the ashes
>>149716151working in trades is a 100% preventative cure to early-onset bouldering and blogposting
soulless micksperg bot reply
should declare before he gets his hundred so he doesn't risk taking away lara's 400*
>33 runs away from immortality
>nah
lmao do saffers really
lara still has an unmatchable FC score anyway
So basically
My mum is a millionaire
But it's going to take a whole weekend to clear this place out
I wouldn't be surprised if my family was richer than Zachys
Doesn't define me though
30k north Koreans sent to the front line
Dnipropetrovsk being free of globohomos
Priceless
YFI_bird
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>>149716487theres always a bigger fish
South Korea is an occupied state
China one day will take back the whole of the pacific
Japan will be finished before they even finish sucking up the yanks who nuked them
China's revenge on Japan is going to be a sight to behold
They say revenge is a dish best serve cold
And that's definitely how it's going to go it's down
As far China>>>Japan is concerned
>>149716645I used to think NK was controlled by China and used to test populace control techniques before implementing on a much larger Chinese population
The Japanese will get nuked by the yanks and suck up to them afterwards
The Chinese will build tech that enables them to invade Japan
I have had some wild dreams lately
The thing is
The world can't contain my genius
Still 16c here lads I’ve got all the windows open and burning sandalwood to keep out the midgies (mosquitoes, don’t ask don’t know)
>>149716821you should really have the windows closed and heater on mate, you'll freeze to death
>>149716673It’s much worse, BK is controlled by Marxist-Nazis
>>149716848I just got out of the shower and I’m on the lazy boy by the window with only a towel between the universe and my modesty
>>149716848>heaterI hope you meant open fireplace
burning sandalwood incense by the open window keeps the mozzies out anyway so that’s a useful summer tip
prefer burning birkenstocks me
IMG_0114
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Had to break out the big guns to beat these sweltering nighttime conditions
>>149717262https://www.instagram.com/reel/DHQdr2DKKVg/
>>149717269nice one mate, sent it on to the missus she’ll laugh tomorrow
England are winning right now
Remember Cooper Connolly?
>>149718513I still think he's quality (one of the best coming through)
I am blind
And you are ugly
It's so easy to want you
I want you, I want you, I want you
feeling around
(Love will be revealed) walking really slow
(Watching from the side) I wanna know you, baby
(Tell me how it feels) love will be revealed
>>149718891isn't his son coming through the system at the moment?
Something fishy about a black coach telling a white batsman playing a black team not to break a black batsman’s record iykwim haha
bet bavuka would have been allowed to break the record if you catch my drift
Can't wait to get rid of certain coffee table
Most of the work is already done
I hope the Indians beat England. It would be good for England.
you just cant be a hoarder
>>149718919kids of professional sportsmen barely ever make it
they aren't having kids with maria Sharapova, they are having kids with gold diggers
Bazball, more like Spazball iykwim haha
The offspring of professional sportsmen basically never make it
>>149719177we went through this a few threads ago champ
They aren't having offspring with Martina Navratilova
There isn't really a single case in history of an elite sportsman producing an elite sportsman child
>>149719201I bet you'd find they make it at a far higher rate than the average joe
>>149719217Peter and Shaun Pollock
Geoff Marsh and sons
Chris and Stuart Broad
Ian Healey
Lance and Chris Cairns
John, Brenda and Doug Bracewell
Do you need me to do all sports?
>>149719248literally none of these is a case of an elite sportsman producing an elite sportsman child
>>149719262just wait till alyssa and starc pump out a 7 foot wicket keeper
Its partly lesbianism that is an explanation
To be good at sport you need a lesbian mum basically
But also, there is no drive if your dad is already a millionaire sportsman
children of good sportsmen don't exist because they don't have children
this is approximately the truth
elite sportsmen offspring of sportsmen don't exist because they don't have children
this is approximately the truth
elite sportsmen offspring of sportswomen don't exist because they don't have children
this is approximately the truth
6880 (1)
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Can't wait to get my keys to the pad
Might eat my keys
>wake up
>zachy still rambling about keys
>>149719386can't wait to get my keys
(Might eat them)
do people moving into a new place usually stay up all night drunkenly rambling to themselves?
My God Mason and Dixon is a heavy book
Basically split my cardboard box
I need to remember
I have all weekend to clear this place out
*5mg of creatine straight down the gullet*
You know you're meant to cycle off that stuff right?
complete meme
creatine exists in basically all animal protein
I think we are getting there
I will feel way better once I take that coffee table to the skip
Out with the old, in with the new
Going to grind hard today
My boss will be proud
Really not sure I gave enough clothes to Oxfam
I suppose this situation is workable
don't think I'd wear maharishi even if I was homeless
546M
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zachy having one of his episodes again?
>>149719726Yeah hes a bit OED at times
time for a power nap me thinks
just need to get my keys and eat them
after that point, everything is workable
please don't be mean to zachy, he's a homeowner now.
Oi Zachy why don't you invite the /cric/ lads to a party in your new home
imagine this: we all go to zachy's new place to watch the criccy
>>149716613kek good one this
>>149719902ill bring the goon (boxed wine (im NOT one of those FREAKS!))
do you think zachys flat could even fit all 4 of us?
