Thread 150794478

14-28 Lions
Bears a shit

>>150794478 (OP)
shit teams

>>150794478 (OP)
this trash game didn't need a 2nd thread

The Detroit Lions will fuck every Super Bowl forever, twisting time into a goddamn pretzel like the Kennedy assassination winked and said “deal with it,” while quarterbacks implode into spaghetti nightmares and defensive linemen grow wings of rotten meat and despair, stadiums explode in diarrhea-colored confetti hurricanes that taste like regret and gasoline, fans howl in gibberish that smells like burned toast and despair, touchdowns crawl up history’s asshole and fist-bump eternity, referees explode into screaming clouds of piss, mascots vomit molten cheese onto the cosmos, and the word “upset” is crushed under a 10-ton boot of orange-and-blue fury until even the concept of football itself screams “holy shit, Detroit owns everything forever.”

>>150794585
Too bad. Suck on Caleb's bussy

>>150794569
This reminds me of JaMarcus Russell.

>>150793426
brad holmes taking the fell for it again award on this one

Up by 17 and I still dont feel comfortable

>>150794675
Fool me once, fool me twice etc

GET HIM!

>>150794691
The true lions experience

Davenport injured yet again

>>150794691
You should, it's the bears

Heemed himself :(

>davenbust
JESUS CHRIST HOLMES C'MON MAN

Can this announcer please clear his throat?

>>150794698
Holmes already did this once with Emmanuel Moseley

>>150794804
Real men swallow and derive sustenance from their own phelgm

>>150794699
Why aren't Gayleb's nails painted?

This officiating team is awful man wtf

Ahahahahahahahahaha Gayleb is a bust ahahahahahahahaha

What even is this game?

>>150794873
Slopfest

Johnson's immense disgust with Caleb is already apparent. This is a Tua/Flores situiation

Every single week retarded bears fans will hype gayleb up after the scripted opening drive and every single week he's gonna suck ass the second it's over for the rest of the game

>>150794873
Burrs get btfo episode 69420

>>150794864
i am really enjoying how every time they throw a flag they need to talk about it for 2 minutes before they announce the penalty

>>150794902
He literally signed up to coach this retard, he has no one but himself to blame.

Should bench the dumb lightskin for Bagent desu.

That "baby bro" ad triggers my big sister fetish every single fucking time. Fuck.

>Edwards dead again
This season is gonna be a disaster

jamo was in his own zipcode what the fuck are the bears doing

Apologize.

Bears sissies? Our response to being the worst team in the division for the 4th straight year?

holy fuck

>>150794812
Yeah but davenport is even more fragile
Also JAMOOOO

wamo

Liquid Death is fucking stupid

>>150794864
vilma gets names wrong with every other player. it's hilarious

pope status?

bearsfags continuing to support this dogshit on-field product are utterly and completely cucked

my lions about to get their first win of the season!

>>150795155
His holy bussy has been exorcized

I am beginning to feel comfortable

Streaming games for anons + VC

gg/rH23TPPE

>>150795155
More suffering = more prayer. Pope's eating good

>>150795165
We are waiting for the McKeksey's to sell the team...

>those bears fans
What race was that

>>150795155
Does the Pope even do anything anymore or is he just the religious version of the British royals

>>150795313
chiraqi

>Hutch injured
Oof

>>150795352
What a dirty fucking block

The funny thing is that you absolutely know ownership is hating this because there is no way anyone will willingly give 2 billion for a losing team to build a stadium in Arlington Fucking Heights.

LOOK AT ME MY NAME IS GAYLEB I LIKE PAINTING MY NAILS AND BEING GAY NOT FOOTBALL NO SIREE

This is eberflusian level bad

what an absolute disaster lmao

Ok so now the bear's season is over right?

Is there any situation in which a chop block isn't a deliberate and dirty move to break legs?

>>150795414
I will say no only because the Eagles started 0-2 last year and won it all.

AND WITH THE 1ST OVERALL PICK, THE 0-17 CHICAGO BEARS SELECT

>>150795408
The only constant here is Caleb. I am beginning to suspect that he is mentally deficient.

Weird thing is calebs nails have nothing to do with his on the field performance
He just stinks
>Hutch
FUCK YOU CHICAGO YOU FUCKS

>>150795424
Atp just replace the Bears with U of I or Northwestern.

>>150795449
>Comparing a competent team to the bears
Lmao

why does hutch look like a kid that just opened a Christmas present every time he's on camera?

