Thread 150298471

ODI series Aus vs South Africa starts tomorrow.

>Brevis likely to earn ODI debut

This is a noodle arm free general.

this feels slightly racist

YFO

>>150298491
ai slop

There Will Be Cricket

>>150298491
do you think this Dewald Brevis fella looks like the cuzzy Max Key?

are you seeing what im seeing?

>>150298600
sizable adam's apple there, may well be due some transvestigation

Not going to lie, I haven't seen a young player pass the eye test this convincingly in a long time.
Going to need to start finding some memes for Dewald Brevis

>shaheens
More like shaHEEMED BY INDIA LMAO

>>150295623
You think he's the sort of person that listens to Waysis?
*whistles Soul Limbo*

does anyone even

anywhere to watch the shaheens?

>>150298848
Wasn't me, I thought all that banter was shite

But no, never any dream to be a musician - I know I have middling talent and insufficient discipline to improve, so I'd be a campfire warbler at best

>>150298848
Meant to (You) >>150295623

do you reckon you're better at music or cricket?

Why doesn't Bard just simply baz it?

>>150299091
Difficult question
Suppose we'd have to look at it at what percentile of the population I'm in for both
Re cricket, I'd estimate I'm in the top 0.2% of the population (not that difficult because women, children, and old people are all shit, and the vast majority of the population have never played and don't care about cricket)
Re music, it's a much bigger pool of competitors (because women, children, and old people often aren't shit) so I'd probably put myself in the top 5-10% (again, accounting for the fact that a majority still don't play any instrument) but no higher than that
So, after crunching the numbers, the answer is conclusive - cricket is the winner

>>150299149
El Capitano did say I should just do that if that's my natural game
But then I was faced with ANOTHER match situation where that would be irresponsible (needed about 1.6 an over to win, but only had 4 wickets left) - but seeing as I got an early duck trying be responsible, I guess maybe I should have bazzed it
Not particularly good at bazzing spin though, come to realise I'm only actually good against pace, timing feels much easier if it's just on reactions

Am a little annoyed that I had a chat with El Capitano beforehand that I'm shit against spin and only really used to playing as a bazzing opener, and we had both of our regular openers missing, but instead of giving me a chance up at the top of the order he promotes his son (who also bowled 10 overs) to opener and relegated me (who bowled 0 overs) to 7

But it's not much of an excuse, can hardly justify getting promoted up the order with my performances, and can't really call myself a cricketsman if I'm completely unable to face certain types of bowling

Only way I'll get better is if I keep facing those match situations and finding a way to get through it

Been out LBW in 45% of my innings this season and that's just not on
A long hard winter in the nets working on my technique awaits
(Actually fuck that, you have to pay £6 per nets session in winter)

>>150299182
get gud or get wrekt

spin's easy to play the trick is to force yourself into using your feet so change your stance in the crease so to meet the ball you have to move your feet to get to the flight of it

>>150299208
Yeah I'm a bit flat footed against spin due to fear of being stumped, but against off spin that shouldn't happen too often

Might start taking a leg stump guard against offies

Most important solution is to just stop being retarded and trying to play across the line to balls on middle

why do you overstate the guard meme so much
you're not suddenly going to get good by tapping your bat one inch to the right lmao

>>150299262
Would surely help with this particular weakness in my game, because I wouldn't be stepping across my stumps so much

With that guard, if I feel it coming towards my legs then it really will be down leg, or at the very least on leg (giving the umpire an excuse not to give it)

Increases the risk of being bowled, but I think that's a risk I'm willing to take seeing as I've been so dire against off spin with my standard set-up

watching Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind

Not ordering a curry again
That fucking pooey sauce just goes everything and stains everything
God knows what they put in it

Boring twat

the neeky toothpick armed freak seething in his mum's flat again

think you'll find its my name down as registered proprietor on the land registry you couch potato bingo-winged bellend

Goodbye forever

Live Forever

foot work Bard lad, like the pozzie said earlier
start moving slightly forward in the crease so the bowlsbeing fucks the pitch of the delivery. Not much but just so you're meeting it on your terms, not his

>>150299222
if youre going to use your feet then be careful moving to leg, really you'd prefer the ball hitting your body than beating you outside off if youre down the pitch

narrow down the shots you are gonna play against offspin fella. maybe cut off you're within crease, or sweep if you're standing in front

>>150299768
>Off
If†

really strong smell of poo in here

>>150299604
>>150299636
>>150299768
I'd try to rock back in the crease more, but one issue is that with the standard of club cricket pitches it can be very risky playing on the back foot because quite a few balls keep low and shoot through

And with coming out to the pitch of the ball there's the risk of stumpings, but that's still probably the way to go

First and foremost I need to get better at playing off and on drives though - could have picked up low risk runs easily on Saturday if I had those shots in my locker

>specialist fielder / team mascot who's the laughing stock at the teams has delusions of getting good at batting
kek if you can't play any type of offspin, including pie throwing batsmen rolling their arm over, you just might not be that talented

>>150300233
Have a pretty muscular average for the 2s and also top scored in the midweek side's cup final

The 1s are aware of the idea that I'm a moderately talented batsperson, they just haven't seen any first hand evidence of it

stay within your capacity @113

reckon the smell is so strong it's breach his capacity 2bh

it'd*
probably passed out for a second while posting because of sebshit's odour. grim

>>150300113
probably coming from the end of bard's bat ;^)

>hia
Ononooooooop

>>150300580
GONE GOTTEM

I like this format now

since the arrival of t20 tournaments, I don’t feel especially sad when a player is left out of the national team
> at least they’re earning well playing franchise cricket
ya¿ thoughts, fellas¿

>6 ( SIX) RUNS NEEDED
>∞ (INFINITE) BALLS AVAILABLE
https://youtu.be/HLrLjDTkicM

oh, heya Nige my guy .. chabin' fella¿? tis beenaminute innit?¡

...yh

Would be curious to know more about the intersection between caste and cricket appreciation in India
Do Brahmins appreciate Test cricket but turn their nose up at other formats?
Do Shudras and Dalits fill out the stadiums for the IPL?

