Thread 150081005

India in England; Day 4 of the Oval Test.

scores 4 overs after resumption from lunch:
INDIA 224. & 396.
v ENGLAND 247. & 190/3.
England need 184 runs to win with 7 wickets in hand.

YFO

Marcus Trescothick

>>150080992
>
try not being a brainlet

first

>>150081061
gambhir is barely tit-height

I don’t love cricket, I like it

200 at 40 overs
Easy ODI game.

cricket mentioned

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vy-WU7RPxEw

Hope we get to see Woakes hobbling down the stairs with England needed like 15 runs to win or some shit, proper cricket that

big red button at sky sports that reads "show a 2005 ashes highlight"

>>150081228
they should add a new channel that just has the 2005 ashes on rolling repeat

>>150081213
>hobbling
>bad shoulder

He doing a handstand down the stairs?

>>150081246
"Channel 4" they could call it

well i have to go do family stuff in five minutes so hopefully nothing interesting happens while i'm gone

>This is only the second time Harry Brook has scored 400 runs in a Test series - remarkable given he scored 317 in the first innings of the Pakistan tour last year. He finished that tour with 373 runs.
A very believable stat considering he should already be out

>India batting
Seam movement
Unven bounce
Swing
>England batting
Easy batting

I've actually seen so many highlights of that series by now that it would be more interesting to just show completely random unedited bits of the 2005 Ashes instead.

>>150081203
https://youtu.be/YQMTGJer-dU

I'm feeling optimistic about England now!

Collapse incoming.

>>150081370
a real indictment of indian bowling sans bumgod

>>150081394
>2025
>they still don't mark replay shots

It'd be nice not coming back into the room after getting the drink and thinking there had been a wicket for 5 or so seconds before you notice it's a replay.

i miss kohli

>>150081451
They have to do that especially if pitch is dead and both batsman are cautious. It wakes boomers up.

>>150081466
Hardeep Singh?

Which football team do you fellas support?

>>150081517
Fitzroy

>>150081517
the mighty reds

>>150081517
Association Football
>Hull City

Rugby League
>Hull FC

Rugby Union
>Harlequins

Cricket
>Yorkshire CCC

>>150081517
Portsmouth fan me.

I believe

so it'll be 250-8 shortly

>>150081517
The World Champions.

>>150081517
Newcastle Utd
Like Union but wouldn't say I support any pro club.

>>150081517
Frankston Dolphins

>>150081650
Despise this naming trend. I like that AFL has normal team names like you can find in English football.

Looks like it's ok to stop watching now.
Indian bowlers are tired and injured.
England have it under control.
3-1 gg wp

>>150081395
Whenever I see the name Titmus it always reminds me of Abi Titmus and her sextape.
>it's in my arse.
>it's very naughty.

Root closing in on his inevitable half century and soon after lost wicket

>>150081741
The swimmer?

>>150081517
saints

>>150081308
there was a stat for that series that the aggregate for the next 4 innings was lower than the one mega innings in the first test

>>150081517
broncos

FUCK BINDIA

That's all

the #88 on brook's shirt alludes to his beloved sport baseball, means "Happy Home-run"

>>150081741
I always think of this when I think of Abi Titmus because of Ramsays joke about the life
https://youtu.be/QLEwaaTnFSM

>ooh just like headingley
When he was clearly lbw without a review and that fucked run out?

>>150081763
no, a pommy actress from the 90's. was the best celebrity sex tape (even though others were more popular) until paris hilton and severina vuckovic.

>>150081885
kek

The collapse is imminent I can just feel it

>>150081908
Kate Ritchie for me

>>150081908
she wasn't even an actress until the sex tape, she was a minor reporter for Richard and judy (a pair of daytime tv cunts) and got that from sucking dick as her bf was a presenter as well. Then after the sex tape she got fired and then did softcore porn before "becoming an actress"

Lol how insecure you have to be to counterjinx when your team is comfortably winning.

genuinely rooting for Root

Just looked up that sex tape and euurgh she's licking a black woman's fanny god knows what's been up there.

>>150081954
this
wish the bastids wouldn't have given me the glimmer of hope first though

>>150081965
never proved it was her desu but I still remember that one too lol.

lmao bindia have already lost!

>>150081988
well the bindian team is all esl so no wonder for the poor grammar

>>150082009
I don't care about grammar it's english who cares.

half-ton up for Rooooooooooooooooot

Siraj dropped the Mohammed-Ali trophy

just need bethell, smith, and woakes' mouldering corpse to be 50 and out men too

Under 150, pretty much only a 100 left. Should declare now really

another 50
another bucket of tendieulkar sweat

>all these fours

I'm worried /cric/ this shit always precedes a wicket from a missed shot.

>>150081517
Young Cherrypickers iykwim

India bottling a draw in the arse-poojura cup

>>150082034
Your indian

>>150082095
brutal

The Windies won a game this morning, happy for them

>>150082095
That’s a motorcycle

When do India offer a draw?

India need a win, they know that right?

India are going to bottle this and lose another series.

Imagine getting spazzed by Brook kek

series will end today. your favourite shitpost?
my commentary that Archer used the swing of his massive BBC to make a lunging sideways dive for his catch and bowl of Washington Sundial got a bit of attention.

Which Indian would you milk?

