Give me an elevator pitch for a sport. Can be real, can be a sport you invented. But it has to be good!

you kick the ball.

>>149796531 (OP)
Podracing

>>149796659
Into some kind of net or where?
>>149796743
What is it

>>149796531 (OP)
fightclub for midgets

mexican standoff tournaments with live rounds

>>149796531 (OP)
Professional kick the can.
Each team is made up of 4 strong men. No substitutions allowed. Four teams play at the same time.
Umpire throws a rusted campbells soup can in the middle of a diamond field of random measurement based on how the Umpire feels that day.

Each side of the diamond has a hole just big enough for the can to sit vertically in and each team attempts to kick the can into that hole. First team to four (4) goals wins. No time limit, fights are allowed, Umpire will give random penalties based on dice rolls.
Penalties can range from losing a man from your team for a random amount of minutes, to being outright disqualified from the game.

Special Rule: If each team ends up with 1 goal each then the Umpire throws a pipe bomb into the diamond for fun. If someone is injured or dies then they are obviously out of the game and you have to keep playing a man (or few) down.
If the pipe bomb kills all players then the Umpire declares a draw. If the Umpire dies in the blast as well then the game will be restarted at a later date.

>>149796820
afghans about to dominate this sport

Tug of war but the contestants are only allowed to use their teeth to grip the rope. The rope has notches in it which are about the size of the average male tooth.

football in a dense fog

>>149796531 (OP)
Youngling slaying

>>149797425
are you also getting chased by a dude with a big knife and angular hat?

>>149796531 (OP)
Timbersports:
It's real.
Competitive tree cutting with axes, saws, & chainsaws.

everything I can think of always just boils down to "gladiators"

It's called bullet ball

>>149796531 (OP)
you get like 5 people One of them punts a football in the air whoever picks it up first is the queer and you have to tackle them. If you tackle them you get the ball and the cycle repeats.

>>149798593
MY POINT

>>149796743
Go on, how would we actually create irl Podracers? I would definitely watch it but lots of people would be turned off by the ~75% morality rate per race.

Powerkick
It's like power slap but with foot to the head

>>149796531 (OP)
1) Football ("soccer") sized playing field, but make it oval, for shits and giggles, goeal at either end.
2) Two teams consisting of 3 field players and one goal keeper try to score goals with a ball, which can be handled any way you want.
Scoring a goal nets you 10 points. Not 1, but 10, because bigger numbers are more exciting.
3) Each team also gets two so called "beaters" whose job it is to distract or injure the opposing field players by throwing or shooting massive iron balls at them.
4) Now, here's the real selling point: None of that really matters, because while all of this is going on, there'll also be an easter egg hunt on and around the playing field, where an additional player for each team (let's call him "seeker") is tasked with finding a hidden object (let's call it "snitch", because that rhymes with "snatch", which is funny). Once a seeker finds the snitch the match is over and his team wins - unless the goal difference is over 150 (actually 15, but times 10 as explained before), in which case the seeker is supposed to stall until the difference drops below 150.

Ingenius, isn't it?