notice how certain narcissistic neek got over his '''''''ennui'''''' and the so called worst depression of all time after a couple of days. fascinating, almost as if it were a case of a narcissistic neek making every trivial thing about himself even

>>150305306
You don't know the mental pain I've been under because of what happened
It's no wonder I've barely scored a run since (except for the muscular 39 I hit six days ago)

Getting the DLBIA, Slide Away, and Supersonic solos down. To strum my beloved six strings again after many, many moons is revitalising, albeit frustrating at not being the level before the enforced break

DLBIA:

C F C F
C G Am E F G C Am G (repeat as needed)
F Fm C x3
G G#* Am G F G (the G# is 4x0400 or summatʿ

Chorus:
C G Am E F G C Am G
C G Am E F G (no C G Am)
C G Am E F G C Am G

zachy so mentally cooked at bard becoming protag that he has to try to become him lmao

Would be curious to know more about the intersection between class (caste) and cricket appreciation in Shiteland
Do royalty/nobilty appreciate Test cricket but turn their nose up at other formats?
Do working class and council estate filth fill out the stadiums for the The Hundread?

>bnob still noshing off his pimp
Be happy you got your little bit of social interaction for the day fat neek

was probably waiting to get mummy to buy the flat before bringing the shitjeet character back (had to prioritise brownosing the senpai and close the deal)
has been mindbroken since bard looked up the database of patels and singhs he has on his work laptop and made THAT post

>>150305306
Never recovered from The Soul Limbo Affair

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DLkccvRquUX/
>who are you
GONE GOTTEM

>brit cric
not even once

>>150307040
keKkkkkkkk

>>150305860
>now that ive achieved tarq status, let me satirically mock the disadvantages

>>150303460
you just KNOW

>>150301995
post moar chOooooOoons if you're up to it fella x

>>150307040
luff are corbyn ngl
simple as x

NIN more like CRNINGE
sorry but you can't be listening to that edgy shite after 17 desu

>>150307666
>666
was just about to make the same post
not sure how he's taken seriously and how he takes himself so seriously
should be held in the same esteem as linkin park

most of those bands are dogshit
let's not fool ourselves here

watching the cricket

Who is this annoying commentator with the fat voice? I’ve never heard him before.

asterisk forming?

>>150309924
my thoughts exactly
>hazleton

>>150310017
>Donovan Koch
that sounds like such a seppo name

>>150310017
definitely. what's those poms and kiwis doing there

more like Chris Gaffe-fanny iykwim haha

>>150310054
gay-fanny would've been better

I can't edit my post now sorry lad

>>150310063
no but steven gaffenay

>>150310067
this is why we should be using discord

remember listening to the 2004 border gavaskar trophy on abc grandstand as a kid and whenever harsha bhogle said kerry o'keeffe i thought he was saying karaoke

>>150310080
was thinking no but steven fannay iykwim

jesus, how big are these boundaries? that would've been out of the ground at that Darwin t20 venue

Gonna be pissed off if Brevis doesn't bat

>>150310148
for afl it's 5m longer and 6m less wide than the mcg. so for cricket i guess the square boundaries are longer and the straight boundaries are shorter

GONE FUCK OFF

when cricket

great question so glad you asked

>>150310306
now

massive marnie double century on the cards today

why is it telling me to buy local south african

markrrams batting reminds me a lot of Kevin Pietersen

Is that one of the nrl 'tators in the box?

>>150310511
He sounds fat, so maybe. I’m not from NSW so I don’t watch rugby.

for me it's ____

>>150310608
not sure what that is but it looks phallic

>>150309281
they really aren't though
if you have abysmal taste in music then hey man... that's a you problem.

>>150310608
beer

what's this about the gaviscon trophy

sinking a ghost ship

>>150310630
DROPPED THE GAVISGONE GOTTEM

you know i can't grab your ghost ships..

high iq not taking wickets
keep brevis in the sheds nigger bussin fr nocap

oh there's a game on lol

poopees watch australia play more than their own team, living vicariously through whoever >we are playing and hoping desperately >we lose after being bullied by us for decades

I've literally never seen australia play

is breetzke related to nietzsche?

Arv luterully niva seen Ustrulia plee

>>150310778
wish the guy who used to do these would come back
he did them better

>>150310783
chur

They show that Ashley and Martin ad with the Amerimutt a lot.

saffas need to baz it a bit here

>>150307470
He's a dirty little paki lover fuck him i soit on his grave

just dropped a massive soit lads

94 days until the ashes

Did somebody say beveragino?

>>150310896
who will win?

>>150310971
cricket :)

>take the wicket of the bloke hitting a run a ball to let the bloke who hits 4 a ball in
should have just let it hit the deck

crisp stream for ausbros

https://area51hd.shop/sport7/watch/australia-south-africa-aug-19?id=australia-south-africa-aug-19&stream=3

if/when i become prime minister i will ban cgi ads on sporting fields

choking

>>150310978
>doubting bin lid

IF cummins is listed as a bowling allrounder...

THEN head should be listed as a batting allrounder

thanks a lot dewald you fuckwit
told my family you were the next big thing and they actually watched you bat today and get out like a fuckwit

>>150310992
i WILL vote for you

>never smoked, think its completely disgusting
>favourite advertisement is benson & hedges

>never smoked, think its completely disgusting
Kek what a little bitchboy homo

you WILL ingest the toxins

>>150310834
oof... had no idea fella, just got carried away by the gimmick, innit x

SebLORD
e
b
L
O
R
D

New team at toil has a meeting at 09.30 every morning, and they all say good morning to each other when they log on and good night when they log off

All talk to each other about what's going on in their personal lives too

Not a fan of it AT ALL, just let me turn up, work in silence, and then leave

Reminder

>New team at toil has a meeting at 09.30 every morning, and they all say good morning to each other when they log on and good night when they log off
>All talk to each other about what's going on in their personal lives too
wholesome af :)

does office work make you feminine
most office dudes i know are heaps soft and act like women a bit

>>150311102
x

>inglis with the wetback
What did he mean by this?

how are they making Travis Head's awful offbreaks look so elite lol? they think they're bard or something?