Exciting end to the Carse-Deep series

>>150081997
what sex tape

You now remember Siraj deliberately stepping on the boundary

Bring back saliva and ball tampering. this has gone too far.

It’s been a good and, entertainingly at times close fought series, a pleasure to have followed it (not watched) with the /cric/bros. It’s been a journey lads

we should declare now to solidify our winning the story narrative

1.4 bilion btw
india superbowel
pakis should nuke the fuck out of your country

>England only just past 50% chance

They're expecting a collapse as much as we are

>>150082284
>saliva
yes
>ball tampering
don’t know nothing about that

>>150082329
winviz is a cazzie meme

Can Siraj be considered human? He is a muslim and indian

>>150082284
India should just bowl underarm for the next 5 or so hours.

Tbh we were second best for large parts of this series, I don't like this result but it's also not surprising. Loosing both Pant and Bumrah for the last test also doesn't help but whatever, England lost stokes and Woakes too

Google has England at 80%

how come they're stopped chirping, are they morning birds?

>>150082365
It’d have to be very slowly done but it’s possible

>>150082373
>second best
go shit in street saars!

>>150082373
Pant is legitimately injured, Bumrah is just lazy and unfit

>>150082373
>Bumrah

What do you call a flat track bully in Cricket?

>>150082373
at no point did we have a clear first team
our fourth sport at best and we can't agree on who should be selected
nonexistent bowling attack for four out five tests
any excuse India has ours are still worse

>>150082454
Tail ender specialist.

>>150082469
imagine if Mark Wood is fit like Anderson
These Indians streetshitters wouldn't stand a chance

>>150082421
Stop fucking little vietnamese kids whitoid

I apologise for this post >>150079733

A rash error of judgement, a rush of blood to the head.

>>150082521
>tf
>tp

Rape capital of the world

>>150082329
a wicket and it will shoot massively in the other direction, winviz is a bit of a meme

Brook approaching the nervous nineties

>>150082521
Do not redeem saars!
go shit in street saars!
dont hear Siraj chirping anymore, dogshit in his mouth?

Why are they like this?

Is that why Mick hasn't been posting much lately?

>>150082595
go to /gif/ and join the indian thread saars!!!

i bought 11 different kits just so i can root against whoever is playing against england. fuck england. fuck their stupid little country and their pompous fuckboi cricketers

>>150082595
I work with social workers (many of whom work with sex offenders) who often use the term pedophile to describe molesters and I often have to correct them. Something which they don't like.

There are plenty of people struggling with pedophilia, something they never asked for and would probably do pretty much anything if they could get rid of it, who never have and never will touch a child or consume CP.

There are child molesters who are not pedophiles, there are pedophiles who are not child molesters.

People need to be more aware of this, because when you say pedophile you are including people who have never and will never commit this crime, in the description of these monsters

>>150082612
afraid so

After these two we've got nothing left batting wise desu

>>150082635
you are assuming these indian rapists can read

>>150082373
This England side has been pants and will get spanked down under.
>poor selections
>poor tactics
>two-dimensions players
Should have easily won this test and done better at Edgbaston. Even the Lords win was pretty dispiriting at the end for England, Headingley was the only convincing win of the two.

>>150082635
strange hill to die on mate

>>150082668
despite that they won't ever get whitewashed by NZ at home

They are rich, supposed to be educated and civilised.
Yet they behave like this.
What's the explanation?

Joe Root

>>150082668
pant plays for india m8

Good Day!

>>150082512
Hopefully Stokes has the sense to rotate him and Archer in the Ashes for one another with Archer playing the first test.

archer is being rested for this test so his bbc is fully charged for the first test and half the second test in australia

did you heed this anons words in /cric/ after the last ashes?

the clock is ticking lads....

>>150082825
Nope lol :(

if we had bumrah this game would already be over

If this shit gets rained out to a draw...

>>150082825
simply am worse off since then

>>150082855
Why would it get rained out?

>>150082855
You still win

the boundary rope was a mistake

>>150082635
This, it’s like being homosexual but not being a faggot

>>150082959
Yeah but it's always a shit way to decide a series.

Is Bazball the Fosbury flop of cricket?
>>150077189

TMS seems to think if they say "this has been a GREAT series, absolutely spectacular display of cricket, A great advert for Test cricket!" it will actually become true lol

Whenever I meet a Yorkshireman what strikes me is he won’t say he’s from England he’ll say he’s from Yorkshire. The Cornish also do this, and the Scouse

>>150083005
>picrel
Based ngl

>>150083047
And Londoners

>>150083031
what the fuck is a fartsbury flop?

>>150083031
has to be overarm bowling

gambhir looks like a tranny

>>150083044
I don't like the flattening of pitches up and down the land
the trad greentop series of 2018 was far better

>>150083055
rigged matches what's the point of going on about it so much?

>>150083082
That’s true

>>150083084
It's the position I took with ur mum last night.

We like chess more desu

>>150083047
Jocks and Sheep-shaggers as well.

We need a completely new pace attack ngl. Bumrah’s retiring from tests next week, Siraj is just shit, and the rest are even worse.

>>150083094
He has very small hands, reminds me of one of Epstein’s friends.

>>150083129
Yeah funny they say they aren't from England, can't quite put my finger on why that is..

