Thread 149723829

England 376/9 vs India
Root 104 (199), Smith 51 (56), Bumrah 5/74 (27)
Live from Lords, England

Australia vs West Indies on Sunday

YFO

Any leaseholders in

YFI
IFI

NIGGER ARCHER and PAKI BASHIR

>>149723849
check this guy out lol

>>149723844
All I want to do is pay my GROUND RENTS to MAGGOT JEWS who DO NOTHING but LEECH MONEY OFF ME
GOD I LOVE BEING A LEASHOLDER

>>149723860
same thing happened last test, probably the same mong

>>149723844
LHO

>>149723878
This is what happens when multiple people think they're bakers
I was leaving it for countysperg since hes been baking and its part of his routine but seemed like he had gone awol

I should've realised his autism means that he had to wait until the final wicket fell to bake

>>149723844
yes mate, me
decided i hadn't done enough renting yet so just wanted to carry on with it after i "bought" a place
my landlord deserves my money more than i do, he works really hard

Suddenly thinking of Steve Harmison

Bashir officially has the highest IQ of the England team

what a dumbcarse

>387
>lose wicket
spooky

nice footwork arse

>Members lounge applauding the chucker but abused aussies who were found to have done nothing wrong
make it make sense

If ground rent isn’t rent, why has it got rent in the name?
When I owned a flat, I owned a proportionate share of the company which owned the freehold of the building.

>aussies
>doing nothing wrong
Chinny reckon

>>149723964
The evidence was deleted from our screens, so they haven't seen the proof of his chucking.

kumar sangakarra has a nice voice

Would Jofra be getting this level of attention if he was white?

>>149724036
or if he was straight?

Thought Bashit was on trial for assaulting a female officer at Manchester airport

>>149724036
Or if he wasn’t a woman?

>>149724036
Probably not.
Literally the hype for him back in 2019 was that he lacked the impulse control to not injure Smith, which was considered fair game because of the sandpaper incident.

I'll let you in on a secret
I'm not a big fan of Joffras

>>149724036
or if he voted for trump?

>talking about Archers white balls
eh

>>149724065
I’d like to hear your opinion on people with brown eyes

>>149724046
This is a mix between Bashir, Siraj and Bumrah
Id est, monkey 1, monkey 2 and monkey 3

joffra's favourite whiskey

brb

†when.india has a lead of 100+

jaiswal just trying to copy crawley now...

for me, it's Jersey

Cricket is a disgrace to the game these days

KL Qaeda starts on -50 runs for dropping King Mong

>Woakes bowling average of 13 at Lords
just increased a little i reckon

THEY ARE BAZING US AT OUR OWN BAZ LADS

>>149724092
>creepy crawley

Woakes is a fraudulent human being.
Much like D*vid W*rner.

wicket first over watch

COME MISTER TALLY MAN
TALLY ME OVERS

>Niggfra Niggher already injured
KEK
KEK AND LMAO EVEN
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

8 cans 330ml
4 x tiny rebel
4 x brooklyn
Penderyn whiskey night cap

The plan:
-start drinking at 5pm, watch england
-start posting tunes at 7pm, watch glammy
-drunk posting from around 9pm
-bed by 11pm

>average: 31
this is england's great white hope?

fuckin forehead on the fella

>>149724171
Mostly Root’s fault

FUCK OFFRA
YOURE OUT

JAISPOO JUST GOT NIGGERED

GONE GOTTEM
ON YOUR BIKE
FUCK OFF
JOFRA JOFRA JOFRA JOFRA JOFRA JOFRA JOFRA JOFRA JOFRA JOFRA JOFRA JOFRA JOFRA JOFRA JOFRA JOFRA JOFRA JOFRA JOFRA JOFRA JOFRA JOFRA JOFRA JOFRA JOFRA JOFRA JOFRA JOFRA

bloody hell

>>149724170
What's in the 8x330s?

>>149724171
OHNONONONO

BASED JOFRA

THERE'S A BLACK NIGGER ON THE FIELD
AND THE BLACK NIGGER IS TAKING WICKETS!!

GREAT BLACK HOPE

Ashes status: Its Arch-ing back our way ha ha

>>149724202
Learn to read complete posts before replying yeah

I think its time everyone here admits they were wrong about Archer

No wonder pakis are known for hating Africans.

>>149724202
I break it down underneath m8

>>149724229
No
I said he is/was a black nigger
And I stand by that

why the labyrinth on his head

Barbados' Jofra Archer
Zimbabwe's Brydon Carse
Paki's Shoib Bashir
Ireland's Ben Duckett
Peewee's Ben Stokes

England need more foreign players to be any good. Local players are dogshit

93 mph
phwoar

>>149724227
dont think you've got enough booze there mate, hardly going to be drunk posting are ya

>the last of the white english"men" at Lord's cheering for a nigger
grim

>>149724263
ask your mum

Business idea: every Indian home gets a flushing toilet but for old times' sake the pipe just deposits last night's curry out into the street.

