ONE RING

I DON'T KNOW WHY
IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER IF THE EAGLES FLY

>>211539311 (OP)
I can't wait for the eventual scene where Sauron manages to convert the evil wizard Sauronman onto his side somehow. Won't that be something!

>>211539327
KEEP THAT IN MIND I DESIGNED THIS COCK TO FUCK ELVES IN DUE TIME

Ya'll act like you've never seen a Maiar before
Jaws all on the floor
like Tulkas and Melkor just burst in the door
and Tulk started whooping his ass worse than before
It's the return of the "ah, wait, no way, you're kidding
"He didn't just give me this magic ring did he?"
But Morgoth said...nothing, you idiots
Morgoths dead, he's locked in Mandos' basement

Eru don't gotta cuss in his creation songs to create life
Well, I do, so fuck him and fuck you too
You think I give a damn about Manwe?
Half of you Children can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
"But Sauron, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why, so you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can sit me here next to Nienna "Tears"?
Shit, Yavanna Kemantari better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Feanor and Fingolfin
And hear 'em argue over who has slayed the most kin
Little bitch put me on blast on the Palantir
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Thuringwethil, hee-hee"