>>150083084
someone does a technique so innovative that's what everyone uses forever after
fosbury flop was in the high jump event

>letting Brook get into the 90s
>not taking a wicket against a side that bleeds them

>>150083134
These guys are good in my opinion, Anshul was shittier when he played, only change I could see happening is Arshdeep in for either of Akash or Prasidh

>>150083031
>overarm bowling
>figuring out how to wicket-keep

>>150083031
KPs style of batting

Bumrah averaged 40 against the English top 7 in this series btw.

Can’t remember who it was but somebody started around the corner kicking in rugby (probably in league, possibly a Frenchman)

not been following the Test today and just checked the score, I assume our indian friends are taking it well?

>>150083031
Adam Gilchrist.

>>150083031
the pakis who worked out how to make the ball reverse swing

Also Gill's tactics are questionable, he has proven his merit as a batsman this series (?) but his skippering future is still uncertain.

>>150083260
>Round the corner kicking was invented in the 1940s by Willie Horne, the Barrow, Lancashire, England and Great Britain captain and rugby league player

bazball is just t20 approach but in test cricket. It truly spells the death knell of actual "cricket".

replying without post number is the fosbury flop of /cric/

>>150083373
only crusty old boomers get angry. imagine any other sport where scoring more quickly is considered bad

Chances the Indian plane will be flown into a slum in disgrace when they return?

>>150083373
I think it's the way forward, you've got to think that batsmen are losing test skills and patience after participating in t20 slogfests for 10 months of the year. Rather score runs before you eventually get dismissed for your own incompetence.

It wasn’t seen in union for a generation until a Welshman, likely a retired rugby league player returning home to Wales to take up a teaching/coaching position
>Round/around the corner kicking used in rugby for kicking penalties and converting tries, was originated at Lewis School, Pengam, Glamorgan during the 1962/63 season in an under 14's rugby union match between Pengam and Yr Graddfa, by Terry Dipple scrum-half for the Pengam team.

>>150083333
not simple enough

>>150083430
cheeky fuel cut off by captain s. gill

Batting at a higher sr on a minefield just makes sense, it's a wonder anyone ever managed to chase anything on day 5 pitches outside of subcontinent roads.

>letting England get within a hundred
>>150083430
>scoring quickly
also losing wickets quickly, having no approach other than chasing balls and slogging it to cow corner, wearing your bowlers into the ground because they have no recovery time because the batting shat the bed, being heavily reliant on several players because the rest are shit.

coooor proper pukka pie that

being able to easily chase down near 400 in the 4th innings is gonna kill cricket a million times more than fast scoring.

ECB will be fuming about missing out on day 5 ticket sales, they might send word out to slow things down a bit

can't believe so many Indian fans came all the way to England to see their team lose

why have pukka pies ever been allowed to get as famous as they are? pies are fucking awesome but pukka pies are a disgrace to the name.

>>150083569
Just think of all the extra flights they must have put on!

>>150083569
I don't think there are that many from Scotland and Wales.

This is hilarious

>>150083541
England are going to chase it down because Gill has only three seamers who have been bowled into the ground and are completely worn out due to his earlier tactics.

>>150083442
The way I see it is t20 is the gateway cricket for casuals and children, very much what’s already been seen in the past with one day limiters overs cricket.
Most of us, myself included, have childhood memories of one day cricket and how exciting it was and later we matured into lovers of test cricket and I see that will occur again with the current younger generations coming through.
Test cricket also has the advantage of making more money on concessions (food and drink at the ground) and because it goes longer there’s more advertising opportunities, test cricket is the pinnacle of cricket in every conceivable way

a good innings from brook
but not necessarily a brainful one

even as a kid i thought pyjama cricket was fucking shit

>>150083658
he actually curbed some of his bazzing instincts, pulled downwards to krishna quite a bit

>>150083616
They should just come up with a way of making non-stop cricket work at a pro-level

a cricket mad nation of a billion plus and yet you can't find bowlers to defend 370 plus no less than twice in a series
POOTHETIC

Bazball only came about because modern batting was absolutely cooked by t20 already.

I just have a feeling Root is going to miss his century

Who has the best foward defensive in cricket today?

When prime West Indies smashed a massive chase with Gordon Greenidge walloping the ball all over, it was soul. Same when the AusGods won that Adelaide test in 2006.
England doing it sucks and it is killing test match cricket. This is not okay.

>>150083725
The match should have been awarded to India when a lowly groundman thought he has the right to talk to the Indian staff (who are clearly his betters).

I loved it because it was something I could stay up late to watch during the school holidays. We’d play cricket or go swimming during the days, go to the movies for the a/c when it was really hot, and have bbqs all weekend. Don’t know what you Poms were doing as children in summer probably digging coal or pickpocketing

>>150083725
If this England side could bat sensibly they'd have an innings victory, but they can't hence why they first innings lead was pitiful. They don't play "cricket" because they can't so play t20.
>>150083851
unironically

It's debatable as to whether this was even the biggest choke from India in this series

>>150083882
no its still Lord's

>>150083865
>probably digging coal or pickpocketing
hahaha got a chuckle out of me

do NOT let this Test chase distract you from the fact the Women's Hundred starts at 14:45 on Tuesday

>>150083882
Those Indian pundits saying it was "90% India's match" this morning on 5 live...

Wasn't there a time in ODIs where players had strike rates of 60-70 is? Why did that change?