>>150311106
bbbBBBAASED

>teams who have wielded the mace
South African
AusGODs
PooPeeland
>teams who have never touched the mace
Bindia
Poongland
Pookistan
Sri Lanka
Zimbabwe
West indies
Afghanistan
Euromongs

>>150311110
On Monday morning everyone has to share what they did on the weekend
Have to irl blogpost about my cricket performances

>>150311112
Was worried that the other fella in the team was a friend of Dorothy because he had quite an effeminate voice but then he started talking about his female partner

>>150311135
not sure if ours counts as it was the first one, the practice one essentially

headdy with the golden touch

fluke. no way that was deliberate.

>>150311110
I've recently become the guy who loves a meeting
Realised I can do far less work if I just sit on calls for 5 hours a day
Just watch MLB and talk shit on a call, its great

>Have to irl blogpost about my cricket performances
yeah I bet you must really hate it mate

No 300 but also no 5fer
Not sure who came out on top here

spicy game on the cards

>>150311176
They're not intelligent enough to understand the deep significance of my ongoing battle against off spin

>we ain't leaving
>leaves the stench of a conquered bindia the next morning

Practiced with a national and international player last night. The former i could hang with as he's coming back from an ACL but the latter was just a different planet, margin for error was miniscule.

don't like to brag but consider myself a bit of an international player iykwim

Do cricket players pretend they have ADHD so they can use stimulants when they bat?

>>150311209
name names or it didn't happen

>sold united grimdom's gold reserves when it was at a historic low price
>effectively put subhunan shitters like bnob into eternal poverty
Gordon Brown will always be a legend

got made fun of by some zoom zoom recruits at the office the other day for carrying a wallet
don't people still carry wallets? is it just a boomer / millennial thing now?

>>150311249
>sold at $256/oz
>currently $2500-$3000/oz
Love u Gordon

bouldering later

zachy and (definitely not) his persona just happen to be posting at the same time yet again lads

>>150311293
He's hoping people have forgotten that he already admitted britjeet was him (albeit after getting caught out numerous times)

just got some kfc

For me it's a certain man's huge muscular arms

is head good?

For me it's Brit"jeet" not showing up at all on /cric/ for any India matches since the world cup but then coincidentally reappearing again with Zachy after Zachy did his disappearance act during the Eng vs Ind series

Zachy has to disappear during the english games because he'd inevitably reveal his complete lack of cricket knowledge

quite like a zinger burger me

*whistles Soul Limbo*

>test cricket
*appears*
>zachary percy rhys bowen
*disappears*

Zachary is the ultimate 'mickster

>>150311326
>the declaration was sound
literal 63 IQ take lmao. he never recovered

bumdering now

>>150311334
i wouldn't be able to name any other kfc burgers

it was sound, they just lost

Mental how a little throwaway blues ditty with a Caribbean twist just mentally disintegrated a certain prostitute and his patreon

>>150311334
Dont really like the zinger
To be honest none of the fast food i have eaten in the last few years tasted particularly good at all

Reckon South Africa probably shouldn't be bowling like it's a t20

>>150311364
you thought about picking up bouldering?

>opening bowler is n. burger
safferbros??

reminder that the "soul limbo" was zachy spamming a vocaroo link (of a simple guitar song he'd taken months to learn) and then getting pissed off that nobody cared enough to ever reply or even acknowledge it

>its still pure kino
shame that netsky got caught up in peewee festy culture and turned away from soul kino to make shit dnb "bangers"

the shitjeet character jumped the shark when he made him a nonce
don't want to interact with someone in the epstein files tyvm

music is gay

Why the fuck is Gus Gould commentating?

>>150311377
I like Skream

>>150311387
Haha nice one mate

floating adverts jib my jammies

having a v

aus may be reclaiming protags of /cric/ if I'm being completely desu
our ODIs don't get this much traffic

think I'd spew if I had a v these days

I enjoy the cgi ads because I know theres other people who dont and thinking about them seething makes me feel good

>>150311385
not un-based
i find that very early dubstep hard to listen to these days though, just a bit too simple for me cultured tastes
has its time and place though

>>150311401
>reclaiming
It's always ben the pozzies mate don't be daft

*mind breaks bnob and the object of his desires*

SURELY you don't want to be conceding 20+ runs in 1 over in an ODI?

>>150311401
mate we're the majority of the traffic when you're playing tests as well
well at least till midnight aussie time

>>150311412
we have the personas. they have none

>>150311449
>personas
you mean 'micks cunt

so true
who do australia even have now besides toycunt and mick

>extremely slow ball that doesn't turn
>professional cricket misses it completely

>>150311456
who the fuck is toycunt
also pretty happy im still flying under the radar

it all goes back to zachy

Labuschagne 8 (21)

>>150311449
We are a hivemind, individual thought is an evolutionary burden.

Marnus 14 (100)

SUBRAYEN
Indians saving choking Saffers

>>150311449
grim that you'd try to claim any of those poosonas to support your argument tbqhwyl

when does steve smith bat?

shit anchor

>>150311281
Peter Costello sold 80% of Australia's gold at pretty much the lowest price it has ever been since the 1970's. It was worth $350 US per oz. It's worth 10 times as much now.

LABUS BACK BAYBEE

It's so FUCKED for Marnie

KESHAAAAAVVV

JAI HANUMAN JAI SHRI RAM JAI SHRI KRISHNA

LabuSHIT

Ooh we have a game

bit late with my oc

THE EAGLE IS DOWN

>>150311501
kek, i fuh wid it

>>150311483
Oz has gold mines right? You'll be ok just from exporting raw materials

wish I had a cool last name like Head

Feeling reassured now that Cam Greens at the crease

>>150311519
call me big sean coz i don fuck wit youuuuuuu

Imagine what Davey WarnGOD would be doing to these absolute pies

Ausbros did we get too cocky?

