Why cant we ever get a film that accurately depicts medieval armor, arms, and their correct use?

Bro you can run around all day in plate armor, that's what knights did. They were somersaulting all over the battlefield all the time bro.
Bro they also grabbed the sword by the blade and used it that way bro, they just smacked other somersaulting knights with the hilt of the sword. How fucking crazy is that bro.
Also bro they all bro were wearing bright colors bro, everything was painted in bright colors bro, like they didn't even know brown exists as a color bro.
Check out this youtube video bro it explains everything

>>211775828

>>211775883
it's a shame that landmines made knights obsolete

>>211775883
bro this guy is awkwardly sprinting for 5 seconds that means knights were running around all day (multiple days even) in full plate around without breaking a sweat bro how cool is that bro

>>211775828
oh hi hollywood screenwriter

>>211775931

>>211775931
You seem kinda mad bro is everything okay?

>>211775828
>Also bro they all bro were wearing bright colors bro, everything was painted in bright colors bro, like they didn't even know brown exists as a color bro.
they fucking did I am sick of the Ridley Scott historical blue filter

>>211775883
its such an old myth that knights cant move around in armor. was it ever even real? ive never seen it represented in any movie or story i can think of

there is no need to even deboonk this

>>211776603
>ive never seen it represented in any movie

>>211776695
well what movie? if anything movies always have them moving around even easier since its always super light armor and basically non-functional

>>211776603

>>211776757
>>211776695
are you fucking els or something? do you even understand what im saying you utter fucking nigger retards?

>>211776736
>Why cant we ever get a film that accurately depicts medieval armor, arms, and their correct use?
>ive never seen it represented in any movie

>>211776866
this only applies to combat. lots of movies have good armor and the post i was responding to was showcasing their mobility as if movies didnt show that or like it was trying to debunk the "myth" of not being able to move well in armor. are you esl?

what movie has knights moving around like tanks and not being able to stand up if they fall over?

>>211776603
>ai-slopper
>hasn't seen any classic movies with tank armour
wow, what a fucking surprise

>>211775793 (OP)
The people making movies don't give a shit. Look at that faggot Ridley Scott. Dude talks a big game about how historically accurate his movies are but he gets butthurt when actual historians tell him his movies are wrong on multiple levels. Scott bunglged Gladiator so hard a scholar asked to have her name removed from the credits because Scott screwed the pooch so badly. And it's not just medieval arms and armour.

I mean, Christ, they can't even do WW2 shit and beyond correctly, even with everything we have to hand detailing how those wars were fought.

>>211777095
this is going to be the third time ive ask you fucking idiots to name one(1) such movie. just say the name. im not even saying youre wrong. im just saying one doesnt come to mind. so please enlighten me wise esl

>>211775793 (OP)

I saw a webm of some Netflix "movie" portraying the Battle of Agincourt with Dune dude vs Batman # 7 and it featured them slipping in the mud like retards. Probably closer to fact than any other hollyshit slop.

>>211777133
>I mean, Christ, they can't even do WW2 shit and beyond correctly, even with everything we have to hand detailing how those wars were fought.

funny enough i just got done reading ernst jungers storm of steel and he mentioned several times that the shockwave of a nearby exploding shell lifted him and and threw him (and obviously he didnt die or even get very injured) proving that the "annoying" thing where hollywood explosions always throw the hero out of the blast is actually 100% correct

>>211775828
yea they represented their coat of arms that was a real big part of everything stay mad

>>211777137
>ai-slopper throwing a tantrum because he's not being spoonfed
Classic.

>>211777202
>this guy who saw combat wrote it down in a book so it must be true
Buddy... Come on. You gotta be more critical of what you read than that. Any shockwave great enough to pick an entire person up and throw them would have turned their brain into jello. That's just fucking physics, same as bullets not being able to make people fly across the room no matter what soldiers have reported seeing. At the very least he would have ended up in a medical unit with a massive concussion making him unable to walk for a while.