>>150083876
>If this England side could bat sensibly they'd have an innings victory
didn't they have a ridiculously bad record before bazball when root was captain?

>>150083921
WinViz had England at 1% even before Crawley got out last night

>>150083921
England could still collapse

I assumed Australian teenagers just drive around in commodores huffing petrol and getting alligators pregnant

>>150083926
Bigger bats, flatter pitches, smaller boundaries. New ball from either end made a big difference too.

>>150083926
roided bats, roided players, cowardly bowlers

>gloating about a home series win
England lost in India 4-1

>donald bradwoman averages 100 with a strike rate of 80
>considered the goat

explain this

Took a nap and missed most of the first two sessions. Narrative status?

>>150083978
saar your ass is blasted

>>150083952
It's always possible but once you're getting to below 10 runs a wicket the bowlers start to give up.

>>150083926
I think it was the Sri Lankan openers in the late 90’s, the fielding restrictions used to be for the first 15 overs so their strategy was come out and whallop it they used to touch on rr of 10-12. After that the stupidity of power plays came in but the genie was out of the bottle so to speak

>>150083946
exactly my point

>>150084000
England winning against tired Indian bowling on a batting friendly pitch.

>>150083978
even pozzstralia doesn't lose to this shit team and its only the third sport there

wow they're actually gona do

>>150084000
You missed two goals and a red card

>>150083978
yeah now tell us what happened when our little brothers came to visit

GONE idiotic dismissal

>>150084044
Total Groundsman Victory then

ITS OVER

>>150084072
hang on

>>150084042
so if they didn't baz and they also didn't bat how they normally bat before bazball they'd win by more. didn't think of that

Uh oh

Why the fuck was he trying to hit every ball for a boundary? What a retard.

GOTTEM

>bat mong gets out with 73 still needed

tard

Narrative lost.

>>150084100
What was that Dahlit thinking, speaking directly to him?

Poolaspe status: ON

SECOND I START WATCHING HE GOES OUT
SECOND IS TART BRAGIGNG ABOUT WINING HE GOES OUT
FUCK

bat and wicket thrown away

Collapse incoming. I for one have screenshotted every smug post, and shall be posting them in /cric/ at regular intervals

Heh he threw the bat at it haw haw

Why do battingpeoples always get bored after their century?

>more population means better results
I hope rest of anglos aren't this retarded.

>>150084124
This, he’s only putting pressure on the next man in

fucking hell lads

Into the tail now. India's win secured

custom is that we have to applaud him because he achieved an arbitrary score when in fact him being a retard risks a poolapse

my god imagine if they lose from here.
>applauding this retard for getting himself out and risking the win
>raising your bat like you did the job
holy shit british mentality.

>>150084148
you got to proudy

Pure brainrot

HATRICK HATRICK HATRICL HATRICK

australia's brave oscar piastri lost

its over

we've got nothing left

BAZBALL IS THE DEATH OF CRICKET

>>150084169
It’s a classic shitpost. Nobody thinks overall population actually has any effect on sporting prowess outside of extreme examples of low population (if you don’t have enough people for a whole team for example)

brook really is thick as fuck

>>150084168
getting a quick 50 is cool
getting a solid 100 is a great effort
getting a nice 150 is tryharding
get to 200+ and you start to look like a bore

>>150084169
>what is a talent pool

Not any of our fault your uncivilised and unathletic country couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery

Batwell test average 44
England still winning this easy.

desu
it's quite immoral to ask for more info on that interracial lesbian sex tape isn't it
so I won't be asking for any more info after this post

>>150084251
like vietnamese policeman said to the australian, "he's a fuckin kid"

>>150084254
>interracial lesbian sex tape
what's this now, I haven't been paying attention, did they play it at the ground?

Bethel looks like he thinks beer is 'yucky'

mark my words, Gus Atkinson is going to hit the winning runs

Mental how many Indian adverts are just pure AI on the Willow stream

Still better than watching spastics dancing because of car insurance and goyslop that will no doubt be on Sky Sports however

bethell nearly tripped on his umbilical cord coming out

>>150084302
I noticed that as well.

>>150084168
tiredness kicks in and generally the last 15 or so runs tend to be slow as fuck so you feel pressured to just hit it. No one wants to be the slow 120 in a winnable match that ended up being drawn.

Anyone know where I can watch a stream of this?

going to cheer when england win
when I walked in 99% of screens were showing F1
absolute state

>>150084331
yeah m8
*unzips dick*

>>150084290
still on the dark fruits

Do India really want to win bowling against Woakes?

>>150084248
>>150084263
test cricketers are chosen from first class cricket. It’s a legitimate argument to compare those; number of clubs/provinces/states and registered players, facilities and coaching.
Arguing that the total population is the same as the talent pool is absolutely absurd

>>150084331
https://area51hd.shop/sport7//watch/england-india-aug-3

lol what the fuck was that

phew

KWAB

He fast!

That's the kind of "drop" which destroys all the motivation of the bowlers.

Chalk, please.

Deep and Krishna both worse than Mohammad Asif by a huge margin

Imagine being Root having to watch that utter brainrot at the other end

>>150084492
>If I keep denying it its simply not true

this zoomer has contributed 1 run in 10 balls, I think he needs his head kicking

>>150084112
No, my point is that they're (Brook, Crawley, Duckett, Smith and Bethell) t20 players and so don't have a pragmatic and sometimes the necessary defensive play, which is alien to them. They throw their wickets away too easily, they're only approach to spin is to slog. They lack patience and stamina. It doesn't come simply down to having a high sr.
>>150084393
England has a much smaller talent pool than India as a proportion.

