Thread 96547236

Can we all just admit the Emperor was kinda stupid?
>Literally his only scientific skill of note was his psyker knowledge, which was heavily flawed and based on false assumptions
>He relied on Luna’s geneticists to make his supersoldiers and Mar’s Mechanicus to make his equipment because he couldn’t do it himself
>His strategy to basically everything involved dumb brute force
>His long-term endgame strategy was an over-complicated clusterfuck with a million things that could go wrong and did
>Said endgame strategy relied on once again using another’s technology prowess and hijacking the Eldar’s webway

>>96547236 (OP)
>Can we all just admit [everything in warhammer is] kinda stupid?
Fixed.

>>96547236 (OP)
what's the problem? Sounds like a good megalomaniac villain

>>96547236 (OP)
T'au don't look like that.

>>96547236 (OP)
>Can we all just admit the Horus Heresy books were kinda stupid?
Don't have to tell me twice

>>96547236 (OP)
Yes, we all know that the people who wrote 30k and everything surrounding it should never have picked up a pen, we get it. You could have just made a cheesecake thread if you wanted to post your cow-tit tau for the upteenth time.

>>96547236 (OP)
I can but I'm not someone whose whole personality revolves around a story made up to explain why plastic army men are fighting.

>>96547236 (OP)
the fuk do you mean admit
thats the point
the only people who dont get it are the new GW guys and actual retards

>>96547236 (OP)
yes, the modern black library writers are fucking dumb.

>>96548934
You're right, I'm sorry, let me post 100% canon on-model Tau.

>>96547236 (OP)
/tg/ has been calling the Emperor an autistic unga bunga retard for literal decades, anon

>>96549200
>>96549027
>they didn't see the ancient /tg/ threads of people mocking the Emperor's retarded plan long before the HH novels hit stores
It was always shit, the novels just made it worse.

>>96548934
Blueberries are canon.

>>96551727
Anon don't give people ideas

>>96551758
Not that kind.

>>96547236 (OP)
You mean Black Library Writers?

>>96547236 (OP)
I dunno, ask /hhg/
Or post more blueberry tau tits, your OP is boring as stale piss without em.

>>96551758
Newfag detected

Do Taufags overplay their performance in the Damocles Crusade?

>>96551758
>>96554958
Juice the Tau, DO IT NOW!

>>96555049
What's there to overplay they got fucked up, even the Tau agree.

>>96555072
>literally talks about them brapping all day
>focus on "uuuhh big tits and milk, man"
What a fucking uncultured pleb whoever made that pic. Proper response would've been "I can dry my hair on your farts".

>>96555257
I'll think I'll just stick with the tits, thanks.

>>96555203
What? The Tau won their first contact with the Imperium when they were at their weakest.
>no significant worlds lost, all the lost worlds were stuff conquered from the Imperium in the first place
>gain fuckton of defectors and knowledge about the new enemy
>successfully defend Dal'yth, to the point where the Guard is forced to make a break for the space port to retreat and only the Inquisition and Space Marines are still dithering about by the time the news about Behemoth comes
>do all this before they even had an actual wartime navy, just lightly armed merchant ships
>in retcon-lore they somehow do his without access to FTL technology (lmao)
>also Aun'Va keikaku'd the whole thing

>>96547236 (OP)
>a character is only as smart as the writer
>a good writer can hide/overcome this by knowing their limitations and leaving things to the imagination of the reader
>early 40k lore was vague enough to allow for this in regards to the emperor and his plan/lack of a plan
>nowadays it's just a parade of idiocy from start to finish, because its mostly written by idiots for greedy idiots.
And that's the long and short of it.

>>96551727
Only if Kir'qath put out. And it was not confirmed.

>>96555049
Eh, they performed pretty well overall. Fighting the Imperium off, well ok, stalling them long enough for the Imperium to have bigger things to worry about is still pretty impressive for what they were back then.

>>96555293
>What? The Tau won their first contact with the Imperium when they were at their weakest.
Weakest is a stretch. It was their first serious war, before that they really hadn't any enemy that didn't just control just a couple of worlds.
>do all this before they even had an actual wartime navy, just lightly armed merchant ships
Huh? When did they retcon out the fact that the Imperial Navy was the only part of the Crusade that consistently performed well over the Tau?

