Thread 96029767

ITT: we are here in Orc City

>orc "city"
>looks like a favela

Learn how to lay bricks you stupid green fucks.

>>96029767 (OP)
>Orc
>City
I guess you could call this forest of dirty huts a city if you squint at it from a distance great enough to not smell its miasma of unwashed green ass and livestock

>Orc
>City
Pick one

>>96029767 (OP)
why do the orcs refuse to use the toilets we built for them?

>>96029767 (OP)
why is everyone here trying to pick a fight with me? am I doing something wrong or is this how these people say hello

>>96029767 (OP)
As the Royal Ambassador of the Elvish King, come to negotiate concessions to the Elvish Kingdom with the Orc's High Chieftan on my king's behalf, I see that there really isn't much here we want

I for one think Orc City is quite charming

>>96029857
>>96029872
>>96029839

>>96029886
Shouldn't it say Gork bless or Mork bless rather than zog bless?

>>96029839
Fuck off, greenigger.

>>96029767 (OP)
>Go to Orc City
>Eat tacos
>Mariachi bands all over the place
>Can hear constant screams from people getting their faces sliced off
>Line of orcs trying to break into the nearby elf city while claiming orc cities are superior
>Donkeys look smug as hell for some reason
>Non-orcs keep shitting their guts out

Truly peak culture

>>96030062
>orcs
>mexicans
Since when was that a thing?

>>96030072
hes just making a racist joke, dont worry about it

>>96030072
since DnD Beyond and 5.5 e.
>>96030087
No, he is referencing how the leftists at Wizards are fucktardedly racist retards.

>>96030087
Newest D&D.

The complaint was people were frequently describing minorities as orcs and, in an effort to combat associating orcs with negative minority stereotypes, D&D basically made Orcs into Mexicans which is hilarious.

>>96029767 (OP)
What game?

>>96030148
Why is DnD worldbuilding so downright dogshit when vidya RPGs run circles around it? You want kino neutral/good orcs? Look at Warcraft ffs. What's with this creative bankrupcy of throwing arms in the air and saying "uhhh, idk, maybe they ah... uh... live in a desert with ponchos?"

>>96030550
Wasn't always that way. Look at the new Dragon Age, vidya is headed in that direction too.

Take me down to the Orky City
Where the skin is green and everything is shitty

>>96030581
Could most of these not just be figured out by context clues?

>>96030589
kek

>>96030589
>All the slurs are generic as shit
Weak sauce, I could come up with better shit than this in my sleep.
Stories like this need a racism consultant to help them be properly racist.

Watch:
>Pit-pig: Slur for orcs since its believed the first orcs were born from holes in the ground as 'no mother would birth such a thing without immediately killing it'
>Tharaf's Pin Cushion: Used for veterans of the orc-war, especially those with old battle scars or missing limbs, named after the great elvish hero 'Twinklefuck Tharaf' who led a long gurilla campaign behind enemy lines culminating in the counter attack at Yaslan's Fell, a turning point in the war. Often shortened to just 'Cushion'
>Truffle-Hunter: Slur for people that are willing to sleep under the same roof as orcs, sexual connotations since they're 'Laying down with the boars' and presumed to be fucking them, why else would anyone tolerate the stench?
A slur doesn't have to even involve direct cursing to be viable.
It just has to be full of hate.

>>96029767 (OP)
This thread is ORCSHIT

>>96030581
>>96030589
I noticed the few small defenders of this dude were all balding (or wearing hats to hide their balding) 50 year olds self published authors

>>96030625
Could've just used pigger.

>>96030645
Yeah but that's too on the nose and has real life connotations. I'm assuming the author doesn't want drama or real life shit, otherwise I'd have also thrown in:
>Log: Orcish female, as in 'throw another log on the fire to keep you warm through the night'

Still, slurs need a certain je ne sais quoi to them.
You want something you can go all in on and spit out in a moment of hate.
A good slur has to have mouth feel to it.

