There wasn't a single shred of actual adult psychology at play anywhere.

This is how edgy teens think adults behaved in muh epic olden times. Absolute cringe from start to finish.

>>211484765 (OP)
>This is how edgy teens think adults behaved in muh epic olden times
Were you there? No? Then shut the fuck up

>>211484765 (OP)
for instance:
>spent his entire youth swearing to free his mother
>ends up on the island where his mother is being held
>sees his mother for the first time and recalls his oath
>sees his mother every day after that without a second thought

This daily exposure to his long lost mother should've been one of the main sources of tension and conflict, running all throughout his everyday behavior like a pressure cooker about to blow.
But there's NOTHING

>>211484765 (OP)
>>211484845
Another example
>disguises as a slave and swims up to a slaver sloop with like 15 people on it
>plops down on the boat undetected without any questions asked the entire trip

As if people back then couldn't keep stock of the identities of 10 fucking slaves. He would've stood out the very second one of the slavers first laid eyes on him.

>>211484765 (OP)
It's actually how adults are described in old epics. They weren't known for their psychological depth.

>>211484913
There's immense psychological depth and moral ambiguity in the old Norse sagas. People behaved like adults and had all kinds of complex interpersonal connections and tensions.

OP here
i'm a faggot retard if that matters

>>211484953
Which ones? Post some examples and quotes.

>>211484813
bellylaughed

>>211484765 (OP)
>these men from another culture did not behave like fags like me

Another one
>keeps swearing revenge in the most verbose purple prose imaginable
>utters one throwaway line about the Orkneys
>suddenly he gave up on his revenge plans and he's on a boat sailing away from the object of his revenge after murdering half the guy's entourage

Like a literal 12 year old wrote it.

>everyone is standing around the corpse of Fjolnir's son in the morning
>suddenly Northman appears standing a few dozen feet away in the middle of a bare field (screaming epically of course)

Where the fuck did he even come from? How did nobody see him coming in the middle of the vacuous moonscape that is Iceland?
There's absolutely no spatial accountability, people just pop up wherever the writer felt was most epic looking.

>>211485015
The whole thing is the guy does behave like a fag. An overly emotional simpleton who cries when his mommy is mean to him.

>>211485018
>>211485151
Another one:

>North Man suddenly pops up in the room of the adult son of Fjolnir
>stabs him to death
>next scene starts the next morning

Neither his entry nor his exit are shown, indicating that there was absolutely no obstacle or difficulty.
If he can just do this to the son of the local lord (a cunning noble warrior in his prime fighting age with an entourage of guards and noble warriors) then why is there any fucking tension at all?
He can just pop up in anyone's room and kill them off without any trouble.

>>211484765 (OP)
it's ok suckdeep dickshit. this is not for you.

>>211485546
Justify this shit >>211485364

This script was written by retards for retards.

>>211485871

>>211485151
>>suddenly Northman appears standing a few dozen feet away in the middle of a bare field (screaming epically of course)
what happened right after is even more retarded

>Fjolnir's men attack him
>NORTH MAN starts screaming and fighting
>feels like he's unleashing all his pent up fury since this is clearly a fight to the death
>suddenly spots Anya Taylor-Joy jogging away
>NORTH MAN loses focus
>Fjolnir's men easily overpower and capture him

Literally the only reason NORTH MAN isn't killed on the spot is because Fjolnir wants to hang him up in a barn and leave him completely alone without any guards.
Like a fucking Bond villain.

This was NORTH MAN's big plan.

>>211486115
yeh looked like a bunch of kike propaganda

>>211486015
nice selfie

>>211486115
>this is clearly a fight to the death
scratch that, this was clearly THE fight to the death.

He is running down the hill at Fjolnir and his men, and everyone has deadly weapons. Meaning he either fulfills his decades of revenge plans or he dies trying.
THIS is what all the machinations and plots of NORTH MAN amounted to: running down a hill at Fjolnir and his men.

