Thread 96724769

>shit post fixes fantasy
>unironically the most authentic character that has lived many times in life
>last 30 years of fantasy can’t do this

You don’t need 3 pages back stories and complicated cursed / destined outsider but secretly touched characters.

Human male wants something relatable but is denied it and go…

>>96724769 (OP)
Nogames aren't allowed to have opinions on hobbies they only engage with through twitter discourse.

You don't need to post ai slop xitter screencaps either but here we are

what's so great about this?

if I was this guys GM I would be like "what do I even do with this guy?". he is a blank slate. how is he so good at fighting? why is he adventuring if he would rather drink instead? how does he even connect to the events of the game?

you would be RPing being an alcoholic while other players would get their sisters kidnapped, avenging their friends - you know, having cool stuff happen? you fucked yourself out of fun.

oh! but not really you didn't! because you would know this if you weren't a nogame fucking faggot

>>96724995
A good Gm doesn't need to leech off player backstories to make an interesting story.

>>96725020
Erm, actually the GM shouldn't be writing a story at all, sweaty, it's called a role playing GAME not a role playing NOVEL.

>>96724995
This.

>>96725079
imaaaginaaaAAAAaation

>>96724995

This guy makes his group play his failed novel. RPGs are strategy / problem solving simulations not theater tales.

>>96724769 (OP)
Here's a fun tidbit. The best way to be a character is "Be mysterious" and have hardly anything to share about your backstory.
>then make it up as you go to add fluff to campaign

>>96725077

Ok make me care about your demon touched furry as much as I can picture Robert thwarting the thieves guild bc their chaos undermined ale production or him foiling an elaborate plot simply by not trusting casters or being racist against orcs in the city and care about him getting his milk maid. Show us what you got.

>>96724769 (OP)
>greatsword
look at this storryshitting charactershitting weaponshitting freakshitter and laugh.

>>96725140
you can make a perfectly imaginative character without having to rely on fantasy races.

That said I dislike players like the one in OP and the fact he posted an AI imagereally drives home that he has a low effort playstyle

The framing is shut, but the idea that a character with a strong goal or motivation that implies a background is better than character with a long drawn out background is actually pretty good. "Why is this character going to go on adventures," says a lot more, and is more immediately gamable, than "what did this character do up until this point."

>"DMs hate this-"
why do we want to do things the other people in the table hate again
aren't we here to have fun

>>96724769 (OP)
I know this is troll post designed to make me mad, but words cannot describe how much I hate both sides of this retarded "idpol" bullshit.

>>96725241
That’s well and good for the average adventuring campaign but sometimes the DM wants more like maybe a character with ties to the community

>Identify as NPC normie character
>Dedicate 0 time to prep to him
>Normie has fun just hitting things with sword
PCs like this are fine, but add as much as an NPC. I'd rather bring in an interesting player

>>96725287
The idea of fun for a lot of people who don't play games is to shitpost

>>96725287
Because people they wholesale invented in their heads are having fun WRONG, so to combat this heinous onslaught of [insert ideology here] they must be as obnoxious as possible to people having nothing to do with evil [insert ideology here] they are both crusading against, and, ironically, propagating.

>>96724769 (OP)
Digging the non-Cleric/Paladin/Warlock religious person, just wish they specified which god(s)
>You don’t need 3 pages back stories
Last game I ran a player sent me a 24 page document about their character's backstory which also included their parent's backstory, their siblings backstory, the back story of the realm of hell they're from, the back story of the heavenly realm opposing that hell realm, and the back story of their signature weapon.

>>96724769 (OP)
The point of having a complex backstory is it makes your players think from the perspective of someone who went through those events when role playing instead of just playing themselves in a different setting.

>>96725287
There are people who spent their formative years on this website and therefore can only view social interactions in an antagonistic way

>>96724995
PCs are supposed to be super hero equivalents in dnd or other stuff. You don't NEED to use a character's backstory though. There's nothing wrong with a straightman or a supporting character

>>96725307
That's true, it comes down to what kind of game you're playing. I've also found that the character you created also inevitably changes once the rubber hits the road and the game actually starts, so broad, nonspecific things in your background are usually better than verbose, hyper specific things, so we have some holes to fill in later.

>>96724769 (OP)
Pretty sure the majority of DMs would prefer this dude over the theater fag who brings a 3-page backstory and gets mad when none of it is incorporated into the story because that by itself would be an entire campaign or even read to begin with because the DM has more stuff to do than to read a player's novel pitch only for them to not know how their fucking abilities works for 10 sessions in a row.

>>96725367
>Last game I ran a player sent me a 24 page document about their character's backstory which also included their parent's backstory, their siblings backstory, the back story of the realm of hell they're from, the back story of the heavenly realm opposing that hell realm, and the back story of their signature weapon.
At this point I would start asking poignant questions like "how the fuck is your guy a level 1 rando?"
But honestly, as a GM I actually like when players inform me of their character's own corner of the world, it makes them more engaged and shows they're not gonna be a "full attack every round" zombie.

>>96724769 (OP)
You should be castrated and left in the woods for shitposting MAGAt Xitter screencaps.

>>96725155
how is it "my failed novel" if we are playing THEIR character's backstory elements coming to bite them in the ass? you can do that in any tstyle of play, be it hex crawl or more modern style of play. you retarded youtube baby.

>>96725239

Yeah character commissions are so much better.

This is just as vapid as tumblr making a character whose main personality is side cut and lesbianism. The right-wing is literally shitposting themselves into lobotomies.

>>96725079
I'm going to play an insectoid warforged that can't talk and only communicates with clicks and sudden acts of violence.

>>96725287

Bc a DM is now a story shitter making people play their failed novel for them and it’s something the hobby really needs to liberate itself from theater kids and creative writing majors at the community college.

I started playing 92 and it was a system / simulated world we were diving in to experiment with. The stories just emerged from putting obstacles in the world and letting engineering and history nerds theory craft around or out of.

Notice all the posts are complaining about OPs playstyle? That’s a whole lot of wrong bad fun.

>>96725307
Like having 4 siblings, a family farm, and a milk maid you can’t pay the dowry for?

Sorry it’s not some gender queer otherkin polycule book store but it’s actually relatable.

>>96725403
you name it I did it. backstory, no-backstory, extensive backstory... I find any character that fits the story, even loosely, is more fun to play as, than someone who doesn't fit.

your playing L5R? don't make a peasant just to be different. the GM gives you plot-hooks? take the bait, and make the character feel like he has to take it even if he doesn't want to. work with the GM.

people like OP (if he is being serious and not troling) don't understand that this is a cooperative story game, not a contest who will have the most fun at the least of effort and at the GM expense

>>96724995
>how is he so good at fighting?
He fights a lot.

>why is he adventuring if he would rather drink instead?
Ale doesn't pay for itself and adventuring is a good way to pay for ale

>how does he even connect to the events of the game?
Destiny frequently calls upon those least prepared for it. Events are happening and Robert happens to be there.

Honestly, it sounds like you're a pretty shitty game master if can't work a level 1 fighter into your failed fantasy novel of a campaign.

>>96725367

Kicked.

>>96725534
ngl im intrigued

>>96725531
I blame the decline in educational standards.
>>96725506
Tell me what's wrong with each one of them without sounding like a schizophrenic retard. I'll wait.

>>96725370

It doesn’t work and everyone being special doesn’t work.

>>96725418

One would think, the. You see these comments

>>96725546
omfg your gatekeeping that old math shit "let's jam Bladerunner in there" crap

The problem is not playing a simple character; it's doing so with a "heh, I'm stickin' to 'em..." attitude and bad faith intent.

>>96725546
As a DM with three failed fantasy novels completed, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t come back to ttrpgs at least a little bit to have an audience for my ideas and stories. Still, seems like my players have fun despite.

>>96725590
>Tell me what's wrong with each one of them without sounding like a schizophrenic
Well the forst guy is gay. The devil dude is also gay. The furry is UNBELIEVABLY gay. The fag with the whip? Gay. The orc is practically touching himself at all this gayness (because he is gay). The cyborg is gay. The burn victim is a lesbian and the the last guy is just a white-haired elf in all brown.

>>96725580
the post that you're replying to suggests he's a far better GM than you are a player, if you have ever even played a game. Seriously, you learn that wanting money is a bad character motivation after your first ever campaign because DND characters will obtain generational wealth the first time they find plate armour.

>>96725580

There are 12 degrees of exchange before ale is served past a set of lips and every level is protected by swords. You need that sword in Roberts hand, you want that sword in his hand. No order no Reddit, I mean ale.