>>96030634
you are inventing this just to be rude to balding men
it's mean

>>96030625
these suck too

fucking zugzugs
green trash
pukeskins
wargfuckers
rapeapes

>>96029767 (OP)
"ORCS could be here" the Elf King thought. "I've never been in this city before. There could be ORCS anywhere." The cool wind felt good against his bare chest. "I HATE ORCS" he thought. Lute music reverberated in the air, making him pulsate even as elven wine circulated through his powerful thick veins and washed away his (merited) revulsion towards orcs. "With a horse you can go anywhere you want" he said to himself out loud.

>>96029872
Is a halfway decent stir fry really worth getting krumped on the way to the store?

>>96030827
What's the source of this copypasta? I originally saw it about Lion'el Johnson and TRAITORS

>>96029886
This is my corner you little jit, fuck off before I put this shard of moonglass between your ribs

What are we gonna do about all these goblins in Orc City
I don't like how they're in charge of all the loot piles

>>96029906
>walham lore
Ew.

>>96030632
Wtf Jackie Chan wore greenface?? That would land him at least three weeks in the slave fighting pits

>>96029767 (OP)
You ever sacked one of these shitholes? Let me tell you, never have the officers' orders to keep looting to a minimum been easier to obey. They've got nothing. NOTHING. My first time in an Orc City I realized the real cause of their poverty. They have no economy. Everything they have is pure extraction or theft. Sure an orc might beat some iron into the rough shape of a sword, Orcs might enslave other orcs and force them to strip mine something, but they have no developed craftsman class, no real engineers, no system of finance, everything is just a brute-force industry to get weapons so that they can go rob actual people.

I fucking hate these vermin. I cannot IMAGINE how much the humans who share borders with them must hate them. Complete--I mean it, COMPLETE subsapient life. And good luck exterminating them, I've seen them bury themselves in mud and hide for days at a time, just waiting for danger to pass so that they can come back out and start scavenging again. We need to develop some kind of ground-penetrating magic detection system to find these things and wipe them out entirely. Nobody is safe until the last Orc is dead. Nothing is as reviled as the orc--and rightly so.

>>96030550
>You want kino neutral/good orcs? Look at Warcraft ffs.
warcraft orcs are murderous invaders who destroy and plunder the land.

>Why is DnD worldbuilding so downright dogshit when vidya RPGs run circles around it?
the point is that most DMs can make their own world and lore . . .

>>96030581
>>96030589
lmao what the fuck is this, looks hilarious

>>96031382
The newest thing making the rounds, Eye of Argon tier bad writing from some guy's first novel, but it's so straight-faced that it's actually fucking hilarious.

>>96029767 (OP)
Ogre think orc women are good for fucking.
Ogre like orc city.

>>96031379
>DMs can make their own world and lore
No, fuck off. This kind of bullshit excuse needs to die.
The mainline lore is being changed and your response is "lol, just make up your own lore" without even considering that new players are just going to assume the new lore is the standard. If someone new has been led to believe orcs are good boys who didn't do shit wrong except be green and they hit the table with a grognard who has orcs behave as monsters? Newbie is gonna assume the old guard are just racist toward orcs and, because of the new lore, Mexicans as well. Now you got some people who won't give a shit, but enough new blood WILL complain and socially. The kind who gets offended won't leave it at the table either and now you gotta defend your actions IRL to other shit bags.

Fuck you. Don't give those faggots an inch.

>>96030880
The original was I think a thread on /lit/ where they were supposed to write a story based on a picture and it was some panicked looking dude filling his car at a gas station. Guess what originally filled the role of "orcs" and "traitors."

>>96030827
"ORCS couldn't be here," he thought, "I've been in this city. There couldn't be ORCS anywhere." The burned wind felt good against his bare chest. "I HATE ORCS" he thought. The savage cries now silent reverberated his entire ear, making it pulsate even as the knuckle's depth of ash and blood circulated through his powerful thick veins and washed away his (merited) hatred of Orcs after dark. "There is nothing more reviled than the Orc" he said to himself, out loud.

>>96030581
>>96030589

Based. I love things like that, full of innocence and purity.
And

>We built orc city
>We built orc city on rock and roll
>Built orc city
>We built orc city on rock and roll

>>96031696
>The mainline lore is being changed and your response is "lol, just make up your own lore" without even considering that new players are just going to assume the new lore is the standard.
most players who are interested in the game are not going to care what is 'standard' outside of their first few experiences. anyone who wants to start running the game will eventually have their own ideas for what their world will be like, which usually diverges quite a bit from the standard presentation of the setting.

most people are generally open-minded about fiction, despite what your doomscrolling would have you believe. there is no need to seethe about something that will never really impact your own games.