>>150795467
>Only cosntant is Caleb
>And Wright
>And Jones
>And Edwards
>And Swift
>And McCaskey

The reports of the Detroit Lions demise have been greatly exaggerated.

FUCK BEN JOHNSON

>>150795535
What's he listening to bros?

>>150795525
The fuck does this mean

>>150795467
He isn't responsible for letting the lions score 38. Defense is a joke, Poles can't build a roster for shit

Why do the people complaining about Caleb always have all these pictures of him saved on their computer. Bit weird imo.

>>150795579
Probably Frank Ocean

>>150795610
GIBBS ME DAT!

This is quickly turning into a bussy pounding

>>150795525
Designated golden boy

>>150795657
Just IMAGINE BDDC absolutely CRUSHING your prostate

>2026
>bears draft a new franchise QB because Ben hates gayleb
>he sucks/doesn't get time to develop and Ben is canned
>2027
>new coach is hired that will fix the new QB
>He sucks, complains it isn't "his" guy, drafts/trades "his" guy
>still suck
>repeat

>>150795610
It's an image board. If you aren't saving stupid images you aren't getting in the spirit of things.

>>150795696
ouch

So are Bears fans going to defend Gayleb long after it is obvious that he sucks like they did for Fields?

>>150795610
>he says while having no less than 1,500 images of soccer players making the same cum face on his computer

>>150795408
It's Abe Gibron enjoying life tier happiness.

Hello, my name is Caleb Williams and I believe Charlie Kirk deserved to get shot. Please report this post to my employer, the Chicago Bears

i take a break to shitpost in /cfb/ and my lions score another tuddy

DA BURRS

>>150795739
>>150795837
I don't stockpile pictures of players looking fruity, no.

>ISNT CALEB GAY LMAO
>*saves photo #6435 of caleb looking fruity to his special folder*

wow real classy detroit still throwing the ball and stat padding up big

>>150795391
Bears are a suburban team anyway, they deserve to be out in strip mall land

>45-1
What the fuck did the Bears do?

Morton baby Goff.

>>150795958
Ryan Poles was heard celebrating Thursday afternoon in his office

So what does Ben Johnson do? The Lions are the same without him. The Bears are the same with him.

>>150795958
Kek, underrated

Unbelievably stupid celebration

>>150795992
I have like 5 pictures of Caleb looking fruity. Not on this computer, though.

No refunds Burrs

>>150796064
He helped Poles win the offseason

>>150796093
>naperville-cel seething because detroit is winning in style

Burrs biting the curb

>>150796110
>lions are playing prevent to get the game over with
>gayleb stat pads
Lol

This is not garbage time, btw. Caleb found his footing. Season saved.

Everyone on the defense scored a sack before Hutch.

ANOTHER PICK

KWAB

>Hutch
FINALLY

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

SACK #4

>>150796197
>implying being from Naperville is a bad thing
kek we be taking all yall bitches from Bolingbrook, Plainfield & Aurora bitch nigga

Lions can't win without playing dirty.

Lmfao Gayleb sucks ass

>BRIAN BRANCH OOGA BOOGA DIE CALEB
I fucking love it

>ahhhh save me reffies
-gayleb

Oh look Brian Branch being a dirty player again

>>150796352
lemme tell you about all those bitches in Royal Oak, Canton, and Rochester...

...shheeeeiiiittttt

t. grosse pointe

>>150796395
Wasn't dirty desu, just against the rules

>>150796352
you're all western suburbs trash
t. north shore chad

>fuck Ben Johnson chant
Kekerino

>>150796482
>hes from milwaukee

>>150796482
>north shore
kek poorfag

I'll say it

Those davante taco bell commercials are actually funny

>onside kick
Towel thrown

>>150796064
Actually the Bears never gave up this many points last year so he clearly has had an effect

I fear the bears are so bad that this doesn't say much about my woins

Goff will join Barry Sanders and Megatron as one of those NFL GOATs that never got a ring because the Lions are cursed.

I'm not a Bears fan but I became a hatewatcher after the Hail Mary last year

>>150796887
I can promise you no fucking suburbs will want a tram that plays like the Bears

>52 points
>the 4th quarter isn't even half over

Brutal

I’m fucking dying lmao fuck the bears

>running the score up on the burrs
King dan campbell

>dropping 50 on ben cucksons ass

Feels good wionsbros

>>150796760
Yeah and the refs gifted us that td try before the half but IDGAF lmao this is what BJ gets for shit talking my goofball and calling for Jamo to throw that pass against the commanders

Based Goof cheesing it up for the fans.