Nigger cornrows on his nigger head
Nigger gold chains around this nigger neck
What a black nigger this nigger is

What a return :;)

He's the greatest bowler the games ever seen...

He's a nigger! He's a nigger! He's a nigger! A nigger, look, there's a nigger

Chris Woakes sits in the cuck chair while the Nigger fucks his Paki wife
A sad indictment on modern England!!

we don't use that word here lads

Fifty years ago we'd have you upside down with a fucking fork up your ass

Stokes should bowl Barbados' brave Jofra Archer for an unbroken 15 over spell of backbreaking short pitched bowling

t. Joe Poot

Whats got the blowies from /afl/ worked up tonight?

lol
a lot of indian diaspora in this thread methinks

Jaiswal going a Jaipoo in the Jaitoilet

>>149724324
I know he meant lynching but why the fork?

Alvays find it funny how Indians can't pronounce v
"Weedeo replay" is a classic

THERE'S A NIGGER ON LORD'S GROUND
SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING
WILL THE LAST WHITE MAN IN ENGLAND PLEASE RISE VP?

Hobart Hurricanes are up in 10 mins

Apparently Nigger Archer refuses to stand for/sing the national anthem
Ungrateful little cottonpicker

Are the gold chains the source of his powers?

Looking forward to waking up to the news Niggfra has blown his arm out again xx
Night lads 1488 xx

is he going to breakdance or rap?

>>149724426
good nigght

>>149724370
>>149724387
>>149724426
kek
how indian are you

I have never sung the Australian national anthem and I never will, fuck that gay shit

>>149724322
I think you constantly saying this for the last few days has caused this turn of events

>>149724467
Well if you won't, I will. *ahem*

If everybody in Australia
From Perth to Byron Bay
Got on a jumbo
To California
Wearing New York T-shirts
And living in LA
Tell Malcolm we're servin'
Servin' USA

We think Jimmy Carter
Is a real good bloke
We'll sell him our country
For a Ford and a Coke
He wants our uranium
We'll give it away
Tell Malcolm we're servin'
Servin' USA

/pol/poster out, anti-/pol/poster in

Reckon they should change it to ‘Warney put your wanger away’. Out of respect

>>149724493
at this point several people saying that line kek, I only used it once.

hit racism for six

>>149724467
ni hao

I thought aussies were playing today so I stayed up

archer cooked already
>30C heat
england are COOKED

what's """fair""" about Australia exactly?
how does Australia """advance"""?

I don't even know the lyrics to the national anthem kek

>>149724545
Jofra is just about an Aussie

>>149724494
really showed him didnt ya

>>149724589
Young and free nigga

>>149724587
He’s a 4 overs spell max, today might be 3 because it is hot. That’s how he is that’s why he gets injured

>>149724607
That's why it should be brutally simple and functional like GSTK.
Almost every other nation is a youtube video on why the country is worth your attention for 30 seconds.
Only exception is La Marseillaise.

>>149724607
it's god save the king mate
that's our rock

I’m soooo hungry

>>149724607
starts like this:

WORKING HARD TO MAKE A LIVING
BRINGING SHELTER FROM THE RAIN

piesperg is on one tonight

shall be making my pizza later. I skip lunch on Fridays before you imply I must be fat. also gym five days a week.

Uhh lads this isn't quite the slow pitch we were led to believe it was

I don't even know the lyrics to the collingwood theme song kek

I don't like singing or dancing

>>149724692
post piccy here fella x

>his peam has a theme song with lyrics too
mine has a regular song played only when players come out before kick off, but its a Mike Oldfield instrumental.

>>149724722
Oh no

>>149724702
good old collingwood for-ever
they know how to play the game
side by side they stick to-get her
to uphold the magpie name

jofra has about 3 overs left,already at his limits

I am a dimwitted dullard

>>149724776
He’ll be alright they just need to spell him. He had 4 there give him 2 or 3 next, maybe even just one before tea

>>149724776
nah give him 10 overs more
beat him with a cane if he refuses

If Jackson Bird was a paedophile singer, he’d be Jackson Jackson

Collingwood are known as the Magpies and Newcastle United are known as the Magpies and they both play in black and white stripes, but they are not the same bird

When Root tried to kill him he had him doing 6 and 7 with a 20 minute break in between fucking psychopath

Just blew out my daily calories in two minutes

>>149724830
good bird info bro

I feel like I'm mainlining the zeitgeist epiphany after epiphany. I feel like God is guiding me watch some famous streamer I never watched because he was """cancelled""" back in the day for first time in years suddenly he now has ideas that mirror mine.

any mortgagemen itt?