>>96029767 (OP)
>>96030603
>>96030609
>>96030614
>>96030616
>>96030620
>>96030632
>>96030636
>>96030644
>>96030827
It's pretty sad to think about how cyberculture used to be downstream from 4chan but now this site is so fucking dead is digging up and regurgitating shitty twitter memes for some bid at relevance.

>>96031792
Good, I'm sick of pseuds revising internet history to claim my taste in media and sense of belonging to a digital community must first subordinate itself to evaluation by an "obscure subculture" that's younger than me and can be found within seconds of a simple google search.
>filtered
>gatekept
>an hero
You were always just fags.

>>96031696
Corporate wants DnD to be "gurps from my netflix show". Let the players twist it into whatever they want it to be and ignore the fact that paying real money for an eBook of the rules of a game you don't play by the rules is psychotic. Their target market is funko pop collectors.

>>96031869
>t. nogames snowflake

>>96031869
>i hate 4chan which is why i am desperately posting shitty memes on 4chan to get kudos and (you)s from internet strangers i claim to hate
So are you lonely, needy, or just tsundere?

>>96030880
>What's the source of this copypasta?
"Post an image, and another anon writes a story about it." Somebody posted a rich-looking white guy panicking while filling his car in the middle of the night, and somebody extrapolated that it was some poor bastard who got caught running on fumes in the ghetto, and was trying to get out of there before a future scholar wandered up to discuss his dissertation in ballistic physics.

>>96030550
>"uhhh, idk, maybe they ah... uh... live in a desert with ponchos?"
Honestly sounds better than that awful picture.

>>96029924
Fuck off, your commissions are terrible.

>>96030581
>>96030589
I don't get it. Do these cucks think it's something to do with blacks?

>>96030880
It was about car-centric suburbs

>>96032175
No, it's just bland as shit. It's laughable how paint by numbers it is. It feels like a book a character in a TV show would be reading, because the writers don't want to waste time on it.

>>96032175
Nah, it's just bad writing after the writer got snotty on twitter about someone elses writing.
Throwing stones in glass houses and all that shit.

>>96031382
If I understand correctly, the writer was opening attacking Hideo Kojima for being a hack because he wrote a character called "Fatman" who is, in fact, a fat man.

People did some digging and surprise, the dude criticizing others writes like a middle schooler.

I've genuinely read fanfiction more creative than that slop.

>>96029767 (OP)
Ooga booga! Where da orc women at

>>96032032
That is a good depiction of an orc.

>>96033508
not really

>>96030550
>Why is DnD worldbuilding so downright dogshit when vidya RPGs run circles around it?
Because the people who own D&D don't at all understand what it's about.
Take a look at one of the old settings like Greyhawk's original box, JG's Wilderlands and you find plenty of good stuff. Hell even the early Forgotten Realms stuff wasn't all bad.

>>96033644
idk it's pretty detailed

>>96033744
it's ugly and looks bad

work on your art

>>96033773
orcs are supposed to be ugly

ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

WE DON'T WANT AN ORC WAR!

FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT!

STOP THE ARROWS! STOP THE HATE!

>>96030685
Sorry about your hair loss

>>96030550
It's funny that for all their attempts to make the fantasy racism of the game/settings more palatable, they just end up reinventing other kinds of racism. WotC just can't conceive of a made-up fantasy species that isn't analogous to some real race/culture/whatever

>>96034567
No orc ever called ME "knife ear".

>>96032175
No, it's bad writing and the 50 year olding fantasy author deserves all the shit he's getting for attacking Kojimbo's KINO writing.

>>96035663
Yeah? Well I'm from Orc City and I say kill 'em all.

