Thread 150663561

Please join me in watching my Houston Texans take on the Los Angeles Rams. Stroud: based and Christpilled. Stafford: possibly dead. For probably the only game of the season, the roster is not dead. I've missed you bros, it's good to be back.

Also, for those of you Texie bros who know me, I met a Portuguese qt3.14 and now we're engaged. Passport bros were right kek.

Kickoff in 25 bings. Get in here.

>>150663561 (OP)
Also there's only like one bar in the country that shows NFL. Feels bad man

>>150663561 (OP)
Reporting in, LETS FUCKING GOOOOO!!!!!!

My Texans and Astros are winning today

>>150663992
My nigga. Good to see you again, hope things are going good for you

>>150664140
They could be better, but at least we have the Texans playing today. Is it weird seeing a different flag next to ya name? Hows Portugal treating you?

Streaming for anons

gg/eGA3Y2HmZ8

It’s texie season back, welcome back frens

>>150664589
It's been very nice. Good food, not as fuckin hot as Houston, cheap beer, can't ask for much more with a beautiful girl

>>150664711
The comfiest team on the planet with the comfiest frens

my rasm got this

At least I have the Texans so I don’t have to watch Framber meltdown again

>>150664952
Based, thats awesome.

CAMON TEXIES SCORE SUM TOUCHDOWNS

Reffies already in front

Starting the game off just fantastic…

>first play
>FLAG
yep that's my Texies

CAMON TEXIE DEFENSE

>>150665696
SCORE SUM FUCKING SAXES

It's /ouryear/ Ramily

>>150665661
kek. Thought they'd move forward a little more without tunsil

>>150665144
Don't worry, there will be plenty of that in the playoffs

I've been a fan of My Texies since 2010 so I've yet to see them win against the Rasm. In 2013, it was hard watching that mook Bradford stroll down the field. In '17, I was painful seeing Savage do jack shit after Watson go down. In '21, it was just hard watching that entire season. Mills couldn't do shit until the 4th but game was already over by then.

Stingly breaks his hip out for the season...

>Stingley ded
fuck its begun already

I'm not feeling so comfy rn bros..

NOOOOO NOT STING NOOOOO

Our D is hitting hard Ill give them that BUT STING IS BACK!!!!!! Must have been a stinger (no pun intended)

Sting alive

Staff kinda looks off today

I hate being a Texans fan

>>150666233
IT'S STIIIIIIIIING

>>150666361
Can someone make a pepe with stings face paint but have the paint match texans colors? Or post one an Ill edit the colors

>>150666349
unc is like 50 years old

Are there really more Texies fans on /sp/ than recent champion Rams?

>>150666488
This is the Texan comfy thread, what you expect?

>>150666488
The Dodgers game just ended so I think they're gonna come late

>>150666560
I mean it's not like they're gonna go discuss the game in another thread....

the new FOX and CBS scorebugs suck

>>150666451
If only I had elite mspaint skills

>>150666349
It's a body double, Stafford is actually dead

Ill edit this into sting later
>>150666603
They might, other than national games, out Texan threads move slow and comfy

>>150666603
Texies threads are legendary for their comfiness. Even in the playoffs

my texies on the board

PINE APPLE!!!!

Damn, without Mixon we ain't got no run.

Pineapple x1

>3rd down
>stroud hits schultz in the hands
>drops it
many such cases

>>150666836
Galveston looks like THAT?

>>150666858
One inch closer inside and that's a completed pass

Nice return however

>>150666917
Damn, you're like 15 seconds ahead of me. I'm streaming on Paramount+ so that's probably why.

Texans are getting destroyed by these stupid LA refs

Yeah we drew first blood in more ways than one

pop pop pop pop
Texans gonna injure everyone, especially themselves.

Puka ded
coconut on coconut violence

Damn, my Texies have drawn blood

>Puka down
Well fuck

>>150667113
Cue The Shield punishing Houston

LETS GO CHARGERS and by affiliation RAMS

How is every stream such dogshit?

>>150667136
GODDAMMIT

>>150667178
it's on CBS

Reffies are absolutely killing it today

Man, our Texies looking like straight up BVLLS out there

How is that not grounding?

A flag? In favor of the Texies? Inconceivable!

>>150667178
My nigga, if even I can watch the game, you have no excuse

>>150667226
lol >we will be a hospital by week 10

That hit on Puka should've been an automatic 1st

>>150667226
Bulls on parade

If Staff keeps showing age and if Puka's out long man

>>150667217
I got Sunday Ticket but they blackout the local games as usual. Amazon needs to hurry their ass with that digital antenna.