Business: schedule 5 tests back-to-back with no breaks between any of the games. Winning the series simply becomes a matter of who has the higher population.

Just leave the remaining runs to Root

Jacob Bethell is Welsh

Males are just over 51% of the population in India, so this is 700m. 20% are dalits and will never be selected, giving 560m. Maybe half of those are above 35 years of age. So India has 280 million cricketers to choose from but their best 11 still can't beat our shit team.

Jacob Bethell is Barbadian.

Can't see that being out

>>150084547
england and wales cricket board :)

You can't really give that out
Far too much going out
It's probably close but you can't really give that

>>150084547
He's black!?

How can you say having more people to pick from doesn't help when we have to start crawley

Bold take
>Welsh men
pleb tier
>Welsh women
S tier slags

>>150084568
white people can't be barbadian

POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT

*far roo much going on

>pooviews a clearly ouside the line impact
I remember when Australia did some pooviews and it meant they had none to fix a blatant error and lost the game.

>>150084590
not sure this is true

>bad pooview
>get fucking bazzed

>you
thought
>we
would choke

quite enjoying the reaction shots of the Indian players

jsut noticed the countries with the highest GDPs in the world are the ones with the most people and the higher number of people in the workforce not sure there's a correlation though

India probably have a few vegetarians in the squad that don't supplement creatine
No wonder they are going to lose

>>150084658
Yes I did. But luckily JE Root is saving England once again.

>>150084518
>>150084532
England has 18 fc teams in the County Championship
India has 38 fc teams in the Ranji Cup.

Those are the equivalent teams numbers. After this you should compare the respective quality of facilities and equipment and coaching, I’d guess India are still ahead but it’s nowhere near the same ratio as by population

>>150084661
how come cameras no longer cut to Indian fans in the stands like they did every 30 seconds in third test?

>>150084677
I would have thought cow urine is a good source of creatine?

gay rain

>>150084677
mo siraj is the only meat eater

>>150084689
Probably because they've all fucked off back to Birmingham already

When's the collapse

what are you having for tea lads

>>150084739
Australia's first innings of the Ashes

>>150084688
do you think the quality of first class cricket could be higher if there were more people to choose from and more people playing?

>>150084743
Reheating some curry
Powder it's rice and mini naans and maybe a potato

England and Australia will be ranked 1 and 2 going into the Ashes (probably)

>>150084743
made a simple chilli this morning, been letting the flavours develop

>>150084688
Yes but the way the systems work isn't the same in England and India. Ranji teams have a much bigger talent pool because they can basically pick any registered player in their region and Counties have contracts.

looks like they've finally blocked my iptv provider

cut out about 20 minutes ago on everything, works fine over vpn - cunts

anyone told Bethell we aren't playing for the draw?

>>150084785
He's just absorbing the strike and letting Root score. Plus he has played basically no cricket this season.

good idea to have Nas pretend to be a boomer looking up wtf "the hundred" is

I thought the hundred was a tv show about the rapture

County cricket is funny because they fill their teams with imports and actually try to make money and win games shit. Every other FC league is purely development for the national side

>>150084743
might have a couple digestives

bought sausages for a bbq later

it's live
https://youtu.be/JWNfSL8IODA

>>150084850
>pork and marmite

zachys having a bbq on his own

>2004
Based time traveler

>>150084850
>pork and marmite
proper food

To make test matches quicker why dont they just have a big bbq set up at the edge of the pitch and you can go grab a banger and a lamb chop whenever you're a bit hungry? No need for lunch and tea then

Test cricket is better than a good book

>>150084919
>passenger car seat
not him

feels good being on top of the world

cowardly Indian rain

>>150084822
It’s because the county teams are private companies and not like the state teams where they’re just the team of the state association, the county development boards are separate from the county clubs. Traditionally the CCCs are just member owned, and it’s how most still are, except Hants, Northants and Durham which are all private ownership now. Most are in big debt, and the money making is why one-day was brought in in the 60s and then T20 in this century.

Raining poo

wtf is this gay shit?

>>150084850
Curtis butchers sausages oh it lovely di lads

gayniggers from outer space the squeakwel

from the future, England 352 all out

>>150085050
Why did they bring in the hundred?

>>150085098
money

The Indians should perhaps try and get some wickets here

Has this pointless delay been manufactured just so they could show that segment?

Gonna be glad when this series is over and I don't have to see the little gay noisy Vitality dog anymore

Just have no idea where to buy clothes anymore, too complicated

Sausages alone aren't really my thing

>>150085108
No the Indians were unhappy with how wet they got in the rain and felt like it had taken several layers of spices and dried turd off their skin so have locked themselves in until they can get back to an appropriate level of aroma.

>>150085098
T20 cash cow bolted the farm

>>150085130
couple of hattricks and it’ll all be over

>>150085108
It was tea m8

South Asian woman was impressed with my pull-ups earlier

>>150085126
Love a sausage and your mum loves mine champ

how about this sausage

>>150085147
Yeah, I mean that’s the thing right there’s already t20 and making another slightly more shit and less cricketing version of it would seem on the face of it to be unnecessary when t20 could do with the marketing itself and a marginally longer season

Hope england win, but also Hope Bethell gets out before >we win as he is Welsh (West Indian)

>>150084850
>bagged sausages in ziplocks
>pork and marmite
...

