>Take your hat off.

What would you do here?

Slap that fat fuck, I've been training aikido for 8 years so if he starts some shit he'll be flat on the floor in 2 seconds

>>211684886 (OP)
When he cracked his jokes that would've been enough for me to realize that I had thoughtlessly left my hat on at the table and take it off

>>211684951
>aikido

>>211684886 (OP)
I wouldn't *do* anything. I would listen. And that's what no one else did.

Tell him to wear one to hide his massive forehead

>>211684886 (OP)
i would say "yeah here you go buddy you need it more than i do"
mic drop

>>211684886 (OP)
I would take it off. Then I would angle my head so the light shines in his eyes the rest of the night.

>>211684886 (OP)
I'd stand up, scratch my balls, and pat him on his bald head.
>I'm not doing that.
I'd say, before sitting back down and resuming my meal.

>>211684951
t.

>>211684951
>, I've been training aikido for 8 years so if he starts some shit he'll be flat on the floor in 2 seconds

I'd stare at him quizzically for a few seconds, smile and nod, and turn back to my date. When he would inevitably put his hand on me or lean closer I'd jump to my feet and get in his face and tell him to back the fuck off and that I am armed and willing to use it in defense of my life and he's making me feel as though my life is in danger. Then once he fucked off I'd make a big show of touching my hat, taking it off, laughing about it, then going over to his table and saying I had forgotten I was even wearing it. Then I'd flip it onto his table knocking his wine over and I'd tell him to keep it and go back to my table.

>>211684886 (OP)
I'd tell him to fuck off. Then I'd wait for him to lay a hand on me so I could put my head into his chest, double leg him, and strangle him with his own lapels. Then I'd call the police and have him arrested for assault.

>>211684886 (OP)
>What would you do here?
If a Mafia Don told me to take my hat off? Take it off.

>>211684951
unagi

>>211685351
Shut up fag you would lay on your back with your legs up like a whore.

That actually happened to me when I was visiting America. Some fat old boomer kept staring at me from his table then came over and demanded I take my hat off. I told him to fuck off and he said some shit about "you don't know who you're dealing with". He wouldn't leave so I started responding to everything he said with "faggot". I had to say it about 8 times before he finally skulked off. A lot of obese middle aged men think they can intimidate you because they've seen to many movies. But he knew he couldn't touch me because I'd lay him out. Same thing would happen here.

>>211684886 (OP)
Take your weight off.

>>211684886 (OP)
call him fat talian faggot

>>211685852
Boomers are so weird about this. What if the person had cancer or something?
One time I went to a pub to meet some friends before we went somewhere else. I was a bit late and we were only there for one drink so I left my jacket on. Some boomer came up to me asking if I’d take my jacket off a bunch of times. It was a nice jacket too

>>211686097
>>211685852
What’s your endgame with these bullshit stories? Is this pasta with sopranos references?

>>211686097
I think he could probably tell anon doesn’t have cancer.

>>211684951
Reminds me of when my girlfriend said she could beat me up because she did karate for 8 years.

I would ask him if there was a bee on my hat.

>>211686376
If you ever left the basement then you'd see how things actually happen IRL.

I have basic table manners so i would not be in the situation the first place.

>>211688711
If you ever visited my basement we could watch kinos together and eat snacks.

>>211685237
>take your scalp off.

>>211689250
nta but I'd be up for this

>>211689308
>you gotta bee on your skull

>>211689250
>>211689327

nta can I come too? I have a part time job so I could buy pizza or something

I would wait for the hat guy to respond. Am I supposed to be the asshole wearing a baseball cap while seated in a restaurant?

>>211689250
>>211689327

>>211685212
Kek

>>211684886 (OP)
>Ok. Could you bring us some more champagne?
>Wait, you don’t work here? You just go around enforcing some dress code you made up for free?

>>211690229
this, i wouldn't be wearing a hat on a date. but i also wouldn't let some fat wop sneak up behind me and callously order me to remove my effects in a restaurant because he doesn't like it. call him a fat faggot, stand up, ask him if we wants to go, and then just wait. the moment he even seems like he's gonna swing you beat his skull in, glass him, knife him - whatever you want really

>>211690695
The implication of every scene in the show, however visually unbelievable it may be, is that Tony would win if you fought. You want to get beaten up?