>>150667260
lol how

>>150667067
Refs not happy with the Texans after the team made normies notice the league's shenanigans during the playoffs

Staffy is cooked. Put in Stetson Bennett.

>>150667277
It was

SACKED

Nice sack BY

>OLine moment
now thats what I call Texans football

>>150667311
I don't know why the league is so against Houston being good. It's only like the 3rd or 4th biggest market in the country. Probably just cowbutt loyalty.

Bro did Puca have his eyelashes done? Dudes do that?

>screen pass on 3rd and long
I thought we got rid of Jihad Bobby

>3rd and long
>screen
Some Texies things never change

>>150667411
Punishment for Bud Adams moving the team

>>150667450
Don't summon the JD Vance poster

Stingley pick 6 pl0x

Rams keep dropping the ball.

>>150667578
Stafford isn't throwing the ball well

BAD SNAP

Rams what the fuck are you doing?

WAJ first sack of the season in the books

i thought the superbowl hangover was supposed to be over already

now if only my Texans can start taking advantage of this shit team

God NFC football is garbage

>ELITE defense
>Mediocre offense
Still not used to this Texie bros, even during peak JJ years the D wasn't thus suffocating

>>150667686
>toxins completing drives without pineapple handicap when a great opportunity arises

Stop shilling the VMAs. Music has been dead since 2011.

OH MY GOD A FIRST DOWN RUN

>>150667833
how else will we be shoved k-pop ft taylor swift?

>>150667815
>random stros slander in texans thread
At least we didn’t lose a game with a no-hitter 8.2 innings in

>>150667877
Bobby big time is truly dead

This team is gonna average 20 rushing plays a game and 50 yards.

>>150667932
I got one for them too just in case

What's up with this offense, Ramily
How long can defense hold up

>>150667932
it wasn't random I was just checking what the digits post was and it ended up being a doyers post lol

>3rd and long screen sack bait
Bobby still living rent free in the houston oline

Stroud still getting hounded like he's David Carr in 2005.

>stroud already sacked twice
>redzonexans are so back (negative)
>pineapple already racking up FGs
Yep, it’s football season

>>150668094
Most of Carr’s sacks were on him.

>>150666451
Try this that I started on

Boring ass game either blow us out or get picked by our corners fuck this stalling shit

RUN THE FUCKING BALL

Pitre fucking sucks in coverage.

Texans just look exactly the same as last year. Great defense. No offense

>>150668147
kek saved

THERE YA GO RAMS!

It’s weird to say that I have genuine hope for all 3 of the big 3 sports in our city

>>150664952
she’s just using you for happiness.

Finally driving

>>150668261
Are the rockets good?

>>150668207
In other news, the sky is blue and the grass is green

>>150668216
I'm hoping we can at least reach 2000 Ravens level where no matter how bad the offense is the D wins the game.

Pitre heemed on a run play.

>>150668147
I updated the number but I caught up playing runescape so Ill get to it later, but thats works

>>150668322
Very, they have one of the highest chances in the nba to win the championship this season

>>150668386
Prepare to be disappointed.

Patch him up dammit

>>150668496
I always am

GIVE IT TO WILLIAMS AGAIN

Nacua being pulled for ANAL BLEEDING

Kyren pls

Rams suck, tank this year along with ATL and completely rebuild

CAMON DEFENSE HOLD EM

>>150668596
We traded Watson a few years ago.

damn

>>150668608
FUCK YEAH!

>>150668261
Astros winning the AL West because they suck the least does not inspire confidence.

KYREN TD
WE ARE SO BACK

>>150668666
It's difficult sport when you're not cheating, faggot.

The score is 6 7.... heehee

>>150668686
It’s a very Texans thing to do to resign poor performers with injury history.

>>150668698
why is 6 (texans) afraid of 7 (rams)

>>150668666
Playoff stros are a thing. If they can right the ship and make it in, don’t sleep on them too much

Hopefully that's the only tuddie the D gives up today

>>150668696
>Dodgers fan
>complains about cheating
KWAB

>>150668666
I can't figure out who has a worse offense. Astros or texans...

>>150668696
2022 was legit, faggot.

What the fuck is zone coverage?

>schultz
this fucking guy man

STOP FUCKING DROPPING THE BALL

FUCK

>>150668807
The last good TE we had was Owen Daniels

Where the fuck was the damn spy?!