>>149720055Might need to tell mumza to buy a second sofa
Boxing day test /cric/ get-together at Zachy's
just as long as I don't have to go bouldering later
bouldering is optional but bumdering is mandatory
If you've got fags I'll smoke them with ya
me enjoying the boxing day festivities at zachy's place
>>149719390not him but yes
>2025
>still reading mid-century American pomp slop
>2025
>still living in england
>>149720140don't think zachy will allow peewees, sorry mate
>>149720196it says no peeweeS, we're allowed to have one.
Finally chucked that coffee table
Feeling like a new man
off to The Hague in a couple of hours to see if we can beat Italy and go to the world cup
Did you keep the rug at least?
you can use that coat you got as a bin liner for all this rubbish mate haha
cant believe bazball is over bros
godo while it lasted
unbearable stench of mong in this thread
starting to prefer non-game threads since theres less blowies
I feel like /cric/ is only good during the ashes
giving this album a second spin
think there might be a bit in those memes about zachy knowing /mu/ but not /fa/ and /tv/ tbg
>>149720282yeah or the £300 bin bag as it were haha
The boundary rope is a failed experiment
Good fun while it lasted, I guess? NOPE!
we're a Twin Fantasy (2011) general
you guys ever tried butyl nitrite?
>>149720384good album
Cameron Winter- Heavy Metal is on par though
and he's not even an industry plant....
sometimes i run around my house pretending to do bumrahs run up
Why can't they start at 10
Such a languid sport, thank fuck test won't exist in 20 years
sometimes I run around around my bedsit pretending to be a prime Mohammad Asif
>Cameron Winter- Heavy Metal
Skipped through this for 2mins.
Not a single track had interesting sonics, and really the mixing was pretty subpar despite the perceived volume.
Another one of those albums where all the "soul" is in the composition, but the sonic choices are all dog shit and the mixdowns are uninspiring.
The Danish Kaneria Googly
don't think there's been any great albums for ages
music isn't in as bad shape as cinema but is still quite bad now
>>149720426it's a grower
it's basically a good version of nick cave (you're only good musician btw oh nononono)
>>149720440cameron winter heavy metal is unironically a good album
true about cinema that's why I'm not renewing my picturehouse membership
In foss island B & M anyone want owt
Honestly don't disagree. The music industry is more saturated than ever and theres a LOT of trash out there.
Rap, despite being #1 genre in the world, is in the gutter at the moment.
Hyperpop and other adjacent zoomer genres were refreshing 5 years ago but the sound already feels a bit dated and I'm not seeing as much innovation there as I was previously.
Botanica has also been refreshing more recently, but isn't really that groundbreaking.
Thank God that jazz is always dependable
Dunno why I'm so angry today.
I'd say I'm angry around 65% of the time
>"Now that things have settled a little bit, I've chatted a little bit to Brian Lara," Mulder told SuperSport. "He said to me I'm creating my own legacy and I should have gone for it. He said records are there to be broken and he wishes if I'm ever in that position again, I actually go and score more than what he had."
>"That was an interesting point of view from his side, but I still believe I did the right thing and respecting the game is the most important part for me."
a life of regret
Bouldering isn't even crossing my mind
spaccy "not really into cricket anymore" borewen
Timesplitters 2
Now there was a game
Good win for the Pears last night, great recovery from 10-4 (thoughbeit against bottom of the league)
Pears vs Bears grudge match at New Road tonight, I'm semi-erect with anticipation
When is the estate agent going to let me know what time to pick my keys up
Really hungry
should just merge Birmingham and Worcs into one team desu
it's basically the same thing and would make for a more competitive league
>still hasn't cracked 50k @ 40
MONG
>>149716138 (OP)DO NOT REDEEM THE LIKES SAAR
why don't you just give the estate agent a call and get an update? not afraid are you KEK?
>>149720587mumza usually handles important calls for him
you're not always a 'great' just because you play 100 tests. even Ishant Sharma got there kek
Starc is more of an elite ODI bowler and a 'good' test bowler. nobody's going to remember his test career once he's done
doing some rather wet farts as I walk up lord mayors walk right now
I blame the creatine
>>149720602He probably the only aussie pace bowler to pass the eye test since Mitchell Johnson
Definitely the Aussie bowler I'd least want to face out of our current big 3 (at their peaks)
>>149720565people are retarded and are still packing on the last day, sometimes you won't get the keys until the evening
>>149720633fucks up your kidneys mate
you need to quite that shite asap trust me
Lads I’ve started working on /cric/ welcome to country should be ready tomorrow or the day after if not earlier
the aus poster who was going to debut the gimmick about his bum didn't deliver. sad
>>149720641did you move to Ireland because you're not welcome in Australia until you perform that ritual?