>>96547236 (OP)
Point of Order: delegation is an essential part of any leadership role especially when it's over a group that numbers, conservatively, in the billions perhaps even trillions. A strictly hypothetical non-retarded emperor would still be delegating taskes that keep the Empire running. Indeed, he might be delegating a lot more as one of the Emperor's failings was an unwillingness to listen to and trust in his subordinates

>>96547236 (OP)
The emperor saw the future and used a fucktarded combination fatalism philosophy to come to the conclusion that everything is fucked but he can beat fate if he blitzkriegs the galaxy hard enough.

>>96555604
What does Tau milk taste like?

>>96555613
>Huh? When did they retcon out the fact that the Imperial Navy was the only part of the Crusade that consistently performed well over the Tau?
They didn't, I meant that the Tau "navy" was complete shit at the time (the Warsphere did the most damage in that campaign by far) yet they still managed to contest the naval front and even bring in reinforcements.

>>96555796
Fair. And True.

>>96555796
The Taros campaign is a better indicator of Tau Vs Imperial fleet interactions.

Also, people forget that a LOT of the Tau's biggest vessels pull double duty. They aren't running off of old school maratime logic using barely-maintained stone cathedrals of lost-tech. They've actually got fairly normal scifi ships, in that they don't need to be kilometers long without also carrying troops and supplies in bulk.

>>96555049
The general way I put it is this:

The Imperium could’ve wiped out the Tau during Damocles, but not with the forces they had. They would’ve had to commit major resources, since they pretty much got stopped cold at the first Sept world they encountered, and that was with several space marine companies and Titan legions. Those are not resources that you idly commit, and they would’ve had to commit much more of them to stand a chance of wiping out the Tau. But, at Damocles, they could theoretically do it if they were willing to fight that pyrrhic war.

But now? Absolutely no. The Imperium couldn’t wipe out the Tau at all now. The Tau are too big and too advanced and the Imperium is too weakened. They might still be a small faction, but they’re a very dense faction with disproportionate development and resources relative to their territory, and they’re an exponentially growing threat.

Essentially, the Imperium is playing “wide” and the Tau are playing “tall”. And we’re at the point where the Tau’s playstyle is beginning to catch up to and exceed the benefit’s of the Imperium’s.

I like big fat Tau tits as much as the next guy but the move towards more human-like eyes, even by GW, as opposed to the purely red ayyy lmao eyes they used to have bothers me.

>>96549216
>>96556329

What would a human need to do for the Tau to get permission for bareback breeding mating sex with Tau females. Like, would it be like earning a medal? If I take a bullet for an ethereal do I get permits for a specific caste I want?

>>96559282
Real answer? Nothing, they'd never let you near a female ever. More fun answer? Save an Ethereal's life probably.

So, how much more knowledge did the Imperium have at that time? Because it seems like despite the Age of Strife it they kept a fair bit and even preserved the scientific method at the time. It is amusing to think the technobarbarians from the Age of Strife may have been better at preserving knowledge and technology than the Imperium.

>>96560025
A lot of this can be blamed on the Treaty of Mars. The Adeptus Mechanicus would've naturally been overtaken over time by natural innovation and technological progress...had the Emperor not put them in charge of the Imperium's technology. But the Emperor foolishly assumed that his short-term needs for equipment and weaponry outweighed the long-term drawbacks of being technologically stagnant.

>>96560042
The mechanicus also wasn't technologically stagnant at that point either. That principle is a post-heresy thing.
Besides, he also had competitors poised to take them out, but the heresy forced the high lords to acknowledge the Mechanicus as an Adeptus.

>>96560025
Reeeallly they didn't anon. Save for a handful of Donut Steel factions who may have held on to past glories, the only real people who cared to preserve things were the Sigilites.
Think Conan the Barbarian, but sitting on the ruins of the Xeelee sequence universe.
The Techno Barbarians had scattered lore and learnings and technologies. But it's less "we've researched and developed this" and more "we found this under a pile somewhere. I see funny colours and make these camera things go fuzzy when I shoot it, but it kills good."
Zero standardization, just cobbling together what works well enough to let you thump the other guy before he thumps you.
But because it's Terra, there's just so much high scifi stuff lying around, that the barbarians could reliably field nukes.