>>96725462

Hahaha you nerds are so ass blasted that a dumb mouth breather wrote something better in 1 paragraph than all your theater kid shit.

>>96725637
Thought so.
Also, you do know you can quote the entire post, right? No need to omit the ickybad "R word". Don't worry, we're all fellow nigger retard faggots here.

>>He fights a lot.
who? why? if so, how is he a lvl 1 rando?
>>Ale doesn't pay for itself and adventuring is a good way to pay for ale
just get a job you bum
>>Destiny frequently calls upon those least prepared for it. Events are happening and Robert happens to be there.

and I just happen to cum inside of your mom's mouth and ass, because I'm not the hero everyone needs, I'm the hero who everyone deserves

ok I see, you play a special snowflake personal stand-in marry sue and no body want to play with you.

>>96725613
This. I don't think "I'm a guy, from the nearby village," is a bad origin story for certain types of games. It'd fit in easily into something like Blackmoor.

But it's clear by context that the player is bringing that origin story into a campaign that's intended to have more interesting PCs, with more interesting goals, and then going "haha, I'm refusing to engage in the game to do something off genre." It's literally just a stupid rightoid coded version of the snowflake tiefling with 24 pages of backstory: you're just doing your own thing rather than the actual game you're playing, except at least the snowflake guy is invested in playing enough to write 24 pages.

>>96725606
This is a 4chan thread about a twitter screencap. It's pure and concentrated nogames energy so a few dozen retarded comments doesn't mean anything.

>>96725192
>foiling an elaborate plot simply by not trusting casters
>being racist against orcs in the city
None of those traits can be evinced from the above description

>>96725580
One adventure, for even a 1st level fighter, can probably pay for several months worth of living expenses, especially if you want to live cheaply and your only hobby is drinking. What incentive does this character have to constantly risk his life and travel with the party, especially if he's going to be spending days or more away from a tavern? Why not simply take a job as a guard for a wealthy person? I feel that would be a good way to hook him into adventures, but that requires you to establish that and for that person you're guarding to be present in the adventure.

TLDR - It needs more thought to justify why he is traveling with the party.

>>96725818
Haha but you see he's racist against """orcs"" haha you get it? haha you get it? haha you get it? haha you get it? haha you get it? haha you get it?

>>96725444
I do too, but at least leave something to the imagination and leave a little room to grow, and also don't have your back story be so all encompassing of the setting and other party members.

Sounds fair to me, he'll get his busty milk maid by level 2 tops.

>>96724769 (OP)
>>96724995
Ordinary man pushed into things greater than him. its actually a classic trope.

>>96725703
I don't give a fuck about D&Dogshit characters and don't play it because I'm not some bandwagoning stooge.
I give a shit about seeing you retards performing live enshittifcation of the board with your low-effort, ragebait refuse you dredge up and come farm (You)s with.

Kindly fuck off.

>>96725531
>this is JUST like when Voldemort…
These faggots are literally what /pol/ made fun of tumblr for a decade ago.

>>96725757
It's funny because most GMs I know ask for complex backstories not cause they personally care, but because it lets them be lazy and mine those backstories for custom made hooks and incentives so the players feel invested in the game, rather than invent a plot that the players may or may not give a shit about. Which you think all the people whining about "not wanting to read your failed novel" would want since it's THEIR story instead, but then they turn in intentionally lazy and lacking backstories just to spite the GM while only spiting themselves in the end when they get inevitably bored with the other party members getting adventures focusing on their goals and shit instead.

>>96725891
So like the faggot you are replying to you are too retarded to play any tabletop game.

>>96725580
None of that is in the original post, especially the "he likes fighting" part, we have no idea how he even know how to use a greatsword or how did he got one as the 5th son of a farmer.

Shit opinions? In my pol ragebait thread? Well I never...

>>96725909
You know there's more than D&Dogshit out there right? No, probably not.

>>96724769 (OP)
Backstory should be
>How did you get your current set of skills (background)
>Why are you in this adventure (motivation)
>Some colorful details to expand later (flavor)
That post is all details and no useful information, like all frosting and no cake.

>>96725951
I know D&D is not the only game to have the issue OP is talking about. You on the other hand only know of the taste of cock.

Failed twitter journalist posting their idiot posts here, repeating some meme thats been on tg for literally over a decade.

haha op pays 5 bucks a month to use twitter

>>96724769 (OP)
And how this penniless returd could afford weapon than in most of human history would be worth more than family shitfarm? You think steel of good enough quality and blacksmiths that could work with it grow on trees?

Also, that backstory screams 4-5 INT tops in at least 3 places, either of player or character, and unless that dude wants to play 1st level NPC class minion of local knight he is better off dumping it straight into trash pile and come up with something less stone age next time.

>>96724769 (OP)
This is basically the backstory of the iconic Fighter of Pathfinder, Valeros.

>>96726060
You don't get it man, this piss poor farmer can have sword training because the character sheet says so.

>>96724769 (OP)
While three pages are a bit much, as a few bullet points on a character's past, inciting incident, and present can do the trick better, it's good to have some investment in the backstory.

Sure the DM can provide something better, but being able to integrate the characters in the world is neat and as a player, I love seeing when the DM takes a backstory plot hook.

>>96725935
Exactly mate. OP isn't a backstory... it's a LACKstory. Ha ha ha.

>>96725757

None of your angsty tortured wrapped up in 3 conspiracy characters are interesting or relatable. That’s the joke. Robert is much more like a genuine literary character than your mage blade who is spoken to by and elder god but everything just judges them and treats them like they are crazy.

>>96725818

Oh it absolutely does, I know Robert. I’ve grown up with Roberts, have been coached by Roberts, seen how Roberts move through the world my whole life.

>>96725757
Pretty much. With a small tweak, 'local farmboy who signed up for the town guard and turned out to be pretty good at it' is a fine backstory. Expand on the "hates alchemists and demons" bit with the time one of his guard buddies got killed dealing with some small-time alchemist who managed to summon an imp, and you've got something to build on.

The GM can toss in some alchemical monsters or demon cultists who are threatening the town, and that's all you need as an adventure hook. He might be happy drinking ale with his guard friends, but he's seen firsthand that cultists and monsters can't just be waited on or ignored.
Probably makes more sense if he uses a pike rather than a greatsword for a cheaper weapon to start, but no reason he can't switch weapons as he afford better gear.

A simple backstory works fine as long as the player is actually willing to think about it and engage with the world so that they have a reason why their PC is willing to risk life and limb and go on adventures, rather than sitting at the starting tavern getting drunk.

>>96725837

Bc he is invalidated from the thing he wanted the most or bc it’s a habit, he likes adrenaline, and what else is he going to do?

You don’t understand people if you think they need elaborate psychoanalysis to have motivations. Most people have habits and don’t think about changing them, they were ruts into the pathways of the world bc they went down that path the one time they had to make a decision and they wake up and do that again everyday until another big change or they die.

>>96726077
Valeros at least had some more useful data like "he adventures because he wanted to be a hero like the ones in the stories" and "he started by defeating a bandit, stealing his axe and armor, and upgrading from there"

It's fine because for glorified miniature wargames like Dungeons and Dogshit, character back stories are not necessary. You're just gonna be teleporting from dungeon to dungeon clearing rooms of bad guys anyways, don't really see why or where I'd need to write a story

>>96726313
>genuine literary character
Those have motivations for adventure. At least the mage can say the Elder God told him to go make the story happen.

>>96725367
Sounds painful for anything barring an high level campaign

>>96725768

This thread is great. OP is an authentic character to spite the seething and is an interesting topic instead of which system should I play every day.

Speaking of which campaign / system should Robert join?

>>96726441
>retarded nogames bitches about something that not even close to being a D&D issue like a faggot.

>>96725855

That guy has a perfect snoz for this post.

>>96725572
True although dicking over the DM with some fun bit of insane interaction can be engaging for everyone, even the DM

>>96726452
>Motivations for adventure
>He's so brainrotted that he can't even translate 'I love a woman who is unobtainable from my current social status, therefore I risk life and limb in the name of love' as a motivation since it's apparently too subtle for him.
Here let me help you; he wants a big titty milk maid mommy and that costs at least 1000 GP to purchase.
Does that help your porn-rotted brain comprehend his situation a little better?

>>96726484
That is very much how modern D&D is played by a vast majority of players. A single combat takes normies 3-5 hours, they don't have time for stories.

>>96725891

I love this thread. Let’s hear about all the Roberts?