>>211776968
>lots of movies have good armor
lol no, lots cheap out and get armor from prop companies and recycle the same inaccurate poorly fitted shit year after year and decade after decade

>>211777137
>op asks why something isn't done
>you demand an example of it being done

>>211777501
sure you fucking idiot like any gust of wind strong enough to knock you down or lift you off your feet at all instantly kills you, its simple fucking physics

>>211777373
literally everyone in this thread (other than me of course) seems to be a moron

i guess the explanation is that youre all britcucks or various flavors of els. im going to sleep

>>211777137
shut the fuck up nigger
>>211777373
shut the fuck up nigger

>>211777616
>explosive shockwaves work just like wind
My god you really are retarded.

>>211777202
>WWII
>Junger

>>211775828
DUDE medieval peasants had amazing lives! I wish I was a peasant whose genetic lineage was bound to a farm I rent from a lord. Did you know they only worked for a few months of the year? It must have been AMAZING bro! All you had to do is kick up everything you produce to the lord, BUT he let you keep some to feed your family. I just don't get why peasants kept rising up for centuries until eventually overthrowing the lords in the 16th-18th centuries. Musta been the JEWS if you ask me

Why is this thread so deranged?

>>211776528
>the Ridley Scott historical blue filter
Friendly reminder that seeing everything in shades of blue to the point where you don't notice the blueness is a side effect of using too much viagra.

>>211778841

did you know nobody in the middle ages actually worked? every day was a holiday or feast day. in fact, they were drunk all the time, they drank nothing but beer (which was, alcohol-by-volume, beer).

>>211775960

>thinks that 3 second clips of guy in armor doing a thing means they did it all day long

>>211778412
The only difference between then and now is that you work all year-round and have the illusion of freedom of movement.

>>211778412
>mfw America actually does have multiple Nathan Holns that want to take us back to a prepper survivalist feudalism state

>>211778903
Haha yeah. We're JUST like feudal peasants xD

>>211778903
>he works all year-round
Could I interest you in a union?

>>211775960
>ow fuck shit my bones

>>211775828
did baby get his favourite sloppa insulted recently? You seem personally insulted by the concept of medieval combat that doesn't look like wet rancid dogshit. Are you a fan of The Last Duel by any chance?

>>211778947
>a union?
A union? In America? What are you, a commie?
>>211778931
If anything it's worse because feudal peasants had strong families with people they knew well since birth, tight-knit communities of like-minded people, strong moral/spiritual compasses, financial, food, and housing security, as well as a deep attachment to nature and land unencumbered by the hyperstimulation of the internet.

>>211779050
oh yeah if there's anything the feudal era is defined by it's food security

>>211779050
Haha yeah we're even worse off than peasants lmao

>>211779109
It wasn't unlike now in that regard, only that food insedurity was defined by famine instead of obesity. Funny enough mass obesity has virtually the same effects on any given population as mass famine does.
>>211779121
>yeah we're even worse off than peasants
Yes.

>>211779173
>only that food insedurity was defined by famine instead of obesity.
In what shithole do you live where you're in risk of starving because of fat people taking all your food to the same degree that peasants risked starving every time there was too much rain or too little or there was a cold snap or an entire cold year or they'd fucked up their fields by growing too much on it without letting it lie fallow or an army marched through and burned it all?

I just wanted to discuss arms and armor and their historical use and how/why we don't see them properly
why did everyone start pounding the side of their head and screeching autistically?

>>211775883
ok, now make him get up/run on uneven ground/mud/rain under actual battlefield conditions.

>>211775883
Holy... Kino...

>>211779238
>fat people taking all your food
I'm talking about poorfags and increasingly normies being malnourished and suffering the health consequences of obesity and ultraprocessed food such as heart disease, lower feritlity rates, significantly higher rates of cancer, mental illness, reduced life expectancy, etc., when these were usually caused by famine before the Green Revolution.
We're at the point where obesity has such institutionalized long-term effects on our population that it plays a role identical to famine in the pre-war eras.