At best, they were modern 40k tier in societal development. At worst, mad max.

>>96555257
Honestly it's weird there isn't any brap fetish art of tau, at least I haven't seen it

Which caste should have the largest milkers? And the smallest ones?

>>96547275
Based and first posted

>>96562131
The obvious answer is Water because they engineer themselves to appeal to their diplomatic charges, but I feel the more fun answer is Earth.

>>96547236 (OP)
The Emperor is stupid because his biggest weakness was being human and thus able to make stupid human decisions be faulty in logic.

>>96560048
>The mechanicus also wasn't technologically stagnant at that point either.
Oh no, not at all. They were stagnant as hell prior to the Emperor signing that deal with them. It was only after the Emperor started pulling strings and manipulating the Mechanicum from a distance to encourage more rational leaders to rise to power that they started to shrug off the dust and ashes of several thousand years of stagnation in their religion surviving under the surface of Mars. There was the chance that eventually enough pragmatic techpriests would rise to power that when the Emperor finally decided to purge their religion, the majority of the Mechanicum would side with him and the resulting civil war would not become too catastrophic.

Then the Heresy happened, and ironically all the open-minded techpriests he quietly supported in their rise to authority revealed they never believed he was the Omnissiah and knew he was bullshitting them from day one. They all sided with Chaos because they despised him for trying to deceive them. Then they nuked Mars back to the stone age and fucked off to create the Dark Mechanicus. The Emperor almost unfucked the Mechanicum but overplayed his hand, rushed the wrong people to power while deceiving them, and accidentally fractured the Mechanicum into two factions: absolutely psychotic, religiously insane techpriests, and absolutely psychotic, fedora tipping atheist techpriests. The reasonable centrists between these two extremes were all wiped out in the war.

The Emperor as he currently exists is stupid because he has the unfortunate position of being written by stupid people.
Simple as.
The Emperor as he originally was was more of a Christ allegory.
And because the people writing him now are resentful as well as stupid that only compounds the problem.

If we had a modern Chesterton or the like, someone who knows, understands and can write matters of faith and he were to write the Emperor, then he would not be stupid.
Until that happens, the stupid will continue.
My advice? Invest in a newspaper subscription, we might be here a while

>>96564430
>The Emperor as he currently exists is stupid because he has the unfortunate position of being written by stupid people.
He was always written by stupid people. He was always stupid.
>The Emperor as he originally was was more of a Christ allegory.
He was originally just some dead warlord on a throne in Rogue Trader (AKA 1e) that paved the biggest Empire in human history and is now just background detail that all these soldiers swear to and fight for. When they introduced the Horus Heresy as an event in the timeline in 2e, he was not a saint that sacrificed himself nobly for humanity, he was a father who was so tragically human at heart that he could not bring himself to kill his own son until it was almost too late, and his wounds were the price for his weakness. Quite Shakespearean, not very Christian. This was a purposeful writing decision, since they also made him a militant atheist from the early days of the lore.

>>96562517
O'pai is a good girl.

>>96555780
Blue.

>>96559282
>bareback breeding mating sex with Tau females

Since both anatomies are entirely alien to one another, you would expect offspring to be utterly un-viable. Meaning you could fuck one all you want and you'd never get a baby. Since it's reproduction that is caste-limited, you could assume that Tau might take on a Human fuckbuddy to tide their urges over whilst they're still looking for a reproductive partner of their own species.

>>96547236 (OP)
We have writers who are assholes and want to ruin the concept of him but the outcome is still someone who did everything he could to shift a doomed galaxy even if he had to rely on others to do so. And it's always those others who fuck up his plans because Chaos used them. Or because they're morons, like in the case of Erda.

>>96568839
>you would expect offspring to be utterly un-viable
Not very human of you!

...

>>96569301
>flatty Tau

Air caste?

>>96547236 (OP)
Yes, but as the emperor himself notes, he was humanities best and only option for survival.

>>96569013
>We have writers who are assholes and want to ruin the concept of him
Worse, you had writers who legitimately thought they were doing a good job but still produced stories that made him look like a clueless retard.