You reckon Archer and Bashir have to use the same coloured toilets that India use?

was getting an uber back with a mate (female) who just got back to aus
asked when I last had sex (made sense in context) said 9 months immediately see uber driver look at me pityingly in the rear view mirror might end it all lads

I'm a nutcase

>>149724894
very rarely see a non white toilet but they do exist

>>149724894
coloured toilets yes but don't reckon the indians use them

I used to naturally support England in neutral matches but now that have a lot of browns so I am finding it hard

>>149724915
how does a woman ask you that question
seems a bit too close
incidentally three months ago for me

>>149724915
grim tbqhwy

I met a nice Irish lad once, pretty sure he wanted to suck my dick

>>149724776
hey mista tally man tally me over
ball no swing and me wanna go home

>>149724933
the first part of this post is very unaustralian

>>149724937
she asked if i was seeing anyone said I was "going monkmode"

I will never ever have a girlfriend

>>149724944
SIX-FER FIVE-FER FOUR-FER LUNCH

>>149724933
do better sweaty and stop finding jeetajeets so hot x

>>149724946
You must understand that I am very autistic

She was flirting with you. Should have said you had sex the night before to make her jealous

>>149724977
I don’t think that matters in this instance

>>149724995
How so?

>>149724987
This and add that the chick was hot but it wasn’t very good

probably she was yeah lots of tension previously but I am "monkmoding" though that was true

opened the door of my freehold to the garden to let the dog run about. had to unalive three wasps already with an old copy of New Scientist.

should have just shagged her right there in the car tbqhwy

I am a painfully stupid fucking cunt

>>149725051
based fucking daniel

>paddy defending brits
fuck off back to britain hey

>>149725008
I don’t think being an autistic Australian is in any manner an excuse for committing such heinously unaustralian things as cheering for the poms ever. It’s a reprehensible act and you should be ashamed and disgusted with yourself

>>149725051
based david warner

My gf

>>149725051
based Zak Crawley on a vpn

It's Friday night, what are you doing posting here?

Post some proper tarts

mad how some countries are this hot all year round, can't get anything done at all. suppose it's not a coincidence the hotter your country the more likely to be third world you are

parish priest from my childhood killed himself after being accused of molesting several children
not me despite being in the sacristy alone with him multiple times as a 9 year old altar server
you have to ask why

>>149725103
trip on bane ya cunt

>>149725103
Saturday morning actually

Get Bashit on

who do you consider the most "Australian
-looking"
for me its Steve Waugh, Ponting, and Steve Smith
its the hair and eyes. like you'd be surprised if you said "hi" and they didn't come back with "gday cobber"

/cric/ getting angrier and angrier by the hour today
need AI gfs to become a thing because incels scare me

>>149725144
Travis Head could only be Australian

The Boon/Merv paradigm is the canonical Australian for me

don't think anyone in england can fathom the energy to care about other countries the way others care about us. even america who are the most culturally relevant country aren't really hated that much by us

Incel rage general

I am really angry. Don't reply to me or I swear I'll do time.

>>149725176
scot I would believe
>>149725159
ponting could be seen on the street of manchester

bitchwide johnmeme the platonic ideal australian

I’m such a fat idiot

>mitchlel shartc playing 100 tests
game's gone

remember when it was 40 degrees here a few years ago, mad that

Ernie Dingo

gonna go for a cycle

>>149725240
and nathan bracken too
the ying and yang of ausgods

what's even more mad is that the 40c from a few years back felt easier than the 34c this year

Gotta go visit my gfs dying great grand father tomorrow, grim to admit but I simply can not be arsed

>>149725248
clench my fists and shake with anger whenever a zoomer calls him one of the "greats"

>>149725261
posted his linkedin on here once then got reported and banned for doxxing kek

>>149725261
all liberal voters

>>149725282
i don't even have any grandparents

>>149725282
you should contrive a fake marriage proposal to your gf in front of his lifeglug so the old man goes out happy

>>149725144
Merv Hughes or Boon both look exactly like a convict should

>>149725107
applied for a ten pound pom visa yet mate

>>149725295
I remember tim paine had a linkedin showing him as retired and working as a coach literally just before he got called up to the aus test side lmao

>>149725322
another one of your HILARIOUS micks micksperg, keep them coming
who holds the ashes one next yeah? that's always a treat haha

my.parents are dead

>>149725315
elite look

jo angel was the thinking man's bowler

>>149725322
would pick poo peeland over australia 2bh. australia is london prices with a fraction of the things to do. ooh yeah go to the beach again for the 6th month in a row nice one

Australian drivers are absolutely crap, I too would choose NZ.

>>149725357
literally what do you think you will be doing in nz
getting glassed by a maori, you can do that in the gold coast

>>149725312
Not a bad idea but would I have to follow through?

1/5 of the nz population lives here for a reason
lovely country to visit shithole to live in

battle of the roses in 3 bongs

>>149725389
nah just be sure to tell your gf in advance that you'd never put a ring on her the barren slag.

challenge a single man itt to tell me why I shouldn't buy a skoda octavia rs on a 7 year loan at 7% pa

>>149725357
reckon that's why they killed the bradfield scheme champ

Someone’s been watching old Chris Morris DVDs

>>149725431
buy a used car with cash and l2wrench.
if you must go into debt, at least make it an "approved used" low mileage car so the cost us much lower. usually dealership will sort shit out on it for free if you spot them first.

people got upset at me tonight when I said the irish are a famously ugly race but I don't think I'm wrong

uh oh don't say there's lots to do in london
certain york rentlet will start seething again

tennis is so boring since federer and nadal retired

7% is mental. You’ll get a better loan off the bank website, let alone if you bother to talk to them

either he got banned or the leasehold bullying pissed him off

do you reckon? 7% seems average

>>149725374
no but steven schoonay iykwim haha

just buy a ute and write it off as a work expense. you are all alpha tradies like me right?