>>150311519
Stop posting pictures of Cameron Green.

>>150311517
>

>>150311527
don't you ever reply to me again faggot

>>150311106
Reminder

THE ANNIHILATOR OF POZZIES

Are >we really making this cunt look elite. Pathetic.

josh english can bat though, easy dub

>Born: March 04, 1995, Leeds, Yorkshire, England
total English victory

>‘My religion is my strength. Religion and spirituality are my strength in difficult times, South African spinner Keshav Maharaj said. Keshav Maharaj, who wears a copper bracelet on his right hand with ‘Om Namah Shivay’ written on it, wants to visit Ayodhya and have a darshan of Ramlalla.

1. Keshav never shies away from expressing his faith in God on the field. An example of this was seen a few weeks ago during the Indian team’s cricket tour of South Africa. Whenever Keshav came out to bat, he used to ask the DJ to play the song ‘Ram Siyaram’.

>2. During the ODI World Cup held in India in November-December 2023, Keshav had an ‘Om’ sticker on his bat in a match against the Netherlands. After defeating Pakistan in Chennai, he wrote ‘Jay Shri Hanuman’ in his post expressing the joy of victory.

>>150311556
ok jeet

Marsh never looks solid in defence, just a very ugly technique overall tbqhdesu

>>150311556
>3. In an interview he said that I come from a very religious and spiritual family. Religion and spirituality were not imposed on me. I always feel that they give me guidance and perspective in difficult situations.

4. Keshav’s great-grandfather migrated from Sultanpur in Uttar Pradesh to Durban in 1874 to work as a labourer. Keshav says, ‘I celebrate all festivals at home and message everyone that they should have faith in life’.

>5. Keshav was so excited during the consecration ceremony of Ramlalla in Ayodhya that he wrote a post on it. He said that I am an ardent devotee of Shriram, and this day was special. It was special to have something like this happen on such a large scale. It doesn’t happen everywhere in the world and I’m glad it did.

We are getting rolled

>>150311508
Howard gave away all the mineral rights so we get fuck all from them.

pozzies playing this left arm rubbish like bard plays offspin

hmmm

I wouldn't want to be in Cairns either anyway.

>inglis
>can't play spin
Once again proving that the stiff-wristed English can't play spin and Shane Warne was a fraud on par with Donald Fraudman

>220+ left
>Marsh the only recognised batsman
lel you seem to be in some trouble here lads

Is basedjeet back?

le sweeps and gets out man

>>150311579
Hardie has a highest FC score of 174*

Cairns is like the best place in Australia

got a bit of a hardie myself looking at this score haha
is 75/5 good?

smells in here lads

What native tribe is Maharaj from?

>Saffers before Keshav
Chokers who never reached a final
>Saffers since Keshav
WTC champions and T20WC finalists

Power of Sanatan Dharma.

think it might be mathematically impossible for even South Chokefrica to lose from here desu

>>150311567
Dunno the details but i thought Oz economy rides high on importing coal and whatnot to China and India

>no smacky
it was over before it began

Hardie is not an international cricketer

game doesn't even matter, we just fucking smoked the saffas at rugby which is more important that ODIs lol

chuckaraj

Keshav Maharaj is the man we all aspire to be

this is grim stuff. couldn't even get a story win
what's our cope ausbros?

>>150311569
I do bat a bit like Australians desu
Just low IQ stand and deliver slogging but immediately caught out against anything slightly technical

saffa "bowlers"

>>150311643
>asterisk forms

>>150311631
avoided a < 100 all out

Subrayan and Maharaj two classic South African names.

Ngidi probably been the pick of the bowlers here

>this is memeraj's first 5 for
nice one pozzies making this shitter look decent lol

*ahem*
chuckaraj

Glenn McChucker fanclub seething lol

>>150311643
>>150311654
maharaj is fine. the offie is a big time chucker though

>>150311106
He worships this monkey?

wait do we win this?

>>150311789
lolno

>burger giving 40+ runs in 4 overs of an ODI
and this is why we'll always be a YFO general

i think we win this

>>150311794
south africa's best 2 bowlers on this pitch have already bowled 18 of their 20 overs, they have resorted to bowling part time spinners

>>150311789
>we
didn't know you were in the team mate

Gus is a pretty kino commentator actually

>>150311843
He means we as in Australia.

I can't stand this cunt I've never heard before on the commentary. He sounds like he should be doing darts or rugby league or some bogan shit.

>>150311844
Which one is Gus?

>ellis has played 248 high tier matches
>195 of them are T20

where's hotspot

>>150311855
He sounds obese. Where did he even come from? I’ve watched cricket for 30 years
and have never heard of him.

Cameron Green man of the match.

If Marsh does a Maxwell Aus could still win this

>>150311860
bogan sounding fella

50 in a win > 100 in a loss

>>150311911
I thought his name was Dan. Who is he?

>>150311946
Phil "Gus" Gould

>>150311843
have some respect, i just got out mate

just saw the score and coming to laugh at pozzgaylia with anotha failure
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>150311953
Oh, so he’s some rugby fag. No wonder he sounds fat and retarded.

>>150311961
don't you have bilateral trophies to be not holding?

Cricket in Australia is so soulless compared to cricket in England

Its Dan Ginnane, he doesnt know much about cricket

Dead thread

>>150311966
t. increasingly nervous about losing the ashes man

bard's bf actually has quite a good bowling record tbf. didn't think he averaged under 30

>>150312026
England couldn’t beat India at home, how will they win here when we demolished a stronger Indian team here last summer.

crazy that we are already playing cricket in the southern hemisphere
global warming man

How does this loss affect Australia's chances in the Ashes?