>>96568839
Maybe hybrids could exist? Aren't all the humanoid races created by the Old Ones? So they might have enough genetic similarities.

>>96569614
They're all supposed to be flat according to the fluff. They don't actually have mammary glands despite evolving from a sheeplike animal. I think they were birds at one point, then they evolved into some weird flightless sheep-emu thing before becoming sapient. That might have been due to genetic tampering by some Eldar, or they might have evolved naturally and the Eldar just gave the Ethereals their mind control pheromones.

>>96570234
The Necrontyr were humanoid, tho.

>>96570282
They weren't originally. They used to be big crab things. Their robot skeleton bodies were made to resemble the Old Ones' creations so they could fight better on the planet they'd terraformed.

>>96570260
>They're all supposed to be flat according to the fluff.
Proof?

>>96570234
>Aren't all the humanoid races created by the Old Ones?
Eldar, Krorks, Jokero, and Slann are all Old One creations. But Tau are so young as a species that I would think that the Old Ones were long gone by the time they evolved. For that matter, humans are in the same boat. The War in Heaven happened back when the only mammals on earth were little shrew fellas hiding from dinosaurs ffs.

>>96570387
I think they retconned the Jokero into regular orangutans that were turned into cyborgs by humans during the dark age of technology.

>>96570387
>Eldar, Krorks, Jokero, and Slann are all Old One creations.
And Hrud. And Humans (all but confirmed by the fact the Emperor discovered the alien blueprints for the creation and terraforming of ancient Earth in alien ruins dating back millions upon millions of years and promptly destroyed all evidence of it in an autistic rage) but humanity's evolution was not properly guided because the Old Ones were wiped out after laying the initial biological lifeseed that would set the general course of life on Earth to lead to humanity. So humanity's been on something of a weird, haphazard evolutionary growth pattern rather than reaching its full potential the way Eldar and so on were able to do with the Old Ones guiding them.
The Tau seem to be just another random alien race born by chance, but it's heavily, heavily implied that the Craftworld Eldar genetically engineered the Ethereals to unite the four warring castes and lead them into an age of technological growth and unity.

>>96570309
Stop spreading misinformation. The 10th ed codex has a picture of a fleshy Necrontyr.

The 7th ED codex also has picture of fleshy Necrontyr bowing to the C'tan.

The trailer of the Silent King has hieroglyphics of Necrontyr. They were humanoids

>>96547236 (OP)
Yes Emps plans were stupid, you happy?

For real though, half the time its writers not knowing how to write someone who is supposed to be extremely smart and hyper competent. Will say just giving Emps some leeway here, he had to make do with alot of things considering where humanity was at the time he emerged. Warp storms cut off intergalactic travel, ai uprising, daemons and other warp predators turning psykers into portals on worlds that didn't purge their psyker populations and a apocalyptic earth ruled over by barbaric warlords.

For all Emps faults lets be frank, still a hell of alot better then whatever else considering the Mechanicum if they could help it would probably just do the same shit they already did just without Big E there to get them to arm up the Imperium to reunite everyone, fairly sure the Mechanicum would have just linked back up with Forge worlds and killed or enslaved everyone else.

>>96570621
I feel like there is just nothing of value added to the setting by making humanity Old Ones creations. This doesn't say anything interesting about humanity as a species, it doesn't really have any bearing on humanity's place in the 41st millennium. It's just the generic sci-fi progenitor race trope being overused. It's relevant for the Eldar because they were the designated inheritors of the Webway and the galaxy, but why humans? I hate it.

>>96570844
Humanity's 'genes' may have been planted on Earth by the Old Ones, but humanity's development into a civilization has been entirely its own. The Old Ones didn't help humanity grow and evolve, since they were already wiped out, so instead humanity had to find its own path.

>>96564430
>And because the people writing him now are resentful as well as stupid that only compounds the problem.
It's impossible to unsee this. The 30k writers had bizarre psychological complexes about their dads, idk.

One of the appeals of original 40k, much like old anime or old science fiction or fantasy books, was creating gonzo situations and letting realistic human instincts play out inside them. The 30k writers redditized it.

>>96570933
You are forgetting the Cabal.