And then he spots Anya Taylor-Joy casually jogging away and he fucking loses because he loses focus.
We don't even really know why ATJ is casually jogging away. There was no real reason for her to do that.

>>211484765 (OP)
i honestly hate this movie for showing me anya taylor joy's pathetic boney butt, at least i could imagine her having a cute little peach before

>>211484765 (OP)
Shitty Conan remake with Lion King laid ontop

>>211486931
That shit was just bad lighting too.
The film constantly shows off Amleth's oiled-up rippling physique by having him topless and in flattering lighting for half the movie, but all the women's bodies are constantly hidden under burlap sacks, and when some female skin is shown the lighting is as unflattering as can be.

>responds to obvious ai thread

>>211487398
>Shitty Conan remake
Exactly.
Imagine Conan, but the protag is completely carried away by his emotions at all times.

>>211484765 (OP)
>wow why does this adaptation of epic poem lack a crippling modernist neuroticism?

This movie does indeed suck. OP you've defended yourself admirably in this shitstain of a thread. Most of the people in here sound really gay and I don't like them. Don't reply to me I shan't read it. On the off chance I come back to this thread it will be as a sage. Disgusting.

>>211488484
>crippling modernist neuroticism

Explain how this >>211485364
or this >>211486115
can be described as "crippling modernist neuroticism"?

Explain how Conan the Barbarian displayed "crippling modernist neuroticism"?

>>211488516
You missed the important part of the post.

>>211488547
You said I'm complaining of a lack of "crippling modernist neuroticism".
Explain yourself.

>>211488622
I'm telling you it's an old poem.
Storytelling wasnt about internalized thought processes back then.

>>211488705
So explain how Amleth's decades of revenge planning (and days of covert murdering) culminated in him running down a hill towards Fjollnir and his men in broad daylight, and losing when he's distracted for a split second by a girl running away?

>>211484765 (OP)
sounds like you didn't get it

>>211488705
>Storytelling wasnt about internalized thought processes back then.
Is that why NORTH MAN is so emotional and histrionic the entire time?

And the problem is the storytelling in this movie made in 2022 is absolute ass. Nothing makes any sense.

>>211484765 (OP)
Is literally a revenge movie and even the trailer was very explicit about it, wtf do you want

>>211489167
a good script and direction for starters. it’s a bad movie only defended by people who run towards dogwhistles.

>>211484765 (OP)
It was really dull and mediocre. The only people I've seen defend it are manosphere /pol/trannies who beat off to the white cast.

>>211489167
>Is literally a revenge movie
That implies obstacles and struggle to achieve the goal of revenge.
But the movie establishes the protag as having the power to just pop in and out of the bedrooms of enemy bosses and kill them whenever he pleases.

A revenge movie also implies a satisfying arc building towards the ultimate act of vengeance against the ultimate object of vengeance (Fjollnir).
But he just ends up running at Fjollnir and his men in broad daylight like a retard, in what was an ultimate fight to the death. And losing.
This was after days of scheming and killing enemies with various covert operations (none of them clever but whatever).

>>211489412
it has the same level of commitment to and justification of its action that game of thrones did, which is to say, none.

I can feel the vril flowing within me...

It was fucking hilarious how the christcucks threw a bitchfit over it, full marks Eggers.

>>211490143
that only happened in your head

>>211490051
I never watched GoT, even a little bit.
I'm comparing to Conan, Thirteenth Warrior (which wasn't even that good), even fucking Taken.

>>211490200
the main ice demon antagonist of the show is killed by a little quasimodo girl flying out of the shadows and stabbing him, same energy as GoT

>>211490192
Sure it did you devil worshipping christcuck xD.

>>211490124
>depict odinic spear dancer
>he doesn't dance
0/10 movie

>>211490143
I've literally never seen a comment talking about that

>>211484765 (OP)
Eggers's first two movies were masterpieces, and then he has progressively gotten worse

>>211490392
very sad

Best thing next to Conan.