>>150085179
reaffirmed my long held belief that I’m very much not homosexual

>>150085203
Lush x

>>150085203
butchers innit
not buying the shit they sell at supermarkets
the fun variety is also why

>>150085183
They made it just so they could sell it. The Blast isn't nearly as spectacular as the other main two franchise leagues (The IPL and the BBL). They are greedy and want their £1million commission.

>>150085203
sounds superior to any ''''food'''' australia has to offer

>>150085098
>zoomers and gen whatever the fuck 14 year olds are part of have got bored of T20
>the fireworks and dancers aren't drawing crowds
>I know, let's make the game even shorter!
>even the most ADD, titktok brained children will love 15 minutes of cricket!
Give it 10 years and they will be doing "T5" with 3 games back to back like baseball or switching to indoor cricket rules so people can baz away every ball without the pesky issue that the good batters might be out first ball and ruin it

>>150085222
no reputable butchers sells sausages like that

>>150085179
too soon mate, lost too many celebrities this year

>>150085229
Australian sausages are usually beef and nice, it’s not allowed to add sawdust and newspaper to them by law

just got hacked bro even though it's a body clone I know
stranger things have happened!

>>150085237
Essentially it will become a home run comp.

>>150085239
why not?

they're loose on the counter, you pick how many you want, they bag them up - not really that much difference to the white bag/wrapping they usually stick them into

>>150085247
Meh beef sausages just don't get hit the same as porky boys

>>150085237
they are discussing making the Hundred a T20 competition within a few years time, likely spelling the end of the Blast

>>150085239
every one I've been to uses a plastic bag, either zipped or tied off.

I have sucked lots of Black Sheep but I have never sucked a sausage

>>150085296
alri riggwelter lad

the helmets make it harder for cazzies to identify players
batsmen had unique looks back in the 80s

>>150085239
You’ll be alright mate

>>150085282
>>150085269
I've never been to a butchers, not even a butchers counter in a supermarket, where they sell them you in plastic press and seal sandwich bags. They wrap them in a white bag and then tie it off and put that in another white bag.

>>150085315
Not yet he hasn’t

>4.55 strike rate
just not bazzing

The brainlet cut
The intellectual soft hands guided to third man

>>150085315
Jagger was permanently mogged on that front nearly 60 years ago.

Fucking hell they are so terrified of Root passing Tendies they are refusing to bowl him anything but wides?

100 UP FOR ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT


>if i reply to it three times they won't know Im a samefag
cope spachy you dirty northerner

>5 wides when bowling to Root on 99*
DESPERATE to not let him get that 100

>>150085293
games gone

ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT

>>150085331
Must be a regional thing

>>150085331
i've not seen them like that myself, but it's not that much different?

if anything it's a bit better as you don't need to tear the bag open and need to find your own container or bag to store the rest in that are left over

>>150085279
It wouldn't be the hundred then would it.

onya pooty just do this down under as well haha

>>150085341
Jagger shagged more women and had more kids and is currently married to a much younger ballerina. He's also not dead.

PLUS

Are Michael fucking LOVED cricket and has the benefit of being a superior ENGLISHMAN

>>150085376
it’s progress, technological innovation, ergonomic sausage carrying devices

>india still not offering a handshake

pure cowardice

Paper is NOT airtight.
Plastic is superior for wrapping up bangers.

>let's shake hands this is clearly a draw
>but there's another day left
>obviously gonna rain innint, where's the spirit of cricket gone?

mick jagger and Paul McCartney are narcissistic neeks who both kicked men out the band because they got more wolf whistles than they did
one of the main reasons I will never listen to that boomer shite

So the hundred is just a scheme to wrest t20 away from the county clubs

>>150083851
Unlike England, those teams won most of their matches.

>>150085397
t. buffalo bill

>>150083616
that's actually a really nice way to look at it.

>>150085397
separate the art from the artist please they’ve loads of great tunes between them

>>150085421
I meant bungalow but I just watched silence of the lambs lol
what am I like
luv me cricket
luv me annibal
ate me fellow /sp/ee posters

simple as

Cazzie here why have the fielders stopped chirping?
>>150085386
Where's the bowlsman?

the beatles were a government psy-op and when the original paul mccartney died, they rushed to replace him with a like for like as they had invested too much the op and couldn't let the band break up or fizzle out

>>150085441
>Cazzie
you're not a cazzie, you're a blowie.

>>150085442
save it for /pol/ you boring sportlet cunt

I can't even seethe rn, Joe is such a likeable player.

Yeah I blew your mum

>"In jest"

sure

What did cricketers use to do on the boats for weeks on end

mad how I've wasted 15 years of adult life and now a shitty /cric/ thread is the highlight of my weekend. lol

>appealing
>in jest

Had the pleasure of meeting Paul at a charity do once. He was surprisingly down to earth, and VERY funny.

>>150085470
They were able semen so they would have had all hands on dick

>>150085470
Write correspondence to loved ones.

>>150085470
bowl coal into the furnace

I hate when players stop to celebrate centuries.