Jonny Bairstow: Test match great
York is just an onslaught of traffic
As I am picking up my Yorkshire citizenship today expect me to get a lot more critical about York in general
The grass is always greener on the other side and let me tell you it ain't green here
>>149720281/cric/ was grim during last ashes
so much seething and sebbospam
zachy seethes at bairstow because no matter how hard he larps he can never become a genuine yorkie himself
>>149720646I come to Ireland for the weather
>>149720569Birmingham and south/rural Worcestershire couldn't be more spiritually different desu
I will concede that north Worcestershire shitholes like Redditch and the minster of Kiddies are just pseudo Birmingham shitholes thoughever
I'd advocate selling them to Birmingham and then using the proceeds to buy areas of rural Herefordshire, Gloucestershire, and Shropshire, and creating and independent West England ethnostate
>>149720648They force the dogwalkers to pick up the shit but never collect the piss
breathing a lot easier now that coffee table has been taken to the skip
think there is a reason I didn't go bouldering today or yesterday
this has been a workout in itself
If Yorkshire was an independent country, it would be the poorest country in Europe, below even the likes of Moldova or Albania. Like many of the UK regions, it’s completely subsidised by the London tax base
you're not chucking out the famous amazon gaming chair are you zachy la? it's an icon of /cric/
Imagine a grand republic of Scotland, Ireland, Yorkshire, Wales, Cornwall, and Cumbria, and the enclave of Scousonia. An independent England is the only way forward
>>149720722They create nothing of value in Yorkshire unfortunately, except maybe Yorkshire Tea (unironic king of the teabags)
The West of England ethnostate could develop Dubai/Saudi-tier riches by dominating the world market for cider
Pretty hyped for the posthumous John Burnside collection, not gonna lie
Thinking about what else I can chuck in the bin
>>149720726Might keep it
Worth a lot of money now
Pondered many Danish kaneria Googly on it
I think I have chucked everything in the bin that is Chuckable
will have to buy a lot of new clothes then I guess haha
you fashun bruh
you rocking those new balance bruh
Zoomers don’t like dry or cloudy cider. They only drink that sweet Swedish rubbish, your Kopperbergs, your Rekorderligs
>>149720664I am literally a yorkshireman from today onwards
Basically etched into the magna carta
>>149720739implying this would be allowed
Cameron Winter- Heavy Metal sounds immediately good, and you naturally are sceptical. But it doesn't lie, doesn't deceive, it really is just that good.
OH MY DAYS
WARWICKSHIRE BEARS COMPLETELY AND IRREVOCABLY BTFO
excessively large breasts are not attractive
>>149720910reckon shane had a crack in the day
why else would one go to thailand?
>>149720925played out
Mizuno Wave riders are better
>>149720926based Trent bout
How is Perth steamworks and the IPL mate?
there is something quite dare I say it Kafkaesque about buying a property in the UK
You think you are over the line but you never quite are
It's like there is 5 confirmations of exchanging ahead of the actual exchange
Quite baffling
can't quite wrap my massive head and brain around it
what's Kafkaesque about not knowing when you're over the line?
not convinced you know what Kafkaesque means
>>149720219gl mate. filthy wogs don't belong in cricket.
Fuck me Strauss looks silly.
Mong Strauss still ripping off mong punters for his dead mong wife. The eternal mongs
>>149721027this but mcgrath
you're a fraud mate. never done anything natty
>bankrolled unearned cash for creatine for chins
>bankrolled unearned cash for property and investments
>bankrolled unearned cash for dating app boosts / premium subscriptions
>bankrolled unearned cash for doggy PEDs for bouldering
wow it must have been so hard working every day of your life to have rich parents and grandparents
>>149721012I've been over the line literally 5 times by now
But I think, finally, I am there now
But who knows
This country is so intensely legal
Orwell wasn't wrong
>>149721041creatine hasn't actually made me any better at weighted chin-ups desu
The Welsh have natural creatine anyway
there is titanium hold-up at +55kg
I could break it if I were to bulk then cut
But not sure I can be arsed
You are just constantly confirming the future confirmation will go ahead
Pretty much sums up buying a property in the UK
Letting off fireworks in the bright sunshine
77
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Swear the worst thing you could be is a cricketer's wife. If you die they'll start a foundation in your name and monetise your untimely demise.
>never done anything natty
rented for four years in a strange city
how about that
switching over to the cricket to see poot's century then switching back to the footy
>>149721112yep I'd only marry a footballer or rugbyer.
>>149720910corrpengarse
would googly with gusto eyequeem haaa
Why did Strauss just copy Glen McGrath? Doesn't his dead slag of a wife deserve something original?
>>149721124>switching back to the footySouth Afrtca vs. Angola U20s?
>>149721153they call rugby league "footy" there just like the league fans in northern England here do.
>>149721148Seen no evidence that Strauss cheated on his dying, cancer-ridden wife and created a foundation to make himself feel better about it
remember when people thought kohli was in the big 4 lol
>>149721041done him here. offstump's gone for a spin
Jerusalem always gets me a little bit emotional. Should be the national anthem I think.
>>149721167Zachy isn't simply a person, he's a concept
I will keep rolling down until my best shirt rolls off
Until the conga line behind me is a thousand chickens long
MCGRATH: "What does Lara's dick taste like?"