English tourists are welcome everywhere

>>149725507
i'm a white collar professional, solicitor at a magic circle firm if you must know

I am a hideous human being

>>149725512
these niggers are so retarded

>>149725512
>tourism sector literally only economy they have
>"NOOOO TOURISTS STOP COMING HERE"
?

>>149725506
I don’t they call them those in mexico

>>149725533
barcelona. they're as mental as the scotch when it comes to 'identity'

>>149725468
did i say irish oopsy daisy i meant chosen race

If you want a cheap reliable car, Honda jazz is the go to

>>149725529
>>149725533
It’s not ALL tourists only anglos

don't want a hatch
sedan or wagon

All I know is whenever I travel on early morning trains, I look for the tradies and travel in that carriage. Sure there may be issues on sites, but they don’t sit back and ignore crazies on the train giving women traveling alone a hard time.

>>149725535
no but steven jose iykwim haha

btw if you ever get lost in the bush NEVER leave your vehicle. german bitch got lucky.

the concept of Australian tradies was debunked in the last thread. it's all a larp to sound like 'one of the lads'

why would I ever go into the bush

All across Spain

I’ve been to Barcelona it’s really nice. They seem unfriendly and cold but as soon as you say to them I’m sorry I don’t speak Spanish I’m Australian they warm up big smiles and are very helpful

>>149725588
si, si jajajajaja

it's the tourists fault that spanish wages are a fraction of the rest of western yurop

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3okaBjf9_B4&list=RD3okaBjf9_B4&start_radio=1 state of mind

>>149725599
anyone know which country currently holds the ashes

the ongoing cricket isn't particularly interesting is it

Would be nice if fucking retarded europeans would stop coming here

mad how we gave women the vote

>>149725644
t. australian immigration department

only thing they're good for is picking fruit

Hey theres no cricket on so i i just watching some womens wrestling what you blokes doing

we should bring back slavery

what did warne get up to in the final 24 hours of his life in thailand i wonder

oh cricket back on now guys

>The Australian Constitution did not mention 'Australian citizenship'. This is because at the time of Federation (1901) until at least the Second World War (1939–1945), most Australians identified themselves as British.

now they identify as american. weird course of events

based paul trolling the poms with blatantly incorrect decisions

slavery is the only way to fix the cost of living crisis

>>149725664
for me, it's vaquer

>>149725721
julius caesar debunked this

sure it will suck for the slaves but think how amazing life would be for the rest of us. I don't think we should be able to whip them and we should treat them relatively well, but if we just force a portion of the population to take one for the team we can fix the world.

car talk reminded me my insurance runs out in a month. just had a new quote of £260 a year, down from £450 last year.
every time someone complains to me their car insurance went up i take that as an allusion that they crashed.

or they bought a better motor you povvo

>>149725755
no my family never do that.

kek gottem enjoy your shitbox lad

im a autistic retarded manchild

>>149725762
*an

I'll probably stay up all night watching the blast

>>149725761
*cheap to run, just werkz shitbox

sensing there may be some PPSBs itt

>>149725728
same

>>149725711
They meant British in the same manner that a Roman would refer to himself as a Roman. It was an Empire, they didn’t think they were British in the sense of being from the island of Britain

t. knower

>>149725711
Wrong.
>Section 51
>The Parliament shall, subject to this Constitution, have power to make laws for the peace, order, and good government of the Commonwealth with respect to:
>multiple power gaps
>(xix.) Naturalization and aliens:
Also, the Constitution itself declares that the people of the colonies are agreeing to unite in a federal commonwealth. You can't be "the people of the commonwealth" without being citizens of said commonwealth.

>>149725772
I made that error on purpose to test you

not paying my golf coach for tomorrow's lesson
been 2 months since I have seeing how far I can take this

really strong smell of servin' USA in this thread

>>149725793
>massive sausagefest
grim areas

>>149725796
such a retarded post

haha clothing banter take that athers

>>149725793
lgm

Those short shorts were pretty ridiculous and look very gay nowadays

the michael slater and henry blofield are raging inside me

>>149725793
even if you hate test at least you actually go to games
not been to a match since ashes two years ago now

He's quick
He's black
Joe Root fucked his back
Joffraaaaa, Joffraaaaa

New cars have all the electonic nanny shit you have to turn off everytime you drive. I'd happily switch to EV if they sort the range/recharging issue

Any faggots in?