Where there's a whip, there's a way
Where there's a whip, there's a way
Where there's a whip
We don't wanna go to war today (there's a way)
But the Lord of the Lash says, "Nay, nay, nay" (where there's a whip, there's a way)
We're gonna march all day, all day, all day (where there's a whip, there's a way)
Where there's a whip, there's a way
Where there's a whip, there's a way
Where there's a whip, there's a way
Where there's a whip, there's a way
Left, right, left, right, left
Where there's a whip, there's a way
Left, right
The crack on the back says we're gonna fight
We're gonna march all day and night and more
For we are the slaves of the Dark Lord's war
Left, right, left, right, left, right
Where there's a whip, there's a way
Where there's a whip, there's a way
Where there's a whip

Why do people dislike orcs?

What the hell is this thread even about? What is orc city?

Hey, hey, Lorg Bar'jey, how many elfs did you kill today?

>>96032293
Correction, it feels like a book that a midwit character in a prestige TV show would be writing. Like Cleaver from Sopranos.

>>96036403
Some guy posted on twitter calling Hideo Kojima (the guy who wrote and directed the metal gear games) a hack and then someone tweeted the opening to said guy's book and basically everyone agreed that people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

>>96038187
But Kojima is a hack

>>96038187
>Some guy posted on twitter calling Hideo Kojima a hack
He is family guy of vidya

>>96038068
Lorgar says it’s fine and grand
To chop lumber in the elven land
City applauds the mandate is clear
Didn’t Mordor die to the sound of a cheer?

Sauron ain't dead
Sauron ain't dead
That's the rumour I hear

Worgs in the jungle, worgs on the street
Shot by a ranger or a guard on the beat
Ilvylywn to Maul'gar to city hall
With his claw on the orcgold and his back to the wall

Sauron ain't dead
Sauron ain't dead
He just yaps like a nob

Dance to the tune of orcish hate
Just a few more elfs to exterminate
Scrappers, peons, and shamans agree
Just like they used to in Barad-dur

Sauron ain't dead
Sauron ain'r dead
It just smells that way

There's elves marching in the trees tonight
Ain't scared of a gaol ain't scared of a fight
Sylvan spears and fancy bows
Singing freedom songs to the sound of a drum

Sauron ain't dead
Sauron ain't dead
But his time has come

>>96030148
>¡Ay caramba! We no malandros, we just pobres cabrones looking for trabajo. Maybe smash rocks, maybe carry cosas pesadas, y'know? No seas gacho, don’t snitch to the pinche Lords’ Alliance! They catch us, they gonna put us in esclavitud… Or even make us pay impuestos. ¡A la verga con eso!"

>>96038252
>He is family guy of vidya
Has a huge following all saying how great he is despite everything associated with him ranging from meh to shit?
That's a good analogy.

>>96030148
What's even more hilarious about making making orcs Mexican is even THAT isn't original because that goofy ass Netflix movie Bright pretty much had orcs stand in for Mexican gangsters.

>>96039377
>Mexican
Anon... they were so obviously supposed to represent black people. I don't know how that flew over your head.

>>96034240
Why?

>>96040326
That's just a black person with pointy ears.

>Nothing more reviled than the Orc
Goblinchads stay winning as the superior greenskin

We have the Broken Sword at home ahh book

Are there...any elves here?

>>96040370
Yeah that’s what an orc is

>>96030148
>Orc Cartel warboss cutting the heads off 21 pregnant Orc women
>Orc Cartel warboss kidnaps touring humans
>Orc King can barely control the warring Orc cartel clans, their aggresive nature makes it so Orcs have mucho civil wars and bloodshed
>Orc king arrests the son of an Orc cartel warlord, Orc cartel warlord orders his spies to cause mayhem and destruction across the clans
>Orcs trafficking Femorcs as sex slaves into human kingdoms
>Orcs trafficking tons of narcotics into neighboring kingdoms
>"Ay Caramba! I tried to run across the human kingdom border, but got shot by the Human border patrol!""
>Orcs use katanas from the eastern fantasy Nippongo, because they are big fans of them

Honestly pretty kino.

>>96030148
>People were frequently using this barbarian race as a stand-in for real minorities (they weren't) and we don't like that so instead of generic barbarian/nomadic/warrior culture race that doesn't have a clear parallel with any real culture... we decided to base them on one very clearly defined minority group so now it's a stand-in for real minority by default
Honestly incredible.

>>96029837
The Toilet Hag is gonna get them if they do.