>>96571121
Technically the Cabal were just puppets of Chaos from the start, so I guess you could argue Chaos was the force guiding human evolution in the long run... But then that's forgetting the Void Dragon shard on Mars, who was guiding and accelerating humanity's technological progress by subconsciously influencing all of humanity on Earth.

>>96570260
Hmm, I don't believe you.

>>96570933
Which means, from a writing perspective, there was no reason to have the Old Ones responsible at all. The outcome is the same either way: humanity develops on it's own. Chekov's gun is a concept for a reason.

We should kill all Warhammer posters.

>>96570933
Isn't there some whole 'original life planted by Old Ones, but grown up and shaped under the watchful eye of the Necrons/C'Tan on Mars so was influenced and shaped as a species by both sides' thing?

>>96570260
>He doesn't know

Have you ever wondered why there's so much Big Titty Tau girl art?

>>96571046
I've talked with people on here who think the only 'realistic' way to act is to be a self-indulgent, purile twat who considers themselves the centre of reality and the only thing that matters within it.
The unfortunate reality is that you'll always write what you know and due to the current batch of gatekeepers who have mastery over publishing, we have writers who know nothing but themselves and don't even know that particularly well.

>>96547236 (OP)
Don't read black library novels and you won't have these issues.

>>96572482
>/tg/ dies almost instantly

>>96573336
Stupid O'pai.

>>96573336
And that's a good thing!

>>96570634
>Stop spreading misinformation.
>The 10th ed codex
Lol
>The trailer of the Silent King
Lmao
>The 7th ED codex
Everything since 5ED doesn't count

I noticed nobody posted the best blueberry artwork so I'll have to do it myself

>>96575318
>Tau GoldShip

Radar Alert
Radar Alert
Human Signal
Detected

>>96547236 (OP)
hes a fictional character from a long running franchise, he's whatever the current writer says

giving big E actual characterization was a mistake, he works best as a set piece for the setting, the corpse god entombed on his golden throne, forever pushing back the forces of chaos but doomed to fail eventually.

Can love bloom?

>>96577713
FLATTY FLATTY NO TAU UDDERS TO GRABBY

>>96575055
Kindly eat shit

>>96573149
>>96570260
I like my Tau like my Sisters of Battle: white hair and big ol titties.

I recall some time ago a few drawanons made several images of earth caste tau girls that were pretty good.

>>96580043
The titanic tits don't manifest until you put a baby in 'em.

>>96547236 (OP)
Da 'umies is choppy and shooty. Ya blueberry gits is only shooty! Wotz up wit dat?

>>96582137
It's gotta be a human baby, though.

>>96582137
>>96582548
Careful, they're fertile.

>>96580039
Yes, but she and her entire race are going to serve them in the IoM.

>>96581728
>Tau girl in SoB armor
Let's go.

>>96582994
>Tau slave girls

Nice.

>>96583015
The Emperor is fine with Xenos that serve humanity. The Tau will serve, and it will be for their Greater Good, so everyone wins! Now we need to put Eldar women in SoB armor.

>>96570234
>So they might have enough genetic similarities.
This MIGHT have been true before, a long time ago, when you even had stuff like an Half-Eldar Marine.

Nowadays? Not really..

Realistic Tau women.

>>96583635
The Xeno thread had a bunch of good shit.

>>96583635
>human eyes

No, I don't like it. We must RETVRN to the fully red ayyyy eyes.

>>96583641
The red eyes was always a fan art thing. I don't mind it but personally it makes them look too much like Duros from Star Whores.

>>96583641
>>96583655
I like both red and white sclera like how people have different irises.

>>96582173
https://youtu.be/-knHguBTfXI?si=vQVQvscyWCgm8ajX

>>96560042
I believe the Emperor assumed he could deal with Mechanicum after the mankind was unified, and the Treaty was just a temporary appeasement to get them to play ball during the Crusade.

>>96584026
Given that there was an increasing atheistic trend on Mars right before the Heresy, I imagine he was also working in secret to undermine their religion in hopes that by the time things were in place he'd have enough supporters who didn't care about the dogma that wiping the rest of them out wouldn't be difficult

>>96570621
I'm pretty sure those ruins were from some DAoT civilization, not millions of years old.

Old lore also had Necrons fucking with human evolution to create pariahs.