CANCER: "Don't know I'm in your wife's tits"
not sure a flat / bedsit is enough to contain the welsh dragon
should have got a 2 bed house or something
bit neeky having a flat in york isn't it? more of a london thing where prices force you to never own a home
>>149721148>mong>not a crippling narcissistInstead of being a forgotton nobodies these two mong cunts hijack two of cricketing days each year make it all about them
if they bazzed this they'd have 550 runs right now but the crusty old boomers don't like scoring runs for some reason
>>149721195bazball should be a second innings policy
Why does Siraj wear sun cream? He seems plenty dark enough to not get burned
>>149720910bet she does smelly farts
if a captain has tattoos i just dont see him as a leader
found appropriate image res
>>149721190houses are more to take on board
1 bedroom flat is fine for a first buy
I don't really need two bedrooms
Any mates who sleep here can just sleep on a futon (and NOT on my 600 quid sofa that is arriving, as they will probably dribble and fart on it)
tattoos are for ultrabrainlets (btw this is why nobody believes bard's tattooed sister is also some sort of UC genius). the more ink the smoother the brain
>>149721225think it also reflects heat and can be cooling
3 is perfect really, master bedroom with ensuite, spare bedroom for rellies and a third for your wfh office
Mong poot should retire or be jimmy'd before he hijacks the test runs/centuries record. Someone who looks like a terminally ill child and such ugly batting technique should not hold any records.
He finds anyone with a tattoo too intimidating to slag off to their face
So he does it on 4chan.org on Anon to maintain plausible deniability that he posted it
GOTTEM GONE PISS OFF YOURE OUT
David Foster Wallace monologue on tattoos is good desu
No idea why one would wear jewelry they can never take off
t. smooth brained mong who got a tattoo of his ex when drunk
>>149721233agreed. poohli started this regrettable trend in the Indian team
kek i already have this webm'd
>>149721275oh dear, whereabouts did you get it + what was his name?
>commentator goes on about stokes not having scored a century, and loves the ground and it lifts players
>gets bowled next ball
fucking KEK
>keeping low after 1.0001 days
grim areas
>>149721237OMG this is so funny
When am I picking up my keys lads
Have I been ghosted
our batting starts with Smith. the others are free wickets.
>le ball stays le low
swear stokes says this every time he's bowled
probably watched too much sachin tenbottler
>>149721289Lower back
Tyrone
>clapping a guy who was out on 44retards.
>>149721285 I'm seeing double, four dismissals.
NOOOOO YOU DIDN'T MAKE THIS DEAD LIFELESS ROAD LIFELESS ENOUGH
t. Mong Stokes
If I was Stokes, I’d retire now instead of after the inevitable 4-0 loss down under.
everyone wants a lively pitch until they're bowled by one that keeps low
>>149721311He missed it by a mile lol.
>>149721317zoomer cricket is like that. a quick 50 > a normal century
bumrash saw my low res pic of pookes and was inspired to bowl him out
not only did zachy buy a flat he also bought a 1 bed lmao
had enough
going to ring up the estate agents because I am not scared and they are annoying me
he didn't buy it
mumsy did
>>149721350yeah
but in an extremely soulful area
why do I need a house
just got one of those posh sounding neeky mongs trying to hurry up a purchase lads
told him his mummy will have to get in touch because it's in her name lol
Yeah I'll just buy some house in Thirsk
A big neek mansion
DROPPED THE PATEL(Samit)-PATEL(Munaf)
Wow Siraj trying to murder an innocent ladybug
That's the 2nd best slips field in the entire nation of India.
oh ffs
>>149721148Strauss married a pure Aussie Shelia who he met whilst as a door to door cricket bat salesman whilst playing grade cricket. Meanwhile McGrath married some West Country air hostess.
if we can get Smith to curate a "walker" reputation and yell at opposing batsmen for not walking, he can become the next Gilchrist.
Reckon I’ll sneak a ‘miscellaneous administration charges’ onto this neeks final bill and see if he’s got the guts to challenge. Probably will be too excited that he’s finally secured the leasehold and won’t want to lose face in front of his mum
>Score a century then get bored
Yep seen this one before
POOT POOT POOT POOT POOT
POOT POOT POOT POOT
POOT POOT POOT POOT POOT
>poot
>poot
>poot
POOT POOT POOT
POOT POOT
P O O T
O
O
T
we'll see some bindian flags in here soon now (screencap this)
Seriously
When are they handing over the keys
This is ridiculous
>>149721385Big Bad Samit even now would be better than Bashit
Reckon they've swindled Zachy and there never really was a property for sale
They’ve just decided the play shit this morning. Really needed about 400 on, now it will be lucky to get to 300.
Might go down to the park and watch my local team play instead of another England poolapse
just scammed some retard out of his mummy's money by "selling" a flat belonging to a bloke currently abroad.
Third umpire so excited to see a spike on snicko lmao
its stokesverr
its joever
its woakesver
You could even seen the ball deviated on that replay.
That was similar to my one on Saturday desu
Fielding side were convinced they heard something and incredulous that I didn't walk, but I simply didn't feel anything on the bat
Maybe there was a little feather, maybe not
Business Idea:
Don't lose 3 wickets in 3 overs
GONE HE'S GOTTEN A HAT TRICK ON HIS TOILET UNVEILING DAY
>>149721462reckon par is 320
didn't walk because you're a dirty brum-irish cheat
it was all genetics
>>149721456I highly doubt it
If chuckrah gets a hattie that saffer should have gone for 600 runs.
Monglapse
>>149721462Dire turgid pitch at the request of captain mong but 300 is likely plenty if you get early wickets before the Dukes ball softens, especially given India's tail
Scotland can only manage a measly 133 against Jersey with world cup qualification on the line. They don't deserve to make it.