>>211490269
prove it.
you can't, because it never happened.

>>211490350
>>211490830
Samefagging christcuck needs to get more methinks but you want me to prove that you devil worshipping faggots weren't butthurt over a movie?
Anything to keep the thread going right xD

>>211490975
so no proof, got it. dumb pagan larper.

>>211484765 (OP)
>>211484845
>>211484891
>>211485364
>>211485018
>>211485151
>>211486115
Media literacy OP, you lack it.
The movie isn't trying to be a modern melodrama, it's trying to be a mythical Shakespearean tale in the style of Beowulf, Hamlet, or Conan the Barbarian.

>>211484845
you either didnt watch the movie, are deliberately obtuse or very stupid.
he spent his youth basically traumatized about it, coping by being one of the most brutal guys in a warband and in a state of half-forgetting and being stuck in that moment.
he only finds out much later what actually happened to fjolnir because news travels slow at the time, if at all. he starts observing from day one but can't just 1v20 armed guards with his fists in daylight, it takes time for a slave to gain privileges and powers.

>>211491035
This how you means test a christcuck by posting a couple of images to make him think I'm a soul dead devil worshipping christcuck like him.
Man you larpers aren't going anywhere after this life, how's life with mom xD.

>>211491223
This *is*

>>211490975
>>211491223
you will never be a woman

>>211486931
anya's butt gave me the ick fr

>>211484765 (OP)
agree

>>211491627
Nice try christcuck but you're just as bad as the tranny faggots who're just another retarded devil worshipping cult.
Mom got your chicken tendies ready yet?

>>211491115
>it's trying to be a mythical Shakespearean tale in the style of Beowulf, Hamlet, or Conan the Barbarian.
And it fails miserably.
None of those works you just mentioned have any of the flaws listed itt

>>211491133
>he only finds out much later what actually happened to fjolnir because news travels slow at the time
What the fuck does that have to do with the fact that he saw his mother every day but it was no big deal?

>but can't just 1v20 armed guards with his fists in daylight,
That's funny because this is exactly what he ends up doing, see >>211486115 >>211486193

>>211492035
why do zoomers start conversations in a way that makes it sound like they were already in the middle of a conversation

>>211490143
Vikings were very active in Constantinople, fighting against the Turks etc.
Where are the Islam jokes?

>>211484765 (OP)
Anyone who cares about this movie has "I'm white and a virgin this is all I have" blinders on so don't expect anyone but me to say YOURE RIGHT

>>211493620
because they don't actually communicate with anyone really, they're narcissists constantly thinking about and talking to themselves internally. that's why anytime you talk to one they look at you with dead fluoride eyes like you just rudely interrupted them

>>211484813
Based Sir Ridley

i liked the movie but Nicole KIdman is almost always cringe. She's not even hot, the only time she looked hot was in Batman Forever lol.

>>211491115
>Amleth
>Is trying to be Hamlet
should we tell him

>>211498843
She had the most interesting character (which isn't saying much at all) and did a credible job, but her face looks like a mask.

>>211491115
>>211499118
Amleth is Hamlet spelled backwards

This one dumb moment in particular had me literally bursting out laughing.

>when he was a child he saw his mother in her private chambers
>she scolded him with the "don't come into my room unannounced"
>flash forward
>he's hiding in her room as an adult, about to make the big reveal that he - the slave she's known for all those months - was her son all along
>expect some kind of callback like "once again I am in your room unannounced" to pay off the childhood scene
>nope.tiff
>instead he just blurts out "I aM yOur soN" like a plank of wood

There were so many stupid moments like this. The fact that the movie takes itself so seriously makes it all so very funny.

>>211496058
The movie takes place before birth of Olga of Kiev. Battle of Manzikert which allowed Turks to rampage across Anatolia happened way later. Basil II trying to btfo the Bulgar chimpers would have fit era better overall.