>>150668698
HOLY KEK

Defense decides to finally shit the bed I see

>>150668886
Ceej outran him

Stroud is pretty fast. He should run a tiny bit more often.

1st half flew by. PINEAPPLE

Anyone else not like how CBS shows the possession? It's just the color of the team.

Pineapple x3

>>150668936
Fuck sake

NOOOOOO

Well at least we go to the half with the lead

>>150668937
He’s a lot faster and quicker than last season just based on the eye test. I guess he decided in the offseason that in >current year nfl that you need some degree of mobility

>>150668102
What AI do you use for these?

>>150668719
because Texans have 9 (points)!

>>150668935
Rams need to draft defensive backs that can cover mobile QBs

>>150669007
Did they draft any this year? My memory sucks, that's what they needed the most. Big reason why they lost to the Eagles

Taiki Shuttle is a Texans fan btw

Stroud needs to acknowledge that he doesn't have the o line for being a pocketbabby. Needs to be more mahomesian to make tuddies

>>150669056
He first needs to acknowledge how to recognize a blitz

>>150669056
Many are saying this

Now that it's halftime, I need to tell you y'all, I fuckin miss hot wings so badly. They don't exist here. I'm craving some b dubs bros

>>150669056
But he has never been a runner, even in college, they coaches need to develop a quick pass play book

>>150669151
Sounds like an opportunity for you to open up a wing place ther, make it Texans themed and you can make new Texan fans, haha.

>>150669158
The quick pass is what Caley was supposed to do. Still waiting. Stroud is supposed to call audibles too. Where’s that?

>>150669151
Make some hot wings and introduce it to some restaurant owner. Be the change

>>150669199
I actually went to azores this summer and there was a texas themed restaurant with tex mex. So damn good

>>150669267
I hear the Azores are beautiful

>>150669151
Probably missing Whataburger as well

>>150669151
My town finally got a B dubz after the other one closed down for a few years. The lemon pepper sauce is GOATED.

>>150669204
TELL ME THE AI YOU USE FOR THESE

Beautiful catch by Adams

>>150669343
I've lived in Texas all my life and I find Whataburger to be completely overrated but I will admit at least once a year it does hit the spot.

Damn that was a good catch

FUCKIN IMMACULATE CATCH!

WHERE THE FUCK IS OUr LOCK DOWN SECONDARY?!?!?!?!

CJ GOONER Johnson shidding the bed.

Errrrrmmmmm
how about an extra 5 yrds for you rams

TOUCHDOWN RAMS!

Oh for fuck sake, he touched Stings face first

Stafford's throw was fucking tight

Ok nevermind. Our defense and offense both suck.

>out of the half
>rams drive down the field like it’s nothing
First half adjustments were one of the biggest flaws we had last season. Lets see if we fixed that on offense at least.

yeah it's fucking over, texanbros. Toxins need a revamped offensive scheme.

Kyren needs more yards

>>150669579
We just did tho, like literally this is a completely new one

USE ZONE COVERAGE FOR FUCK SAKE!

we were supposed to stop having false starts....

WHY THE FUCK IS THIS FALSE START BULLSHIT NOT FIXED

We should change our name to The Houston False Starters

>>150669727
The Texans are just the Oilers again. We won’t ever win shit.

Yeah, the blocking sucked. But Stroud just sorta wandered into it.

YOUR ASS JUST GOT SAAAAAAAAAAAACKED

>>150669689
1st week sloppiness if it persists throughout the season then we have a major issue... Oh for fuck sake.

Tjought my brother was lying but dang this offensive line sucks ass.

Also interception LMAO

Incomplete, bounced off the ground.

INTERCEPTION!!

That was very obviously incomplete from that replay

Bros... What in the flying fuck. Ball hit the ground but I expect the refs to give it to the rams

that's the most texans interception i've ever seen

that's the texans oline I'm used to

>>150669799
Welcome to LA, where robbery is common

>>150669803
Stop being optimistic. It’s time to start pounding the Tito’s Vodka and call in to work in the morning.

>>150669837
oh wait that's incomplete

Wtf it's like Tyrod Taylor is playing QB again.

>>150669845
The line is soft. They need to start poking eyes and grabbing some dick and balls out there.

So I tried Gushers for the first time since I was a kid and it made me realize how old I am now. These shits taste like toxic sludge.

ITS LITERALLY MOVING
FUCK YOU "NEW YORK"

>>150669827
Im done bros the ref ball is too damn much... At least the Aggies won yesterday

>>150669873
Nope, shit was an int

>>150669906
Am I weird or can anyone else vividly remember tastes? When you said gushers, I could physically feel the syrup inside if the gummies explode in my mouth.