go to day 1 of the test every year with my father. he pays of course I only make $170k a year

my liver? Ernst Stavro Blofeld
my beer? James Bond 007 licence to pickle

time for a beer

>>149725869
not me but on the record of not minding a finger up my bum

I was thinking yesterday about Chanderpaul and idk why but I remembered Michael Bevan. Nobody talks about him and my mate at school I used to go to the one dayers with was this massive Bevan fan. He’s a forgotten man of world cricket

>>149725711
It was because there was no such thing as ‘Australian citizenship’ before 1948, and Australians were automatically British subjects until the Australian Act in the 1980s.

mad that if you started playing Servin' the USA right now every aus flag ITT would immediately bend over and present their arse out of instinct

>>149725793
Is Ben Manenti as big in person as he is on the telly?

bevan I remember
occupies a sort of nathan braken position

Bowling selection was retarded. Should have swapped Carse for Potts and Bashit for Dawson, and maybe Cook for Woakes.

>>149725885
>>149725814
bbbBBBAASED

sometimes I get really bad heartburn

This is a James Hopes general

>>149725885
>Servin' the USA
>the
pozzies just collectively punched their walls

>>149725889
He's been out for a while so I don't know

>>149725918
1x omeprazole every two days me

>>149725919
>mom can we have ian harvey at home

>>149725881
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOQvyzYhUjA

bring back nignog

gary ballance

Carse
It rhymes with arse
a selection farce
Brydon Carse

>>149724084
soOOO BASED

Mmm i love asian baddies

>Starc @ 100: A beast at home, a pink-ball master and a menace for left-handers
kek jeets getting a bit passive aggressive with these ''''tributes''''''

plumber than india's toilet facilities

>>149726005
same

>>149726011
jesus that's really obvious seething

>>149725285
?

I am a ugly angry sexless loser

>>149725918
Is that the same as indigestion?

makes you hmmm
included old manderson's for balance

Would rather average 35 and bat like KL Rahul than 50 and look an abomination like Brook

>>149726036
Wouldn’t have said McGrath was a “fast” more medium-fast

might be a bit of a controversial take but I don't even think Anderson and Broad are 'proper' greats. they just played a long time and got the chance to play more tests. they don't quite pass the eye test overall even though they easily do in certain spells
only modern great fast bowlers for me are Steyn and Cummins desu - maybe Rabada has a chance but doubt he'll play enough games and won't face the top teams often enough

in fact hardly any, may as well have said “pacers” or “seamers”

>>149726139
not controversial outside of england
philander maybe in the conversation for a while but failed. amir too

>>149726139
not controversial at all
broad overstayed
old manderson not given a call-up for 2019 Ashes, allowed to resume statpad after

>>149725918
I had an issue with this for nearly five years also some gerd and finally figured out it was from eating raw capsicum/chilli now I’m fine. My stomach just refuses to process the raw skin of capsicums and because I’d never really eaten it like that growing up I’d not adapted to it so when I started eating them more often and in salads and stuff I developed a problem.
Next time you get heartburn write down what you’d eaten the past 24hrs you’ll figure it out

So why did England ignore Jamie Smith for so fucking long and why did they instead play Bairstow, who was fucking shit?
>average pushing 60 after 12 matches

>>149726139
>t. b8
too obvious
Broad and Anderson is one of the great bowling partnerships

FUCKING GONE GOTTEM KEK RIGHT OFF CUNT
(Waiting 50 seconds)

lurvely catch that

>>149726179
same reason crawley is still stinking it up

wicket.

shame we won't get to read any more of sebbo's retardation now india are losing

>>149725954
reckon I’d tune in quite quickly with those accents and patterns of speech

you now remember james pattinson

>>149726139
it's not that controversial with actual cricket knowers in the pub 2bh - i.e. blokes who've watched decades of the game
if you watch sky and their constant shilling of anything any england team does (same way they were banging on about Crawley being elite) then of course you'll think Anderson/Broad are Ambrose/Walsh tier when they clearly aren't

135 to win. If Holland fucks this up you don't deserve to play the world cup anyway

>>149726179
Smith was second choice keeper at Surrey behind Foakes. Foakes was the pick for keeper after YJB and now Smith has leapfrogged Foakes even though Foakes is the better keeper.

I got excited when I saw bottom level tickets available for Boxing Day, didn't realise I was booking in the barmy army area

>>149726179
cricket is just a summer activity here
>DUUUDE select your best players
fuck off we aren't Australia/India

>>149726139
Archer is the best English bowler I’ve seen in my lifetime

>bowling attack so bad ben stokes with a cooked groin is looking elite
grim state of affairs. grire even

more like karun nairly to the dressers

Nair a walking wicket, lucky to.make 40, did see off the new ball though. Great catch from the fraud.

marcus north state of mind

>>149726237
british citizen confirmed

based

>>149726252
Not a single one of these can hold down an end, except amazing Archer.

imagine if we had an allrounder called Cream
could call him Nair removal Cream when bowling and Bumrash removal Cream when batting haha

>>149726286
>amazingly
Correction

>>149726280
surely a meaningless stat
its just
>how long your test career is + how close you are to captain hence always on slips

I need to shave my arse

In fairness I always hated fielding slips

>>149726139
not really controversial, everyone knows they're homebabbies
england legends but nothing more

>>149726316
For your bf?