I once played with the 1/4 Giant, the tallest halfing in his village he was a cocky, grand swordsman (fighter) in his own mind who constantly stood down threats beyond himself hoping it was his moment.

The thing that pulled it together? The player played him earnest and Barney Stinson level of denialism - he was trying to live up to all the grand tales his father would tell him to explain all his absences. Bleeding through it was so obvious his Dad was just a dead beat.

>>96726498
The fact that he couldn't include something so simple in his twitter post makes me think that yes, this guy doesn't know how to craft a good backstory or character, he just want to check some boxes.

>>96725901

Dumb, This is at least based on a piece of culture, its supposed to impose things on you from your ancestors, the joke when it’s Voldemort is that’s a shadow of actual culture.

>>96724995
What does any of this gay shit have to do with looting dungeons and killing monsters?

>>96725935

Did you like when Disney went back and explained how he got the name Solo and gold dice?

>>96725239
And you can imagine being a fantasy race, which is fun. It's not "rely". It's "I want to". No other reason is required.

>>96726593
If you're putting emphasis in the fact you're one of many son of a farmer, yes, I'm curious were your equipment and non-farming skill came from.

>>96725159
Sorry, players are required to submit backstories. Best of luck finding a game, though.

>>96725287
faggot

>>96725307
What community? The game takes place in the dungeon.

>>96725355
You are having fun wrong.

>>96726586
that your mom is a whore and your dad sells her to niggers for gang bangs cheap

>>96726630
The place where you buy equipment, supplies, etc.

>>96726010

Skills? Chad son of a farmer
Motivation? Find his place in the pantheon that beats watching a 1st born son marry Evelyn / protect systems of order that produce things
Flavor? Hates bad things, likes good things; ie. Simple, earnest, wholesome, doesn’t ask big questions but gets most of the right answers.

Why are you all so bad at this? Modern fantasy is terrible and poisoning all of you.

Good writing isn’t weaving together 17 subplots and allegory for modernity, its presence, place, atmosphere, transporting to how the moment unfolds not the plot details the moment reveals. It’s understanding inanimate things can be the subject of a sentence not just constant he heard, she saw, they noticed.

>>96726641
Traveling merchants in the dungeon, or everything is crafted or found by the players.

>>96726642
The fact you need to actually fix the character bio for him is sad.
>Skills? Chad son of a farmer
That's not for wielding a greatsword, but it does give you a plus to harvesting.

>>96726642
Better question, why are you so bad at this? Your character is shit and cringe.

>>96726653
>Traveling merchants in the dungeon
Those guys are the community then, if you offend them they wont sell you shit and you starve to death. You better have a nice face in the party.

>>96726666
Nope, not community. Randomly generated and they stop existing when you leave the floor. They can't be harmed and they can't be offended. The only possible interactions are purchasing and selling. Can't storyshit.

>>96726642
Jizus Christ it's like he cant think at all! what a retard! ahahahaha

>>96726678
What an awful game and shit GM, let's play Gloomhaven instead.

>>96726686
Can't leave and can't choose not to play.

>>96726353 you are dipping too much into this >>96726593

>>96726698
In that case I'm fucked. Time to sabotage the game as much as I can by making the table into a living hell like gamers of yore.

>>96726713
Won't work :)

>>96726358
>Bc he is invalidated from the thing he wanted the most or bc it’s a habit, he likes adrenaline, and what else is he going to do?

By adding more to the character's motivations other than what was originally in post your are also saying that that much backstreet is not enough.

>>96726716
>:)
kys

>>96726721
made you reply :)

>>96726733
made you reply :)

>>96726720
I can guarantee you that retard did not see the irony

>>96725866
That's way too much shit to have happened by level 4. A list like that should be level 8.

>>96726701
Luke knows how to pilot an X-Wing because he wanted to enlist as a pilot. That's from the original movie.
Explaining that your farmboy was singing up for the local guard and that's why he's skilled with weapons is the most bare-bones explanation possible.

The benefit of a simple backstory is being able to expand on the basics as needed. Refusing to ever expand on the basics or add more detail when prompted just demonstrates that you've missed the point entirely.

No. Your character's """"""story""""""" is whatever happens to him during the game.

>>96726788
Yeah, that's why his backstory is whatever happen before the game started.

>>96726575
>actually it’s based when *we* related pop culture to infantile meme politics
Oh

No.

>>96726776
You're all overlooking the most basic fact. You're so busy trying to establish why he's good with a great sword that you're forgetting the most important fact. He's level 1! He isn't good with a greatsword at all! he fucking sucks with it, it's a small miracle that he can even lift it up and swing it as clumsily as he does, because again, he's LEVEL 1!

>>96726586

Exactly. The hobby is long over due for this type of correction. My motivation is there is a whole in the ground and I need to know what’s in it, no player should act like they don’t understand that bc we are all playing a game about finding out what’s in the hole.

I started with 3e and love it but this verbose wide but shallow complexity I think was born out of the feat system and having to theory craft characters for so long. People cared a lot less about dying and playing a new character before it took 17 levels to get the character you were trying to play 3 months ago.

It's spelled "because" you brainless fucking moron. Don't reply to me ever again.

>>96726538

It is included, the person you are replying to disagrees with you. He is saying anyone needing it spelled out for them is dense and net brain rotted. He loves Evelyn but the 5th son of a farmer can’t marry her. What do you think that looks like? So failure of a dowry? Bias against his station?

>>96726817
>He isn't good with a greatsword
Then why is the first thing he said about his character "Human male fighter great sword"?

>>96726817
No, he's good with it. Fighters are proficient with all martial weapons and level 1.

>>96726838
The fact neither you nor I know is the issue. You must to have your priorities mixed up if you find more important to clarify all his lists of likes and dislikes (as if this was the character's facebook or something) over explaining that.

>>96726817
We don't have his stats, but a level 1 character even being proficient with a greatsword is ahead of the average guardsman by quite a lot. Unless he has 13 Strength or less, he is quite good with a greatsword.
That of course, is also on top of affording it, which is why I suggested a pike would be more sensible.

But again, simply training with the town guard is a sufficient enough explanation, since it would show where he got the money and where he found time to practice. It still implies he's quite talented to be able to learn how to use a weapon that most don't, but again, this is an extremely bare-bones explanation.

>"Where did you learn to fight that well?"
>"Joined the town guard. Once they saw how strong I was, they gave me the biggest sword they had"
This shouldn't be difficult. I'm not 'busy trying to establish it' because it's the easiest thing in the world to establish. That's why the bulk of my earlier post focused on actual motives for adventuring and potential reasons he'd be risking his life instead of sticking with steady work.

>>96726658

Leftism is just pretending not to know things. Yes it’s quite the query where a character eventually gets a great sword in a looting game? It’s never been done before, I’ve only ever heard of one guy getting a great sword but he had to wait until level 37.

>>96724769 (OP)
>farmer
Have fun with your simple weapon proficiency, no armor proficiency, and no starting gear, fucking poorfag loser. You want to be good a PC, make a character who's actually good at something.

>>96726872
Oh so he DOES have backstory on where he got that greatsword? How storyshitty of you!

>>96726872
You're right, that's why he needed to waste that time giving us his list of preferences instead as if he was Coldsteel.

>>96726867
No, he isn't good with it because calling him "good" is inherently comparing him to everyone else who uses one. Stand him beside a level 12 fighter and what he can do compared to the scrub. The level 1 isn't good at all.
>>96726850
proficient =/= good

Nope.

>>96726924
>proficient =/= good

>>96724769 (OP)
If I were DMing for this guy I'd come up with a cult of demon-worshipping nonce alchemists who are nevertheless the primary suppliers of ale and entrenched within the system.
I do need him to clarify, though - which god? Otherwise I'm picking one for him.

>>96726924
>uh, but compared to a grandmaster he's bad?
Yeah, that's why I said he was good, rather than great, amazing, or exceptional.
But merely being proficient and having 14+ Strength means he isn't struggling to lift it or swinging it clumsily. That's what would occur if an 8 Strength wizard tried to swing it.

There's only one God, and it's not up to the DM.

>>96724995
No games lmao

>>96726872
You're a farmer, you're poor, not even farm girls want you. You're not getting a sword as starting equipment. You can have a scythe or a pike (modified farming equipment).

>>96724995
>you would be RPing being an alcoholic
I assure you it's not just a role I play in game.

>>96726872
Rightism is just pretending to know things
How many of you are genuinely autistic and just fail to realise that your feelings aren't objective fact?

