Thread 96536203

>While traveling to your next mission, your party sees a small fiend tooting its nose horn
What do?

No they don't.

Kill it immediately. Our GM always gets pissed when we don't bite on his little "quirk chungus le random" time wasters. Then he tries to punish us by making everything difficult and claiming his random little scrimblo was the secret key to everything, which we enjoy because otherwise his games are too easy. We have a pact to always disrespect these kinds of bullshit events because it makes the game more fun for us.
>talk to him asshole
Tried. The first time he got mad and made the game challenging, we lavished him with praise. He immediately went back to having nobodies we were polite to leap in with buffs and bullshit. We ASKED HIM TO STOP AND HE SAID NO so we made our pact and keep him perpetually butthurt. Hopefully his heart doesn't give out before the campaign ends, he actually had a throbbing forehead vein when we just gave a starving family directions to the nearest town instead of dropping everything (because yes, we were already on a time sensitive mission) to babysit them.

Offer it sweet meats and cheeses for it to follow us.

>You encounter of heated debate between a cleric of a local deity and a snail-priest. Do you join in?

>>96536372
i like my fair share of scrimblos but that sounds like an miserable game to play in

>>96536553
We like the guy outside the game, he just has this WEIRD obsession with "rewarding" us for being nice. I get the idea but your "friends" can only heroically appear so many times before you get tired of it. So now we just don't make friends and it's fun as hell since he thinks that means we need to be "punished" or whatever.
Again, he's a cool dude, just REALLY stuck on this quirk so we're just going with it.

>>96536203 (OP)
I cast banishment

>>96536203 (OP)
Throw a few coins in his hat.

>>96536456
>Do you join in?
it's not my place, but I'd consider sitting down and listening to their points.

>>96536203 (OP)
>fiend
Immediate execution. We cannot tolerate any amount of demons on this corporeal plane, musical or not.

>>96536372
Unfathomably based.

>>96536203 (OP)
Detect alignment and kill if evil, same as with literally any encounter.
>it's a fiend dumbass
Yeah but my paladin doesn't have a fiend-detector.

>>96536203 (OP)
Stick our dicks inside.

>>96536203 (OP)
Toot my nose in return.

>>96536203 (OP)
The fuck is that DOOTer

We demand to know just what was in those sketchy "goodberries" our Ranger "found."

>>96536203 (OP)
Check the map again.
Must have taken a wrong turn somewhere.

>>96536203 (OP)
story shitter

>>96536203 (OP)
...oh, he dead. Poor little dude would be merc'd on sight.

But we are playing WHFRP, so that's par for the course. He would probably give everyone insanity or corruption if we listened.