>>149726307
then how come that midget sachin didn't take more

>>149726280
Is the asterisks because of this?

>mark waugh not even in the list
why he is he constantly seen as le elite slips man then lmao

>>149726226
I honestly don’t think they’re shit or anything. Anderson was metronomic, like McGrath but not as quick and a little bit more adept at moving it but nowhere near as good as like it’s not even close. Broad had a real fire about him and could get a couple wickets and lift the team’s chances, again not super fast but he had some aggressive tendencies and he would’ve played test cricket for Australia if he was Australian, so would’ve Jimmy.
Archer has genuine world class potential, sadly missing four years will mean he won’t hit the statistical heights but he’s very good

>>149726341
i'd answer but then i'd be banned for racism outside of /b/

>>149726292
we had Reddy to Root yesterday

>>149726338
For myself

Only Germans would breed a mutant dog purely in order to murder badgers

reckon archer could get about 3mph faster without those big chains weighing him down

>>149726409
and with a BBC reduction surgery

>>149726345
That list is a measure of longevity, not ability.

can tell there's some UK flag /pol/ blowies in today

other than for wicket-keepers “catches” is a pointless stat, which is generally why it isn’t mentioned kek.

Even for wicket-keepers a better metric would be “missed catches” but I guess it’s a little too subjective.

Five-fer can be overrated, but a century is impressive regardless of context.

>>149726444
More pozzie ones judging by the use of nigger

I don’t understand why they bother. I don’t like cricket and I decided racism wasn’t for me once I realised I wasn’t intelligent enough to comprehend evolutionary theory

>>149726280
don't think you can read much into it
Root, Dravid and Smith dropped / drop loads. the others were good catchers

>>149726468
All depends on the opponent and pitch, but that can be said about all cricket stats so that’s why averages.

>>149726478
lots to unpack here

>>149726485
dropped at slips stat needs to be included

>>149726351
Frauderson started as a pure swing bowler which meant pitching the ball up and giving up a high economy rate and being cannon fodder when it didn't swing. Then they started using seaming Dukes and he became a back of a length wobble seam economy merchant.

Broad had higher highs and lower lows. Never recovered from being taggwd by rhe bouncer (Umesh?)

Starc is a great imo. Road warrior still playing all 3 formats

i get heartburn at night cos i snack too much during the day cos i am a fat neek

>>149726474
We don't say that word here

What is a neek?

>>149726474
most shocking use of nigger since joe root was captain

>>149726485
its kinda bullshit really
I mean jonty rhodes was pretty much the best fielder ever in modern day so you would need to compare drops etc to be accurate on how good you are

>sub-90mph over
Archer's already tired, or dare I say he has black man fatigue?

just saw root was playing his 156th game and thought that's a lot of tests and a huge amount of cricket
guessed he was in the top 10 so looked up the stats (is 11) but noticed Tendulkar is the only one to get to 200 exactly then retired. kek this nigga really did you play for hist own numbers didn't he

>>149726513
sure but it will almost certainly be something you are eating more than simply eating too much. Even the fattest of fat cunts can’t continuously eat they stop when they feel full and overeating should naturally result in vomiting not heartburn. If it’s every night you’ll have to give up on one thing each day until it stops

Being an alcoholic is shit

>>149726535
Unsurprisingly given he was basically dropped from ODIs for not being able to get through 10 overs in the Champions trophy.

>>149726532
him and Ponting was also exceptional especially at point

>>149726566
au contraire its really fun

>>149726566
what is the longest you been without a drink recently buddy

mad how due it being winter in Australia right now they have their Christmas decorations up.

the older and wiser I get the more I realise cricket is an eye test game not a stats game
Warne passes the eye test and happens to have great stats
Kallis is a stats great but nobody remembers him because he didn't turn up in big moments (fails the eye test)

Andrew Symonds was drunk when he rolled his car over

Is that Betfred World Matchplay for darts? They look like dartsmen. It doesn’t say in the ad and I wouldn’t know, darts is a children’s game where I’m from

>>149726603
I could do that but would need a stiff drink beforehand also so I understand.

>>149726596
based deano with a room for a souped up vauxhall

>>149726616
not sure what you're on about but irrelevant post due to flag, see first reply etc

>wimbledon semis
>england vs india
>sunshine outside
>longest possible time before more toil
>few beers
it DONT get better it just dont

>>149726628
tabla x

um how about when it was the Eng-NZ WC final and wimbledon final on at the same time? that was probably the most elite day of sport ever

Im horny as FUCK

imagine spectating at midwicket at Wimbledon would get boring fast.