>>96726839

He just thinks it’s cool bc he is a big buff farm boy.

>Greatsword
Fucking snowflake, a longsword and shield or a spear is a proper fighting man's gear. What are you some poncy German merc who dresses in colourful poofy bullshit?

>>96726938
Holy shit, I have to teach you words too? Yeah. Good means above average. Proficient means good enough. Good enough is not the same as good.
>>96726949
Calling a level 1 good is like calling a white belt good.

>>96726867
>Actually I’m going to need a 300 history of the town to know why they have a guard.

That’s why this backstory is good. It’s highly suggestive. None of it is difficult to assume or picture. He had a relatable motivation for leaving and answering how he left is pretty clear, join a caravan guard, town guard, got recruited into an official warband or hunting party.

>>96726944

That’s evil. Pelor is king though.

>>96727012
>Holy shit, I have to teach you words too? Yeah. Good means above average. Proficient means good enough. Good enough is not the same as good.
Above average is good, you obtuse fucker, and have mechanical benefits too in game.

>>96727012
>Good means above average.
And the average person is not proficient with greatswords at all. A level 1 Fighter is better than a typical town guard in every respect. Robert is above average compared to every other farmer's son in his family with respect to wielding greatswords. Thus, he is good with a greatsword.

But more to the point, you're getting hung up on the word good and ignoring the part where merely being proficient means that he isn't clumsy or struggling to lift the greatsword. He knows how to use and swing it well enough that he can fight with it. Whether you call that good or just good enough doesn't matter, it's a level of proficiency that is beyond what the son of a farmer would normally have.

>>96724769 (OP)
men cant roleplay, they only power game and self insert their super egos

>>96724769 (OP)

Lol this thread is so Reddit. Imagine hating Robert? Bro carries your gear for you so you don’t have to admit how much that last hit took out of you, unwittingly saves your soul by burning a demon book bc all books are demonic, and puts a cloak over your naked girl bc she’s not Evelyn.

>>96727038
Pelor, lovely. It will be interesting to see our ale-swilling farmhand learn the truth of where his ale comes from, and how he responds to the divine command to dismantle the unjust LE system that keeps the masses pacified with ale.
Of course, he is motivated to replace the system with another one, one that might also produce ale, for good... but when he topples the reigning order, might it result in chaos and power struggles instead?

Lots of potential for character development there, really.

all of you people are retarded niggers

>>96727046
>>96727074
And the white belt is better than the "average" person too. How convenient you both ignored that. Could it be because we all know that a white belt is a SHIT fighter? No need to answer, that one's rhetorical because we all know the answer, even though you're too stubborn to ever admit it.

>>96727076
this largely a limitation of the male brain. very visually inclined creatures unable to get off on imagination alone, hence why most don't read their smut, they need to see it

>>96727134
You know what a white belt also have? An instructor.

Posting a twatter screenshot should get you an instant permaban.

>>96724769 (OP)
So close to perfection.
Should have been:
>Loves Ale god and all systems of order that produce ale.
And no AI

>>96724769 (OP)
> Robert
You don't even need a name until you've reached level 2. Why would anyone waste time writing a backstory when the guy could die in the first fight?

>>96727102

“Robert, how’d you know that was the Necromantic Tomb of Neverdeath?”

“The what?”

“How did you break its magical seal?”

“It wasn’t lighting so I poured the dwarfs flask on it.”

“Yeah took a while, nothing happened so I started my prayers then it went right up.”

“How’d you know to repeat a 2,000 year old sun god prayed 12 times under the 1st light?”

Robert shrugs, “It was time to pray”.

>>96727199
Checked.

>>96727212
cringe

>>96727176

Is the joke removing the comma so he loves the god of ale?

>>96725287
You're posting in a troll thread.

>>96727105
And what about Evelyn? She seems to care for status... maybe she might be (or become) more entrenched in the system than our intrepid hero initially suspects. But perhaps she us also secretly hoping that Robert will clean up his act and leave the ale be, so that she might obtain her father's blessing. Such cruel irony that he intends to marry her off to a wealthy ale merchant, instead... making money off of the ruination of others is more acceptable than becoming a victim of it.
And when the war comes, will Robert stand with his brothers or against them? Are they loyal to him or to the system?

So much conflict and drama packed in this backstory, any DM worth his salt can work with this.

>>96727221

Graphos.

>>96727236
id rather play games with people then "work" with them

>>96727236

Good stuff. These nuDMs are just lazy and Reddit.

>>96727222
Trustworthiest of them all.

>>96727258
All right, if you also don't want to put in effort, just roll up some random encounters for Robert, who even cares about, er, Emily or whatever

Any backstory I create for a level 1 will be entirely fictional. As in, when the DM tries to have my character's brothers show up, I stab them through the gut in surprise, and reveal to the party that they couldn't possibly be my brothers since I'm an only child. I merely made up the tale of having brothers because my new adventurering companions insisted on knowing more about me when we had just met. This begs the real question. Who were the men I just stabbed, who sent them here posing as my brothers, why did the person think I had brothers to begin with, and how did they even get the information that I had brothers?

>>96724769 (OP)
>garbage slop image
>post completely indistinguishable from a spam thread found here

just play the game and find the character as it goes

>>96727279

Hahaha, true Chad of a player.

>>96724787
Unironically, first post is no games.

>>96724995
>What do I even do with this guy
You don't do anything to this guy. You may a compelling dungeon and a hook. Rest takes care of itself
>Blank Slate
He's really not, there's a tons of things you know he won't do just from the basic description (like join a cult, kill human children, burn down a brewery). As for the rest the point is to make the character DURING play.
>Why is he adventuring
He likes adventuring and he it pays for his beer.
>How does he connect
He doesn't. He connects himself to events that make him Money.
>Sisters kidnapped, avenging NPC's from your backstory , Cool Stuff
This isn't cool stuff, Cool stuff happens during play
>Fucked yourself
You seem to be an expert at that but I digress.
>You would know this if you weren't a no games faggot
Replied but honestly no u applies.

>>96724995
Not everyone needs to have a deep and complex set of motivations. Not every player even wants that. Forcing your expectations on them is just going to make them lose interest. If they're not being disruptive and are happy to kill monsters and help out in everyone else's drama novel you've written who are you to complain?

>>96724769 (OP)
>that has lived many times in life
Hmmmm

>>96725901
I like how obvious he makes it that he hasn't read the books while complaining that other people don't "get it". Hell, the consistent narrative of the fellowship is about overcoming biases and stereotypes. Gimli and Legolas being clowns together, Pippin conforming to Gondor's culture, et cetera.

>>96725901
>paleolibertarian
>Monarchist
Huh??

>>96727332
retard, think before you write

nobody is arguing that backstories are the entire story. you make a little something for the GM to use in game, and the story unfolds during play. Robert fucking sucks, you are a dense nigger KYS

>>96727368
play however you want

>>96724995
>"what do I even do with this guy?
>has a family
>hates demons
>doesn't know how to turn that family and hatred of demons into motivation for a campaign
bro, "demons kidnap/kill your family" is RIGHT THERE

>>96726538
>The fact that he couldn't include something so simple in his twitter post
Meanwhile the post;
>Being his brothers field hand meant he couldn't wife up Evelyn so he left
Actual subhuman incapable of reading subtext ITT I suppose.

Oh who are we kidding, you know exactly what it means and as always 95% of any even vaguely political-adjacent discussion is progs pretending they've got very specific brain damage that stops them understanding what's being discussed so they can drag the conversation.

>>96726823
you're retarded and you don't get the problem. Needing to know what's in the hole in the ground is good motivation, and is more (and better) than the OP's post.

>>96725546
>I started playing 92 and it was a system / simulated world we were diving in to experiment with. The stories just emerged from putting obstacles in the world and letting engineering and history nerds theory craft around or out of.
If you want a "simulated world", why bother playing with a DM? Just use tables.

>>96726313
I don't play D&D, but it doesn't matter if the character is "interesting or relatable" to you, since you are not in the game.

What matters is if you are playing the game the GM is interested in running. If he's running Night's Black Agents and you show up with a teenager with emotional issues instead of a secret agent, you're a faggot. If he's running Monsterhearts and you show up with a secret agent instead of a teenager with emotional issues, you're a faggot.

It's very clear from the phrasing that the (imaginary, OP and Xitter user are both nogames) GM is not interested in running for this type of character. If you don't want to play the type of game he is running, don't play in his fucking game, faggot.