>>211690771
that can be implied all day but the reality is should a fight start he's dying in that restaurant and i'm going to prison

>>211690892
hahaha

>>211690695
Australian?

>>211684951
This. I can take Toney easy, he's an old fat boomer.

I’d order him Uncle Bens delivered by a zesty peculiar

>>211691128
the sheepish laughter of a spineless cuck that couldn't take on a fat middle aged man with multiple grievous health problems

>>211691172
i eat bogans for breakfast, chinks for brunch, niggers for lunch, beaners for dinner, and jeets for a midnight snack. i am death

>>211691288
No, I just thought that mindless escalation is a mirror of Tony's behaviour and therefore entirely appropriate.

>>211685395
How do you know he's a mafia boss? I bet 90% of people on the show didb't know who Tony was except maybe the cameraman following him around in every episode.

>>211689250
Frozen 'za or tendies, or some local Mongolian beef. I'm gonna assume you have a 65" OLED at least, not just an 11" laptop.

>>211684886 (OP)
If he tried that with me I'd be all "WHOA! The balls on this guy! You wanna talk about taking stuff off how about you start by taking a few dozen pounds off that waistline!"
>my gf would bum dum tish at this point
then I'd stand up and pat him on shoulders and say "Ooo no need to get upset big guy I'm just bustin some balls!"

I'm glad they changed the tone of the show after the pilot and again after S1

>>211690892
This is an anon I would not mess with. Tough guy, whoa.

>>211684886 (OP)
i would sit down and listen to what he had to say and compromise, because that is what nobody did

>>211684886 (OP)
>no hat rack
>expects you to take your hat off
Restaurant's fault desu senpai. The baseball cap is a tacky accessory of course, but it would be a similar situation if he was wearing something nice.

>>211684886 (OP)
I would slowly put my hand on my katana. No need to unsheathe it, he already got the message.

Serious answer, having knowledge from the show I would stand up and whisper in his ear:
> "Tony, I have a power. I see things. Right now I see a woman behind you, a ghost. Her name is Livia. I know you saw her in your dreams, standing on top of the stairs. I can help you, Tony. Meet me tomorrow at X."
And then I would scam him out of his money making him think I'm exorcising her momma or some shit.

>>211691368
>you are on a date
>it is some fake fancy hole in the wall in jersey
>you just want your bitch girlfriend to quit whining about never going anywhere fancy so here you sit in a slightly nicer olive garden
>about to eat when some fat retard plods up behind you, leans right into your ear, and demands "take your hat off"
>he doesn't work there
>he doesn't own the place
>he's already broken the social decorum far more than you have by confronting you in front of your woman
>say "excuse me" but obviously you're trying to politely tell him to get lost
>he doesn't take the hint and starts belittling your class
>"it's my hat i'll wear it where i want"
>obviously you're in the right - if you weren't - an employee would have said something at the DOOR or they would have a dress code in signage
>turn back around to your dinner and girlfriend
>fat faggot won't go away, thinks he can scare you by breathing heavily and staring daggers
>legally, morally, and ethically at this point - he has forced you into a confrontation with the threat of physical harm
>keep in mind, like a pussy and a rat he's been deliberately choosing to stand BEHIND you this whole time

and that is where i would get up and tell him to stand and bang out or fuck off. that is the point where every man should stand up. he's already caused a scene and if you don't defend yourself he's only going to chump you like he did the guy in the scene. point being - there is no mindless escalation. he deserved to get bottled at that point, he was looking for a fight. if you want to save face and stand your ground though you can turn all the way around, better to stand, and say "ask me nicer and maybe i will". then you can work it out and end things off with a handshake instead of getting cucked

t. 4 time nigger-brutalizer

>>211684886 (OP)
Take my hat off and put it on the girl's head.

>>211691552
NTA but it's not really being a tough guy to say you could win a fight with an average height late middle age fat slob who would go on to die while stuffing his fat face a few years later.