>yet another year of shit o-line
Why does caserio still have a job

>>150669953
Caserio is a faggot.

That was quick

>>150669969
This image makes the Texans secondary seethe.

>>150669940
You have triple digit IQ, I can still taste this one donut I used to buy from a vending machine at my elementary school in the early 90s.

>>150669970
>Texans
>Steers and queers
Makes sense

My texans are like the blackest team in the league, that's the problem.

>>150669953
To be fair, he completely got another OLine. Other GMs would replace like 1 guy and hope for the best. You aren’t going to just buy an all-pro OLine off the shelf.

>3 sacks in first game
this is a portened of the suffering to come texiebros

>>150670021
>blackest
Are you from Houston? You shouldn’t be surprised.

>pays a black QB too much after a good rookie year
>black QB quits trying

Tunsil bros, we won

>>150670026
Ok. And the o line he got still sucks shit

>>150670021
Baltimore and Detroit are blacker

>>150670026
Dude drafted Green. Cmon man.

>>150670056
what? He's still on his rookie deal?

>>150669343
That too. Especially their brekky

>>150670056
Nah the black QB is still trying but like all niggers they peak way too early and either regress or stagnate

>>150670056
I always found that weird. Not even joking, but there are some positions that certain races just cannot play. In soccer, rarely is a black goalkeeper good. Usually one of the lighter players on the team

>>150670070
I mean I agree with you. The point was he still actually did something even if that something hasn’t worked so far.
>>150670097
Yeah, not a great OLine drafter thats definitely for sure

>>150670089
Detroit has a white QB and white coach, Baltimore has a white coach, my Texans don't have any of that

Texibros can you believe Indy blew out the fins? And JAX also won their game. The Tits are actually keeping up with the Broncs and well. Couldn't stomach a loss at this time.

THE DILDO MAN IS BACK

>>150670237
>Cleveland
Of course lmao

>Houston loses another lineman
God this franchise is cursed

The entire new oline is now injured

>and the OLine is crumbling once again
well…. at least we’re used to this

Ceej is still scared of throwing the ball. Those ints from last year are still haunting him.

Certian picks should not count againt the QB. If it hits thr WR first the int should go against the WR

>flags flags flags
feels like a chiefs game

>>150670089
>Houston in early 2000s
>Mayor White: WE’RE A SANCTUARY CITY! MOVE HERE WE WILL HELP YOU!
>Spic population explodes
>Katrina hits New Orleans
>Black population triples

>>150670234
Indy threw out their nigger bust for a proper white QB and also drafted that total aryan Tyler Warren. It's fucking over.

>>150670306
>clear face mask is ref ball
Talk about buck broken

My Rams are playing really sloppy football. Too many flags. But that's to be expected when none of the Starters play in preseason due to McVay's autism.

>>150670331
Didn't say it was refball, retarded esl. Reading comprehension isn't your strong suit, so I'll give you some grace

>>150670334
Need Puka and Kyren to go off today

r8 the setup

>2nd down
>run
>3rd down
>9yd pass 10yds away from the 1st down
I fucking hate this team man

Lol dipshits jumped

>>150670430
Are you gooning while men rough eachother up in the background?

>>150670433
>black HC

>>150670430
Uhhh

Da Monkey Be Cryins

>>150670433
Are we sure caley isn't just slowik wearing one of those mission impossible masks

To’o’ot’o’o’o’t’to’o’o’ot

>>150670511
Kek it really do be like that

>>150670481
There it is. Go ahead. Call him Coach Primate.

Texans haven't been making tuddies since Tank Dell's death

>>150670430
Thought the weird pixels on the scoreboard was just my tv. Why would they think this shit looks good?

>>150670563
He’s an HEB commercial star now. Have some respect.

>>150670583
Think its supposed to be jersey texture

>another fucking year of undisciplined bullshit and inability to adjust and score in the 2nd half
holy shit fire meco and caserio, trade cj to a competent franchise, sell the fucking team and start over. i'm going to be dead and buried before this shit team ever makes a conference championship

>>150670655
Discipline is a white thing, nothing will change this season

WAJ my goat

STOP JUMPING NIQQAZ

>>150670719
Based?

>>150670719
Are you insinuating that Schultz isn't white?