>lost by double digits
Won the story lads

I'm going to predict a boring 4-1 Ashes series

Having reflected on the issue I'm left with no option but to conclude that Kashmir is rightful Pakistani clay

>>150312073
Are they the ones that blew up that plane in Canada?

>>150312080
No, that was the Khalistani Sikhs, whereas these Kashmiris are Muzzies
Remember that just because Sikhs looks nice and fluffy they're not always good people

>>150312090
I would trust anyone with black eyes.

Kashmir? Good song

>>150312090
Mad that one of the perps got released in 2017 and is now living a normal life
Kill 329 people (including entire families) with bombs and it's still not enough to get a life sentence
Don't think it's particularly rorkeish to suggest that those guilty of premeditated murder should rot behind bars until their dying breath

>>150312039
they never have a response to this

>>150312039
Australia's batting is absolutely dire at the moment but, then again, so is England's bowling
And England's batting, though the best in the world, will crumble under the pressure of an away Ashes series against Australia's fearsome bowling attack (also the best in the world)
It'll finish 3-1 Australia

>>150312123
It will be 4-0 with a rain affected draw. England’s only got Duckett and Root who can bat, but Root struggles both in Australia and against good attacks.

the young jeet of today apparently hates Sikhs (as well as Muslims) so it's always funny to see their cricket peem being captained and carried by these two groups

Thinking about the future of Australian cricket

When Smith retires, they'll also lose Khawaja and Starc around the same time and will completely collapse. No stand out talents in Shield like they used to have

>>150312104
Based post. Also once again proving that no English musician has ever made good music without Indian influence

the harmonic minor scale has nothing to do with india

>>150312152
Khawaja is more of a hindrance nowadays. His absence won’t hurt.

>>150312166
purcell copping it

no surprises to see bard tuning in for reddit the fixture: ODI edition

>boulderer
>using reddit as an insult
pick one and only one

>>150311609
kek
lad next to him knew he wasn't going to stop once he got started

CUZ MY FRIEND SAYS HE'LL TAKE YOU HOME
HE SITS IN THE CORNER ALL ALONE

>>150312337
no surprises also being a piss easy song from the great british songbook 90's EDITION (CD included)

>>150312337
In what way is Australia vs SA "reddit the fixture"? Wasn't England vs NZ previously "reddit the fixture"? Which fixtures wouldn't be "reddit the fixture"?

>>150312575
read the last two words of the post

Aus vs SA 99 semi is the best ODI ever, the opposite of reddit: the fixture

>>150312585
So there's one specific "reddit the fixture" for ODIs (Australia vs SA) and one specific "reddit the fixture" for Test matches (England vs NZ)? How have you arrived at the conclusion that these are "reddit the fixture"? Is it (dare I say it) simply the ones you've noted that I've been posted in?

well my source (which you probably can't afford) says the opposite.

>>150312371
so true
bard is protag: the poster
hasbeenchy b is reddit: the poster

>>150312640
yes

walking to bouldering

>proudly sharing how you're still doing the crossfit of gen z
simply couldn't (ever) be me

Thinking about Fender Ultra Luxe Vintage

notice zachy always backs down like a little bitch when bard challenges him lmao. doesn't have the brains to take him on

went to the uni of life
while bard has a phd and almost got into oxford
it's a non-contest, same reason certain man keeps avoiding the boxing match

>almost got into oxford
that's in no way true and you know it bnob. he got rejected about 50 times so bombarded them with emails like some obsessed stalker when they rightfully decided to ignore the freak. of course your precious '''''protag''''' wouldn't dare trying this approach if phone calls were the only means of communication

>i sparred and KO'd Dillian Whyte don't you know
>runs away from every single /cric/ challenge
>never posted another voc after The Soul Limbo Affair
>bnob still noshing him off
More tragic combo than Thorpey and a train

crick it?

>>150313117
Would easily have got into Oxford as an MSc or non-funded PhD desu (neither is that difficult for someone with a decent first degree and a willingness to pay)

>>150313192
I interviewed for a paid research post, that's pretty close
And they bloke they ultimately went with STILL hasn't released any research papers from the project after almost 2 years (I'd have had at least 4 by now, probably 7)

>>150313205
Never KO'd Big Dil, just sparred with him

Deano manager is worrying that the daily meetings are a bit flat now and has asked us for suggestions
Colleagues have suggested we can put a GIF in the chat to represent how we're feeling each day and also insist that people have their cameras on during the meeting
Kill me NOW (just let me do my work in peace you extraverted fucks)

seems like a good gimmick that
remember to repost your gif daily to cric so we also know your mood :^)

Will be leaving the meeting chat blank and my camera off as protest
Don't actually mind turning mine on most of the time, but shan't be forced to do it just so some Deanos can have a more upbeat meeting each and every bastard morning
Feel like I've gone to work in a call centre ffs

*logs a v6 on griptonite*

>>150313046
there was nothing to argue about, a simple 'yes' sufficed. No idea what you are on about brown noser of bard
australia vs South Africa is indeed reddit: the ODI fixture

>>150314082
sufficed to prove you're a smoothbrained retard

how was the chase tonight fatty?

sheppys craft perry designer cider

bouldering with my labubu

>climbing is primal because people had to climb things at points
great argument from one of /cric/'s great minds

climbing is climbing, whether it's outdoors or indoors. Your body seriously can't tell the difference
crossfit on the other hand is a dead dire fad for fat neeks who were too lazy to load a barbell

>our ancestors did it
lmao don't think his welsh great great great grandpa was doing anything like that
actually reckon zachy could somehow be related to a t-rex if you go back far enough - tiny arms, massive forehead