>>149721486NOT YET HE HASN'T, THE PLUMBER HASN'T CONNECTED THE PIPE TO THE SEWERAGE MAINS
Simply just not going to accept any wickets from the chucker
As far as I'm concerned England are sat comfortably on 271-3
>>149721499Nah this lots will need 400 to get a comfortable first innings lead, but it ain’t happening and 300 looks an ask.
>>149721517the gun@canary wharf, donedone
5 minutes, champ
knows his judo well this one
>>149721517this is quite true
what is the charge? a succulent play on dismissal?
mad how when the sandpaper scandal occurred it was a genuine upheaval for the sport but we literally have evidence of bumrash chucking the ball and nobody says anything because they're scared of the BCCI
>constantly complains about bowling attack
>never complains about batter
wokey b
gentlemen this is wicketkeeping-batsmanning manifest
>>149721552yeah but it's okay because he chucks it slightly differently to how you normally chuck, and even though it's still a chuck and lets him bowl fast off a slow bowler run-up, and then chuck it even harder when he wants an effort ball, it's okay
carse always plays like a low iq cretin. why is he slogging when Smith is there?
tattoos by any chance?
Glenn McChucker was measured by biomechanists to have a greater elbow bend than Murali and the laws of cricket were fiddled to accomodate McChucker's chucking
>>149721577this is also quite true
Will Smith be able to save England yet again?
So they have told me I can now go pick up my keys
I am surprised there isn't another layer to this
Surely when I get there I will have to book an appointment with the key man
>>149721493Fortunately I am not polluted by any Birmingham genes
>>149721564this is probably kind of the logic but the thing is he's never even been tested
mad how much corruption the BCCI have poured in this (s)poort
my idea: open with Smith so he's not stranded on innings-saving scores again
Bumrah's action should not be legal
>root statpads his way to a hundred
>a good bowler comes on
>he gets out
hmm...
>>149721493even worse hasn’t he said its L*verpoo Irish
can safely say I'm a better bowler than Jasprit Bumrah
might not be a better chucker
but I'm a better bowler
kallis like shot that
driving good length balls for four
Mad how Woakes has averaged single figures for the past year
What went so horribly wrong
learned that Bradman holds the record score for #7 (270, higher than #6 which is Stoke's 258) only because in that particular test he decided to reverse the order so tailenders came in first, openers last etc.
Could he BE any more fraudulent?
>>149721652just shows how casual the sport was back then and how little notice we should pay to the statistics of the time
woakes genuinely looks about 80
anglos (Germans) age like milk
>>149721652Zachy was telling us about this time when the ball was hit into a tree and so they got 286 runs from 1 delivery
>>149721520Rahul fucked up dropping that catch, 5-10 more overs and the ball will be dead. India batting last and the pitch has taken spin on day 1
That #7 record ought to be held by a genuine wicketkeeper-batsman with a not-out score, but instead that wardodging fraud put it well out of reach. Gilchrist has 204* which is third.
>>149721686that's going to cause some damage to the ships haha
Bumrah wicket webm's where?
When did bowlers become so fucking precious about the hardness of the balls?
WHY DIDN'Y YOU REDEEM THE BLOODY NEW BALL TO THE ONE WE WANTED I FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING UMPIRE BLOODY BHENCHOD
>>149721652The record 721 runs in a day versus Essex at Southend came about because he picked the strongest Aussie XI to play a tour game versus one of the then weaker counties. He did similar in the first class games against counties in 1948.
Dropped Clarrie Grimmet, Keith Miller and Tiger O’Riley due to personal dislikes.
Stuart Broad is a fucking faggots. Not fit to tie Ponting's shoelaces.
>>149721737what a disgusting excuse for a "human" """being""".
>>149721744>t. David Warner
>>149721724Mongs asked for flat roads and soft Dukes to facilitate mongball©
Smith hits a cricket ball
not many people who knew bradman liked him
>>149721599Got to be worth trying that (dropping Crawley, obviously) and bringing Rew in to bat at 6 and be the specialist keepsman
Get rid of Bashir for Dawson too and we just might have a chance of beating Australia every once in a while, although the bowling attack is still pretty weak overall
Right I am off to pick up these keys (and probably not eat them)
Carpe Diem
Sieze the day
That's what my grandfather has always said
>>149721768Like the old gag about Van Morrison
>why don’t music writers like Van Morrison>because they’ve met him
GONE GOTTEN AND FUCKED OFF
do under-pressure bowlsmen feel the need to slog it in the off-chance people heap praise on their boundaries to cover up for their lack of wickets?
>>149721599Nah, they’ll leave where he is. Scores more runs for England at 7 then he does for Surrey further up the order.
Business idea: a series of cricket themed adventure novels in the style of Wilbur Smith
>>149721652I find it funny that not one of the times the order got reversed that the eventual #11 got to 100. There's only been four tons from #10 but the first guy did it in the 1880s seems to have been a batter who just happened to be at 10 because because everyone batted deep in those days, while the #10 from the 2nd one was a batter who went in at 10 because of the wicket. The other two were bowlers.
>>149721822oh that's what that means haha
did jaiswal just rip his shirt haha
How long do we give Nigger Archer in the game until he breaks down?