>>150670719
Say that on Reddit and see what happens

>>150670813
I hate how lol so randumb those Caesars ads are becoming

>>150670855
They want the gen x(he/xim) and soillenial audience

I'm starting to think Stroud is overrated texiesbros

man stroud is so gun-shy now, it’s sad to watch. take a shot down the field dog

>>150670886
Wait that's not appealing to zoom zooms? What would a zoom zoom ad look like?

>>150670952
videogameshit

>>150670952
A 5 second short filled with slop

>>150670952
Jynxzi saying bad aim when Caleb Williams underthrows the dipping sauce for the wings maybe

>>150670940
He's so fucking scared to chuck the ball, I'm hoping he can find some confidence before I start to call him overrated too.

>>150670940
>>150670944
It's crazy the dropoff from the first year. Thought we finally found our franchise guy :(

>>150670952
Some guy just staring at the screen gooning, and then pans down to his penis as he cums, but instead of sperm a companies logo shoots out on to the screen

Those big ass helmets look like a joke that went too far

>>150671043
Kek why aren't you making the big bucks at an ad firm with ideas like that

it's already over, Colts are winning the division

I wish Davonte Adams would "release inside" my wife

>>150671089
I tried, they said they would make too much money, and said they are scared of success.

Well, we knew this was coming. Team sucks, bro.

>>150671099
Oh it's one of THOSE posters.

>>150671002
I've been saying black QBs peak early and then drop off. Mahomes was a freak incident

That is a fumble. Jesus crhsit.

You gotta challenge that

Look, our Texies will always lose to big teams but bully on the weaker teams. Another 9-8 season coming, will probably win the division in week 18.

>Clayton Kershaw gets 3000 Ks this year
>Matthew Stafford gets 60000 passing yards
Kino!

Is that a FOOMBLE mayhaps

YESSSSSSS!!!!!!! BREAK WE NEEDED!!!!

We have a ray of hope?

>>150671196
worst part is we're not even losing to a big team here

A pick 6 would be fuckin hilarious right now

>>150670952
any ad that has a well known twitch streamer

>>150671262
I wouldn't say that, they aren't some cupcake team. Stafford is a good QB

>>150671262
Nah boss, the Rasm are one of the better NFC teams, no one to sneeze at.

>pre-snap pentalties
I want to kill myself

Soulless ai virtual measurement

BULLSHIT

Lmao fucking retard

refball for Houston

Need to see a dragon right about now

Incoming Nico big play

Wow this game is heading to a wild finish, who woulda thunk!

fr?

>>150671430
true but Stroud is too shit to do anything

I would say refball but dude was like 2 seconds late. That wasn’t even close to not being a benalty

FUCK ME
FUCK FUCK FUKC FUCKE FOENMF

Remember when the (((media))) was claiming DeMeco Ryan was a great coach and CJ Sneed was the next big thing at QB? Why did they lie?

RAMS GET IT BACK!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH WOW

>>150671470
he flopped but yeah

What a fucking nigger, this is going to be a rough season

See yall next week. Im out.

That is just a sad, wet fart of an ending to the game.

Very toxins way to lose. What a dogshit offense

This was a sloppy game from both teams lol. Glad my Rams won tho

AHAHAHAHHAHA
GET FUCKED AND GET NUKED HFAGGOTS

I stayed up for this nonsense?

Dire first game for the texans

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Fucking kill me please

Rams are simply the whiter and higher IQ team, my texies never had a chance
>>150671506
you know (((why)))

RAMS HOUSE!

>>150671555
Nigga, go watch Ronaldo and sleep. Siuuuuu

>a mup da doo didda po mo
LOL shitxans

HOLY FUCK AHAHAHAHHAA

Name 1 reason why Texans lost

>>150671608
obama

>>150671608
O-line

texans are kinda of shit lads

>>150671608
Too many Latina sloots in the audience distracting them

>>150671608
Offense is regressing.

>>150671608
>black QB and HC

>>150671608
The city is actually cursed

>>150671634
And there it is

PUUUUUUUUUUUUKA!

whatever we still have the 2017 world series

Fuck Yeah Ramdgers

>>150671634
true

And that’s game
ggs rams
fuck this stupid fucking team. we look worse than last season. nice to see you all again and see yal next week for another disappointment

>>150671634
that's racist and not needed

We look worse than last year. We'll be lucky to win to 6 games. Oh and stroud sucks too

>>150671634
say it on your real account coward

>>150671634
Truth nuke

>Landman
I sure can use him right now!!

Stroud played actually pretty ok but the support around him is beyond shit including his OC

>>150671921
this. he is the least at fault for this and >we would have gone to the afccg if the team didn't get reffed to death against the chiefs