F I F T Y
I
F
T
Y

>running up the score
Okay time to take someone's knee out

They didn't need to do that. Even best case scenario I thought the Bears defense would know better than to let an unproven Lions defense dump 52 points on them.

>Goff jumps and struggles to get into the seat
Fucking kek

Why are Lions fans mad at Ben Johnson? Do they really think he should have declined a head coaching job to be a coordinator?

FLY LION FLY
ON THE ROAD TO WINNING GAME
TOUCHDOWN 1 2 3
WE ARE WONNING GAME

>up 24 in the 4th
>go for it on 4th down anyways
>score so you can hang a 50 burger on your old OC

>>150797039
>>150797068
Screen grabs please someone deliver

>>150796409
Northville supremacy checking in

Lions want to be the Packers so bad even copying the Lambeau Leap

>>150797089
Should’ve gone to Jacksonville.

>>150797089
He went to a division rival
That's it

>>150796487
Good, I hope hes totally demoralized after today

>>150797089
I bet old Benny is thinking he should’ve right about now

What's Caleb going to draw on his nails after this one?

Lions are winning the superbowl this year guaranteed. Cap it. I'm so sure. This offense is the best in the league hands down. Defense is looking elite. Fuck Ben johnson we don't need that traitors bitch ass anyway. We got this.

>>150797132
what's it like living in northville desu?

goff looks like such a goofy ass doofus sometimes lmao

>>150797118
video of goff's "leap"

https://x.com/MySportsUpdate/status/1967316944723591250

GAYLEB WAS BENCHED
GAYLEB WAS BENCHED

>>150797089
>NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LIONS FANS DIDN'T CHEER RAMS HECKIN' STAFFORD DURING A PLAYOFF GAME HELP ME GOODELL

>>150797196
And yet his Ryan Gosling stunt double looking ass rails some supermodel bimbo on the reg
Based man

>>150797190
I love it. But I'm married with kids so I'm not into trendy bars or nightlife. If you're looking for a nice suburb with good schools there are few places in the country that would be better.

>>150797243
Goff is an NFL qb worth tens of millions. He could do better.

>bagent 007
Real game starts now

>>150797089
Cause he's not with the Lions anymore and he called retarded plays against washington.

>>150797183
SOVL

>>150797257
married, no kids. GP is perfect. Safe and aesthetically pleasing, but close enough to cool shit that it doesn't get boring

>>150797183
I love how Detriot is just crawling with niggers yet Lions fans are always white.

>>150796778
Goff is a system QB, not even the best player on the team. Sanders and CJ were completely unstoppable and once in a generation talents.

>>150797089
He didn't have to jump ship immediately, especially kek, the media fellating him last year went straight to his head. And let's be honest he's still not head coach worthy. I hope that pay day was worth it because it might be his last

Will the bears win more than 3 games this year?

>>150797383
5 million people in the metro and only like 700k in the city. Lions tickets are also expensive af now

>>150797383
suburbs/statewide fanbase

>>150797383
lions have some of the most expensive tickets in the NFL now, only people who can afford them are the whiteys living in the suburbs

>>150797411
*especially when he was on a good team

>>150797421
the bears aren't even that bad. they'll go like 8-9

>>150797459
I'm aware.

t. Walled Lake resident

>>150797132
Is the Northville Downs still there?

Kyle Allen time burrs prepare your bungholes

I miss Mitch and Justin. They at least had sovl

>>150797755
Mitchy Tribiscuit having more success in 2 attempts then Bustin in 11.

>>150797625
Negative. They're going to build one of those trendy town center developments there

>>150797755
I thought Justin did well last week, what happened this time?

Guys I don't think da Bears are winning the owl this year

Caleb literally played fine. We good.

>>150797181
Lions aren't even winning the division buddy

>>150798154
Just as many TDs as incompletions. Goff didn't change at all.

>>150798219
Did you watch that game? The lions are firing on all cylinders. They have zero weakness. Offense is elite. Defense is elite. This is our year.

>>150798395
Lions are good.
They'll still be second in the division behind the Packers

>>150797527
Hey me too
Wanna frick

>>150798465
Lions are going to destroy the packers when they play. They'll drop a 50 bomb on them. And the defense will hold them to low score. It'll be a complete blowout

>>150798465
We'll see Packers are good not taking from them but it ain't over.

>>150799735
Lol

>>150800020
I thought it was hilarious so many people were acting like the Lions were over after GB dominated them. I kept telling them to just wait and that GB was going to make a lot of great teams look pedestrian so it wasn't a reflection of the Lions being bad