>>96051652
>next edition tries turning orcs into European analogues
>activists suddenly become rabidly anti-orc
>shitposters just start Garroshposting

>>96048204
Orc Cartel worship ancient Eastern Gods with raised blonde hair.
Famous Orc City festival is about dead people walking among the living for a day.
Orc City has rivality with their Human Ancestors from Paella City. Centuries ago, Puella humans colonized OrColumbia and fucked elf chocolate natives: Orcs are their offsprings. Orc City has relationship with Skaven Pizza City, Nigro Human Barbosa City and Twink Manila City
Female Orcs from Orc City are always beautiful, ripped and toned (with tights able to smash the hardest watermelon in Orc City) but as soon an unlucky male Orc puts a weeding ring on her hands, they fat, ugly, pouty and violent.
Orc City has festival where stuffed ponies are filled with meat and sweets, then smashed with a baseball bat.
Orc City breed Worgs, slamming and smashing in puny canine creatures.
Orc City prisons are living hell.
Centuries ago, Orc City did the revolution like the epic songs from Lion Wop and Jap Nyamo-Kurosawa.
Orc City is always under an orange filter.

Orcs are vicious

>>96052806
Kek

>>96051782
Who invited the oracles into this thread? Can you tell us when the next good game gets released, too?

>>96030685
Stone Cold and Sam Jackson are cool

>>96029767 (OP)
Bros where do human men generally meet big muscular orc women in orc city?

>>96056814
>Radio Free Eltwyn reports that human volunteers have been found among the dead orc warband that was liquidated by magic seeking missle yesterday.
>Forrest Intelligence reports that this might be evidence of Orc City attracting young human men with the promise of "trad culture" and a chance to form "a true strong family".

Is this an antisemitic thread?

>>96056886
you want Gnome City

>>96056886
I think its racist against Americans

>>96052806
>Order your Toadline Worg today (requires collecting from Orc City)
>&5000 (no refunds)
>3X GRONK 2X ZUGE
>Never stops eating
>Tru-Orc Necromancy: Won't Stay Dead even if JEALOUS rivals take an axe to it, SMASHED and SLAMMED meridians makes them stronger the more they suffer
>Can't breath, but don't need to

Why should I, a human, care about the orcs and elves blowing each other up over golf sized chunks of forest?

>>96059505
Because elves are our greatest allies.

>>96030062
>donkeys look smug as hell for some reason

>he doesn't know
ask any Orc in town where to find the donkey show and you'll understand

>>96056886
everythread is an anti-semitic thread or waiting to become one desu

>>96051782
They were already European analogues.

Think about it, anon. What ethnic group in real life is associated with wolves, axes, tribes, barbarism, being the standard troops of an evil empire (if not running it in their own right), and the destruction of civilization?

That's right. They're Germans.

>>96056814
If you're not at least 200 cm tall, orc women don't have any interest, sorry, bro.

>>96030880
Newfag

>>96029767 (OP)
>orc dwellings

>>96060597
>the joke is racism
>because I'm racist all the time
>The joke explained: fuck black people
>I say nigger with a hard r

>>96060614
"You forgot to attach the gigachad image."

>the joke is racism
>because I'm racist all the time
>The joke explained: fuck black people
>I say nigger with a hard r

Take me down to the big orc city
We're the girls are green and they sure are pretty.
Take me home (I want you, please, take me home)

>>96060614
lame and also gay
>>96060670
based and also heterosexual

>>96030148
>6 birds and 11 orcs in the image
might as well just advertise just the birds at that point

>>96030148
NICE, LOVE ME SOME SIDECUT MANJAW LESBORC IN COWGIRL(male) BOOTS

>>96030148
So we can't have Mystara because of racial stereotypes but this is fine?

>>96059934
Found some interested in me.
It has been 8 hours of just snu-snu with little breaks in between as I post this. Send help. And clothes for me, they got ripped up.

>>96061107
You will never touch a woman.

>>96062022
Why are you shitting on someone who is obviously just having a bit of fun in a silly thread?

>>96056886
It's a pro-Metal Gear thread, which is why your cat has a balaclava.

>>96063266
metal gear?

>>96062022
you say that like it's a bad thing desu

>>96068184
SHAGOHOD?!?!?