>>96725901
this retard does not understand one of the simplest stories ever

>>96724995
This is how I can tell you never GM'd.
As a GM the part that is the most difficult is working the personal story of your PCs into the campaign. A guy who can fit in anywhere, who has no drama of his own and is "Yeah, I'm down for it" is the best kind of PC since you don't have to set up a drama club shit for them.

>>96727499
I'm looking for drama. If he can't give it, then he'll get to sit in the cuck chair.

>>96727332
>He likes adventuring
He never said that, he has an extensive list of things he likes and adventuring is conspicuously absent.

>>96727461
Oh wow, you sound way too upset, is this your character?

>>96725506
nigga draw it yourself or steal a pic online you don't have to put money down on this dumb shit

>>96724995
Based

>>96727555
It also doesn't say he likes drinking ale so I guess he just likes the fucking concept of it. Shut the fuck up.

>>96727631
For someone some obsessed with defending that twitter shitpost you sure don't care about what it actually says.

>>96725462
It's our time now
Off to Bluesky with you

>loves god
Ah so you do support anachronistic, suspension of disbelief breaking modern sensibilities the same as the nonbinary teifling that inexplicably wants to fight for democracy in a feudal world.

>>96727651
I'm not that anon and I've got no dog in this fight. I just saw you being a pedantic little shitfuck and wanted to tell you to shut the fuck up.

>>96727418
Also they're all white, male and European
Not a single minority to be seen

>>96727669
You jump to defend it? What is he, your boyfriend?

>>96726010
I point out that even the most elaborate Adventure Paths don't require complex backstories.
>Age of Worms: You're broke, you hate the mayor, you're looking for work
>Shackled City: You're looking for work
>Savage Tide: This noblewoman is offering work
>Rise of the Runelords: You're novice adventurers who have arrived at this small town
>Curse of the Crimson Throne: You all hate this one old dude, and a fortune-teller is offering payback.

>>96727672
Dwarves are jews.

playing with anyone in this thread must be a fucking chore

>>96724769 (OP)
White straight Human fighters are the bread and butter of fantasy. I would rather have this kind of player/character at my table than all the furry gay shit theatre fags that dominate the hobby nowadays.

>>96727743
id rather grow up and not play games any more then play with either

>>96727606
You don't know what that word means

>>96727750
And that's your perogative, no one is stopping you

>>96727438

Yes actually. Tolkien called himself a reactionary, catholic monarchist who explained liberty comes from shared ethnicity, religion, and values. It’s actually a really old and well founded idea. The more solidarity in a society the more autonomy from the state.

>>96727480

That’s for the DM. Stop trying to act like how we played for the 1st 30 years of the hobby is alien.

>>96727661

Um the entire medieval era is defined through people’s relationship with god and religion. What do you mean?

>>96727862
And you're allowed to keep playing like that. Why are you joining "story shitter" groups if you don't want to play with them?

>>96727708

Except Robert, bro is the realist, letting everyone pick 1st from the loot pile and saving our dumb asses from succubi.

>all these dumbass takes ignoring the real life example we have in pro boxers

Top tier boxers risk their lives for yet another generation's worth of money over and over. Only the tiniest portion of them invest into moral causes.

Verification not fucking required.

>>96727847
>>96727862
>>96727881
>>96727898
lol you always write the same way

>>96727900
>Top tier boxers risk their lives for yet another generation's worth of money over and over.
What did he mean by this?

>>96727900
Boxing isn’t life threatening and mercenaries are literally a thing. Dumb ass take m8

>>96724769 (OP)
You don't need three pages of backstory or a chosen one theme, but you do need to be more interesting than me IRL if you want me to care enough about your character to treat him as anything more than a hireling.

>>96727951
We had two boxers die at the same event this year.

>>96727881
We’re talking about fantasy settings, which is implied by him choosing “human male” as if other unearthly options are available thus indicating that we’re not on earth circa 800-1400ad, so “god” is not a concept that exists. Thanks.

>>96727951
>Boxing isn’t life threatening

>>96724769 (OP)
>Has a family, including multiple brothers
>Named girl that stood him up
Plenty for the DM to work with, solid backstory.

>>96725637
>without sounding like a schizophrenic
You failed.

>>96727966
>>96727973
Everything humans engage in has the risk of death. A sport isn’t a battle for life and death. Someone dying in a boxing match is considered a major disaster of a fight and is not at all the norm. Goddamn.

>>96727998
Fuck off

>>96727998
Getting punched hard as fuck repeatedly in the head is pretty much guaranteed to kill you in the long run. There’s a reason modern boxers don’t fight even a tenth as much as they did 60-70 years ago.

>>96728005
This nigga thinks he’s a gladiator because he spars at a YMCA lmao

>>96728022
This retard thinks he's smart because he shifts goalposts and believes two contradicting ideas at the same time.

>>96725534
This is kino.

>>96727847
>shared ethnicity
See Tolkiens letters on apartheid and national socialism

>>96728075
What did Tolkien think about homosexuality?

>>96728111
I’m sure he disapproved of it. Quality debate, anon.

>>96728075

The fact you equate homogeneity to apartheid is the saddest but most accurate indictment of the 20th century.

>>96728178
I mean, life was actually better under apartheid, the country is a real shit-show now.

>>96727951
>Boxing isn't life threatening
Better to say nothing and have people think you an idiot, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt

>>96728178
Dude, for the record, I think Africa should be completely genocided and turned into a continent wide nature reserve but we literally have a record of Tolkien’s feelings regarding race relations. He wasn’t a ethnonationalist. Cope.

>>96728213
>tradcels trying not to think about the fact Tolkien admired jews and didn’t think they should be shoah’d for killing jesus

>>96728111
>historic figure did not fit neatly into your demonstrably modern ideology
>WELL,,, DID HE BELIEVE ALL THE SAME THINGS AND SAY ALL THE RIGHT SHIBBOLETHS OF YOUR MODERN IDEOLOGY?
If an Italian style fascist movement was burgeoning globally I would be more content than the tard mall cop treatlerism of you fat beef-brained mouth breathers.

>>96725020
Then why are the players there? Why do I need them if I just want to write a novel? How are the PCs justifying their intrusion into the story AT ALL if they aren't involved in any way??? Get the fuck out of my goon session if you're not gonna help contribute, for fucking real.
>>96724787
FPBP
>>96724995
Impose a major drawback: addiction to alcohol, he's permanently sickened unless he'd had at least a shot of whiskey in the last six hours, and he constitution is permanently reduced by 2, and he's permanently at a -2 to ALL rolls due to chronic illness and brain fog. Because he's either drunk or he's hungover or he's in withdrawal. If he's in withdrawal he has to pass a fortitude save of DC 25 every 12 hours or he dies. If he passes every single save for a complete week then he's cured of the addiction, but he still doesn't recover the -2 Con since that's permanently gone. If he has any amount to drink during that week, then his addiction is preserved but it requires at least a shot of whiskey to end the DTs.
When he hits 40, he's automatically diabetic and has to roll a fortitude save of DC 20 every year or he has to have a foot amputated. And his maximum life expectancy is 50 years old.
Something tells me the kid who's fantasizing about alcoholism being oh-so-based will suddenly not want to play that character.

>>96728398
You are a massive fucking homo

>>96725239
Anyone trying to prove some weird political point through the game is not allowed at my table. Keep your feces on xitter and trashy podcasts where it belongs.
And yes this is partly because they're low-effort bullshit chuds. I have better things to do than to remind a douchebag it's his turn and how to roll a die and add a number to it. And no, you cannot roll to deliver a scathing monologue about traditional family values and immigrants to the bar maid. I do not fucking car that your ex left you because she's a feminist. But JUST for the fucking record, she left you because you beat her when she insisted you wear a condom after she ran out of birth control. Derrick. Derrick Rouser, you rotten shit.

>>96728398
>Then why are the players there? Why do I need them if I just want to write a novel? How are the PCs justifying their intrusion into the story AT ALL if they aren't involved in any way?
I've asked this same question of myself after realizing I stumbled my way into writing another novel that would only be read and understood by an audience of less than ten people, ten being the lowest possible quantifier, who were not interested in compensating me for it in any way, shape or form. Not in gratitude, not in contribution, not even in being mentally stable enough to let me present any challenge to them.

I haven't played tabletop in a while. I'm not sure I'll ever go back to it.

>>96728406
And even I still won't have sex with you.

>>96728425
Well I definitely do not run games without getting paid for it these days. It's like 500 USD a month, so it's worth my effort at least to run a game once a week.

>>96728639
If I was getting paid I might as well become a real novelist. I already run text games.