>griptonite
do they really? lmao
even their apps (assuming that's what it is) are pure unadulterated reddit

might have a little griptonite myself haha

Beetlebum mostly figured out bar some of the slide bits. Interestingly it has a similar F Fm C segment as Oasis' DLBIA maybe that's a little songwriting joke/nod to Noely G

nothing wrong with climbing and don’t concern myself with whatever zoomers think is cool. There was a climbing place near where I went to school and a few of the lads used to go there for a bit of fun and exercise and as far as I know none of those fellows turned out gay

the direish lad going in to bat for zachy again. grim stuff

>Would easily have got into Oxford
ahahaha then why didn't you? spoken like a true narcisstic neek

GOTTEM

Just like i've gotten down the chords for Beetlebum. That Bb just before the Am oh yeh babyy

>>150319030
queem QUEEM haaa

>>150319078
The most enigmatic poster of /cric/

you rang?

x

>>150317454
a cross fitter would probably snap you in half fella

Blur - No Distance Left To Run

That song is on repeat. What a track one of of not their finest

Think Damon's voice might fit with my vocal "range" might have to have a crack. Liam G is too high up too FOOKING MEGA for my dulcet tones AS U WERE X

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DNVZFKdRrsh/
fresh off the press

schorchies

>>150318524
lame listless reddit song
right up your street

we shouldnt play both Carey and English in the second ODI, drop one and bring in Mitch Owen for some middle order batting and an extra bowling option

>>150318874
At the time I thought doing sport psychology (not offered by Oxford, and I already went to the best university for it) would be a better career path, whoops

And I didn't actually want to do a PhD, I just happened to find one (with a shit university) that paid me a £30-33k salary while I studied, so I thought that would be better than a regular job (and it's definitely better than paying to do a DPhil at Oxbridge while earning nowt)

Bard > sacky b

>>150324249
It's not a competition (but if it was, I'd win)
Appreciate your support x

>>150319555
Would love to hear you take this on Zachariah x

what is the end goal of cricketing?

>>150324294
A transcendent state in which there is neither suffering, desire, nor sense of self, and the subject is released from the effects of karma and the cycle of death and rebirth

They did the "share a GIF to represent how you're feeling" gimmick at the stand-up this morning but I refused to participate

Expecting a disciplinary from deano manager now

The feminisation of the office environment has been a disaster for productivity
Why can't we simply act as adults?
Geoffrey Boycott would be turning in his grave if he were dead

Think I'm particularly irate of late because I'm having to work with Indian tech support and they're fucking useless

Not sure why even the civil service has been infected with the Indianisation of tech roles seeing as our pay framework means we have to pay them the same rate as UK staff

I dream of an independent Kashmir
I dream of an independent Khalistan
I dream of an independent Bengal
I dream of an independent Kerala

>few blokes try to bring a bit of fun to make it not feel like work for a brief moment or two
>bard wants to be le miserable 4chan man and bring the whole team down
>will later complain about how toil is inhumane and nobody does anything to make it more fun
>repeat

nothing feminine about my office (when i work from home)

>>150324414
>but I refused to participate
how? wasn't that really awkward
so they just went 'and what about yours bard?' and you said 'I-I would rather not participate' (or did you use delaying tactics and say you don't have one today?)

Boring twat

>>150324449
The notion that toil needs to be "fun" is feminine nonsense

>>150324473
They just said for everybody to do it at the start of the meeting and I didn't bother
Would have been more tricky if they asked us to do it one by one

post this for the bants

Just booked tickets to another gig gonna be cool vibes this one all abouy the.music innit AS U WERE X

>>150324507
Would rather out myself as a poof* than a 4chan user desu

*This is just an example, I'm NOT gay (Bible doesn't bloody allow it)

have seen bard repeatedly imply he'd be one of the gays if religion allowed it
makes you think does it not

Thinking about this gimmick of renting a tuk tuk and self-driving through south India but I'm not sure if it's a good idea or not

I learnt a few years ago that workplaces that preach fun and culture are the ones you need to worry most about
Having your own friends at work is very different and should be encouraged.
"Drinks at 4pm?" Nah rather just go home innit

>>150324520
That is NOT what I'm implying

you don't need to always capitalise GIF you neek

are there any words you should always capitalise?

Notice how /cric/ talks big but were to scared to even have a Goals kickabout as it would ruthlessly expose their lack of sporting ability

>>150324558
GONE GOTTEM

Thinking about the 90s music scene

I am quite hungry now. Going to have a rummage around the kitchen see what i can ruster up. Actually i've just realised i have some bread, eggs and a ripe avocado so will slap that on some toast with a healthy drizzle of hababero sauce as my pallette is accustomed to spicy flavours

I've eaten all the bananas so may have a sliced orange as accompaniment. If after this my appetite isn't satiated then i may heat up a bowl of oats and milk, then mix in some blueberries.

May also have a small glass of garam chai and some strawberry flavoured kaju katri

i searched for best 90s music song and this was the first result
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyKpNBAv1Bw
honestly, kind of a banger

>>150324637
it's a shit cover unfortunately

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRRXseBJljs

the 'iti

everything i think is 90s music turns out to be early 2000s

peak
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wsioatt9Wms

>>150324637
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpBFOJ3R0M4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NI6aOFI7hms


Oasis has reignited a 90s nostalgia tsunami within

wtf that songs by the Cardigans? I always just assumed it was No Doubt

>>150324684
why would you make such a stupid assumption

'99
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5hjlsc-70c

cardigans - gran turismo is a great album

Whilst the eggs are cooking it's time to light the agarbathi and diyo (incense stick and flame to thieving westerners) and give my offerings and prayers to our deities and overseers
>>150324684
Lovefool: Aminor for the verses and Amajor for the chorus iirc. Have another
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gY2s4hJ8kuA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUE4oDunYkc

>>150324723
Fooking MEGA album might have to give it a spin like i'll spin certain man's head with my check hook AS U WERE X

wtf even the The Streets is early 2000s

nobody thinks of The Streets as 90s mate lmao

I did. twas just 6 when the century turned so im having a bit of a moment right now where im realising my entire musical timeline is being compressed into a period that clearly starts at 2000

Wu-Tang Clan has aged really badly
doesn't hold up listening to it now

sure, why not

>>150324793
most rap has aged terribly

CORRRRRRR does anyone else really like TITS?

more undesputed 90s sounds

>>150325339
well youre in the right place fella

is it breasts or a PG curse word?

for me its a torta's tatas

what a fucking TIT!
yeah I like him too.