>>96032175
They are making fun of his generic writing because he dared criticize Kojima's character naming. It was specifically Fat Man.

>>96034240
No

>>96030062
>go to the Orc Kingdom
>the orc chieftain is fucking a mare donkey

damn you andres manuel lopez Orcbrador

>>96034240
meh, half orc girls are my guilty pleasure

>>96030148
wait... Wait, does this mean that snoosnoo orc women are latina thiccies now?

>>96081242
damn, and I thought green gyatts was just the bank in harry potter.

>>96030998
Newfag.

>>96029942
>You would not believe your eyes if ten million elven guys
>burnt down the walls as I fell asleep
>'Cause they'd fill the open air and leave bloodstains everywhere
>You'd think me rude, but I would just stand and stare

>>96030148
The craziest thing is Orcs already had an acceptable real life culture to be based on.

They were vikings. Nobody cares when vikings are raiders, its in the name.

How did anyone look at raiders wearing wolf and bear pelts and occasionally chain mail or metal spikes who worship a one-eyed storm god of berserker fury as ooga-booga sub-saharans? They wish. They'd have to invent bladed weapons first.

>>96081542
one on the far left actually looks slightly amerindian coded with the feathers. no tassles though, and they really liked their tassles.

still, he's got iron belt buckles (definitely not a first nations thing) and one of those ancient chinese goatees, so he's kind of all over the place. Might have all the feathers and bird skulls because he's a Druid.

>>96081542
The sad thing is, vikings are still the best inspiration for orcs to this day.
Ballad of the White Horse should be mandatory reading for any DM thinking of doing a game where orcs are the main enemy.
https://www.gutenberg.org/files/1719/1719-h/1719-h.htm
>Our towns were shaken of tall kings
>With scarlet beards like blood:
>The world turned empty where they trod,
>They took the kindly cross of God
>And cut it up for wood.

>Their souls were drifting as the sea,
>And all good towns and lands
>They only saw with heavy eyes,
>And broke with heavy hands,

>Their gods were sadder than the sea,
>Gods of a wandering will,
>Who cried for blood like beasts at night,
>Sadly, from hill to hill.

>>96081542
Not even vikings really, most of the time it's run of the mill "GIMME BACK MAH LEGIONS" barbarians

>>96046108
No. That's an elf.

>>96086441
Well the barbarian comparisons are what got Orcs in hot water in the first place. Describe a monster as primitive and violent, and """anti-racists""" will strangely accuse you of caricaturing Africans. Better to just lean heavily on vikings.

>>96030148
Warcraft got it right when they decided orcs should be green

>>96089204
>Describe a monster as primitive and violent, and """anti-racists""" will strangely accuse you of caricaturing Africans.
Oh, let's not pretend the racists weren't making those exact caricatures. I remember when we used to have regular Warcraft threads on this board, a solid 40% of every thread was just recycled /pol/ memes.

>>96030581
>>96030589
I've seen chatgpt shit out more creative stuff. Who is responsible for this banal shlock?

>>96030550
Elder Scrolls is better, they are simeltaneously sort of opressed but also raidy pillagy retards when they do end up settling down.

>>96029767 (OP)
we live in an orc sociecity

>>96029767 (OP)
>not New Orc City
you had one job op

>>96096592
The thing is one group was making silly low brow racist jokes and the other is being fully serious when they equate orcs to black people.

>>96030072
Since some journalists thought they were black.

>>96098442
It is a reference to a recent meme involving a sub-standard writer trying to belittle the writing of one Hideo Kojima.

There's a bugbear living under the street
And he's, looking for a tourist to beat
Someone to mug and then probably eat
He'll get you at another time
Cause this here is the end of the line

Hags are bitches, or so they say, you gotta
Keep changing or it's all the same
So now it's, "will you please try playin' another game"
Because I, I beg you, don't you see?
Everyone's sick of D&D

Here I am in the Orcish City
Where the pigs are green and the food is gritty
Oh won't you please take me home
Here I am in the Orcish City
Where the pigs are green and the food is gritty
Take
Me
Home

https://youtu.be/daSOG3qUbtc?si=Zsr5BZGrbqXdNRI0
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII LOVE
LIVING IN ORC CITY