>>149726631
It's 31c on my room thermometer

>muh toil
get a better job then

>>149726660
I'll give it to you, thats starting to get into hot territory

>few beers
teetotal general mate

I dont watch womens tennis very often but when i do i like it

think you have to +10.5c to convert it to Aus heat due to how the houses are made here

>>149726566
managed to quit drinking sept 2024 but didn't get any less numb

this is an alcohol-consuming, racism-outside-of-/b/ general

Sean Pollock is a teetotaller
if it's good enough for one of the greatest players of all time it's good enough for the rest of /cric/

>>149726722
masala!

Im a real nasty rotten cunt

>>149726654
that was kino
cricket and tennis - the sister sports both experiencing the biggest day of their competition together

>>149726756
you are what you eat haha

If drinking at the cricket is good enough for Chris Gayle its good enough for me.

peennis is just a shit, solved sport sorry

>>149726704
It’s not that bad. It’s 20 in the house here and feels compared to Sydney like it’d be 27 outside but it’s actually 23. You have to open the house up, all the windows, get a couple fans if you want they’re not expensive and get some airflow happening. It’s so fucking dumb over here they advise people to close the houses up to keep the heat out it’s totally wrong you need to let the air move and just go with it, drink more and do less

kek zachy still seething because ian humiliated him in straight sets

zachy what you drinking tonight son

Been playing System Shock 2 lately, played the first one too beforehand. Great pair of games.

andy symonds is a great role model for drinkers

>>149726859
>andy symonds is a great role model for drinkers
George Best stopped drinking and look what happened to him.

>>149726139
Anderson having his name on a trophy with Tendulkar is absurd.
>only averages 1.5 wickets per innings vs australia
>only 2 per inning vs India
>24 more home matches than away
Just another flat track bully

>>149726237
technically you're under the same crown as the poms, might as well take advantage.

>>149726901
if not Anderson then any other English cricketer whose last name begins with 'a' to make pakis seethe.

Now TV app on Roku is absolutely shocking. Trying to watch the cric and it crashes several times each session.

>>149726948
should have got a dodgy fire stick mate

>>149726948
Same here but not on Roku. Ad break ends then it crashes, and have to restart manually.

>>149726887
>got a liver transplant and immediately started drinking again
kek fuck the guy lower on the list I guess

>>149726990
Yeah I remember when he died, non-footy fans learned about the liver thing and all sympathy there might have been was erased.

We all watching Pears vs Bears yeah?

>>149726948
>>149726965
funny that
absolute shocker trying to find a decent stream as well today
i suspect the same providers have their fingers in the old iptv game so in fact provide the huge percentage of illegal streaming

>>149726964
Brother has one and it seemed like the quality was Indian-stream tier. Have they improved at all?

imagine watching t20 (non-) cricket

>>149727101
yeah it has
looking crisp on my end

if you let your leg rest up and you slap the underside of your thigh in a rhythm you can pretend you're clapping some fat bird's cheeks tonight

GONE
GOTTEM
GO BACK TO NZ LATHAM

Tom Taylor would unironically rip through India
Possibly the best bowlsman in world cricket

FUCK OFF
YOU'RE OUT
GET OFF THE PITCH CUNT

>bring on some spin
>wicket next over
never underestimate the importance of the brotherhood

pant immediately slammed his left hand onto the ground after "injuring" it

>>149727322
kek
done it myself, you are that angry at doing something stupid you lash out
stub big toe, punch wall

I’m telling you it must be a bad batch of Dukes it’s every single ball going bad 30-50 overs

heard they outsourced production to india or something is why
have done no research whatsoever it was just something I read somewhere so it's probably true

WE EATING SENPAI
WE BACK
WE FKKING BACK LETS GOOO
4-1 back on the agenda

could not imagine why anyone would possibly lie about something like that

never lied once in me life

wtf Bethell is playing against us tonight, that's unfair
Surely he should be with England

IT’S FUCKING FRIDAY NIGHT
NERDS GET LOOSE
https://youtu.be/RkFKbd0LraY?si=YMY2mg1_tK47r9Lc

>>149727422
kek
its fucking pakistan

>>149727495
lets fucking go boys

stop posting all caps text unless it's a wicket
you're making me think there was another player out

WICKET HASN'T BEEN TAKEN
STAY ON THE PITCH
NOT GOTTEM

>>149727520
we just got subham u tit

>>149727553
that was ages ago, well before your post

JAISWAL IS OUT
GOTTEM
FUCK OFF

>>149727575
sorry i looked away for a minute jeez bro

>>149727516
YES MATE RIP AND TEAR
https://youtu.be/tpKCqp9CALQ?si=-I83FTPm1bbN3lPX

>it's been an issue for ages
>but I only care now that I've retired
kek based

surely theres a better spinner in england than bashir

>>149727610
lel my thoughts exactly

>>149727520
https://youtu.be/KCzwyFHSMdY?si=JcFnYwOlNKLtc5Ss

>>149727610
kek every pozzie seething at this tweet in the replies

need to get Pant out
he is injured and going for it because of that
dangerous

>>149727495
it's saturday morning ffs

>>149727634
think there unironically might not be
people are hyping dawson but he isn't really good desu. don't think we should play a spinner at all as we're making roads for most games - just get Root to do it
what happened to Leach?

my boomer parents still in mindset that kids want big boxes of crap they'll never use more than once instead of things that'll last, like videogames. they bought two science education crap kits for my 6yo nephew's upcoming bday. me? a still sealed copy of Mario Strikers for his Switch.