>>96728398
>My character likes to drink ale and is interested in the processes that produce it
>I am morally opposed to this so I'm forcing you to play a crippled alcoholic junky until you make a character I agree with
A Call of Cthulhu table hates to see you coming.

>>96724769 (OP)
Which god, which ale, what farm, what are the names of his siblings and parents, what was his life like before he started adventuring, where did he get his skills to fight if he spent his life as a dirt farmer in bumfuck nowhere with no formal training?

The retard in OP's post literally made an NPC.

>>96725079
This just proves human only players can't spin the apple. Fuck they can't even see the apple. Their IQ is probably the temperature of my goddamn freezer.


>>96725367
I don't need 3+ pages but I would like to know:
- Name
- Age
- how did they acquire their skillset/class/powers/whatever
- who were/are the top 5 most important people in their life that they knew before adventuring
- what is the name of their hometown/village/whatever
- that is their greatest virtue
- what is their greatest vice
- if it's fantasy, which god do they worship (I provide my players a primer with that sort of info and demand they worship at least one god, and be devout if they play a divine caster like a Cleric or Paladin, because I like the flavor of that)

That can all be summed up in 1-2 paragraphs at most. 3, if you're being verbose.

>>96725418
I'd rather get sent 3 pages and tell them to trim it back than get sent fuck all like the image in OP's post and tell them to flesh it out.

>>96725192
>demon touched furry
But enough about your strawman. There's a middle ground between "demon angel furry hybrid with a 50 page backstory" and "Literal NPC named Robert". And, like all things, moderation is key and extremism is a cancer.
>thwarting the thieves guild bc their chaos undermined ale production
Robert is far too stupid with his 8 INT to do that. He's also constantly poisoned from his alcoholism, meaning he's rolling all his checks at Disadvantage. So, y'know, have fun.
>him foiling an elaborate plot simply by not trusting casters
This wouldn't get him anywhere. He'd just be looked at like the insane backwater nobody he is by everyone else.
>being racist against orcs in the city
This would get him a mix of socially ostracized at best and jailed at worst depending on how he went about it. Needless to say, nobody would be serving him any ale whatsoever.

>>96726817
>He isn't good with a greatsword at all! he fucking sucks with it
Ah yes, he sucks with his *checks statblock* +5 to attacks with his greatsword. You know, +3 higher than a Commoner would have. He's already superhuman at Level 1. All PCs are. They only get more exceptional from there. But that's because they're the protagonists of the story - how they got to that point is all pre-game shit. I don't want to spend 10 sessions watching your inbred hillbilly drink himself stupid and be unable to use his main weapon, nobody does.

>>96726630
>>96726678
So it's fucking boring slop that I could get a better version of by firing playing any roguelike? Good to know. Now I can go back to playing actual TTRPGs with my friends instead of lazy dungeoncrawl copypaste slop.

>>96728759
>watching your inbred hillbilly drink himself stupid
I should have seen it coming that was a classist anti-workers thing. Go back to busting unions and leave the fantasy for the normal folks

>>96726586
>>96726823
The medium has evolved beyond that, and what you want can be found in video games now that do the concept infinitely better than the slop gaygag shat out ever could.

>>96727012
Yeah well he's not just proficient, he's good. he's proficient for +2, then gets +3 from his strength, which means he's 150% better with a sword than a commoner.

>>96728713
>- who were/are the top 5 most important people in their life that they knew before adventuring
Who fucking cares? I'm an adventurer. That implies I'm going to new places I've never even been in search of adventure.
>>96728773
Shut the fuck up.

>>96728773
>I should have seen it coming that was a classist anti-workers thing.
>t. inbred retard

>>96728798
>Who fucking cares?
I, the GM care. I, who wants to know how your character fits into the world I've created, care. And if you don't, then you can fuck off like the nogames you are.
>I'm an adventurer.
How did you become one? Why are you one? What purpose does adventuring serve? Because you don't just take on one of if not the most dangerous professions without a reason.
>That implies I'm going to new places I've never even been in search of adventure.
That's a good start but it doesn't preclude you from having family, friends, a mentor who taught you the skills you have now, etc. Either put in the legwork to fit into the campaign and its setting or go fuck yourself. I don't tolerate lazy players.

>>96728808
Lying fuckhead. A GM only wants a list of your most valuable NPCs in a backstory so you can kidnap or torture them to rachet up the stakes in an inherently transient game. There is absolutely zero chance you're going to use them to add any kind of meaningful flavor and simply want to torture your players.
>t. inbred retard
I rescind my statement. He's probably correct about you being a closeted bigot.

>>96728808
An evil and spiteful person like you probably doesn’t have any actual players. You’re talking out your ass.

>>96728824
>A GM only wants a list of your most valuable NPCs in a backstory so you can kidnap or torture them to rachet up the stakes in an inherently transient game
IDK what GM hurt you but that's a fucking deranged take as far as I'm concerned. I learned my lesson when I had a character's pack mule who didn't even have a fucking name die off screen during a fight with an evil wizard and the player was more upset about that than the fact his actual character almost died.
>He's probably correct about you being a closeted bigot.
Nothing bigoted about calling them like I see them. If you think that's bigoted then cry more snowflake.

>>96728834
I have a group of friends I run games for and play games with several times a week. I just have no tolerance for retards and hillbillies, and the fact you're seething so hard proves that you're one of them. So go kiss your sister-mom goodnight Cletus, and get the fuck off my board.

>Call out rednecks for being inbred retards
>Thread malds
If I'd said the same shit about any other group you'd be agreeing with me lol, get the fuck off your high horse.

>>96728836
>IDK what GM hurt you but that's a fucking deranged take as far as I'm concerned.
Sure buddy, I'm certain you've never had such-and-such the sword instructor kidnapped by the villain for some cheap tension because you couldn't think of anything more interesting.
>Nothing bigoted about calling them like I see them. If you think that's bigoted then cry more snowflake.
Hating poor people for being poor while you fill all your posts with how much you hate "laziness" does seem kind of bigoted, yes.

>>96728773
Kill yourself. I would be an adventurer for the Pinkertons killing union scum any time, any day of the week.

>>96728848
>I-if I were saying this about minorities no one would care!
Both are bad, you and the rest of /tg/ is just convinced that one is more okay because it’s 4chan.

>>96728859
Americans have to be the only group on Earth who can be convinced that being exploited by billionaires for profit is a good thing because it makes people of certain political persuasion mad that human beings are treated that way.

>>96728836
>DK what GM hurt you but that's a fucking deranged take as far as I'm concerned.
>I had a character's pack mule who didn't even have a fucking name die off screen during a fight with an evil wizard
These statements contradict each other.
Are you able to conceptualize the idea that players who aren't privileged with a group of friends like you have a much broader experience with the hobby and know how GMs usually react to such fleshed out backstory?
If they don't ignore it, they'll torch it. I still make big backstories but only because I enjoy them.

>>96728855
>Sure buddy, I'm certain you've never had such-and-such the sword instructor kidnapped by the villain for some cheap tension because you couldn't think of anything more interesting.
Unlike (you), I don't struggle to spin the apple.
>Hating poor people for being poor while you fill all your posts with how much you hate "laziness" does seem kind of bigoted, yes.
I hate them for being sister-fucking inbred retards who are ruining this country with their dogshit opinions and can't drive for shit with their pickup trucks yeah. Despite what you might think I"m broke as fuck myself. I even live in the south. I've seen these useless retards before,

>>96728864
I am objectively superior to someone who has a spare chromosome. That's just a fact.

>>96728873
>These statements contradict each other.
Yeah because you didn't read the rest of the sentence, retard. That's what cherry-picking does.
>Are you able to conceptualize the idea that players who aren't privileged with a group of friends like you have a much broader experience with the hobby
I know that if they don't have friends, then it's their fault. If you can't make friends in this day and age, I'm sorry, you're a lost cause.
>know how GMs usually react to such fleshed out backstory?
Wow, shitty GMs get put with shitty players, both of whom have been exiled from the wider community, who'd have thought?

>>96728888
>I know that if they don't have friends, then it's their fault. If you can't make friends in this day and age, I'm sorry, you're a lost cause.
I know you're well under 30 years old or you would never make such an asinine statement. This is one of the most atomized ages.

>>96728888
Okay, I'll bite. What does having anyone make a list of 5 NPCs actually do for your game that would not exist if they just left it out?

>>96728872
Unions are owned by billionaires retardbro...