KEK fucking state of eurocucks and united cuckdom

>>150325480
who is this? slipknot?

glass houses mate
he completed mogged and humiliated poodia with tariffs and they're still boiling about it. even been seeing them sucking up to china online in desperation (lmao no pride at all)

>noooo you can't blow up our 2nd favourite paki bootlicker's US F-16 jets and terror camps we sponsor
Complete opposite you monglander you just showed that united cuckdom has no other option except to suck off USA

>Ashes 05
>Ashes 10-11
>WC 2019
the big 3

>>150325900
Anything in our lifetimes mate?

>>150325809
Can you keep it cricket related please mate? Don't want to have to report your posts, but it's getting a little out of hand. Consider this your first and final warning

>>150325480
thumbnail looks like one of those dogs playing card games paintings. haha.

>>150325900
saw the neighbours grandpa wearing a World cup 19 shirt the other day

bed looms
won't be dreaming about cricket

US-UK relations

A prostitute country more concerned about virtue signalling and paying for illegals to have playstations than paying for national security trying to give gyaan on a developing countries' aspirations. Hilarious

not sure i ever came across any nigga more in need of a gf than zachy b

>>150326258
He's more of a bf sort of guy (happiest time in his life was when he used to frequent the notorious gay club Theatron in Bogota, with all the gay-for-pay Latinos they have over there)

>>150326117
crisp the donedred customer

bnob would know about having a bf (pimp)

>frequent the notorious gay club Theatron in Bogota, with all the gay-for-pay Latinos they have over there
>vs going whitewater rafting and hand gliding (which you could do almost anywhere else) instead of exploring the jungles, mountains etc
mad how zachy's activities were somehow the less gay of the two here

>Adam Zampa reprimanded for using obscene language
>It was Zampa's first breach of the ICC's code of conduct in a 24-month period
naughty naughty (thoughbeit Kohli was still allowed to say bhenchod 80 times per game)

Theatron is too big to be truly gay

>>150326551
I think we covered this already less than a week
In addition to my high-octane testosterone-fuelled rafting and hang-gliding adventures, I also spent quite a bit of time in the mountains and jungles
So not entirely sure what point you're trying to make

just got my haircut by a white man

good haircut on first inspection
worth paying a bit more for deano perhaps

Begrudgingly get a £10 haircut every 4-5 months
Only poofs go more often than that or spend more

seasidemark was right about the sheppys craft perry

designer cider

working from home tomorrow
if I did it all the time there would be no novelty

Peewees continuing to disgrace themselves in the hundread

nothing you do in the hundred matters

Sucking tea
Takes an incredible amount of willpower when you have a fridge stocked full of designer ciders

the performative male strikes again

???

saw the welsh dire were chasing a poothetically low total earlier. wonder how they got on. reckon even the ol toothpick / unathletic genetics wouldn't be a big enough handicap this time, having a look now

you won't believe it lads....

I don't believe it

not cricket
not a sport

Welsh Dire bottom of the Donedred table no wonder certain man has to cope about it not being cricket

obviously isn't cricket you fat geek

Certain Welsh man challenged you all to a game of footy in Perivale and all you cowardly fat English neeks chickened out

>>150328043
no but steven centuray

who would you rather have in your team
cooper connolly or jacob bethell

>Prenelan Subrayen reported for suspect action
meanwhile blatant throwers from certain team (like bumrash0 have been getting a free pass for 10 years. make you think

>>150332601
maharaj when? >>150311643

>>150311643
>maharaj
>saffa

>>150324252
simply like your posts more often than I like sacky's (never) if I'm honest lad

>>150333593
be respectful to saffaraj

Emperors New Groove is kinda underrated as a kids movie

The gentleman's game dying is truly a sign of our times.

the only solution is to ban offspin

>>150335998
offspin is the most pure form of bowling

morning di lids

Lol

>>150336372
you better import more jeets to build more house to fix the housing crisis
oops i just started a never ending cycle of white genocide and ever increasing rental prices which totally wasn't deliberate

>>150336425
I just recently got back into the anti-migrant brits section of instagram, fuck me shits bad there

they're adding street cricket to the Xtreme games

>£1350 per month for a shoe box you have to furnish yourself
Phwoar what deal

>>150336742
carpark alones worth 200 quid a month innit

>>150336744
GONE GOTTEM
plus they had a chucker in their side at the time

who?

bouldering later

they call him the gen y who loves the x-fit of gen z

dire take

might need to start calling him zxchy

Think I'm almost there with my India/Nepal itinerary
There's some pretty exciting stuff in there
It's almost a work of complete perfection

*goes brown water rafting*

found somewhere for you to stay mate x

https://www.booking.com/hotel/in/o-neek-palace.en-gb.html

>itinerary
finally going home britjeet?

>>150336953
No adventure sports on the itinerary this time
Just surviving in that dump will be adventure enough

>>150337016
Thanks mate but I don't think I'll be travelling to Ahmedabad
No room for it in the itinerary
Can't even fit Jodhpur, Udaipur, or Jaisalmer in it at the moment, but I'll see what I can do

>>150337041
Zachy is terrified to travel further than Yorkshire these days and willn't be going to India any time soon

lucky me

>>150336953
this was really good btw

might go work from the cafe opposite like a proper laptop thumbing bellend

reminder that the character 'bard' and his exploits are a complete fiction. evidence of this fact is too innumerate to expand upon

Agreed to play a friendly match last night but I said I'd bat 11 so that some of the kids / no-hopers could have a go ahead of me, and I also didn't bowl, so it was a bit of a waste of 3 hours really

>>150337179
Is this a reference to the Nietzschean contention that every profound spirit needs a mask in order to navigate the deep and complex tensions between the inner life and the external world?