When was the last time India produced a likeable player, nay even a likeable person?

>>150085470
drink and smoke
different times back then

>>150085471
You are me

>>150085470
>cricketeers
>boats

Oh no...

>>150085470
Fuck brown birds on the Ceylon stopover

>>150085470
Range hitting

Reckon Joe goes past Punter's ton count in Australia?

>>150085492
Imran Khan was alright in hindsight

>>150085492
This may be controversial, but I like Jadeja.

>down to earth
What on earth does this mean
Meaningless gobshite

God Siraj is so unlikable

>>150085470
Net sessions.

Considering the talent pool, why have India never managed to win the ashes?

>>150085442
https://youtu.be/z7syIxQCquo?si=v-ky5ghpfQ3Xzvhw

>>150085492
big fan of Wasim Akram

>>150085471
it's not worrying you've wasted 15 years that's the problem.

It's when you're wondering what the fuck you've to look forward to for the next 15 years when things get bad.

>>150085470
fish and play cards

>>150085492
the 12th century

>>150085492
Native Indians are more likeable than 2nd generation immigrants living in the US, that's for sure. Mamdani, Ramaswamy and Minhaj are cringe as fuck

India gave up even when england were 90 runs adrift
Bit pathetic really

>1 whole day left
>not offering a draw
>not trying to get wickets

do india have a moral obligation to stop fielding?

>>150085511
"Down-to-earth" is an idiom used to describe someone who is
practical, sensible, and realistic. They are not prone to being overly imaginative, idealistic, or pretentious.
In essence, someone who is down-to-earth:
- Has a good grasp of reality and deals with situations in a realistic manner.
- Is approachable, humble, and easy to relate to
- Avoids putting on airs or acting superior to others.
- Is often described as having common sense.

>>150085549
they're waiting for siraj to get his century

Gottem

ffs making hard work of it now

The Bethell meme exposed as a meme.

Go play so county before the big boys in tests.

>>150085553
thanks chatGPT

If England are 9 down with ten to get with Root still batting, do they force Woakes out there to bat one handed?

its over

C O L L A P S E
O
L
L
A
P
S
E

poolapse incoming

What a useless prick.

Unathletic Welsh genes on display again

great knock

kek someone strap woakes arm back on

KRISHNA HAS A HATTRICK ON HIS BIRTHDAY

Big fan of that subgenre of literature in the 19th and early 20th century, where a disparate group of characters are thrown together on a long ship journey.
Though Golding’s Rites of Passage trilogy may be the best example, big fan of the boat sections of Brideshead Revisited, Dickens American Notes and Martin Chuzzlewit, and Henry James story The Patagonia

lol why the fuck have you done that
peak zoomie brain

lads, i don't like the look of this....

that lad should be barred from airports to prevent him ever even being considered from going on a tour

>>150085569
I would
>ynr Nathan Lyon

*shuffles around in my leather chair*
*looks over the top of my broadsheet newspaper.*
Silly boy

>>150085470
There must have been a lot of gay sex involved

business idea: put out woakes and make root bat like a normal fucking cricket player instead of bazzing it away

Couldn't just tap it around and let Root do all the work could you Bethell you useless cunt

>hat trick
fuck off no cricket knowledge blowie

Fuck Smoth, Root is the best batsman.

if its his birthday how could it have been his birthday earlier in the series?

>>150085588
The Confidence Man

What is that Terry Wogan haircut Smith has in his picture?

bizniz idea; - get root on strike for the rest of the match

>>150085588
and berserk :)

jesus christ lads

use your fucking brains

fucking zoomers

we were so poor growing up we'd have moving birthdays

Will Smith be playing at the next Ashes?

mm yes unathletic Welsh genes even though Gareth Bale and that NFL player are the fastest ''''''''''''''white''''''''''''' men ever

>>150085659
and duckegg going for two reverse scoops in a row

>>150085642
was terrence a cricket fan? a true west brit would be a big supporter of the real beautiful game

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxPIEGWzvoQ

>umpire giving info to india to save their reviews

not liking that

Thing is Siraj will become tired after 2 or 3 overs and it’ll get easier again

>>150085633
Good shout.
What’s that Fitzgerald story where the dude cucks his wife on the boat to Europe, and they brush it over then find themselves sat on the train with the guilty party?
Business idea: roaring comic novel set on an ocean liner in 1932 where the English cricket team en route to Australia for the bodyline series fall in with some nazis

>>150085675
he did the same thing for the english bowlers.

how do they get a scoreboard to float in the air like that? drones?

Reckon England are going to want to get these 39 runs before they run out of wickets.

it's crazy how much more likeable india are when it's siraj as the key bowler not chuckrah.

just appealing everything

state

business idea: after every single the umpire raises his index figure to signal one run

Our quick bowlers have really sorry hairlines

>>150085709
source?

GOTTEM

>business idea
>next time siraj appeals and turns around, run a bye while he's distracted

this looks out to me

reckon not

Indians deserve a stern warning for over-appealing

>YEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR
WE WILL HAVE POOVIEW

Business Idea: 1 Appeal per over

>Rod Tucker
Steady on, now

wide

2 biggest and best cricket nations going at it, this is what its all about

need need NEED England to win so i can shit talk the indian cunts at the gym

kek was always missing

they're staring to believe their own fake appeals

just spam 6s now pls

>>150085739
>>150085743
Hope you lads don't stand in any of your village games

>>150085776
don't see south africa here

Have they tried hitting the ball with the bat rather than their leg?