>>211684886 (OP)
would never have worn a hat in a restaurant in the first place because i'm not a nigger. however i do poorly in situations with authority let's say for some reason i did something this classless i'd probably mouth off and then get my shit kicked in

>>211691552
don't be mad you're a pussy that's never stood up for yourself. it's not tough to fight and it's not cool to go to prison but i'd rather do those than be a punk bitch to an obese guido

>>211689250
It's too late for me anon. I fell for the "make it" meme and no longer have time to enjoy kinos or snacks in the basement. No, I've "made it", which means 99% of my time is dedicated to other people's needs. I even count sleep because it's just recharging to continue meeting all my social, familial, and professional obligations. The remaining 1% are the moments I get to actually be alone without an imminent need to do something for someone else, which never last longer than a couple of hours every few weeks. As for having an entire day to myself, let alone days-long periods? That's over. I will LITERALLY never get to sit in my comfy space eating snacks and watching kinos. It's over

>>211685274
kek

>>211684951
Anybody seen Richie?

>>211691725
I read most of this. slightly based.

Put my hand on his shoulder and ask him "does he feels in charge?"

>>211685274
>look him up
>somehow looks like more of an AIDS infested twink now
wild

>>211686097
>>211686376
It's the jackettt

>>211691812
>it's not cool to go to prison but i'd rather do those than be a punk bitch to an obese guido
You were not being too stupid until here. You'd go to prison for a fight over a hat? okay. go.

>>211684886 (OP)
I’d immediately take my hat off, apologize for my ignorance about proper etiquette and manners at a fancy establishment, thank him for informing me of what is expected of patrons at fancy establishments so that I know going forward, and then gesture him my thanks after he sends me the bottle of wine.

>>211691936
all you need to know is that several hoodrat chimpanzees walk this earth with likely permanent injuries because of me and everybody in this thread could have their own nigger-KO count if they believed in themselves. never let a stranger disrespect you - ESPECIALLY if they're a non-white, a woman, or fat

>>211685130
They grab balls

>>211692034
the fact you think it's over the hat means you lack the fundamental masculine quality of standing on principle

>>211691405
I grew up in jersey in the 90s and early 2000s, everyone knew who the boss and big players were. Everyone knew what restaurants and bars were connected. We didn’t know every made guy buy if we were at a mafia hang out and some Italian guy was acting like that everyone would know he was on the mafia and would have listened.

>>211692145
>several hoodrat chimpanzees walk this earth with likely permanent injuries because of me
based, sincerely
t. hasn't been in a fight since I was about 14

>>211692195
how is it even possible to be as cool as this guy? You could get rich and drive a sports car, but that wouldn't be as cool.

>>211692410
start training now or take the latter portion of my advice about aggressive gentlemanliness to avoid fights

standing straight with your chest up, hands on your hips, chin neutral, voice clear and strong - all the hallmarks of aggression - while still using civil language and keeping the content of your argument reasonable, disarms 99% of people. angry and dumb may be a scrap they're willing to take but angry, intelligent, and relatively calm is a frightening combo

>>211685319
>Luka must never know that I filled this carrot with refried beans.

>>211684886 (OP)
kill him with my bare hands, wipe my hands off with a napkin, perfect crime. according to the sopranos at least.

>>211684886 (OP)
Put a hat on, you're gonna blind someone with that forehead

Is this thread autosaged? kek

>>211695281
when i start effortposting i kill threads. kikes, niggers, and jannies fear my candor. feels good

i'm running several threads right now, a percentage of this whole shit board is my property

>>211684951
I bet you haven't even cleansed your first meridian, junior

>>211684886 (OP)
Dude you run a glorified crew, you’re not lucky luciano in the 30’s fagget

The show is a power fantasy for fat white guys that work in offices. Nothing more.

I started losing my hair pretty young so I’d always be wearing a hat. One time I got dragged to a strip club and at the door they had a strict “no hats policy”. I felt humiliated in front of all of the ladies.

>>211684886 (OP)
Did you hear about the Chinese godfather?