>>149727610
I agree with him

>>149727706
not enough vibes for bazball
ironically Leach is playing ahead of Bashir for his county team though kek

I don't give gifts.

Earn them.

>>149727750
we agree with him.
we just don't think he would have said it only, oh, two years back.

you're going to turn him into an incel
they're trying to turn him into a productive member of society

>>149727690
don’t be a party pooper mate
https://youtu.be/rMdbVHPmCW0?si=woo8eWXmxr6J0LPb

Bashir is the ultimate proooover
>I'm gonna prooooooooove

>kids
FOY

>>149727772
judging by birthrates he will be an incel anyway.

midlands derby tonight bard

>>149727795
you were stitched up like a kipper on this, its simply not an americanism.

yes it is

I’ve been watching cricket since 1993 and in that time England have had only two real test class spinners, Swann and Panesar.
Tuffers had his moments but wasn’t quite in that class, after him the next best is probably Moeen Ali, then you’re into the real shitters like Giles and Such, Emburey, Salisbury, Dawson. Leach is as good as we’ve had really.

Giles had a series average of like 90+ in the 2005 ashes truly dire

>>149727811
Yeah watching it now
The old Pears vs Bears grudge match
They're on top so far, got a strong team out

KL Qaeda asking umps how many balls are left in the over
>"Is there one saaaaaar?"

thing with Giles is it became a bit of a running joke that he was really bad and everyone normalised it and he became part of the furtniture
maybe a bit like what's happening with Zaky C now. history repeats itself

>panesar
wasn't that good outside of 1 or 2 series if I recall

>lancashire lightning
>yorkshire vikings
who came up with these stupid names

GONE
GOTTEN
PEARS TOO GOOD FOR ENGLAND'S BETHELL

if not for watching Warne I would have grown up thinking spin is nothing but a meme to occasionally break up the real bowls that dismiss tricky batspeople

please don't spam your t20 (not cricket) shite in the cric thread
make a matchie if you want to talk to yourself about it

>>149727937
he used to get called penis hair

>>149727953
please make a separate thread x

>>149727973
It's a shame stu macgill wasn't 30 years younger. Having him replace Lyon with his half-long hop, half-full toss (that constantly got him wickets) would be so fun. He'd play every test for 25 years.

>lost 15 overs today
fucking umpires are shit cunts

I still can't name 1 memorable Nathan Lyon spell
another eye test failer

>>149728012
Some used to argue that Warne could’ve been selected as all rounder and they could both play. I’m not sure but it might’ve been ok, he is probably the second best spinner in the last 50yrs just happened to be at the wrong place and wrong time

>>149728037
his most memorable was when he left his wife and kids

>>149728037
DROPPED THE LEACH-STOKES

>>149727973
if it wasn’t for Warne, covered pitches would have killed off spin in first class matches.

deano, my son
....

TMS fucking seething about drinks breaks

>>149728037
When he failed to stump the nut

>>149727991
I'd rather not if it's ok

Monty helped win series against Pakistan and New Zealand, and away in India which is probably Englands greatest achievement in 21st century.
He got smacked about against Australia, as do most England spinners

>>149728037
Think he took 8 once. Thing is with the spinner it’s not really about stats it’s about breaking rhythm or econ locking an end down and sometimes wickets if it’s turning or just to clean up the tail give the quicks a rest

>>149728063
Rightly so, as big chef says: it’s for ad breaks on tv.

I don't rate Swann because he abandoned ship and the worst and most cowardly time
took 0 wickets as far as I'm concerned

Happy Friday lads

>>149728118
cor

>>149728085
k
rec #county cricket x

Reckon they should play on tonight both teams are guilty of time wasting and the umpires have done nothing and I don’t really care that it’s hot they’re professionals

>>149728118
nice rainbow bright socks faggot

>>149728118
happy friday thumblad

>>149728118
get the feet out for the lads mate go on corr

way too many english flags and the irish vpn is concerning as well assume that's micksperg

>>149728050
Selectors would never tolerate dropping a proper 6 for Warne and his terrible batting. Apart from NZ and England (weirdly) he was absolutely rubbish. Would have also caused problems getting Ponting, Martyn and Clarke in the side as that's generally where non-openers would slot in early in their career.

>>149728118
hmmmm
make sure you got plenty of suncream on lad

>>149728251
This makes perfect sense

>>149728118
that looks like an ipa
you are not a poofter are you?

>it's another 4 day max test
just put this format out of its misery already

>>149728299
>>149728299
>>149728299

>>149728118
need to get me a hammock ngl x

>>149728288
clearly a bitter