Games got a bit funny.

I reckon they might want to start hitting the ball instead of being hit on the legs.

>>150085778
Even Uganda isn't safe from the Indian menace

>>150085776
>2 best
>india

based Ugandan
sleeping giant of cricket

want England to get the scores level then the umpires insist play is over for the day

haven't seen indians fold like this since that elephant video where it flattens & folds up the indian cunt that's stabbing it

>>150085808
They kicked us out actually, you should try it someday

kek woakes in whites and limbering up

could be kino incoming

>>150085776
Zimbabwe v New Zealand isn’t for a few days

>>150085808
I thought Idi Amin had dealt with them.

Collapse is on, lads

ROOT FFS
lost the story and holy fuck nearly the game

>>150085778
>>150085808
thought they kicked them out and they went to Leicester

>>150085811
He was expecting a giant soft dhal poo but was disappointed to discover that it was in fact a piece of bread

ITS OVER

>>150085817
you were saying?

Giving them false hope, absolutely the most based tactic for maximum SIRS

GONE GOTTEM

Things that sound grim but are actually amazing:

1. Cricket
2. Pickled beetroot
3. Posh wanks

wonder why work is calling me at this hour on a Sunday? better answer

>>150085833
half of them came back to run all the businesses with egos like you wouldnt believe

>>150085833
>nearly the game
game is over, no batting left in the entire country

It’s for India now

um
lads?

work called

Come on are Jamie

poothetic choke

brook did this

>have a whole 5th day to get all the runs you need
>lose all your batsman on the 4th day

Actually pissing this away

>>150085850
I know you post in /rug/ but are you actually black or just some Brit who lives there for some reason, I've never actually known?

>overton
Doesn't get a ton in an over

>>150085841
i know you fellas don't like reddit, but
https://www.reddit.com/r/HardcoreNature/comments/1l1mb44/elephant_crushing_his_owner_to_death/

CAM ON INGERLUND, SCORE SUM FACKIN' RUNS!

Getting them in leg byes

Look at all these casuals shitting their pants

Hosted a séance last week and a spirit told me we win, so nothing to worry about

England will lose this by 2 runs

>>150085883
It will soon be Jover for that ton

noise like they're playing in india
grim

>>150085844
Do you have the canned beetroot or is it all fresh?

They need to stay in for a further 5 or 6 overs and they’ll get the runs as the bowlers adrenaline wears off. This is happening because of the tea break and Brooks being a dumb cunt

>>150085881
im an expat
i dont even like cricket much but i get these rich arrogant indians hassling me when england play so i thought id get some ammo to fuck them off

seems not

leg byes shouldn't count in the 2nd inningses.

>>150085908
No it comes in bottles in pickling juices or you can get fresh. Grew some this summer.

>>150085096
>from the future, England 352 all out

already give you lads the result

just hit six sixes

It's so fucking over

>>150085901
the pressue he must be feeling is well over ton

Sorry, but did England lose already? No, the game goes on. Jamie Overton has a first class century and is no mug with the bat. We’re still in the game, and I will love it, love it if India lose

>>150085925
Closest we have is pickled turnip which is something the lebs bought over.

smells like poo

Will Woakes come out to bat or will he hide away like the coward he is

jeets piping up

>is no mug with the bat
certainly looks like one

>>150085948
wash your arse mate

This is some epic trolling by England

>>150085954
The storyline of the century beckons. He would have to come out

Not a fan of posh wanks, but don’t mind a covered blowie. You still get the same psychological buzz of degrading the prozzie, but don’t have to worry about catching clamydia off the back of her throat and giving it to the wife

HURRY UP I'VE GOT TO GO MAKE DINNER IN A SEC

>>150085946
sounds actually grim

This is fantastic btw how fucking good is test cricket eh

Woakes COWERING, knees knocking

and after all that wank from Vaughan and Cook and Aggers in the tea break they're going to fuck it royally

hate tension, want to win every game by an innings

Overton is going to bottle this, why did they pick him?

Karthik’s fashion segment really swung the momentum of the game

What a suprise this team is weak minded when you have spackers lime Trescothick who had to retire from mental cookery

What kind of an example is that

i specifically requested nothing interesting happen while i was out

>Overton doing the Crawley at Lord's trick
slaready done you coward

>Indians in the crowd shining at the batsman

Shameless pajeets

Is it really even a win if we have to play dire 2 an over tripe?

need woaksey to score the winning runs with one arm

>>150085986
On it's own yes, but you usually only have it with green pickles when you're having chicken & chips or a kebab meal.

heads have gone here

>>150086037
They call themselves the bharat army as well

thievery is a way of life to them just like pikeys

narrative status?

Mature, dominant performance from england. The best in the world

>>150086057
we're fucked moite

If you were Overton/Smith how would you approach this?

>600 up
newie
>>150086060
>>150086060
>>150086060

Can't get behind this England team. Look t the two batsman, with the collars turned up like scruffy school boys. This is England test cricket and you should present yourself as such. If it was up to me i wouldnt even allow them to have facial hair but maybe i am quite extream. India proper gentleman, apart from the that hoodlam with the chain. India win and show the Englishman we're number one.