>>96728888
>Despite what you might think I go to a prestigious university my parents pay for and am forced to see poor people breathing my air whenever I leave my bubble
FTFY

>>96728888
A self hating southerner?
kid your place has way more anti-incest laws than the based north, we love our imoutos right

>>96724995
>"what do I even do with this guy?"
Throw quests and dungeons in his general direction, you can tie them to NPCs if you throw like a girl
>how is he so good at fighting?
Farmwork, bar brawls with soldiers, broing up soldiers after fighting and drinking, learning the ropes on the side
>why is he adventuring if he would rather drink instead?
A lot of alcoholics can't function on 9-5 jobs, so they go work on oil rigs and such, stay 30-45 days at a high-mortality station, and return to burn all the cash on booze and hookers
>how does he even connect to the events of the game?
He was there and they offered him money to solve a problem martially
>you would be RPing being an alcoholic while other players would get their sisters kidnapped, avenging their friends - you know, having cool stuff happen?
Why would I not care about my bro's sister being kidnapped? Alcoholics are people too.
You are a shit GM.

>>96728900
15-30 NPCs he forced someone else to do the legwork on.

>>96728952
Nice headcanon.

>>96728770
Nope, you don't get a choice.

>>96728775
Wrong.

>>96728808
Nope, adventurers go to dungeons because that's what adventurers do, storyshitting faggot.

>>96729021
Yes, everything that exists in a game is headcanon. That's another word for imagination. Which is what roleplaying games are. Fucking moron.

>>96729063
>>96729076
Mindbroken.

>>96729095
Yep, you are.

>>96729099
>n-no u
you've been trying to push the storyshit meme for years loser, railroading is the term we use

>>96729114
>we
You two should fuck since you're clearly the same flavor of idiot.

>>96724995
Just roll your dungeon up on a fucking table and let this dude have some fun you storygame retard.

>>96729021
Thanks, it's called roleplaying. I hear it's hard for nogames like you to grasp.

>>96728713
>- how did they acquire their skillset/class/powers/whatever
Who fucking CARES.

All you need is

Name/Class/Sex
What they want out of going into the dungeon/adventure.

>DM hates
No?
That's pretty much what most character's look like outside of narrativist bs.
1-3 lines of backstory, a race and a class.
Because pre-game backstory doesn't matter, what matter is what happens in the game.

>>96724995
>how is he so good at fighting?
A little beginners luck and he has experience from being in fights where he managed to not die.
>why is he adventuring if he would rather drink instead?
Drinking costs money, plus he's white so we can assume he has the forethought to know he needs to gather larger amounts of wealth to set himself up with a proper life, and spouse when he decides to retire from adventuring.
>how does he even connect to the events of the game?
He is taking part in the hopes of gaining more wealth or possibly even land or a title from the quest.

It's really not as complicated as you think you need to make it.

>>96729563
Why are you retards always so obsessed with skin color in RPGs of all places?

>>96729419
>Because pre-game backstory doesn't matter, what matter is what happens in the game.
This, some people don't get it since they don't play.

>>96729401
>Melf/Male/elf
No need for more indeed, i hate the very idea of wasting hours before being able to play.

>>96729419
I want to let you know that this is a totally valid way to play the game. Some DMs and some players don't care about backstory whatsoever. Some other players and other DMs care about backstory a great deal. In my D&D game and my VtM game, my character's backstories have been relevant on numerous occasions and have shaped the course of the plot. This is okay too, as these are both valid ways to play. People should find the way they enjoy the game the most. I wish you the best in your games.

>>96729625
>Melf/Male/elf
Melf the male elf and Zagyg are unintentional soul.

>>96729580
>you're obsessed!!!
lol sure

>>96729650
Mentioning his white skin as a means to amass wealth was mental illness

>>96729663
okay

>>96728773
>He says, simping for a cryptofascist

>>96728914
>your place has way more anti-incest laws than the based north
Because they need it

>>96729563
None of that was present in the OP though

>>96724995
>if I was this guys GM I would be like "what do I even do with this guy?". he is a blank slate. how is he so good at fighting?
idk, he rolled good stats for a class good at fighting?
what do you want?

I don't understand people who want big backstories for player characters, you're meant to be creating your characters story through the game
I'm wizard mcwizardface, I learnt [choose wizard school or 1-1 apprenticeship] and now that i've finished by education I want to go out and use my magic

>>96724769 (OP)
I don't think you're a good fit for this group.
>grabs one of the 5-8 people hanging around on reserve, instead.

>>96724769 (OP)
generally i agree with this sentiment, but of your backstory is so plain and simple, it begs the question why even have one at all
why not just be bob the fighter? why even have a name? it's useless info for you since your character has no life and purpose beyond dungeon-crawling. Just be "Fighter", a mute who has no thoughts at all.

you see the point I'm trying to make? i hate protagonist syndrome characters, but if we're role-playing, then at least have a role that's worth showing to others

>>96724995
>how is he so good at fighting?
You start at level 1 for a reason. Alternatively his yeoman father is a retired soldier and taught him a trick or two.
>why is he adventuring if he would rather drink instead?
Initially to earn money to drink (he has no marketable skills other than farming and fighting)
>how does he even connect to the events of the game?
That's your job as the DM, or rather the collective job of DM and player. Earning drinking money is a good initial kickstart but sooner or later he'll have to get personally invested.

It's not that hard.

>>96729970
The role is what you do in the game.

>>96724769 (OP)
>Tries to be smug about backstoryshit
>Still managed to fuck it up with useless information instead
He may as well post his character's favorite pronouns

>>96725534
*Clicks of approval*

>>96724769 (OP)
10/10 backstory, give me five players exactly like this.

Nobody actually cares about the pre-game backstory of anybody else's character at the best of times.
Even a single a4 page is overegging it.
Shit; your character might not even survive session one; I'm a no-fudge "dice fall as they may" dm.

The best and most memorable characters are written up on the back of a fag packet, then go on to do great things.

>>96728693

All pedantic nonsense that makes writing bad. OP could easily answer any of these but to write it down is autist tier.

>>96728848

Bc hill Billie’s are actually useful and insanely impressive in their ability to keep shit together and running. Demographics being what they are on this site, you probably don’t know how to complete 1 single physical task or maintain any part of our infrastructure meanwhile there are hillbillies keep 100 year old tractors going and replacing sub floors for $80/day, leveling houses, and patching everything some poor old lady just needs to keep going u til she is ready to die.

>>96728684

They are seething over Robert calling out nonces. See>>96728733 siding with Orcs over bc they aren’t judgmental and will eat the evidence for them after.

>>96729697

Omg you dense autists. Yes it is. It’s called subtext and suggestive / implied narrative. He is a 5th son who can’t marry who he wants. Does that just stand on its own or is their whole pages of life experience and feeling around that? Is there a known and likely situation about not being able to afford marriage, perhaps something called a dowry? He has a pretty neatly curated list of like and “hates” that alone is a statement, but do you really think those opposing likes / dislikes aren’t founded in a certain demeanor, upbringing, and experience with life so far?

It’s actually a much more vivid way of laying out plain exposition.

>>96729950

Sees character art, oof I agree.

>>96729970

Most people are simple and makes their interactions with the world interesting. Cynical, angsty, I’m so different people are uninteresting.

>>96730403
I hear you man.
I swear, /tg/ needs to be fumigated for bugmen and other redditors.

These people do office and service industry, if they are employed at all, live off takeout, and they can barely replace a fuse, if that, very few of them can shoot a gun, and a surprising number don't even drive.

>>96728759
Listen here you slackjawed little faggot. We're not playing your little pansy 5th edition garbage. We're playing AD&D, because we are a bunch of pussies who need to feel safe at level 1. Faggot.

>>96730486
Anon, face it. The guy could have written all that, but he didn't, his focus was somewhere else.
Read the actual text and accept what is actually there and what is clearly not.

>>96724769 (OP)
>most authentic character
>AI sloppa

>>96730688
You still get bonus there.

>>96730776
>I need everything spelled out for me or else I can't function
If it was spelled out for you, you'd still play stupid because you've demarkated this as a culture war thing in your head and opted for a tactic of wilful and highly specific retardation.
We're all aware of it by this point, it's not something that works.
Stop pretending to be intentionally stupid and actually engage in discussion or people are going to have it without you.

>>96730828
No, if he wanted to be smug about It he could have written all that suff himself, instead you need to do It for him as if you were fixing your kid's homework.

>>96725306
As long as you remember the woke left started it, you can hate away.

>>96725855
That’s only the lefty delusion. They are the ones who said “orcs are aktsually black people” without any evidence or semblance of sanity.