>>211779407

Is it true that most medieval soldiers typically favored swords as sidearms over maces or hammers even when fighting against more well armored armies?

>>211779410
People getting heart disease or producing fewer kids on average is nothing like great swathes of a population dying off because of famines, you retard. If you told a Chinese peasant dealing with a famine that shit he'd be eating you before you'd had time to finish.

>>211779724
>great swathes of a population dying off because of famines
Obesity alone kills around 300,000 Americans every year.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10546692/
>fewer kids on average
We're literally going to endure near-total population collapse by the end of the century and face a Black-Death esque global demographic collapse, look up mouse utopia or check out the birthrate free-fall of Europe and East Asia.
>If you told a Chinese peasant dealing with a famine that shit he'd be eating you before you'd had time to finish.
And he'd likely die of a heart attack in a year due to his arteries getting clogged with plaque from eating food stamps slop

>>211779447
Was this really happening on a battlefield?
Or is this tournament combat?

>>211779685
the sword was the _sidearm_
the main weapon would have been a spear or polearm or initially a two handed axe - variously called a Viking Axe, Danish Axe, English Axe, etc - that as as men-at-arms wore more and more armor evolved into the poleaxe you see here >>211779260 a highly specialized tool ideal for fighting an opponent encased entirely in plate

>>211779898
The 'fechtbuchs' and the swordsmen who wrote and taught them were focused on self defence and dueling
a battle could devolve into a grand melee but it would start and ideally be conducted entirely with everyone fighting in line formations

>>211779858
God you just love pretending to be worse off than all of your ancestors, don't you? Meanwhile you live in the most pampered era of human existence.

I want to see a movie where a guy pulls out one of these

>>211779966
>you just love pretending to be worse off than all of your ancestors, don't you
My ancestors in the Middle Ages were Scots that got to do basically whatever the fuck they wanted 24/7 for most of their history, they definitely had better lives than me

>>211778412
The real annoying thing is that the people who believe the past was a magical place, never account for natural disasters, "yeah bro, you are totally only going to work four hours each day when freak weather patterns kills all your crops for this season, and that plague of locusts big enough to cover the entire horizon? Chill bro, locusts are our friends, they will leave something for us after they finish eating 99% of what we planted this year".

Amazing how those guys never make videos about the villages that starved to death or turned to cannibalism after Mother Nature woke up cranky. 99% of human story is about how hard Mother nature has raped us across the ages, the age of plenty that started after 1900 is literally a freak pattern that might never repeat itself if the modern world collapses.

>>211779993
they're around, just try any three musketeer film

>>211780066
he thinks the fucking SCOTS had an easier time than him
lol
lmao

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XaI-EOVpDvo&pp=ygUUZWxkZXIgc2Nyb2xscyBrbmlnaHQ%3D

I wish more video games had your character use his blade like an actual warrior, and not just like a thug with a club.

>>211780093
Another thing is that they act like how war used to be an honorable "gentleman's sport" with their pitched battles. The reality is that every single army employed a scorched earth tactic and burned/looted every single village they came across (and probably raped and slaughtered everyone there while they were at it). Wartime would've been abject misery for the peasantry

>>211780140
Are you Indian by chance?

>>211780222
>war used to be an honorable "gentleman's sport" with their pitched battles
Ah yes, as opposed to industrial wars that utilize children as minesweepers (Iran-Iraq), have autonomous drone swarms hunting civs and soldiers alike (Russia-Ukraine), or have "based" "cool" "modern" regimes based on social engineering that've killed more people than the fucking Mongols or Black Death (Communism and Nazism)
>every single army employed a scorched earth tactic and burned/looted every single village they came across
If this was the case then why did premodern wars have such low civ casualty rates compared to industrial wars? It was really only steppeniggers that did these massive scorched earth campaigns that focused on killing with some other rare outliers such as the 30 Years War or some of Britain's conflicts. Infrastructure was often destroyed sure, but infrastructure then was also much shittier and could be rebuilt quicker or moved somewhere else.

