I want my vacation time to accrue.

i want my bathroom break extended by.... 14 seconds

Accural is kind of a bitch in a way. You can get more gamey with your PTO if it resets on a marked date rather than having to reaccure. If I get 80 hours then in two weeks I get 80 more on my renewel date then theoretically I can string together four weeks worth of PTO and take a month off. The downside is I just have to wait until next year for it to refresh.

>>211618695 (OP)
>I want the company to match my 401k contributions dollar-for-dollar

I want at least 2 putluck lunches per year. I'll bring pasta.

>I want triple-ply toilet paper in the bathrooms and a new water cooler

>Do enterprise technical support
>Tell sysadmin customers how to fix their servers
>Good enough at it that I only work like half the day
>Grown to hate my job because I find it boring as sin and despise working with retarded customers
>Have to sit on hours-long calls with a dozen managers asking "Ok team what's the status" and not listening to the answer
>Have to work 12 day stretches every 6-8 weeks (my turn working the weekend shift)
>Get 4.5 weeks of PTO a year
>Next march I'll be at 10 years and will get 5 weeks PTO
>salary $98k
it's better than most amerilards get but I hate my job so fucking much I'm not sure if it's worth it at this point
but all the alternatives are worse

>I want therapy puppies to visit the office 2 times a week, a pilots studio to be built, and a coffee bar.