>>96730486
If there are whole pages of experiences, he should have included them in the post. He didn't, so there aren't.

>>96731029
That post about Han getting the dice and Solo name was dead on. This poster is why everything done to death.

>>96729922
What do you mean? Use it to do what? What are your goals? Why did you learn magic?

>>96731358
You know how a picture is worth 1,000 words? So is implied narrative. Ah who am I kidding, you don’t actually know that.

>>96729670
fascism is good retard

>>96731376
No, it isn't implied, you just made it up.

>>96731368
This isn’t how people think or make decisions. I’m an accountant bc people just go to college and someone told me it was a stable industry that pays well, why did I care about that? You the fuck knows, influences in life.

I have a furnace about and smiths anvil, why? I like the way the metal looks gotten read and it’s fun when it squishes under the hammer.

I got a beat up old truck to tinker with, why? I was bored. Who knows why I thought taking apart an old engine caught my attention and seemed like a cure for boredom instead of frustration.

People wake up with a sense that they should do something and not waste their time and it’s filled in part by chance / what was presented to them until it becomes habit or ritual.

You are not as intellectual as you are trying to present.

>>96731386
What’s a reason why n the past someone couldn’t get married? No dowry? No land? Check.

What’s a way for people to leave their village in the setting? Adventuring, monster hunting, campaigning? Check.

No one wants to read your fanfic of how your pieces father rejected you but said hey since you’re hitting the road he’s a few pointers for a fight or how you came across a great sword in a basement full of rats you dork.

>>96731422
Holy shit, you don't have goals? What's wrong with you?

>>96731440
Not implied, you lose.

>>96729114
lol storyshitter

>>96724769 (OP)
Great Op, terrible discussion. 10 years ago would have had a fun thread of Roberts deeds.

>>96731821
Kill yourself OP

>>96731378
So go busting unions then you corporate whore

>>96730486
>It’s called subtext and suggestive / implied narrative
No it's called bullshit. You can infer whatever you like but there's very little concrete.

>>96731881
Sorry anon, sounds like you need to develop a little more media literacy if you can't read between the lines on this one.

>>96731907
Har har
The point is, you can't work with "implications" as a DM. Yes, it all *coild have happened*. But if I try to build a scenario around it, is the player going to go along with it or not?

I'm the one who said this backstory is perfectly workable btw. But use what's actually there, not what you imagine might be there.

>>96724995
>"what do I even do with this guy?". he is a blank slate
You're creatively bankrupt lol. I bet you have no inner monologue either. The kind of person who hates open world games, because they're given freedom of choice instead of being given explicit instructions on what to do, how to do it and when to do it.

You have no place DMing.

>>96731063
I'm pretty sure that started by Twitter shiposts about calling immigrants orcs using LotR screencaps

>>96729950
Sex with married ecaflip women.

>>96724995
Anyone who actually plays games already knows HMFS&B with no wider worldly interests is an absolutely terrible idea for a PC, that only; retards who don't get why 'plain' PC's were originally a show of player skill (or that you need skill), or a certain type of neo-conservative who genuinely thinks "yes if I make a white male human farmboy turned fighter I will WOW everyone with how SIMPLE and HUMBLE my design is, and I'll be the most popular PC/Player at the table and they'll all be super jealous that they're not as cool as me with their magic spells and funny coloured creatures that they think makes them cool...", not realizing they've just made the most creatively bankrupt NPC.


Also, given OP pic poster has.
>Paid for Twitter verification.
>Has a Maga hat in the profile pic.
>AI generated 'gritty fantasy fighter man'.
>And is HMF-fagging.
We can assume it's bait.

>>96730537
Anon, that's what these people are.
"Oh I'M not like the other people/players. I'M not coming to the table with... fantasy races or... magic spells. Look how simple and humble my design is, unlike everyone else who all play freakshit."
It's just a new generation of fags finding a new hill to stand on and claim they're different from the masses and/or better than them for it. Still all the same shit.

>>96733548
I'd like you to take a step back anon and consider that maybe, just maybe, the fact you can unironically say, without a shred of self-reflection, 'being normal is the new doing it for attention' is part of the problem.

>>96733559
consider my cock in your throat

>>96733563
Sorry, I tend to think about larger things.

>>96733570
12 inches

>>96733578
To paraphrase GoT, no man who is 12 inches needs to say he's 12 inches.

Now to stop you talking about your fascination with big, meaty cocks, before you start drooling on your keyboard, you really don't see how 'You're just being normal for attention' says some serious bottom text tier shit about the current state of thread/tabletop/society as a whole (Depending on how wide you want to scope out that narrow mind of yours.)
Or does thinking about that make your hamster ache?

>>96733389
That was comparing them to muzzo economic migrants, not calling them black.

>>96729095
That would imply they have minds to break.

>>96733601
:)

>>96733637
you lost the argument samefag

>>96731378
Yes, that is something you would hear from a retard.

>>96731032
Yes, everyone with a brain remembers that you are dumb and don't know anything.

>>96733650
What argument? Only thing coming from your posts is retardation and faggotry.

>>96733688
the one you lost :)

>>96733696
Someone can't lose an argument that does not exist, retard.

>>96733768
you lost :)

>>96733807
No u and your face.

>>96733863
you lost :)

>>96733946
No, you lost the game.

>>96733559
>being normal
Playing a high magic setting where every third person has some level of magical talent and refusing to use any, is the tabletop equivalent of "fox only, no items final destination."

>>96734038
>Every setting is Forgotten Realms where every other faggot in the entire setting has some super special bloodline
Or maybe you're just playing the worst kind of dogshit settings and there's better stuff out there? Have you considered this?

>>96734057
Or maybe my settings are good and yours are bad.

>>96734057
OP said human male fighter, so the setting is dnd.
In the same way that you're a faggot for trying to play a cyborg mutant in delta green, you're also a faggot for insisting your friends carry your ass as npc greg in pathfinder.

>>96734126
>the setting is dnd.
>He's enough of a retarded tourist to think D&D is a setting
>He thinks D&D is exclusively BANG POW ZOOM AVENGERS shit
>He thinks only D&D has human male fighters
Jesus Fucking Christ.

>>96733625
Yes, but that was the origin of orc=minority I don't like

>>96724995
>blankslate
Looks inside
>character is defined.

>why is he adventuring
it's actually not uncommon for the younger sons to join the military in ages past, because of primogeniture. he has no prospects in his life as a farm hand except to live in his brother's shadow and hope that every one before him dies so he could take over.
the man has struck out on his own in the hopes of making something of himself instead.
He's a simple farmboy who likes women, drink and money, this is a character, this is a guy. rotate the fucking apple.

some plot points are fucking obvious if you think.
Succession crisis, threatening his family farm, and if that doesn't entice the player offer him wealth and devil deals and see if his morality will break.
and if it won't and he doesn't want to take any poisoned apples you offer, just let him make something of himself, let him lead his story. i suspect this guy doesn't want to be a drama hog and will be a chill dude.
We should be so lucky to not have a million dramatic faggots at the table, i know i'm one of them and i want more fucking spot light. so let the man cook, if he wants to do nothing but wait for combat and roll ONE d20 every combat let him.

>>96733505
you actually sound insufferable.
Race, class all of that doesn't matter when it comes to the depth of the character, it's about execution.

>>96731881
>>96731358
>>96730776
Genuine question, did your mothers freebase Tylenol?
Now i generally like to keep a loose backstory so i can make it the fuck up when it's relevant so i understand our boy here from both ends.
Someone's experiences define how they behave.
So when you have their preferences and behaviour lined up you can make general inferences. >>96730486 is absolutely right, and maybe i have an inner monologue but this was my immediate conclusion.

one doesn't need to catalogue one's entire story like you're some novelist doing fucking character study. you can start with a sketch and work from there.

>>96735013
>some plot points are fucking obvious if you think.
And yet, somehow, aren't mentioned in the original post and you need to imagine that may be it, on the other hand OP's post did take his time to tell you he likes beer twice, because that was so fucking relevant.

>>96735132
>And yet, somehow, aren't mentioned in the original post
what point are you trying to make here?
like this is just plain stubborn.

Yes YOU need to imagine it
IF YOU ARE THE DM YOU ARE GOING TO BE DOING THAT ANYWAY.
what do you only accept characters if they give you predetermined plotlines?

>>96724769 (OP)
I really do not understand this trend of people being proud of their lack of engagement with the setting. Its like people think their complete unoriginality and complete apathy is a badge of honor or something.