>>211780313
>based on social engineering

>>211780313
anon it was well known they'd loot, rape, and murder everyone in a town or city that didn't surrender
also look up the origin of the phrase "kill them all, god will know his own"

>>211780364
Nothing approaching even the concepts, let alone state structures similar to Nazism or Communism had any comp in the Middle Ages. Both regimes and ideologies behaved far more like ancient or classical societies such as the Babylonians or the Assyrians in their uncompromising supremacist, totalitarian, worldviews and modus operandi.
>>211780387
>they'd loot
>they'd rape
Everybody rapes and loots in war regardless of culture or time period.
>murder everyone in a town or city that didn't surrender
Again, this was usually only in specific contexts like those I mentioned.
>quote
That was literally a quote from the Crusades that was only used in that specific context during the purges against the Cathars. It's not indicative of the vast majority of conflicts in the Middle Ages that like I said had very low civ deaths compared to industrial wars.

>>211779903
Polearms are comically ignored by basically all modern representations of medieval warfare in film and tv.

>>211779685
swords were very versatile and effective. the main advantage of a backup mace was its durability.

>>211775793 (OP)
Have you been watching some basedjak larper's youtube channel again sir?

This film made at least some attempts to be accurate, which resulted in accurate medieval duels where they roll around on the ground trying to stick their knife in a weak point. Real war isn't kino

>>211780225
>oh shit someone knows history better than me, better deploy a buzzword insult!
An Indian wouldn't think we live in a age of plenty because they're still dealing with famines and millions of them have Dickensian lives, you fucking retard.

>>211780988
>An Indian wouldn't think we live in a age of plenty because they're still dealing with famines and millions of them have Dickensian lives
A diaspora jeet 100% would, they suck off the status quo more than any other demographic in the world and are particularly obnoxious about it here and on xitter.

>>211780977
>Real war isn't kino
Picrel would beg to differ.

>>211781147
>if you think our lives on average is better than a feudal peasant then you're sucking off the status quo
Your brain is complete mush.

>>211781273
>is better
>doesn't deny the Indian allegation
Ehehe
>Your brain is complete mush.
It is, but so is everybody else's due to all the microplastics, ultraprocessed foods, and substance abuse :)

>>211775793 (OP)
No. Just anachronistic leather armor for you, Chud!

>>211778706
Like 2/3rds of the catalog now are spam threads. I'm not sure if it's offsite niggers, bots, or schizos like baskinfag, but the board is absolute shit.

>>211775883
This is toy armor made from thin gauge steel that can dented even with a punch.

Because unlike what HEMA dweebs will have you believe, we don't actually know what went down on the battlefield. All these manuals were written down in the late medieval period or even the early modern period and focus on tournament fighting and dueling. It's like using a karate training seminar taped on VHS in 1992 as evidence of how the Japanese fought in WW2.

>>211780093
>>211778412
Everything, and I mean literally everything without a single exception, that is spoken in media, history, by experts or otherwise, that presents the MODERN WORLD as something good in ANY WAY, is Jewish propaganda by definition. You can safely and completely assume that everything that you have been told is a complete lie to sell you on the life conditions today. There's NO POINT in discussing these pathetic details when the simple truth is that anything positive we can imagine about the past is infinitely more likely to be correct than whatever FILTHY SWINE LIES that the JEWS have fed us. It's SIMPLE ideology, get with the fucking program.

>>211775883
Has he succeeded ?

>>211776757
>Scrathing the marble floor.
Those armored knights are savages.

>>211778412
The world used to be a symphony and not a machine

>>211780977

>>211780977
They are twinks though. Anyone with a brain compares medieval knights to modern rugby players. Analysis of their duties, training, diet, not to mention leftover bones showed that they were way fucking bigger than those gay little bum bandits. Brian Blessed when he was young would be a closer approximation.

They're lying to you. You should remember that and focus on it as hard as possible so that you are motivated to kill them. Failure to do so makes you a part of the system and therefore my enemy.