Will he make it to his first spell?
What happened to Rishabh's Pants?
Are the jeets not RED FOR RUTH?
Can't even remember where this estate agent exists
Imagine if got killed by some deano in a 4 x 4 on the way
I say a spell of 13 overs while the crowd sings Leadbelly’s classic ‘Pick a Bale of Cotton’
Listening to Stuart Broad is worse than listening to that peewee rat they tour around the world to commentate
>>149721853Don’t think anyone knows. He wasn’t very good in the Champions Trophy, couldn’t get through a spell, he didn’t play in the recent ODI games v Zimbo and I don’t watch ipl so don’t know how he did. He’s played one game for Sussex and seemed ok.
>Pink for Jane
>Red for Ruth
>Blue for Bob
Wonder how many more of these we’ll see.
Brydon Carse is not an elite cricketersman
Jamie Smith, otherthansohowever, is
mad how there was a time when we didnt have JS on the wickie
imagine YJB about now lmao
>>149721901Green for (Cameron) Green
White for (Cameron) White
kek is zachy hallucinating this whole flat situation? is it like a lynch film or something where he's just moved out of his bedsit on some wild yohimbine trip thinking his mum has got him a new place?
bros i think smith is the real deal
>>149721910they gave him some award yday
>>149721910Fat redhead prick cost you the Ashes last time (unironically)
Big fat loser
That selection should have been the end of peewee verm McCullum
Might cuck the 80yo neighbour tomorrow by fucking his 76yo wife
She's been making eyes at me for a while
A mate of mine lived in student halls for years because he kept deferring his graduation, it’s probably a similar situation here
>>149721935based Martin Bryant
>>149721926frfr i enjoyed his 350 vs nz or whatever it was with stokes as much as everyone else
didn't stop him being utterly hopeless 9/10 like a negative contribution to the team
>>149721910Bairstow is a much better batsman though lol
What ethnicity is Nasser Hussain?
>>149721951Genuinely retarded post
Can't believe you cobbled together the brain cells to post this
/cric/ island must be the most overrated meme ever produced by this place
about as funny as poztralian stand up comics
>>149721956mixed race, English and whatever brand of Indian. Like Mark Butcher he has paled as he aged, and along with their voices they just look like any boomer here who lives in Spain.
>>149721951LOL
least blind ginger fetished
don't think anyone rated it (or rates any of micksperg's "memes")
they are ignored as they should be
cheeky 400 here i reckon lads
Sick of ball changing nonsense
Ruining the game
>>149721987craptucular Duke's ball innit
That's a very funny meltdown. It's like when my toddler decides to pour water all over himself and then cries. You've done this to yourself
>>149721973Nas is half Indian but Butcher is half black (hence his musical talent)
>>149721997Hang on I just saw this comment on Reddit.
>>149722007...silence i keeel you mowahahaha
>>149722000yeah both mixed race hence the comparison.
Ryan Giggs' dad also paled massively.
...yh Gill got a bit too greedy with ball changing
>>149721967I get it. you fear him because he made that elite hundred in your back yard
Hello Muddah
Hello Fadduh
Here I am at, Camp Granada.
Bard AI was simply too powerful. They had to shut it down
Estate agent has handed me a bunch of keys
No idea what even half of them do
>>149722021Was that in the series that England lost 5-0 or 4-0 (twice)? Id est, it could not have mattered less.
He is a pathetic cricketer and human being
Worthless fat mong who has done nothing for anyone
Thinking of taking my work back underground. To stop it falling into the wrong hands
Marge! Is Lisa at Camp Granada?
I also learned recently that middling actor Stephen Graham is in fact mixed race. Somehow he just came out like Ryan Giggs while his brothers all look like they play right back for the English football team. Graham plays white-passing roles, apart from that time he played a wop gangster obviously.
>>149722007It's so funny how heated it gets on live reddit cric threads
I've even seen accounts drop jeet several times
I must have looked well hungry he is handed me so many keys corrrr
why is brydon arse coming down the pitch to jadeja
I suppose this is it then
I am now a property owner
>>149722071congrats, fella
Emilia Clarke from game of thrones is part jeet. I’m beginning to think /pol/ doesn’t understand genetics
more like Brylcreem Arse.
Do not check the PARSIQ price
>>149722079is she really.
Well her most famous role is with blonde hair so people probably think she is the Aryan ideal.
>>149722090how is it still managing to go down?
>>149722079jeet cope
you will never be white
Been handed a bunch of keys no idea what 90% of them do
it's like that Simpsons episode
Keys to the city or something
>>149722090lmfao
was there ever an update on that parsiq graph with zachy's face in the background
>>149722071based zachy's mum
Your landlord should know which is which, so ask him
>>149722079Another one who isn't actually attractive at all but NPCs all over treat as some sort of goddess because Hollywood told them to (see also: Sydney Sweeney)
>>149722127It was a joint effort
Somebody had to go up north and work
yeah the GOT lass has a jeet grandparent I think - so 1/4 jeet. think Olivia Coleman (from Peep Show and The Office, don't care for hollywood sloppa) might be the same
when is the housewarming party zb¿
>>149722133She looked good in season 1 when she was 24
but then she almost died and aged rapidly
Way better natural looking than Sydney
business idea: give Jamie the "smudge" nickname while Steve is renamed "smidge" in reference to their height differences (6'2 vs 5'7).