>>150337179
based bard never went to South America conspiracy theorist

bard be like 'hmmm, yeah, think I'd really really like to smell loads of shit on my next holiday'
midlife crisis I reckon

>>150337179
It's bnob's imaginary alter ego except both are still terrifyingly mundane and uninteresting. Bore Club.

will always be that the most self-aggrandising, fart sniffing prick who thinks every aspect of his existence is a triumph, apparently didn't attend his PhD ceremony, or even know what a phd bonnet was. laughable.

>>150337263
1) How can I be all that if I don't exist?

2) Literally no point in paying to attend a covid-era PhD ceremony from a bad university with bad supervisors (even though I did end up with a pretty muscular list of publications and h-index, no thanks to them)

much like captain ahab, poorly written fictional character do exist

I'll admit that the aspect of my existence where I've got 3 (three) ducks in four (4) innings for the 1s is certainly NOT a triumph

And is in fact quite embarrassing seeing as the bowling is bang average

Just another case of intense pommie mental weakness

NN with some dire reddit spacing

le gets over the deepest darkest ennui ever heard of after 2 days man

what do civil servants talk about related to their work anyway? struggling to see how a daily stand up is justified desu

Who gives a fuck, all that matters is a unified Waysis and an Undivided India

>>150337474
If you had to experience what I've experienced in the last month you'd be completely crushed
Fortunately I'm a stronger man, in terms of mental fortitude

>>150337497
They moved me to an ops role
Tickets come in, tickets go out
Raise anything that might be blocking progress on clearing said tickets
Dreary stuff

Have reached the conclusion that Johnny Flynn and Laura Marking are the best English folk artists or the post-Nick Drake era

A troubling conclusion as they're both ultra tarqs who know little of the struggles of the common man, which is surely what all good folk music must be based on

*Laura Marling

anymen in?

Confidence is a preference for the habitual voyeur of what is known as (parklife)
And morning soup can be avoided if you take a route straight through what is known as (parklife)
John's got brewers droop, he gets intimidated by the dirty pigeons
They love a bit of it (parklife)
Who's that gut lord marching? You should cut down on your porklife mate, get some exercise

All the people
So many people
And they all go hand in hand
Hand in hand through their parklife, know what I mean?

I get up when I want except on Wednesdays when I get rudely awakened by the dustmen (Parklife)
I put my trousers on, have a cup of tea and I think about leaving the house (parklife)
I feed the pigeons, I sometimes feed the sparrows too
It gives me a sense of enormous wellbeing (parklife) and then I'm happy for the rest of the day
Safe in the knowledge there will always be a bit of my heart devoted to it

All the people
So many people
And they all go hand in hand
Hand in hand through their parklife

mad how there was ever a debate about blur versus oasis

more musicality in the worst songs of parklife than in the entire oasis discography

I met him in a crowded room
Where people go to drink away their gloom
He sat me down and so began
The story of a charmless man

Educated the expensive way
He knows his claret from his Beaujolais
I think he'd like to have been Ronnie Kray
But then nature didn't make him that way

He went (na, na, na, na, na, na)
(Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na)

He thinks his educated airs
Those family shares will protect him
That we'll respect him
He moves in circles of friends
Who just pretend that they like him
He does the same to them
And when you put it all together
There's the model of a charmless man

(Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na)
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na

He knows the swingers and their cabaret
Says he can get in anywhere for free
I began to go a little cross-eyed
And from this charmless man I just had to hide

He went (na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na)
(Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na)

He talks at speed, he gets nose bleeds
He doesn't see his days are tumbling
Down upon him
Yes, he tries so hard to please
He's just so keen for you to listen
But no one's listening
And when you put it all together
There's the model of a charmless man

He thinks his educated airs
Those family shares will protect him
That you'll respect him

And yet he tries so hard to please
He's just so keen for you to listen
But no one's listening
And when you put it all together
There's the model of a charmless man

britpop
james bond
chicken tikka masala

shitjeet
>bloody bhenchod britishers took everything I hate the biritsh sirs and madams so much they redeemed my country and now I hope they all die bloody bhenchod bastards
also shitjeet
>*be's a basic bitch 90s britpop fan*
ETERNALLY COLONISED

you are all evil

>>150337685
Obviously. Both are great. Combine the bands
>drums
Alan White
>bass
Alex James
>rhythm guitar
Coxon
>lead guitar
Noely G
>vocals
Liam G
>songwriting
Damon+Noel

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lM7H0ooV_o8

We even do br*tpop better than the insufferable engl*sh

oasis are not good lmao
they never existed and the world is no different.

what happened to bands such as boris melt banana midori mass of the fermenting dregs guitar wolf boredoms
is japan dare I say it entirely soulless and no longer understanding of the human condition?

or the british isles for that matter just a whole lot of bad the fall knockoffs
caroline 2 is my aoty so far but

just saw nme gave it 5 stars my aoty is the new destroyer record actually

i shudder to think of the bullying poor meek graham coxon in that made up band

>>150337924
objectively not true because every yank loves wonderwall

>>150337924
more like go-away-sis iykwim haha

working from home is boring

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gElmq_WJUeQ
>TLDW: no autotune shite live and Liam is virtually pitch perfect
Blur would be better with Liam as lead singer. Liam has an amazing voice for rock, try sing like him and you'll see how hard it is

>>150337977
Very unique guitarist but fuck me Blur are more dysfunctional than even Waysis

still sometimes think about how zachy dedicated a huge part of his persona towards bullying bard for being a 'laptop thumber' and how it was later revealed he does the exact same thing - but part-time because he's living off his trust fund

>>150338009
yea I enjoy the comfy aspect of it, but the days do feel longer when I wfh

you've got an amazing mouth for cock you bellend

we are in fact in here >>150338070

>vocals
biggest meme. """good""" singers exist in their hundreds of thousands and none of them have ever been in a group worth caring about