>>149722169Definitely better than Sydney but still nothing special
Wouldn't turn your head if you passed her in the street
>>149722156no sober neeks allowed sorry
gonna take a shit, expecting india to be batting by the time i get back
stokes would turn my head if I saw him in the street I'd go "who is that tattooed spastic"
>>149722042wow you really are seething
was it the 'see ya smudge' thing?
the calm before the bum(rah)ing
This series is going to be called the Ball Farce
>>149722017He is an actual moron, it's completely nullified the India attack
>yet another ball changeEmbarrassing
god I feel so good
I might finally climb v2 in Sheffield
gonna take a shit, expecting india to be batting by the time I look in the bowl
>>149722225..yh ikr
>boomboom taking wicket every over isn't enough
Sebbo and Homealone should become friends, seeing as how they're both amoral landlords who have grown rich and labour off the toil of the working man
just came back from a shit and feel really good
>>149722298landlording is just my sidegig.fella...but ...yh
>>149722298who the fk is sebbo
also im not amoral
It might be a 1 bedroom flat
But the tarq furniture I have coming
You wouldn't believe
IKEA had to source flatbed trucks from Sweden I hear
https://youtu.be/2tzrJPQD71s?si=YFAcBrnYnwe6qEdd
What's the verdict?
how do I unsubscribe from this dreary property blog?
>just picked up some keys
>just saw a cobweb in the corner
>just ran the taps
fuck off you offensively dull toothpick armed neek
>>149722371He's got no mates whatsoever. Nobody to unload details of his private life onto.
>jersey beatiing scotlel
kek
>>149722384it's so bad i started a campaign a few years ago on /brit/ to get people to stop blogging
it had mild success but i dont have the energy to keep up with it
mad how many people have literally no one to talk to but anonymous strangers on the internet
>zachster celebrating becoming an adult and wants to share his joy with di lads on /cric/
>gets constant shit for it
tired of this shithole trying to keep the black man down
>>149722133sydney sweeney's ass is better than her tits
>>149722371you will be able to unsubscribe when you are finally able to do 7 bodyweight pull-ups
I hope that is more than motivation
be free to get bummed by whoever I want here
no more shared bathroom for cleanup
a new beginning
>>149722197>no wicketspathetic. shit was good. threw in a shower to clean up even more before bed in a few hours.
>>149722371use the filters. would have to come up with some creative ones though.
Why don't India just bring the chucker back into the attack?
>tired of this shithole trying to keep the black man down
so true camarthen brother, so true
>>149722430if he throws too much he might get tommy john injury
Still seething about paying rent I see. That’s why I stick to freeholds, then you actually own the properly
>Messi now been in the US two years or so
>still refuses to learn English for a Walkers advert set in a British pub
>>149722454he's in miami. there's probably more spanish speakers than english.
Also if I'm in a pub and I somehow want a snack, Walkers is very far down the list.
reckon three (3) quick wickets should do nicely here ngl
of course it's a long list you fat fuck
>>149722485Did the inclusion of "somehow" not imply I don't normally snack anyway???
I don't snack because it takes away from the experience of preparing and enjoying a proper meal
/cric/ gets a lot angrier during games, and it isn't even the ashes with all the seethey pozzies
>>149722522soime soime
also messes with my IF tbqh
Not one for the front cover of Vogue is Jamie Smith I reckon
>>149722436It's spelt "Carmarthen" you fake Welsh cunt, if you weren't larping you'd know that
What happened to A. Deep?
>>149722535sign of the times innit
#concerning
>>149722542He just needs to learn how to smile.
>>149722547Earth Deep this test fella eyequeem
really strong smell of poo in this thread
>Needs to learn how to smile
surely you just either naturally look good smiling or you don't
England have been allowed to creep to a competitive score
>>149722596just reminded me of when gordon brown tried to smile because his handlers were obviously telling him to
horrific stuff
Out: Carse haters
In: Carse lickers
What's for lunch at Lords?
Mad to think the last effective prime minister was probably Blair before 9/11. So 25 years of mediocrity. No wonder gdp per capita has plummeted in that time
think a cheeky deccy is coming fellas
It's the same all across western Europe
Just a europe thing really
Joffra Archer is a VBN (very black nigger)
Smith has scored 407 runs this series.
On the list of most runs by a keeper in a 5 test series:
Denis Lindsay - 606 runs v. Australia - 1966/67
Budhi Kundaran - 525 runs v. England - 1963/64
Bradley Haddin - 493 v. England - 2013/14
Frank Alexander - 484 v. Australia - 1960/61
Alec Stewart - 465 v. South Africa - 1998
Clyde Walcott - 452 v. India - 1948/49
Farokh Engineer - 415 v. England - 1972/73
William Wade - 407 v. England - 1948/49
anmther bazball record inc
>>149722797This isn't Bazball though
The Indians were sledging to that effect yesterday
>>149722778We dont use that word here mate
>>149722797should bat above stokes but the ginge's ego would never allow it
Would the man on the Clapham Omnibus consider Joffra Archer to be "English"?
this red for ruth sections pretty grim huh
No discrimination outside of /pol/ please lads.
We are a group of lads who regard every race as having equal value
fuck me, how dreary
put some cricket highlights on instead yeah?
lunch discussion topic: best summer fruit?
I'm thinking peach
The man on the Clapham omnibus would almost certainly be either a recent immigrant or the child of immigrants himself. More likely to identify as British than English
>>149722989mango is THE best fruit
Does "English/England" still exist as a concept? Or is everyone just "British" or "in/from the UK"?
>>149722989mango tbqh
Alphonso or kesari
>>149722989Pineapple (cooked)
>>149721956England are only good at cricket under foreign rule (Nas, Eoin, Fletch)
>>149723074butternut squash soup, paneer tikka, basmati rice, carrots/beans/broccoli, and fruit salad, bossman.x
>Scotland have lost to Jersey in the T20 World Cup qualifier and will not be at WC2026
LMAO
>>149723074would eat almost all of that
bit basic but none the less good menu
>>149723074pea and mint tortellini sounds cool
speaking of which, someone bake
>>149722581>Akash means sky ha nice one, fella
>>149722989any stone fruit (including mangoes), any berries. For me right now this summer it has to be cherries
>>149723170agreed. was a tough one but wanted paneer
>>149723074Soup, railway curry, rice, yoghurt
>>149723074the fuck is a "cod loin"
>>149723247cod can get quite big so you wouldn’t necessarily eat a whole one
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7ITkhv8DR0&list=RDc7ITkhv8DR0&start_radio=1
Just shat my pants
Need to move down to XL butt plugs -- XXL may be too much
>>149723074Miso cod with the new potatoes thanks.
>>149723275'risp /alf/ enjoyer
>>149723258I liked smoked cod, Whack it in the rice cooker in coconut cream.
>>149723273you’re gonna love this
our new cricket overlords
>>149723302In Dublin you can try smoked cod battered and deep fried with chips (smoked cod and chips), goes good with a club orange
corr 30c on my wall thermometer
>>149723323>won the soccer wc>qualified for BOTH rugby was>qualified for cricket wcunequivocally a based sporting nation
>mongs still batting
Switching over to the tennis
wait.on...thought Archer was a lhb
>cripple batting 9th not 11th
why
>>149723330temperate spring day innit
Niggardly shot from Archer there
heard archer had a niggle in his back
Archer absolutely niggered that ball through the covers
>>149723432keKkkkk queem QUEEM
JOFFRA ARCHER IS A BLACK NIGGER
I think I said this last time but encouraging people to wear red to the cricket is exceedingly fucking stupid
Siraj had a chronic condition -- it is VERY SAD -- wherebyit he cannot handle the banter
PAEDOPHILE WORSHIPPING PIG-DOG CUNT
thought there was a nigg there? surprised india didn't appeal
Jofra Archer playing rather niggardly here
>>149723541better than encouraging them to wear red to the bullfighting!! haha
That’s it, I’m heading to the pub for a Campari and tonic
>>149723585you put octopus in a drink?
Right off the nigg of the bat
just pretend I've written something really racist here.
did zb post his celebratory pizza and keys post from the new digs¿
why is joffra playing on the blackfoot? he should play some shots
I've been to Lord's and stood next to the pitch during a Middx game and gone into the Member's pavilion because a good (tarq) mate was a member
It was pretty kino I won't lie
BUT
I still preferred:
>The Oval
>Chelmsford
>Taunton
Old Trafford and Headingley are overrated shit-holes
They had to do an MRI on Joffra's elbow and they found a massive black spot
>>149723643†he should be creaming the dukes
need an asterix on the honours board
>>149723673spudshed @innaloo
10 minutes, champ
>Nigger replaced by a Paki
The "English" cricket team is truly a microcosm of the last four decades of English history
can people piss in my general direction
all shite today
can you imagine in any other sport if a player got a minor injury so they just stopped the game and everyone just stood around so some cunt could get a massage on the field
345942
md5: 584d76eb736ed40c9d7d17087b1feb28
🔍
>>149723685There was a paki in the team back in Grace's day.
>>149723685You’re not very well educated
Cannot believe how absolutely massive Bashir's nose is. Immense.
>>149723748Yeah but I'd kick your teeth down your throat mick filth
Why don't you go piss your pants listening to some Black and Tans or some repulican dream nonsense
me¿ Julian Bashir is best Bashir
>>149723730Ranjishitkin or whatever his name was
>>149723728its retarded
why would you break up momentum like that
>>149723762The dog that will attack you doesn’t bark first and a lion fears not 500 mice
>>149723772Missing an 's' in there.
Can this cunt just get this over with
>>149723778Alright Seamus Heaney put a fucking sock in it
That sort of nonsense is purely for poofs
DROPPED THE TOILET-PAPER TROPHY
>>149723074>vegetarians forced to have double butternut squash Pretty poor planning desu, I am disappoint
More of a Michael Longley man myself
Mohammed Siraj is the sort of Uber driver to change his name to Mohd.
>>149723811lucky they're not eating cold sandwiches
This is a brainless game of cricketingnessosity.
It’s vegans who can’t have paneer
Can’t be bothered to wait for the last to fall
>>149723843>>149723843>>149723843
